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Thread: What do I say?

  1. #1
    muslimah 4 life's Avatar
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    What do I say?

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    Brothers and sisters can you please help me out on this ...

    I have a close friend who wasn't really practising islam. She met this brother through the local masjid. He encouraged her to think about Islam and alhumdulillah she is now a better muslim.

    The brother wanted to marry her and I agreed that he seemed a good match.
    Her mother died while she was very young and her father wasn't really bothered so I thinking she is 28 years old kept telling her to look into it. She finally agreed.

    The brother wanted the wedding asap explaining it was to avoid haraam eg. speaking over the phone etc. My friend agreed and the wedding was arranged quite fast.

    A day before the wedding the brother came to see her and told her that he had already been married. He also came out with a pre-nuptial agreement without consulting her about it first. He then told her if she didn't sign it the wedding would not happen. She signed it in a panic not really reading it through.

    After the wedding he stopped her from working, she was a advisor in a bank.
    She had a little boy quite soon alhumdulillah. Her husband often goes away for work and doesn't really support her like he should.
    He told her islamically he only has to provide her with one meal a day and a roof over her head. Before marriage she was earning good money and wasn't used to all this.

    Anyways the problem now is that recently during and argument he told her that in the agreement she signed it says that if they do ever divorce she is not entitled to anything financially and can't keep her children. Not only that he also told her she would have to pay him back any living expense that he paid for her!!!

    I see my friend every second day due to a islamic circle we attend she is becoming so stressed. I don't know what to say to her anymore.

    Please help....

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    Sister_22013's Avatar
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    Re: What do I say?

    Sister, I'm saddened to hear this.

    Can someone please advise her accordingly?

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    Zahida's Avatar
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    Re: What do I say?

    I am so sorry and saddened to hear this. This man who says he is Muslim is not and has not acted very Islamically................ That's beside the point though, the sister should seek advice from The Shariah Counsel, that will depend on where you are....................

    InshaAllah they should be able to offer advice and support Ameen.
    What do I say?

    Zahida

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    youngsister's Avatar
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    Re: What do I say?



    Subxnallah sister I am sorry to hear about your friend situation!

    This whole situation sounds weird, the man is the provider he should provide for his family fully..not part time, whats with the one meal a day?
    And how can he take her children away?

    Like sister Zahida said get someone with knowledge involved, May Allah swt make it easy for her.

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    Dawud_uk's Avatar
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    Re: What do I say?



    there is fault on both sides of the argument here,

    she is wrong as she should not work in a bank, it is a haram income and Allah and his messenger (saws) declare war on such people, how much more serious a warning do you want?

    she is also wrong in demanding more, strictly speaking he is right in saying as long as he puts a roof over her head and gives her food then her rights are fulfilled, though if he gives more to himself and others then this is stinginess which is a very negative trait in islam.

    but if he is feeding her the same as he himself eats, he lives in the same conditions either because he is poor or he spends the rest of his money helping others then where is the blame here?

    now he is wrong to force this pre-nuptal agreement, making conditions which are not correct and oppress her rights as a wife and muslimah,

    i would advice her to find a good alim or mufti who lives near her and explain her case and ask him to speak to the brother, i am certain the sheikh should say the pre-nuptal is invalid and was made under duress as brought round the night before marriage and putting a woman who is a fragile creature at the best of times under so much pressure.

    What do I say?

    Abu Abdillah

    Submitting to none but Allah

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    Snowflake's Avatar
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    Re: What do I say?

    subhanAllah! what is the world coming to? May Allah knock some sense into that man's silly little head. Ameen. The sister should take her marriage contract and show it to a scholar for the best advice inshaAllah. One meal a day, my foot!

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    muslimah 4 life's Avatar
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    Re: What do I say?



    Jizakhallah everyone.

    I spoke to my father and he too said that she should seek advice from a mufti. Maybe she can go to the masjid who arranged the marriage.

    Thanks for all your replies, I haven't really posted much on LI but I do come on everyday. From that I knew you my dear muslim bros and sisters were the right people to share my concerns with.
    May Allah reward you all for you concern and care that you all sincerely have.



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