Allah did not give me a brother or sister..

**anonymous** · 06-21-2009

..and it kills me inside.

When i was younger i used to make obsessive dua to Allah to give me a brother or sister, but it never happened and it can never happen now obviously.

People always say "oh you're so lucky, it must be great being an only child"..but it isn't.
Or they say "aww it must be awful for you, you must get so lonely"..and that upsets me so much, how can people be so insensitive and say something like that, what possible response can i give to that while they stand proud with their brother/sister and i stand there alone.
Or they ask "would you have liked to have a brother or sister?", again what can i say to that, if i say no then i am lying, if i say yes then i am admitting to something that privately torments me and hurting my parents by making them feel like they let me down.

I always make out that i have enough brotherly/sisterly relationships with my cousins and i'm happy..but at the end of the day they aren't my actual brothers or sisters and they don't know me inside out, they don't grow up with me day and night, they don't feel the complete loyalty and unjudgmental love that your own flesh and blood does, they're not there for me 100% of the time, they're not really mine..

It hurts me so much more knowing that my mother lost a baby when i was very young, to think i was so close to having, what i believe, was a brother.. When i am going through a bad day, i remember him, i pine for him, i hurt so much, as i really need him.. I cry for a brother i never knew, that i never had. I wonder what he would have looked like, what he would sound like, what he would do and how he would hug me and comfort me and tell me that he is always there for me, because he is mine, MY brother..

Everybody else i know has a brother or sister, if not many of them, and though they may fight, argue, and complain about them alot, they love eachother and get so many happy times with them, so many benefits, so much love, so much family contentment and also growth of the family due to marriages and nephews and neices..i feel i have nothing. I have my parents and that is it. When we go out, or go on holidays not including my relatives, it is just me and my parents..which is difficult. And one day they shall be old, and leave me, and i will have noone that will know my pain and share what i feel about them.

I just feel so lonely thinking about all this and i wonder why Allah left me as an only child. I feel it has done me no good in life. I'm not spoilt, but i know that i am treated much more differently by my parents because i am their only one, they are so over protective, and everything i do can make or break their happiness as everything lies on me. And i feel i haven't learnt life's lessons properly because i am so shielded and protected. And when things are happening in our home, in our family, there is noone to talk to that i can relate to. yes i have my friends and my cousins, but it is just not the same as having your own brother or sister.

I know Allah will reward me for not having this gift in life..but i just feel so sad that i will never have this gift, i will never have this experience in this world. I guess i will meet my brother in jannat..but in jannat there won't be hardships and troubles where i need my brother, like i needed him in this world. I am not questioning Allah, but i am wondering why some people are left without brothers and sisters, some people who want it more than anything..

**anonymous** · 06-23-2009

Thankyou for your replies, i read every single one..

I have good friends and good girl cousins, but seriously nothing can compare. Yes you can have a really close friend, but they won't grow up with you in your home and know you inside out and have the same bond you do with your parents, sharing that special something that only immediate family can. They're not there sitting with me having dinner every night, breakfast, there 1st thing in the morning, last thing at night, they're not on family holidays, they're not arguing with me everyday about trivial things, banging on the bathroom door, giving me money which they don't expect to be paid back, doing every little favour for me even though it annoys them..you see what i mean?

And i know that i am lucky in so many ways, i thank Allah all the time for how lucky i am to have so many good things in my life, and i know there are so many people worse off than me, but you can say that about almost any situation. I just wanted to share my pain in what i believe many people take for granted. I know you guys are trying to make me feel better and put things in perspective by saying how other people are worse off, but i already know that, and it doesn't take away the essence of my situation.

I don't feel Allah has been cruel to me, or un-fair, i just wonder what test he is giving me and what i must do, and i do really pine for my brother, but i know Allah will reward me for all this and already rewards me in many ways.

**- IqRa -** · 06-23-2009

. I just wanted to share my pain in what i believe many people take for granted.

It's good to let it out.

i know Allah will reward me for all this and already rewards me in many ways.

Hang in there =) Maybe this is our test? To be an only child, to crave for a sister/brother to:

they won't grow up with you in your home and know you inside out and have the same bond you do with your parents, sharing that special something that only immediate family can. They're not there sitting with me having dinner every night, breakfast, there 1st thing in the morning, last thing at night, they're not on family holidays, they're not arguing with me everyday about trivial things, banging on the bathroom door, giving me money which they don't expect to be paid back, doing every little favour for me even though it annoys them..you see what i mean?

Yes, I know what you mean as I am in the same boat. Allah's wisdom, sister, Allah's wisdom.