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I have strayed away from Islam

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    I have strayed away from Islam (OP)


    I guess I should start from the beginning but hopefully I can find away back to Islam at the end of it... Both my parents are traditional Muslims with traditional conservative values. So obv i was brought up in the traditional way learning Arabic, reading the Koran etc. I never questioned Islam as a child and I did what was expected of me. But living in a western society peer pressure and being a teenager social life caught up with me and i choose a bad path which my parents followed me down, at the age of 15/16 my parents came down on me hard, truthfully there was a lot of argument, fights and tears... but i found the right path again.

    Now Im 18 and well though i found the right path in terms of morals and education, spirtually Im more confused than ever. Since the age of 15 I've never prayed for the right reasons, either my mother nagged me till i did or just for the sake of my mum not nagging me. And at the peak of my teen craziness i didn't touch the prayer mat let alone the mosque, rather more interested in what the devil had to offer me from parties to well I'm gonna be truthful sex before marriage.

    Now that I've 'calmed down' and taking the path to adulthood the spiritual aspects begin to dawn on me. For sometime I've been lying to my parents my again doing what suppose to be expected of me, Salah, Friday Prayers at the mosque and saying all the right things at the right times. Privately i have my reservations about Islam, currently again I'm living in sin I have a GF and she's atheist, the reason I'm here is because of her she made me realises i need to be honest about how i feel instead of keeping everything behind close doors because its a bigger sin to know your sinning but do nothing to stop it or something like that I'm not sure really?

    My values have changed since as well, hence the reason I have a gf and we are sexually active. Moreover i guess good things have come out of this as well personally im more tolerant of all other religions and politically well I'm a liberal i guess. But this doesn't make what I'm doing right i suppose, don't get me wrong i believe there is a God but is Islam what i truly believe in, ? on that question for now. The few Muslim friends I have apart from family, i confided in them and they said i need to talk to my Imam, unfortunately i haven't spoken to my Imam since i was 9 and i don't even have his number.

    Truthfully I'm scared of whats happened, i have forgotten how to read the Koran, i haven't touched it in how many years God knows, im forgetting the surah's i've learned. And now i barely even roll out my prayer rug, I'm in soo deep that it feels like there is no going back i guess this is my wake up call....... What do I do

    Thanx 2 every1 who replies

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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

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    I have strayed away from Islam


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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes View Post
    i think your problem is that your young brother and most of the young muslims that come to my mosque they don't even know how to pray and they are born muslim only about 14 and 15 and even older and they are very open about there problems and we try to help them as much as we can and maybe you could also benefit from going to your local mosque and start from scratch like learning the basics of islam

    True that many younger brothers are born a muslim only, nothing else its sort of sad in a way but its the facts. but thanx 4 yur reply sis
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    these points mentioned so far seem to be veryy good i must say.

    But i'll add my own lil input

    Right firstly i must tell uu that i agree being a teenager is alot harder thaan most people understand in the west unless they've been through it. The social pressures, culture, tradition cann all be combined with relgion and confuse you. But look at it this wayyy.. you have taken that first step towards Islam again, you have realised you have done wrong and you obviously have some sort of guilt in you and you understand that .. alhumdulilah and may allah allow you to continuing taking these steps back to him

    Never ever feel that you have sinned so much that your lord can't forgive you.. because bro that is a trick of the satan and he will toll with your emotions in this manner and make you feel bad, and prevent you from ever coming bac to the correc thinge ever again. I no this sounds easy enough to understand but it is very hard for all of us to think that after all the sins we commit to keep trying to come bac too our lord everytime; but to put it into perspective " we only have one life, so use it well and live in happiness (with your married gf, if she coneverts Inshallah) in Paradise; or stray away from the path and enter the hell fire.
    Lifes too short, we dunno if we're gonna be here tmrw, so start today IA

