how to be forgiven for swearing on the quran a false lie.. please help

I'm really not in a position to give you an answer to your question.

I can only say that Allah forgives every sin except syirk. So long as you truly repent Allah has said He is Most Forgiving.

My only thought is not about His forgiveness, but of the torment you are facing. How it may affect you and the future of your relationship. It is a big secret to keep.

May you find peace

Assalamu Alaikum

The opinion which is believed to be the most correct is that the person who swears by the Qur'an is obliged to pay Kaffarah(expiation or compensation) in order to be on the safe side.

I am also wondering why your fiancee is so insecure about this issue,Why he is making a big deal about it.Can he swear on Quran about the same?

On the other hand,If your fiancee has pure intentions and clean past,then you need to worry about the after affects which I am afraid mostly proven to be drastic and devastating.Don't start a relationship with a huge lie...

Khayr Insha Allah

Personally I don't see a difference. I don't believe in the Quran it differentiates male end female zina (I may be wrong) but as far as I see it is a false claim.

How are you doing anything differently to what some evil people do, where they hide and lie to get what they want???? The only thing difference that your doing is asking God to forgive you-that is important-but your STILL living by the same lie that you ask God to forgive you for. For example, when we repent to God, we say that we don't wish to do that evil anymore etc. So to repent and still do the same evil is wrong.

There are cases where people have forgiven the other partner, but the issue here is that you used God's name to commit a lie, and now you wish to repent-but still use his name to live a lie. Your partner even though he has commited the same sin-seems to value God more-which is where he didn't believe that you would lie about swearing on the Quran (which I would never do). He believed you, because he thought that you valued God the same-he didn't know that you will lie about it, and believed it.

It is the ways of sinful people to repent and think that repenting to God means having or living the way they wish to live. When repentence is FOR GOD ONLY-where you are to be successful in the hereafter. It is here that you should pull out from the marriage (you don't have to tell him why), as your not asking for God to forgive you, your asking God to support what your lie in this world.

I am sorry for being blunt, but I don't always spend time on forums so its best to get to the point (I have even heard of people who commit affairs and wish to repent to God and live a lie, so they can enjoy their existence in this world). The fact that evil doers, when repenting to God think that they should now be entitled to something that they want (they actually think because I repented to God, that I should have such and such a thing). When you repent, you have to repent sincerely, that what you did was bad.

But it's like stealing-if you are repenting, then you wouldn't keep the stolen goods, you would return them, and if you couldn't if the person died, their next of kin. Here a person cannot say I do sincerely repent but I wish for God to approve of me keeping the house I stole etc. This is part of the guilt of living a lie-and no one can make you feel better about it, as its a lie. There are the examples of good people who wouldn't wish to take such and such a thing from people, they rather die then steal something. Your partner of course is a hypocrite for saying its different with women, regardless of what he has in life, that's his issues (that doesn't mean that he can't choose what he wishes in a potential spouse regardless if he gets or not, which by the sound of it doesn't deserve chaste women). You need to make sure that you don't take things that will lead to punishment in the next world.

So at the end, the commandments of God are not there to allow people to abuse it and think it will support them lying to others and taking what they wouldn't wish to give them. To even go so far to treat God as if he is going to support you on getting what you want from someone untruthfully (the Lord is not there to support you being evil)-then you need to question who you think your Lord is?? As God is just and fair. Remember that this male will not be able to come to your support on the Day of Judgement, and neither will you care of him, so don't dictate your relationship with God on what you prefer to get from someone. So the issue is not about God not willing to forgive-as he is, but by you still willing to live by the same lie that you need to change.

I like to add that this is an opportunity to do what other people are not doing, forsaking something for the sake of God, giving up something for that sake that God be pleased with you. It is no difference in people choosing plenty of money (obtained unlawfully) rather then God. Of course this is no different to people who were persecuted, that their belief in the one God is more important, then anything else, just as the magicians at Pharoah's court who had their hands and feet chopped off and died.

AS also about your potential husband, he had a golden opportunity here and he missed it, now if a person is truly repentful to God and knowing that God is willing to forgive him for have sex unlawfully-why isn't he willing to accept this very thing from another, that he is asking God to accept?? As he also screened for sexually transmitted diseases??? As he should have done and shown you the results, this is sad but important in these times.

No difference to thanking God to helping you when you are ill, that you wished to help another, he could have really showed how much he appreciated God by saying that, my Lord, I am grateful that you have made me feel and make my life better by forgiving me, and I will accept this of someone else and make their lives better just as you made mine. Clearly he is not being God fearing, as he would fear what happens to those who commit sin. Even prostitutes have repented and are going to Paradise.

I think that you may not see it now, but as his treatment of females only suggests that you are well rid of him. I can only go by what you wrote and that is all I need to do.

I hope that you see this has a golden opportunity to really change your life around, and then if Allah wills help you to find someone who does know how to treat relationships with people as a privilege. (Where you will find that evil doers are abusive to people, but would find it difficult to be alone).

Remember Allah and the Day of Judgement much.