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  1. #1
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    please advice --Counseling

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    Salam,
    i hope all is well inshallah amd Ramazan is going well,
    i need advice!!!!!!!!
    Basically due to many reasons, my health..many sleepless nights, im talking many and lack of esteem and confidence, ive become low, stressed and depressed.
    I honestly cant stop thinking negatively, the realtionship i have with everyone, my friends, collegues, etc im always just negative.
    I had a huge argument with my friend, abt 5 months ago, and it hurt her. I realised my msitakes and apologised. We kept our contact distant, which is best for now. i just cant feel positive, ONE MINUTE i can like someone and within minutes, hrs i can dislike them, hate them or envy them.
    i hate this so much, i feel in the back of my mind, my other friends favour this friend, i dont feel important. I dont have the same relationship any more with my friends, as they know im sensitive and get affected easily by stuff in their lives. Negative things stay with me, they dnt go.

    Ive had counselling, because its really bad, ive been told i just sabtage everfin good in my life, esp my health. Im obsessed with looks, and faling in love. im always thinking what others have and use it againt myself to make myself fell rubbish and be ungrateful. Alhamduillah Allah swt has given me some confidence, but i need to teach myself to get out of this coz its messing me up. I find it difficult to get out of this cycle. I really want to change, but i find i cant. I try and fail.

    ive been advised to see a phsychrist, but im really scared, because already my health.. physical health aint good due to lack of sleep and tiredness, im scared they will give me drugs and put me in a hospital, astigifurallah, God Forbid. I need to be able to study my final year this year at uni,Inshallah, i have one week or so left and im scared.
    I want to change so much, please give me tips and how to develop self confidence/ esteem, be able to eradicate these thoughts and attitudes and most importantly sleep Inshallah.
    please remeber me in your duas, Jazakallah khair

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    AnonymousPoster's Avatar
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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    so any tips anybody?

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    IbnAbdulHakim's Avatar
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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    forget psychiatrist


    everything you've said are signs of low emaan.


    just work on your spirituality and i guarantee a better life.

    find the most common sin you commit and vow to not do it again - thats something i would strongly recommend.


    i bet if you follow this advice your relationship with everyone will improve - im speaking from real life experience.


    i've noticed everytime my emaan took a dip so did my relations with my friends...

    may Allah protect us all - Ameen
    please advice --Counseling

    -
    My tears testify that i have a heart
    yet i feel me and shaytan never part
    -

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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    ive been advised to see a phsychrist, but im really scared, because already my health.. physical health aint good due to lack of sleep and tiredness,
    You're the one who needs to decide whether you want to fix yourself or not. This statement seems to be self-defeating again: you've been told to go to a psychiatrist, but you don't want to, because of your physical health symptoms which are actually brought about by your psychological status. Sounds that you are just defeating yourself there. If you are tired and sleepy, most doctors would automatically tell you that you have a psychological conflict and you need to resolve it, so go to a therapist and get this out in the open.

    My personal advice is not to waste your time on old school psychiatrists, they spend 20 years opening you up and hardly get anything done. Find a modern hypnotherapist that knows how to work with and dig out what's wrong with your belief system, because your actions seem to be subconscious and that you're working against strong inner beliefs that might have been implanted in you when you were a child.
    please advice --Counseling

    _____________________________________________

    Iblis's eternal destination in the Hellfire is due to Arrogance, not Disbelief.



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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    Quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post
    ONE MINUTE i can like someone and within minutes, hrs i can dislike them, hate them or envy them.

    Its your spiritual belief you need to work on. learn about your religion more. find out what Allah swt likes and what Allah swt dislikes. fear Allah. you are not a child. you know this is wrong to feel this way.. have you not heard what the prophet mohammad pbuh said about this?

    you can control this ignorant behaviour. it will ruin your life if you allow it! and probably will ruin the chance and the hereafter also if you go through life hurting people for no reason what so ever. what did they do to harm you? if someone is blessed with good looks mashallaah.

    you will throw the evil eye at her? if that person is more intelligent or that person is more out going happy person confident person. why dose anybody deserve bad dirty evil eyes.???. i am asking. Do you know what happens when somebody is inflicted with envy? we are all brothers and sisters of Adam and eve may peace and blessings be upon them!