    alwayss praying for you IA
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by x Muslimah x View Post
    Salaam Bro... Speaking in your defence, I wana say that I feel sorry fo you in tha sense that you were told just to du certain things e.g. praying without maybe learning tha rewards of it.. Being bought up in such a way, without proper education about tha deen is prolly majorly tha reason why youths nowdays stray from tha deen and are left chasing after dunya... Like I'm from a Paki background, and ano how some Paki mentalities are, tha parents think that they can gaurd you against ery evil in tha wulrd by forcing you to go jummah or sending you to a Molvi or sumet, it hardly wurks like that...
    I think you need to be honest to yourself, and ask what you really want. Embracing Islam is not difficult, buh you need to fight your nafs and all tha wurdly temptations to get to tha answers you need. So fix up your priorities I guess... I mean in reality, think after this life ends... is that it? So all of us are guna RIP? Musik.. Wha if I DONT listen to it? Whats tha alternatives?... GF... W/o her am I guna pyshically detiorate? Most of these peoples say they cant live their lifes without these HARAM partners? Buh like are you really guna stop eating and drinking if your not together...? And is she what you want as a WIFE? or isit timepass thing... I put my life on it and say you'll find these answers in Islam. Ain' no other religion better than that.. I think before you start going into comparative relgion (Islam v Chirsitianity) Learn abouh your own religion first.. If you got got any questions, post them up, and I'm sure theyll get refuted... Buh yeah and also check out this website, its got bare info on every aspekt and stuff...
    Everyone goes fru ups and downs, you just gotta find a way of crawling out of it. There was a reason you reverted to tha right path before, find tha reason why you did and try to attain it once more. Also i think knowledge is power, so strive for it and implement it. Good Luck
    Thanx 4 da reply hmm yeh i'll get it sooner or later.... hmm i doubt i'd physically deteriorate if I let her go but thats one thing i guess i'm not gonna give up on just yet, i sound really westernised n stuff i guess its infused my brain but i would want her as my wife
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post
    Salamu Alaykum,

    What you need is to visit the graveyard and look around you, ask yourself and ask Allah why he chose you to be born in a muslim family.

    There are so many non-muslims who are leaving everything for Islam and your asking if Islam is the truth?

    I am working with someone who probably does not have long to live and i asked her last week to forgive me if i have done any wrong whilst in my care.This is a non-muslim. Your a muslim probably hurt the family, friends, so who else is there left for you to hurt about your comments on Islam.

    My family are not muslims and do you know what i worry about them what will happen to them once they leave this world behind.

    You have choice choose the Dunya over Islam or choose Islam over the Dunya????

    "Allah says he will take Islam away from the nation who do not follow it correctly and give it to a nation who will follow it correctly".

    You need to wake up.

    Forgive me for being hard but sometimes its the best policy to be tough.

    Wasalam
    i know from experience being tough dose not work with people who have these problems. they get scared of islam and they run a mile because they feel pressured and feel they have to take a lot on there shoulders. we have to remind them also is that Allah is most merciful and all forgiving and he has the love of as much as 70mothers for us all something that no mother can give. it gradually takes time with patience and care and help, these people can get back on the track again with a little bit of dawah.

    you come by many people like this when doing jamaat(just incase you will ever do inshaAllah)and its our duty to warn them in the most kindness and less judging way as possible and don't be tough with them sister it might be that there is 70 different reasons why they are going through these problems maybe because there parents were not practicing or might have been overly strict and abusive with them as a kid also leaves mental scars and cant be easily healed.
    I have strayed away from Islam

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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza81 View Post
    Please remember me in your dua's and please feel free to ask me ANYTHING you want and I will try my best to always help you as your brother in Islam. Allah Hafiz
    Brother you've written soo much i've had to print it out and i guess it'll serve as a gd nite time read lol, but i'd like to thank you for not only giving me soo much informations, but you've also taken the time to reply. So thanx bro
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by S<Chowdhury View Post
    Thanx 4 da reply hmm yeh i'll get it sooner or later.... hmm i doubt i'd physically deteriorate if I let her go but thats one thing i guess i'm not gonna give up on just yet, i sound really westernised n stuff i guess its infused my brain but i would want her as my wife
    I've always tried to understand people tha tthink this way.. Aside from tha fakt you 'love' her, why wouldn't you wana marry someone that lives their life for one purpose of achieving the same goal as you? Furthermore, don't you think your differences in lifestyles would affect tha upbringing of your children? If I'm not correkt, she prolly goes clubbing and tha rest? Eats what is not halal? etc so would you allow your child to du tha same? I beleive you say your not prakticing, buh du you not even beleive that aspekt of Islam either or do you condone it? & If you want to find tha truth again, wha you guna du then? End it? =S. Or ask her to convert...
    Westernised.. If you wish to label yourself with that then so be it, buh you have largely been influenced by Western values it seems...
    Sorry for bombarding you wit questions, I know someone whus going fru this phase also, and I jsut wanted to kinda get an insight into your thinking =) Maybe I can then kinda to some extent understand their situation instead of playing dead from them. No offence intended.
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    Don't get me wrong. Very respectable people in here take of their time to try to help him. Bro Hamza gave him a very detailed post that I found myself very beneficial and I thank him a lot. But the young bewildered boy just makes little comments and I wonder if he really wants to find the straight path. I think that he needs time for a real introspection to find it in his heart to discover the true joy of being a muslim. I know I sound harsh with him. He shouldn't take a few things in a ludicrous way. Sorry for my straight-forwardness.
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    Arrow Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by bewildred View Post
    Don't get me wrong. Very respectable people in here take of their time to try to help him. Bro Hamza gave him a very detailed post that I found myself very beneficial and I thank him a lot. But the young bewildered boy just makes little comments and I wonder if he really wants to find the straight path. I think that he needs time for a real introspection to find it in his heart to discover the true joy of being a muslim. I know I sound harsh with him. He shouldn't take a few things in a ludicrous way. Sorry for my straight-forwardness.
    My sister Allah looks at our intentions. If we have the right intentions then we will be rewarded accordingly.

