with a man. he caught me by surprise. i feel so bad and silly now. i know its haram for me to touch another man but it just happened. i feel he just introduced himself andf stuck out his hand. i didnt have time to think
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Dont worry sis that happened to me as well, I havent done it for months and then one day boom i do it without even thinking about it and by the time i put my hand out is too late lol
I'm narrow m inded!!! Most people in this world, for all the right reasons, care about what others think of them. You need to ask yourself "what would would they think of me by refusing to shake their hand?" Then you need to ask yourself the question "in refusing to shake that persons hand (in the name of Islam) what image does that portray of Islam?" I would suggest that the refusing to shake that mans hand would not only protray your self as a radical fundamentalist it would also portrary Islam as a radical fundamentalist religion. Is that the image you want to portray?
So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.
I love the way Americans think...
All cultures/traditions/customs are wrong/rude/offensive apart from the American/western culture. They can't seem to grasp that what they find offensive is probably the norm in another culture.
When will the Westerners learn to respect other cultures for God's sake!!!! :enough!:
Dont worry sis that happened to me as well, I havent done it for months and then one day boom i do it without even thinking about it and by the time i put my hand out is too late lol
lol, well i had a kick off with my other tutor, i mean he totally hates me, i couldnt care less, so what i have done is moved to another room where i hardly see any of them, that way is best.
Serene: lol, i remeber once this other girl was sat down and they were discussing about her CV ye, and he took out his hand to shake, you know what she did...
Put her cardigan sleeve over her hand and shook his hand instead, she herself is marshAllah a practising muslimmah and i thought if she could think that much then she could have thought of telling him that "tut tut no can do"
So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.
I love the way Americans think...
All cultures/traditions/customs are wrong/rude/offensive apart from the American/western culture. They can't seem to grasp that what they find offensive is probably the norm in another culture.
When will the Westerners learn to respect other cultures for God's sake!!!! :enough!:
I dont think them "westerners" know what other culture consists of. You know maybe they lack an understanding in it.
everyone is going bizerk if the tutor who is like your 'father' ,in respect termninolgy he is! then if he sticks out hes hand spontaniously and you shook it that is fine allah wont judge you on that but if you go around and shaking hands of men purposely then thats haram but if you still feel abit bad or guilty then just ask your tutor and just say 'excuse me sir im a muslim and shaking hands of other males is not allowed but on this occasion it is ok because you didnt know but in future reference i would ask you politely to refrain from shaking my hand'
simple!!!
every1 is saying u should of knocked him out??! how does that work the sister is worried of committing a sin and you guys want her not only too touch him even more but to give him a knock out blow???!
what does allah say
"Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance." (Qur'an 16:125)
is wisdom punching everyone that makes a mistake unintentionally
And as for the onewho fears standing in front of His Lord and restrainsthe soul from impure evil desires and lusts, verily, Paradise will be his abode [79:40-41]
So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.
I love the way Americans think...
All cultures/traditions/customs are wrong/rude/offensive apart from the American/western culture. They can't seem to grasp that what they find offensive is probably the norm in another culture.
When will the Westerners learn to respect other cultures for God's sake!!!! :enough!:
Thinker is not American, he/she is French. Check his/her location. Most Americans tend be more respectful in the regard. If you remember, American media did not publish cartoons while Western European media did on many occasions. Western Europe seems to have some kind of complex with Islam vs Freedom of speech and other related issues.
It is not Al-Birr (piety, righteousness, and obedience to Allâh, etc.) that you turn your faces towards east and (or) west (in prayers); but Al-Birr is (the quality of) the one who believes in Allâh, the Last Day, the Angels, the Book, the Prophets and gives his wealth, in spite of love for it, to the kinsfolk, to the orphans, and to Al-Masâkîn (the poor), and to the wayfarer, and to those who ask, and to set slaves free, performs As-Salât, and gives the Zakât, and keep their word whenever they make a promise, and who are patient in extreme poverty and ailment (disease) and at the time of persecution, hardship, and war. Such are the people of the truth and they are Al-Muttaqûn (the pious).