    So fear the grave and repent and fear the grave and know what you are doing is a grave sin and you will be held to account for it.

    control this behaviour so that you may prosper

    and Allah will have a place for you high in jannah close to him inshallaah.

    defeat the shaytaan. he only sets out to cause trouble between us
    please advice --Counseling




  8. #6
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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    Quote Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman View Post
    forget psychiatrist


    everything you've said are signs of low emaan.


    just work on your spirituality and i guarantee a better life.
    find the most common sin you commit and vow to not do it again - thats something i would strongly recommend.


    i bet if you follow this advice your relationship with everyone will improve - im speaking from real life experience.


    i've noticed everytime my emaan took a dip so did my relations with my friends...

    may Allah protect us all - Ameen
    MashaAllah, good advice akhi! Increasing one's self in spirituality is the key.

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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    Quote Originally Posted by Sampharo View Post
    You're the one who needs to decide whether you want to fix yourself or not. This statement seems to be self-defeating again: you've been told to go to a psychiatrist, but you don't want to, because of your physical health symptoms which are actually brought about by your psychological status. Sounds that you are just defeating yourself there. If you are tired and sleepy, most doctors would automatically tell you that you have a psychological conflict and you need to resolve it, so go to a therapist and get this out in the open.

    My personal advice is not to waste your time on old school psychiatrists, they spend 20 years opening you up and hardly get anything done. Find a modern hypnotherapist that knows how to work with and dig out what's wrong with your belief system, because your actions seem to be subconscious and that you're working against strong inner beliefs that might have been implanted in you when you were a child.
    this is good , second
    please advice --Counseling

    ” إن الأمة التي تحسن صناعة الموت توهب لها الحياة”

    正直・・・微妙

  10. #8
    Muhaba's Avatar
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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    Salam,
    i hope all is well inshallah amd Ramazan is going well,
    i need advice!!!!!!!!
    Basically due to many reasons, my health..many sleepless nights, im talking many and lack of esteem and confidence, ive become low, stressed and depressed.
    Dearest sister, hope you are well. It may be that due to sleepless nights you are feeling this way. So the first thing you should do is get enough sleep. University studies can be very tiring and stressful and sometimes ppl sacrifice sleep in order to study but that not only causes stress & depression but also reduces the quality of studying, as lack of sleep affects concentration and memory. When I was university, sometimes i wanted to study nonstop, even on weekends, and i remember that the tiredness only reduced the amount of material i could retain. But taking a day or two off increased the quality of study. So in addition to getting enough sleep, take at least one day off from study every week, using this day to recharge your batteries!
    I honestly cant stop thinking negatively, the realtionship i have with everyone, my friends, collegues, etc im always just negative.
    This negativity may also be due to lack of sleep. So first get enough sleep and then see whether you still feel this way.

    How long has this behavior been going on? Have you felt this way all your life or recently? If recently, then try to figure out what happened during that time that could have caused it.
    I had a huge argument with my friend, abt 5 months ago, and it hurt her. I realised my msitakes and apologised. We kept our contact distant, which is best for now. i just cant feel positive, ONE MINUTE i can like someone and within minutes, hrs i can dislike them, hate them or envy them.
    i hate this so much, i feel in the back of my mind, my other friends favour this friend, i dont feel important. I dont have the same relationship any more with my friends, as they know im sensitive and get affected easily by stuff in their lives. Negative things stay with me, they dnt go.
    You need to forget what others might be thinking of you or of others because you really won't know what others think except through their words and actions. Don't care about whether some friend favors another friend more or not. You are all friends and shouldn't really be competing with each other. Just live your life and be happy. If others love you, fine. If not, that's their problem. Strive to be the best you can for Allah's sake and don't care too much about others' attitude toward you as that is both unimportant and you have no power over it. If despite you being the best you can, others still don't like you, they have a problem and you would be better off without them. But if you let such negativity affect you, not only will you suffer but others will also not like your behavior and won't want to be close to you, which will only make matters worse.