    If our intention is to try and help him and others in here then Allah will reward us accordingly and we should only be in here to gain rewards and the pleasure of Allah.

    If anyone is a fake in here then may Allah expose them but we should not have suspicion until we have solid proof otherwise it may just be mere baseless suspicion.

    Next time sis just give what advice you have once or twice and then leave it at that and make dua for them that is the best way.

    I have strayed away from Islam

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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    To be honest, I think tha thread starter should appreciate your concern and make use of all tha advice given. I mean whats tha point of posting his question otherwise?
    Buh I dont think its fair to assume he isn't doing just that. I just feel, if he's saying everything he did in this thread wif honesty, and if he doesnt take heed, then he's only lying to himself. And Bro Hamza & eryone else who took their time and effort to reply are just fulfilling their duty as Muslims. At tha end of tha day, sites like this only offer advice, in reality it is left up to tha person asking tha question ro whatever to implement it or even try to understand it. And if they're not bothered, well its a loss for them to say tha least. Guess it comes down to pure ignorance. Buh I hope he's not one of these people inshAllah, there's too many that knwo right from wrong buh fail to act.
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    Arrow Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    very well said sis and that is why we should give what advice we have to anyone who wants it once or twice then leave it at that and make dua for them.

    May Allah guide us all. Ameen
    I have strayed away from Islam

    How to get through Hardships & trials in life:

    https://www.islamicboard.com/advice-...mp-trials.html

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    https://www.islamicboard.com/manners...d-version.html

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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza81 View Post
    very well said sis and that is why we should give what advice we have to anyone who wants it once or twice then leave it at that and make dua for them.

    May Allah guide us all. Ameen
    Bro Hamza81 i'd like to personally thank you for you contribution again, and rest assured it hasn't fallen under deaf ears, or i wouldn't be here otherwise and it just be a waste of time me even replying back. You've given me over 12 pages to read, and other brothers and sisters have given me advice and which books i should begin to read.
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    can i also just remind other muslims that we should be very cautious of casting doubt or suspicion amongest any muslim and accuse them of being fake because Allah might be so angered by our actions that he might cast us back to disbelief for our cruel intention.

    just ask yourself that imagine if a person start judging you, how would you like it? its not to nice..for example you werent implementing the sunnah in your daily life and people started telling you that you werent a muslim.

    a friend of mine who reverted once wore jeans to a mosque and some sisters just made one harsh comment about it and she never returned again now i was trying my best to persuade her to go again and meet other sisters but her hearts not in it anymore because of that one cruel comment she heard on her back and shes even in two minds now whether to put her kids in an islamic envoironment but thats another topic that i wont get into but my point is just be very cautious of how you treat others because it can and will effect that person. and Allah knows best.
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by bewildred View Post
    Don't get me wrong. Very respectable people in here take of their time to try to help him. Bro Hamza gave him a very detailed post that I found myself very beneficial and I thank him a lot. But the young bewildered boy just makes little comments and I wonder if he really wants to find the straight path. I think that he needs time for a real introspection to find it in his heart to discover the true joy of being a muslim. I know I sound harsh with him. He shouldn't take a few things in a ludicrous way. Sorry for my straight-forwardness.
    Sorry guys for the late reply i left my computer on but i had something to sort out but Like i said before sis you got your right to post what you feel, and trust me its gonna take more than your "straight-forwardness" to push me away, if you feel like I'm a fake and I'm wasting your time let alone all these other respectable people here, I don't know how to prove i'm serious about it? But i wouldn't be sat here on a Sat night if i wasn't serious?
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    Arrow Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by S<Chowdhury View Post
    Bro Hamza81 i'd like to personally thank you for you contribution again, and rest assured it hasn't fallen under deaf ears, or i wouldn't be here otherwise and it just be a waste of time me even replying back. You've given me over 12 pages to read, and other brothers and sisters have given me advice and which books i should begin to read.
    I apologise for giving you so much to read i should have tried to be more concise. I hope it helps because it came from the heart. Allah has given you the ability to come here and recieve this advice for it is his doing so you should thank him.

