two years ago my wife was involved in a spat with my brother and sister - in - law over a row with my mother. my father had just passed away and i had had an operation after breaking my arm. as she was keeping on arguing with my mother i ordered her to stop and go to her room which she ignored. the situation got worse and many acrid and nasty words were exchanged between them and they are no longer on speaking terms. Now my mother is no longer of this world. she has caused my sisters to stop coming by not showing hospitality to them. i have tried many times to reason with my wife to let go of the past and to forgive as Allah forgives the gravest of all sins and we are mere mortals, but she is adamant that she will not be made to seek forgiveness from my family. whenever i and my children go to visit my own she refuses to go with me. for my part i visit her family as my philosophy is that by refusing to tread the same path as her i may with the help of Allah bring about a change in her attitude and make her realise the injustice she is meting out on me even though at times i have been tempted to give her tit for tat and have said so to her. her reasoning is that come whatever she would rather forsake her own family than visit my own family. also i do not want my children to feel the distress as i want to give them a good example. whenever i try to bring up the subject we inevitably end up having a fight and the situation remains the same afterwards. she does her all her salaats. please advise me what to do as i want to see my brother and sisters come to my house as before when my parents were alive and to help my children grow up in a happy and good family atmosphere.