Should I go ahead in marrying this brother?

[anonymous]

Asalamualaikum

There is a really good and practising brother who expressed his wish to marry me. he told my father and my father knows he's a really good brother Ma sha Allah. My father has known him for 3 years and told me he would like me to marry this brother because hes very practising and has good manners. I have even seen this brother and I wish him to be my future husband and father of my kids.

But now I'm unsure of what to think. I havent spoken to the brother yet, just seen him from afar. My mother has prayed Istikhara regarding me marrying this brother and she said she felt a really heavy feeling in her heart and that its not khayr for me to marry this brother. she spoke to this brother in the presence of my father regarding the results of the istikhara and how its not khayr in me and him getting married.

Days later this brother contacted my father and told him that he asked a shaykh about this matter and the shaykh said to him that the istikhara prayer should only be performed by the people who the matter concerns them, so only me and the brother should pray the istikhara, not my mum. He told my father that he prayed istikhara and felt its khayr for him to marry me.

I havent prayed istikhara yet, but will soon. my mum is hesitant in me marrying this brother because she felt it not being khayr in marrying him, but he found it khayr in marrying me. Im confused on what to do. Should i go ahead in marrying this brother or should i avoid marrying him due to the feeling my mother had after praying istikhara?

[Umm Malik]

Asalamualaikum

There is a really good and practising brother who expressed his wish to marry me. he told my father and my father knows he's a really good brother Ma sha Allah. My father has known him for 3 years and told me he would like me to marry this brother because hes very practising and has good manners. I have even seen this brother and I wish him to be my future husband and father of my kids.

But now I'm unsure of what to think. I havent spoken to the brother yet, just seen him from afar. My mother has prayed Istikhara regarding me marrying this brother and she said she felt a really heavy feeling in her heart and that its not khayr for me to marry this brother. she spoke to this brother in the presence of my father regarding the results of the istikhara and how its not khayr in me and him getting married.

Days later this brother contacted my father and told him that he asked a shaykh about this matter and the shaykh said to him that the istikhara prayer should only be performed by the people who the matter concerns them, so only me and the brother should pray the istikhara, not my mum. He told my father that he prayed istikhara and felt its khayr for him to marry me.

I havent prayed istikhara yet, but will soon. my mum is hesitant in me marrying this brother because she felt it not being khayr in marrying him, but he found it khayr in marrying me. Im confused on what to do. Should i go ahead in marrying this brother or should i avoid marrying him due to the feeling my mother had after praying istikhara?

Sister .... as the Shaykh saying , you and the brother who want to Marry you should pray it and when you pray istikharah and don't see any logic reason to don't accept him, this means that it may be good for you ...
If not, than Allah will do something to let you know that this is not good for you
Because we don't know what is hidden and you can't say about any one, is not good just by feeling
but if you don't want him and this I think can't happen without reason, than this will be your choice
So pray istikharah and see If this person is good and his morals and his practising in his religion
And let Allah help you
Because in marriage we shouldn't just guessing
We sould ask Allah and ask about the person and trust in Allah
If it good it will be done by Allah's help
If not he will give both of you the better

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

Ukhti, I also believe you should go on the advice of the Shaykh. By all means, istikhara is definitely a recommended and beneficial way of deciding on an important matter you are unsure about, but it shouldn't be relied on alone, and of course you should do it yourself rather than anyone else doing it for you.

If this brother in question is well-known in your community and especially by your father, for his piety and good character, you shouldn't reject such a proposal unless you have *very* sound evidence.

I would say if your family, and most importantly you, are happy with this proposal, and after performing istikhara, you should definitely consider it seriously.

May Allah swt grant you with what is best for you in both deen and dunya. Ameen.

[Zeal]

Pray istikhara yourself and make sure you tell your mum because you also want to please your parents