    Almighty Allah is wanting to guide you towards him brother for we only have one chance in this life which can end at any second. We can only inform you best we can and the rest is upto you but we are always here for you for Muslims are one body and if one part of the body is in pain then we should all feel the pain and try to help in whatever way we can.

    I pray Allah gives you guidance to the straight path and that our advice helps you in the best ways possible. Ameen

    I have strayed away from Islam

    How to get through Hardships & trials in life:

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    How to overcome Waswas (insinuating whispers of shaythan) in Worship:

    https://www.islamicboard.com/advice-...d-worship.html

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    https://www.islamicboard.com/manners...d-version.html

    https://www.islamicboard.com/manners...ser-allah.html
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza81 View Post
    I apologise for giving you so much to read i should have tried to be more concise. I hope it helps because it came from the heart. Allah has given you the ability to come here and recieve this advice for it is his doing so you should thank him.

    Almighty Allah is wanting to guide you towards him brother for we only have one chance in this life which can end at any second. We can only inform you best we can and the rest is upto you but we are always here for you for Muslims are one body and if one part of the body is in pain then we should all feel the pain and try to help in whatever way we can.

    I pray Allah gives you guidance to the straight path and that our advice helps you in the best ways possible. Ameen

    plz dnt apologise, even if u gave me 50 pages i still wuld of read them because since you've spent time gathering the info and posting it.
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by x Muslimah x View Post
    I've always tried to understand people tha tthink this way.. Aside from tha fakt you 'love' her, why wouldn't you wana marry someone that lives their life for one purpose of achieving the same goal as you? Furthermore, don't you think your differences in lifestyles would affect tha upbringing of your children? If I'm not correkt, she prolly goes clubbing and tha rest? Eats what is not halal? etc so would you allow your child to du tha same? I beleive you say your not prakticing, buh du you not even beleive that aspekt of Islam either or do you condone it? & If you want to find tha truth again, wha you guna du then? End it? =S. Or ask her to convert...
    Westernised.. If you wish to label yourself with that then so be it, buh you have largely been influenced by Western values it seems...
    Sorry for bombarding you wit questions, I know someone whus going fru this phase also, and I jsut wanted to kinda get an insight into your thinking =) Maybe I can then kinda to some extent understand their situation instead of playing dead from them. No offence intended.

    I'm not easily offended Sis, so none taken, and its okey i don't mind the questions....

    "wouldn't i want to be with someone with the same goals in life as you? " My goal has always been to become successful, i guess i've been chasing material things but that is because its what's driven me so far in life. But referring to the question i guess we share the same goals, she wants success and other things aswell.

    " Different lifestyles we lead causes confusion when bringing up children"

    This is the main issue, yet I'm still young and children etc hasn't really been the major topic but from what we've discussed so far hmm i know for a fact its a sin not to raise your child as a Muslim if your a Muslim yourself.
    But hypothetically if i did marry her and we had children, hmm i guess i'd teach my children Islam and let them decide when they are old enough if they wish to be fully practising. This is what I'd probably do if i was a practising muslim or not.

    In terms of the alcohol, clubbing, non-halal food....etc, well it mite be different for other people, but my gf doesn't drink.
    The clubbing, she's told me she's been to a few, but whilst we've been together she hasn't but house parties are more of a place she'd rather socialise but i guess its no better than clubbing. In terms of the clubbing and if i'd allow my children to do so I'm not sure i'll have to ask her about that.
    Halal food at home of course its halal for me and she hasn't got a problem with it, meat is meat to her, no difference if its blessed. And well since she's been with me there's no eating of the swine.

    Lastly asking her to convert, I will ask and try to make her see sense in God when I've resolved my own issues, but I've said from the beginning I'm not going to push her into a religion.

