I am a 23 year old man; Born and raised in a Muslim family. I am facing a very critical problem. My dad was married to two women. I am in love with the daughter of my sister from my dad's side. To make it simple I am in love with my niece and she is in love with me too! We are the same age and have been sharing these feelings for over 8 years and we are not being able to get over each other or consider one another uncle and niece! Since we were 14 and up until today we cannot manage to live without each other yet as you know our religion, culture, and society prevents us from having any future together! What is it that a person can do? We cant manage to give up our love, we cant manage to see each other with different people, we cant manage to get married, we cant manage to do anything!
Can we be together without any marriage or sexual intercourse? How will religion punish us for that? We cant emotionally separate no matter how much we have tried! Please, I need help..!
Well sexual activities can only take place within marriage. You cannot get married to your niece.
So you need separate.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mothers who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters…”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:23]
Love is an ailment for which the Prophet (saw) prescribed marriage as the best cure.
"We never saw anything like marriage for lovers." Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) -Ibn Majah
But when love cannot be attained by legal means (marriage), then other methods must be sought to cure it.
Fasting is recommended for those who cannot marry - but we are talking about legal marriages. For you brother, it is important that you convince yourself that desiring this love is futile because Allah has prohibited it for you. For your own benefit, you both must realise that by not trying to cure yourself, you are in danger of losing what is more important, more beloved, the source of ever-lasting happiness and contentment. A few days of pleasure on earth are not worth losing Paradise for. The one you desire, is the one who can become the source of ruining your deen, dunya and your Here-After. Surely that is not what seek for yourself?
Who is truly worthy of your love bro? Allah, the Glorified and Exalted? The one who created you? Fashioned you in your mother's womb? Gave you life? The One who wants to forgive your sins and calls you to Paradise so that you can attain eternal bliss and joy forever? The One without Whose will you would not be able to blink your eye?
Tell me brother? Who is truly worthy of your love? Him, who Created you and is Perfect in every way. Or, the one whose body can fall victim to a disease that could make you retch with repulsion? Would you love her then? Would you love her if she were to go insane? Would you love her if she had leprosy? (Allah forbid all I say). Your love would dwindle with the passing second. You only love of her what you see. If man were to have a hole in his abdomin and the vile stench of his bodily filth could be smelt feet away, no one would want to go near him, let alone love him. That is the reality of humans. It is by Allah's mercy that He has concealed our most vile traits and secret sins from others? Yet if the one you love, knows of your sin, she will bear witness against you on the Day we all will be ressurected. Where will the love go my bro? There will be no love except for one's own self.
Then it is not Him, Whom we should love above anything else in this world? You can achieve anything you want. Your mind is not in anyone's control but yours. You can convince yourself that there is nothing to be gained but a lot to be lost. You can hate, what Allah hates for you and learn to love what Allah loves for you. It is in your hands bro. Guard yourself and your akhirah. Learn the deen and seek knowledge like your life depends on it. In a way it does... I pray Allah makes it easy for you. Make dua to Allah to help you. There is no help save His. The Lord of the Worlds. The Glorified, The Praiseworthy.
I can understand it would be very hard to live apart from eachother for the rest of your life, and to make the moves to do this, but you have to do it. Try to cut off all contact and connections with eachother, make some big changes in your life that will distract you and fill your life and mind and memories with other stuff.
You can never get over someone you always see and have contact with, but if a person doesn't even exist in your life then with time you will get over it as there is nothing freshening your love and your desires and your memories.
erm... in islam you couldn't marry your niece...and you have to know this from the beginning..and you should avoid it from the beginning...
Don't you feel like 'in love' with your own sister? Don't you feel kinda weird?
I remember once i watch an episode of house...and this one couple who are neighbours since they were small and in love with each other. and house has diagnosed them of having a genetic disease which has open up a secret they are actually brother and sisters. and they do not know that the father has an affair with the neighbour ( a lesson to all... the consequences of having a secret affiar, please remember what ever you think about others especially the children).
If islam says haraam... there must be a justification for it. Shaytan will always play his role and he will try his very very best...in whichever ways. Love sometimes are hard to forget... but better stop it when you can before you have the regrets for the rest of your life.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Can we be together without any marriage or sexual intercourse? How will religion punish us for that? We cant emotionally separate no matter how much we have tried! Please, I need help..!
Considering that she's the same age as you, I would not go as far as saying it is disgusting and gross, but I wouldn't blame those who say that either.
You need to wake up though and stop this nonsensical babble because it seems you are over-dramatizing your situation. "Can't be apart from her... can't manage to give up our love... religion, culture, and society are against us" your words are over romanticizing a situation with heroic movie connotations and psychologically you are the one basically re-enforcing the whole idea. The immature layers seem to show through your desparate suggestion of "Can we be together without any marriage or sexual intercourse?", like how? Proper uncle and niece and not a hint of these "emotions", yes you can. Be together as in some platonic emotionally charged clandestine relationship, then you need to be told to wake up!
If you wish to get out of this then stop being a silly young man and move on. There isn't a guy I know at 20 who haven't had a "love like no other" only to break up with the first over what sometimes are the silliest of things. They move on and find someone else and get married and couldn't be happier, and later ask "what were they thinking!" You're 23/24 so you're ripe enough for one of those, it would do you some good and put into perspective what real love is.
Sorry if I sounded harsh brother, but right is right and for a 23 year old man to be this lost to romantic emotions needs a bit of a nudge. You'll face God your creator to be asked about how you lived your life, and what would you expect to say? "Stayed close to my niece moaning about our unconsummated love"? No I don't think so, you should have had a proper relationship and grown blessed children who had grandchildren and provided sustenance and guidance to them all.
Hope you find your guidance
_____________________________________________
Iblis's eternal destination in the Hellfire is due to Arrogance, not Disbelief.
erghh man.. whats wrong with you?.. thats so wrong its not even funny. As the posters above said its haraam.. in love or not..it doesn't matter what your saying is beyond belief lol..
SubhanAllah. Din't know such feelings could even exist. Stay away from eachother, you cant make halal somehting which is clearly prohibited, both morally & Islamically incorrect.
I actually thought the OP was a joker given he is an 'unregistered guest'..
that is just plain disgusting, it is really perverse .. I can't wrap my mind around it!
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
it can happen easily as the girl becomes more attractive with age and is not that young child anymore that he use to play with.. so as there is a lot of things that is not allowed in the scriptures but people still do, this is a sin like anything else as every other sin is disgusting for Allah so i would repent and move on! know that this is a big transgression
I actually thought the OP was a joker given he is an 'unregistered guest'..
that is just plain disgusting, it is really perverse .. I can't wrap my mind around it!
im sure his struggling with the issue sis.
these types of haram relationships are not rare amongst the non-muslims at all. I heard shocking statistics in a lecture before which i will not rob the innocense of people with. But subhanALlah... the shaytan is doing his job...
may Allah protect us all from his influences and keep us pure upon the path which pleases Allaah. Ameen
-
My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
-
^^^ eventhough it is from different mother...but it is from the same father. And in islam this a full blood sister.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
the niece is actually a daughter of a half sister, right? so, it is not a full blood sister, correct?
is this permissible in Islam?
If a baby was given a single full breast feed from any woman, that baby is now haraam to all the woman's children and cannot marry any of them when they grow up, so a half-sister is actually not even close to the edge. It is still haraam.
_____________________________________________
Iblis's eternal destination in the Hellfire is due to Arrogance, not Disbelief.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
جوري liked this post
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks