I see there are quite a few posts asking for Dua. Please, add me in your Duas. I am very depressed and I have gone through depression for most of my life. I pray as much as I can and do zikr, yet I still find myself relying on others for help. I’m extremely needy and I can’t cope on my own. I keep calling my ex and he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel as though I very desperately need that special someone and I’m getting on a bit now and I feel more and more lonely as the days go by.
I don’t just want anyone, I want the one I’m madly in love with. But, he doesn’t want me. I feel numb, de-motivated, lethargic, extremely lazy, empty and I feel very heavy inside. I need to be lightened, I need peace in my heart. I’m extremely impatient and I get angry so very quick. My family doesn’t live with me and my friends have they’re own problems. I’m so hurt and I need a cuddle now and then, but nobody is here. Allah (SWT) is with me, Alhumdolliah, but there’s times when we need a physical being with us, to spend our lifetime with. Please help and please remember me in your Duas, I need them desperately. :enough!:
I hope, posts like these, are deterrants for people who think theirs nothing wrong, with relationships outside of marriage. Too many times, I have heard the same story. One of them (usually the sister), ends up depressed and hurt most of the time to the point it really does ruin their life. A relationship without commitment, has a high probability of the two wanting different things, usually the other half doesn't take this very well. In marriage, it is based on a long-term commitment, hence you avoid these problems so much more.
Sister, this will be tough love, but, for the sake of Allah, get over him.
I see there are quite a few posts asking for Dua. Please, add me in your Duas. I am very depressed and I have gone through depression for most of my life. I pray as much as I can and do zikr, yet I still find myself relying on others for help. I’m extremely needy and I can’t cope on my own. I keep calling my ex and he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel as though I very desperately need that special someone and I’m getting on a bit now and I feel more and more lonely as the days go by.
I don’t just want anyone, I want the one I’m madly in love with. But, he doesn’t want me. I feel numb, de-motivated, lethargic, extremely lazy, empty and I feel very heavy inside. I need to be lightened, I need peace in my heart. I’m extremely impatient and I get angry so very quick. My family doesn’t live with me and my friends have they’re own problems. I’m so hurt and I need a cuddle now and then, but nobody is here. Allah (SWT) is with me, Alhumdolliah, but there’s times when we need a physical being with us, to spend our lifetime with. Please help and please remember me in your Duas, I need them desperately. :enough!:
Have I got a disease of the heart?
Don't be ridiculous, you don't have heart disease. I think you're letting this get to your head too much.
I totally agree with above poster. You need to get over him, he left you and broke your trust. He's shown how loyal he really is, so he was never good for you to begin with.
Never, ever make a commitment to a man outside of marriage it will always end in heart break and disappointment, depression and much more. The feeling will pass eventually, do not despair. I just hope you realise and learn the lesson that some things simply aren't as you perceive them to be. Modesty and honesty are very rare qualities in men (and women) in todays day and age, sadly..
If u desist from something you desire very much for the sake of Allah, in due time, and i emphasise due time, for life is not about immediate gratification, Allah will bless you with something better.
Firstly, your relationship was unlawful, so good riddance to that which displeased Allah, you should be happy not sad and depressed!
Secondly, right now this relationship has ended causing you distress....this is Allahs way of getting you to pay for your sins.
Your in distress, but this is a test and your failing it miserably, i think thats the real thing to be upset over, not some man, who is a creation of Allah just like you!
Ofcourse women need men and men need women, thats why Allah created us for one another, that cant be denied.However, you must follow the lawful means of attaining your natural physical and emotional needs. If this cannot be done, then fast, and be patient. After every hardship there is ease...
Last edited by Sahabiyaat; 10-17-2008 at 07:26 PM.
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
My family doesn’t live with me and my friends have they’re own problems.
Im just wondering how could parents let their daughter live on their own? I mean girls are always in need of support thats why they have their fathers or uncles then husbands. the west see it as opression women going from one roof to another but who knows us more than our creator Allah (swt)
Unless sister your a convert? then i understand
either way may Allah (swt) help you
The person who has a disease of the heart is the one far from Allah (swt). Leave the haram and ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness this is the cure
May Allah remove your pain and distress dear sis. Alhumdulillah, He has removed a source of sin from your life. Things can only get better inshaAllah.
Pain of this type is nothing when you think about the pain we could suffer from as a result of our sins in the here-after. I swear by Allah sis, nothing else will matter when death comes to us.
The Prophet (pbuh) explained:
“…when the time of the death of a believer approaches, he receives the good news of God’s pleasure with him and His blessings upon him, and so at that time nothing is dearer to him than what is in front of him. He therefore loves meeting God, and God loves meeting him.”(Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
and...
“When any of you dies, he is shown his position (in the Hereafter) morning and evening. If he is one of the people of Paradise, he is shown the place of the people of Paradise. If he is one of the people of Hell, he is shown the place of people of Hell. He is told, ‘this is your position, until God resurrects you on the Day of Resurrection.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)
Knowing this certainly shifts the balance for me. I also feel pain and loneliness sis. But I keep reminding myself that it won't matter in the end. Only my good deeds will be of help and importance. I know it's hard to just do a quick change and that it takes time. I wonder though, if we knew that death was close would how fast would we change? Still we can't fully comprehend that we might die in the next moment, so we slack. But slackness shouldnt stop us from making the effort. Even listening to al-Quran is a positive step. As it's the source of Guidence, it leads to nothing but benefit for us. First it will heal your pain. Yes! Just by listening to it you will feel the difference. And when your pain lessens, naturally you will feel better, stronger and more positive. Then inshaAllah, when you feel more in control, you decide what matters more - the deen or the dunya? And according to that you live your life. I hope and pray you choose deen.
And i know it's hard to pray in depression which is ironic really since salah is what keeps depression away. So force yourself to make wudhu and offer fardh rakahs. You won't feel worse than before sis, I promise. Please make whatever effort you can. And I know you can. I just hate to see my sister suffering and wasting moments that can be used to seek the pleasure of Allah swt and tip the balance of scales in your favour in the End. InshaAllah!
And as always, I'm here for all my sisters, inshaAllah. So you can talk to me in pvt if you like.
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:enough!:
I see there are quite a few posts asking for Dua. Please, add me in your Duas. I am very depressed and I have gone through depression for most of my life. I pray as much as I can and do zikr, yet I still find myself relying on others for help. I’m extremely needy and I can’t cope on my own. I keep calling my ex and he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel as though I very desperately need that special someone and I’m getting on a bit now and I feel more and more lonely as the days go by.
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