    But i guess i'm more lucky than others, she's willing to compromise and give up a few things but then so am I. And well you may term it as a 'phase' but its not just because I'm not married to her legally doesn't mean its not serious nor will it just pass. But then that's my opinion.
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  23. #58
    desert winds's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    Asslam alaikum.
    I am glad u tried to talk to allah, i want to try to get you to understand how allah felt when you did this. Now this is a hadith but dont no details. Imagine your in open land and your horse runs away. U have no other means of travel no communication. How would you feel? Devastated? Let down? Loose hope that ur horse will return. Then it does! Can u imagine the happiness? Unexplainable.
    Thats how allah feels when we turn to him.
    Heres a simple sentence: ya rabbi ighfirli. My god, forgive me.
    Talk to allah again. Keep trying.
    Dont say your drifting away. With my eyes you are coming towards us, towards islam. I want u to do something tomorow for allah. For e.g to please allah i will hug and kiss my parents,
    I will give sadqa to a charity shop(pick a muslim one) i will spend a few moments having a chat with a lonley old women. Now whatever you choose to do, keep it a secret dont boast about it. Inshallah if you do things for allah he will do things for u. And soon he will comfort you.

    Now this chick, i understand u not wanting to marry her. I want you to spend a week without her( i know u can do it, i have special feeling) now. In this week lots of talking to allah, find the meaning of salah, pray. Start off with 1/2 salahs. If u can do 5 great! Go to masjid. Pray with jamaat. When u go masjid give salam to all the brothers.
    Dont overdo it. Just do what u can.
    See how you feel.
    You have done the hard bit, you made the first step. The rest, inshallah will be easy.
    I have strayed away from Islam

    and were all to blame, gone toO far from pride to shame, were trying so hard, were dying in vain, were hopelessly blissful and blind to all we are, we want it all, with no SACRIFICE!!
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  24. #59
    S<Chowdhury's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    *** also i'd like to add there is a misconception about how as parents you can protect your child from everything desi parents especially. My parents were and are still very strict practising Muslims, especially my mother, she's really old school. And to be honest in my personal experience you can be the best parent in the world but unless your with your child 24hrs a day 7 days a week you can't stop it, especially with the internet, fb etc.

    Even with the fear of my parents and there punishments i continued to do the bad things, no matter how hard my father could beat me and my mother screaming at me, this just lead me to despise them even more and rebel harder. With hindsight now i feel obv guilty but when your a teen you need to experiment, well i personally felt that need. The only way my parents could of prevented it was literally overlooking everything they did, my mum actually attempted it in the last bid but she couldn't even manage it, well i couldn't move without 21 Qs but i guess i brought it all on myself but at the time i considered running away from home.

    So what I'm trying to get at is, unless your child is home tutored or they are totally separated from there peers, you cant stop them from experiencing at least some of it, you can hope they say "No" etc but other than that unless you physically cage them in. And I wasn't alone in experiencing things that are seen to be sinful, other muslim bro and sis did so as well. So maybe i can answer the question whether i'd let my children go clubbing, i would defo tell them and advise them not to but if they do then i'm not going to physically stop them.
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  26. #60
    CosmicPathos's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: I have strayed away from Islam

    format_quote Originally Posted by S<Chowdhury View Post
    *** also i'd like to add there is a misconception about how as parents you can protect your child from everything desi parents especially. My parents were and are still very strict practising Muslims, especially my mother, she's really old school. And to be honest in my personal experience you can be the best parent in the world but unless your with your child 24hrs a day 7 days a week you can't stop it, especially with the internet, fb etc.

    Even with the fear of my parents and there punishments i continued to do the bad things, no matter how hard my father could beat me and my mother screaming at me, this just lead me to despise them even more and rebel harder. With hindsight now i feel obv guilty but when your a teen you need to experiment, well i personally felt that need. The only way my parents could of prevented it was literally overlooking everything they did, my mum actually attempted it in the last bid but she couldn't even manage it, well i couldn't move without 21 Qs but i guess i brought it all on myself but at the time i considered running away from home.

    So what I'm trying to get at is, unless your child is home tutored or they are totally separated from there peers, you cant stop them from experiencing at least some of it, you can hope they say "No" etc but other than that unless you physically cage them in. And I wasn't alone in experiencing things that are seen to be sinful, other muslim bro and sis did so as well. So maybe i can answer the question whether i'd let my children go clubbing, i would defo tell them and advise them not to but if they do then i'm not going to physically stop them.
    You have hit a very important point here. Muslims generally think its ok to live in a kaafir society as long as you are practicing your deen. But you just showed it that no matter what a Muslim does, living in a kaafir society WILL HAVE effects on him or his children ..... unless he cages and isolates himself from the society. Muslims must be migrating back to Muslims lands, even if they have to leave good jobs, if they want to protect their faith or their children's. Thats my opinion and I plan to do it as soon as I am done with my education. INshALLAH. Off topic though.
    I have strayed away from Islam

    Help me to escape from this existence
    I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
    I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
    In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
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