    So just be happy and don't care too much about what others think. Only care about what Allah will think! We must always strive to be better Muslims and please Allah as much as we can. That should be our aim in life.

    Ive had counselling, because its really bad, ive been told i just sabtage everfin good in my life, esp my health. Im obsessed with looks, and faling in love. im always thinking what others have and use it againt myself to make myself fell rubbish and be ungrateful. Alhamduillah Allah swt has given me some confidence, but i need to teach myself to get out of this coz its messing me up. I find it difficult to get out of this cycle. I really want to change, but i find i cant. I try and fail.
    the Prophet (SAW) said that in this world we should look at those who have less than us, so we don't become ungrateful. Look at the ppl who have life-threatening diseases, paralysis, no legs or arms, accidents that ruined their looks, etc. Think of the ppl who have no food or money, no means to get education, etc. This will make you realize all that you have and make you more grateful to Allah as well as make you feel happy about what have (something we easily overlook).

    The Prophet (SAW) also said that we should look at those who have Islamic knowledge and spread that knowledge or who have money and give in the cause of Allah and we should strive to be like them. (Don't remember the exact words of the above two hadith). Therefore, make it your aim to get islamic knowledge and spread it, help others in which ever way you can, whether by giving money to someone poor you know or volunteering with some charity organization or hospital, etc.

    ive been advised to see a phsychrist, but im really scared, because already my health.. physical health aint good due to lack of sleep and tiredness, im scared they will give me drugs and put me in a hospital, astigifurallah, God Forbid. I need to be able to study my final year this year at uni,Inshallah, i have one week or so left and im scared.
    I want to change so much, please give me tips and how to develop self confidence/ esteem, be able to eradicate these thoughts and attitudes and most importantly sleep Inshallah.
    please remeber me in your duas, Jazakallah khair
    Insha-Allah you won't need to go to a psychaitrist. You're just stressed out from lack of sleep and university as well as peer pressure, belongingness needs, etc. Common stuff in this age really! Insha-Allah by changing your goals and getting more sleep you'll do fine.

    May Allah help you.

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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    salam,
    many thanks for your advice, i will try to implement them. i know my issues and problems and theyve been going on for ages, 2-3 yrs. They why i treat myself most of all in these last few years has taken a toll on me, Alhamduillah am young, but i just sometimes dont feel it coz am tired.
    Please member me in ur duas, I really hope inshAllah things get better, it really takes time to change negative thoughts to positive thoughts and actually to believe and implement them. Im really obssessive abt stuff, if things i like or i hate or make me insecure, stay at the back of my mind and i just keep thinking abt them. like when i get envious,there in my head, i try to fight them but there doing my heading. sometimes i just accept. coz i have low self esteem and belief abt my life, health and future i worry, obsess what others have and use that to hurt myself. to be honest, at times i really dont like myself.

    as the previous post states, about sleep being the main issue and cause, that i can say is true. i just hope it gets better. its difficult to have consistent sleep, esp in Ramadhan, Allah SWT make it easy for me. Ameen
    Jazakallah khair.

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    Re: please advice --Counseling

    salam,
    many thanks for your advice, i will try to implement them. i know my issues and problems and theyve been going on for ages, 2-3 yrs, BT FIND IT HARD TO IMPLEMENT THE advice. They way i treated myself in these last few years has taken a toll on me, Alhamduillah am young, but i just sometimes dont feel it coz am tired and cant be bothered to take cre of myself.
    Please member me in ur duas, I really hope inshAllah things get better, it really takes time to change negative thoughts to positive thoughts and actually to believe and implement them. Im really obssessive abt stuff, if there are things i like or i hate or make me insecure, stay at the back of my mind and i just keep thinking abt them. like when i get envious,there in my head, i try to fight them but there doing my heading. sometimes i just accept. coz i have low self esteem and belief abt my life, health and future i worry, obsess what others have and use that to hurt myself. to be honest, at times i really dont like myself.

    as the previous post states, about sleep being the main issue and cause, that i can say is true. i just hope it gets better. its difficult to have consistent sleep, esp in Ramadhan, Allah SWT make it easy for me. Ameen
    Jazakallah khair.


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