I have a question related to istikhara. can istikhara be done as many times as we want until we get the desired answer or whatever comes in the first one should be followed?
around nine months back my father got the istikhara done for my proposal by some alim or qaree sahab. the result came in negative. then my father did it himself but he said nothing was clear and he coulnt come up with a decision. and then the third time istikhara was performed by one of my uncles and the result was positive. hence i got engaged to the guy though unwilllingly because i had many doubts in this relatiinships.
but since nine months nothing has gone smoothly well, i dont feel comfortable with this person, i got to know weird things about him like his relations with many girls. he says its just frienship but i doubt. and most importantly i dont feel happy and satisfied in this relationship as i always thought i would. i have talked to my parents about it and want to discontinue the relationship because i beleive that we should have followed the first istikhara only.
please some one help me with this. also i have heard that doing istikhara repeatedly for the same person results in giving wrong results.
Young sister, the answer of dua is not always come in dream, even usually not in dream, but in some events that happen later. As you have told that after you accept that guy as future husband you found that he has relationship with some girls, and you saw his attitude which he denied it and told you that they are just friends. You also start to doubt.
And the most important is, since the beginning you felt doubt to marry this guy.
Now is depend on you. Will you still continue your relationship with him?, or you will leave him and wait for the better guy.
Next time if you need a guidance to make a decision, do salah Istikhara by yourself. And always remember, the 'clues' usually come in events that happen later. You should able to 'read' these clues.
i will say yes its good to do istahara but i see it has been used wrongly and that is most common in south Asian culture. i am not very knowledgeable but i think it a hindu custom that they go to their Pndant ( a sheikh) and they ask whether they will go for marriage or not. same mentality is i think adopted by Muslims on name of istahara. i am sure suhaba RA never have done so many isthara as we r doing now a days and esp for marriage. personally i think we have to see guideline in islam for choosing spouse and took decision on that basis. yes its good if we do istahra also but istahara mean that u ask Allah help in any matter by praying and salutation and its nothing to do with dream. yes some ppl do get some sign by dreams but its not must and 2ndly u can pray istara salat any time, it is not particular with night time. Allah SWT knows the best.
If you have a look at the fatwa sites, they mention that Istikharah can be repeated, with some specifying a number of times and others not specifying it.
I don't understand why a Sheikh or a Qaree Sahab would do an istikharah for you ? Their dua's will not be as sincere as yours. They will not be affected by the decisions, The dua of istikhara is very personal and it should be done by those who will be affected by the outcome. If you are not fully satisfied with this engagement I believe you should do the istikharah yourself, and ask Allah to show you whats best for you, for your deen, your dunya and your ahkirah.
May Allah make things easy for you. Ameen.
"Allâh is sufficient for me. None has the right to be worshiped but He, in Him I put my trust and He is the Lord of the Mighty Throne."[Tawbah: 129]
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