Lol ok so what, if someone stick out ther hand, then shake it, if you cant shake his HAND what would bring your hand to his face???
if he sticks out his hand:
Option #1 - Freeze till he feels embarassed and puts it back
Option #2 - shake it and get over it bcuz it aint big
Option #3 - Tell him WHY you wont shake it instead of shake it and feel bad.
Option #4 - tell him "what...the HELL are you doing????????" and he will totally stop that forever!
Option #5 - wait no im out of options
now choose which one is best, do it. and you'll all live happily ever after...
p.s. Thinker; stop thinking, other people; CHILLLL!!!
this happens plenty of times, only recently when i had to go to the plagarism meeting, the guy stuck out his hand and said oh hi, i no u! so i had to shake it, and i know how you feel when you say you feel bad afterwards,you just keep thinking if only my eman was strong enuf and i could give that 'im not allowed to shake hands with males' talk....but it just never comes, and they give u such a hearty smile (), you falter mid-speech and just go like this :X
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.
Not if I was in India. In fact if I was in India, as a asign of respect I would do as they do. AND, if I was in Saudi etc., as a sign of respect, I would follow whatever the local customs were.
The Prophet used to take the Pledge of allegiance from the women by words only after reciting this Holy Verse: (60.12) "..that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah." (60.12) And the hand of Allah's Apostle did not touch any woman's hand except the hand of that woman his right hand possessed. (i.e. his captives or his lady slaves).
Three simple rules in life:
1) If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it
2) If you don't ask, the answer will always be no.
3) If you do not step forward, you'll always be in the same place
What about my brothers-in-law? Can I shake their hand? Here, people kiss each other on the cheeks to greet. Whenever I hesitate, they take it bad. What do you think?
Not if I was in India. In fact if I was in India, as a asign of respect I would do as they do. AND, if I was in Saudi etc., as a sign of respect, I would follow whatever the local customs were.
Fair enough. But would you do it even if it made you uncomfortable or went against your morals?
Not if I was in India. In fact if I was in India, as a asign of respect I would do as they do. AND, if I was in Saudi etc., as a sign of respect, I would follow whatever the local customs were.
Here is a better example, here where I live people kiss too when they meet as bewildered mentioned. Kissing is part of culture, it is not boyfriend/girlfriend type of kiss and it is not looked in a sexual way. Normally in local traditional custom it is a kiss on the nose as part of greeting and sign of good/caring gesture and men kiss each other that way too. So when you come here and go to meet a local traditional family you will allow them to kiss you and kiss them in return for greeting?
It is not Al-Birr (piety, righteousness, and obedience to Allâh, etc.) that you turn your faces towards east and (or) west (in prayers); but Al-Birr is (the quality of) the one who believes in Allâh, the Last Day, the Angels, the Book, the Prophets and gives his wealth, in spite of love for it, to the kinsfolk, to the orphans, and to Al-Masâkîn (the poor), and to the wayfarer, and to those who ask, and to set slaves free, performs As-Salât, and gives the Zakât, and keep their word whenever they make a promise, and who are patient in extreme poverty and ailment (disease) and at the time of persecution, hardship, and war. Such are the people of the truth and they are Al-Muttaqûn (the pious).
Rasulullah S.A.W. said, "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women."
Prophet S.A.W. said, "The one who touches the hand of a woman without having a lawful relationship with her, will have an ember placed on his palm on the Day of Judgment." (Takmalah, Fath alQadir)
Again I reiterate that it is My RIGHT to shake someone's hand or not, the westerners that cry so much about why others don't shake hands with them need to practice some hygiene and start washing their hands after going to the toilet. Don't complain if you find it offensive, fix your ways!
Last edited by islamirama; 09-22-2008 at 06:38 PM.
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he just introduced himself andf stuck out his hand. i didnt have time to think
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Dont worry sis that happened to me as well, I havent done it for months and then one day boom i do it without even thinking about it and by the time i put my hand out is too late lol
), you falter mid-speech and just go like this :X
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