I'm very frustrated right now and I need to calm down.....

**Mustafa16** · 08-08-2016

I have autism, and often have meltdowns when stressed out...today, was my first day at school, and our school is using google classroom for all the classes, and I could not create an account, and while my mother was trying to help me, we got into intense arguing in the process.....im very angry, and I also said very nasty sexual things about the teachers (in front of my mother) in order to express my frustration, because I am NOT good with tech AT ALL.......and it was very frustrating......I know I shouldn't have, though....im about to have a meltdown or break something, and keep in mind, I have autism....how do I calm myself down..?

**Huzaifah ibn Adam** · 08-08-2016

When angry: Recite Ta`awwudh (A`oodhu Billaahi Minash Shaytaanir Rajeem). Drink cold water. Make Wudhoo. If standing, sit down. If sitting down, lie down. Good advice when angry: Don't speak. Keep quiet.

For a person to control their anger is very difficult. It takes a lot of effort. But, like most other things, it gets easier and easier the more you do it. Each time you do it, you'll be able to control it a little bit better. It's not usual for a person to learn to control their temper all at once; that would be remarkable. It takes time, and patience, and effort, and perseverance.

**Umm Malik** · 08-08-2016

The best thing to change everything in your life is to ask Allah a lot
I used to have panic attacks and the all says that can't be heal without medication ... and it was so hard but when began channing my life and I began reciting adkar and doing hijamah all of those things get away and alhamdulillah now I am so good since 15 years ago without any medication alhamdulillah
Try to found a good doctor to do hijamah
Make adkar of morning and evening
Try to let a person smile every day even if you can't just help your mother for doing something to make her happy
Try to be in nature a lot of time and it's better if you be with your family
Make istighfar every day even just 100 time
Say aouthu billahi mina shaytani rajim "I seek refuge with Allah from the shaytan Rajeem
After Fajr and Maghreb you must read surat alikhlas and alafalak and annas 3 times and ayatul kurssey and the two last verse of suratu lbakarah chapter nember 2
And bismi lahi ladi la yadurru maa ismihi shayun fi alardi wala fi samae WA huwwa samiou lalim 3 times
Say a lot of time
Rabbe inni massaniya durru WA anta arhamu rahimin
Know that every one can change to the best if he have a good intention and if he strive hard in the way of changing
Allah can change every thing into the best you just have to do your effort and he will help you for sure

**Reader** · 08-09-2016

Try to tell your mother or whoever you are talking to when you feel an outburst coming 'mom/someone else, can I go to my room? I think I need to calm down' and then go to your room, scream or cry or do whatever you can for a while to help you feel better. Then go back and apologize if you said something bad beforehand.

Or if it's already happened just be honest, apologize and try to make it up by helping around the house. Your mom will probably understand autism (alhamdulillah, moms are very forgiving) but doing so anyway will make her feel very happy with you despite what you might say when you feel upset.

I don't have autism or anything but I still get upset a lot. These things work for me, it might work for you too insha allah.

**Eric H** · 08-09-2016

Greetings and peace be with you Mustafa;

It sounds like you are searching for a path to change, you see how destructive your anger is, and you are trying to own the problem, so that is a big plus in your favour. Try not to give yourself the excuse that autism makes you angry, a lot of people without autism get angry too. The world is full of stuff that makes everyone of us angry, I doubt if there is one person in this world who can escape angry situations.

Inside everyone of us are two wolves that are always fighting, one wolf is angry and destructive, the other wolf is kind and caring. The question you should ask is, which wolf wins?

The answer is the wolf you CHOOSE to feed, if you make the choice to feed the kind and caring wolf, it becomes stronger the more you feed it. The angry wolf gets weaker, the more you starve it, you have the choice to become the person you want to be.

Help your mum in the house, try and make up, say sorry, pray and ask for help, we cannot do things on our own.

Just adding to the good advice already given.

Blessings

Eric