I really need some advice.
I'll try and explain my situation breifly. I live at home with my parent's and siblings, due to a previous relationship breakdown (before I converted to Islam) I then lost my job and then I had a car accident and lost my car (Nice year huh!) I was extremely grateful that I didn't loose my life, extremely grateful and extremly lucky, it changed my view on alot of things (something not everyone understands or shares the same view on).
That was 2008. Since then i've not been able to hold down any work. At first I was applying for working with my field, then admin jobs, then any jobs I came across which I could do. Yesterday I had a phone call from an agent and she warned me because i've been out of work so long, the client might not call me for an interview because of that. I know this would be an issue and i'm sure in the current climate i'm not the only person facing this issue, its simular to the issue you have when you've gone from school to college and university, no one want's to employ you because you have know experience. So although her honesty did put me down a little, I wasn't to bothered as I had the simular situation when I left university.
The biggest problem I have, is my father. He is self employed, he is also currently out of work and he constantly puts me down. I call them his ego trips, because I cannot see any other reason for why he does it other then he's trying to make himself feel better. He'll say Oh you've been out of work for 14 months, you aren't doing enough. He says he doesn't put me down but he does. He'll make an entire conversation on how if someone has my cv and someone else's cv and someone with the same qualifications has been in work and i've not they'll choose that person over me. Obviously I know this, so then I ask, do you have any positive advice on how I can change this. No. He just likes to make these negative scenarios to make himself feel better like he's better then me because i've been out of work longer and everyone else has managed to find a job.
I'm also having a problem where by, basic unskilled jobs I apply for, they won't take me on because i'm over qualified, but I can't take my degree off my cv or how will I explain a big 5 year gap?
The main problem is him, I cannot cope with his constant bring me downs just so he can feel better. When I try and argue points back, they are ignored or argued against and then he'll come out with his favorite line of, if you're going to shout at me you can get out of my house.
Trust me, I want to leave this house asap. Anything I do that he doesn't agree with is used against me and according to him a "waste of time".
I try and stay strong and ignore it but sometimes it's hard
If he sees me getting upset and I tell him it's because of what he said, he gets upset and makes me feel guily because he comes out with things such as "Don't say that, I only want the best for you".
Which i'm not doubting, but the way he goes about it is completely wrong and he won't listen.
Sometimes I want to run, but I have no where to run
and he knows this and he uses it against me, which is why he tells me to leave, he knows I won't leave and i'll do what he says because i've no where else to actually go.
I hate arguing with him, but sometimes he acts so childish, he doesn't seem to realise i'm not a child that needs his permission for things I want to do with my life. Instead he thinks I should be doing what he sees right for my life.
I don't know what to do
This is the third day we've been at home togerther now everyone is back in work and this is the third day i've put up with this. It will only stop when he seems I am upset and i'm not prepared for him to beat me down that low all the time. At least it stops for a week or so until he feels the need to repeat this same scenario over and over.
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