Assalamalaikum Br and Sisters
Firstly can I say Jazakallah khair for all your replys
many many thanks your advice and opinions, means v much to me.
Only just seen the reply's today as I'm looking on some information on bi'dah (different story lol)
Looking back now I cant believe how distressed I was and feel v.emabarrased reading it all back! Since then I DID try again with him explaining what my issues were all I got as usual were Oaths and kasams in Gods name that he didnt have a relationship (blah blah all this seems irrelevant now but I will carry on nontheless) with the other girl and only USED her (about which I always got angry about in the past and didnt believe). I since found out that was true. However, I stopped talking to him. Got messages saying how much he did want to marry me etc. and how he will 'change' (other things going on in his life). But have tried my VERY best to keep steadfast, even though sometimes ended up going into conversations with him to explain my feelings.
Last year in Ramadhan exactly, I started praying the Qu'ran in English and learned a lot and always prayed I would carry on seeking knowledge but most importantly implementing it. However I let myself get immersed into worldly affairs again soon after (astagfirullah). Even though I fell in love with Surat ar-Rahman Surat al-kahf etc. I lost my inner jihad obviously
Since all this palaver has been going on Alhamdulillah I've gone back to seeking knowledge and (even before seeing brother Hamza's comments- thanks btw
) switched my phone off for ramadhan (as I realise how weak I actually am). Cannot be contacted by certain people now.
I'm grateful to Allah SWT that somehow I did get the strength to stop and that I didn't have a physical relationship as such. I've read so many times how fornication is forbidden and haraam, I hope Allah SWT will forgive me and keep me on the right path towards Him and towards Jannah.
I'd like to ask Br and Sisters to please pray for me beacause Im not gonna say my feelings have completely been eradicated only when Im reading my books and praying I will forget. However I cannot seem to erase the fact that I care , as he's so adamant he hasn't done a thing wrong. Maybe thats my punishment. Allah knows best.
He also said he was going to send his family over (this is before I left him) Would it be haraam for me to accept? Obviously I still want something halal...actually if it does reach that stage what I will do is perform Istikhara again
what do you think?
Feel very happy I found the board and even though my friends have been great at listening, pillars of support and my rocks, Allah SWT is right we wont find a friend bar Him and should put our trust in no-one except Him (I need to strengthen my memory would LOVE to remember which Surat the sayings I remember came from). May Allah SWT put us all on the CORRECT path towards jannah
Anyway Jazakallah Khair again (for listening)
and hope you have a blessed Ramadhan
Bookmarks