almost made the worse mistake due to family

i want to make everyone happy my mother and the rest of the family i want to make them proud of me but am so useless at things
i dont work due to mental health problems i have no children but i view my cats as my babies
av never acheved any thing in my life that is worth anything i got to help the rest of the family happy
so i can see the young family members i got to be good or i will not see them
I HAVE TO DO WHAT MY BIGOTED MOTHER WANTS ME TO DO I know she does it out of love but she also does it for herself mostly
my mother is narcissistic and sometimes abusive and at the moment i hardly see her as she makes me feel like poop when av been at her when everyone else is out the room she pic me on things and she uses your feeling to her advantage

My mother thinks am christian i need to hide the fact am Muslim from her until am emotionally able to deal with her
i go and see her once a month and that its sometimes longer than that Its exhausting and makes me feel suicidal but i know that Allah loves me ...almost made the biggest mistake ever i looked at christian stuff when i should have been listen to ALLAH WORDS THE HOLY QURAN am so sorry Allah please forgive me
almost tried to OD tonight but i was able to tell my husband i had the pills he took them away and am now Safe
had to talk about how i really feel and i told him I LOVE NO OTHER THAN ALLAH
Please Allah HELP ME


i feel very unwell been thinking about death where i should think about life and Allah
Sorry am kinda depressed and upset sorry if this dont make sense
I will stay with Allah

tell your husband that you love him too...do not feel deppressed...soon you will get over this trouble...If you do truthfully..Allah will change their minds because of you...without struggle there is no success... Read the story of sahabas when you got time...our hardship are nothing.

That´s right. Stay with Allah and trust that He takes care of you.

there are people who are worse off than we are children and women in refugee camps in the winter freezing temperatures i want to do something dont have much money i can give a little give to the most needy for some reason i need to help them more than just money unsure what i can do
there are people who are in so much pain psychically and mentally for some reason i think am responsible for that
i have a voice and i should shout over the rooftops when people are being abused by some government that shows hate
If they show hate we should show love
Yea i know i sound like a hippy Am 40 and am a Muslim hippy
unsure what am trying to say here i just want you all to love yourself and love others
I dont know many verses in the Quran i dont know things that was said by Mohammad but all i know is love and i know that ALLAH IS LOVE
Its starts with Allah and ends with Allah

sorry am in a weird mood tonight and i should actually go to bed but i feel restless


Thank you for replying to me

my OCD is bad having bad blasphemous thoughts about Allah telling me bad thing about Mohammad , it feel so bad and its hurting my heart my husband says its my own thoughts but there Are voices screaming at me that i am going to hell for following Islam

seeing demon dogs there look so graphic there skin is ripped falling off there body and faces the demons look like that too
look my medication for it ...sometimes they work sometimes they dont

right now i feel scared my husband is playing his x box and am listening to nesheeds trying to keep myself busy unsure how long that will work for

May Allah ease your suffering. For us others it might be difficult to understand what you're going through with this kind of illness.

_E_ said:

my OCD is bad having bad blasphemous thoughts about Allah telling me bad thing about Mohammad , it feel so bad and its hurting my heart my husband says its my own thoughts but there Are voices screaming at me that i am going to hell for following Islam

seeing demon dogs there look so graphic there skin is ripped falling off there body and faces the demons look like that too
look my medication for it ...sometimes they work sometimes they dont

right now i feel scared my husband is playing his x box and am listening to nesheeds trying to keep myself busy unsure how long that will work for

Click to expand...

Sister, I am 100% this is waswass. Shaytaan is trying his utmost best in turning you away from Islam.

What you should do is say Audhu billahi mina Shaytaani rajeem, Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem.

Recite Qur'aan with true conviction, and read the 3 quls, at NIGHT and at MORNING.

Shaytaan may disguise his waswass as your voice.

may Allah help both of us.. Ameen. I am going through similar ones. (Where shaytaan is indirectly trying to make me give up)

What we need to do - READ Quraan - not just read. But with the purpose and intention of UNDERSTANDING and taking it to heart.

I urge you to find a Masjid with sisters you can socialise with. There you can get, In shaa' Allah, psychological help (i.e. being able to tell your mom you are muslim) and spiritual nourishment.

Allahu alam

am unable to go to the mosque ...i am unable to go on my own i have bad anxiety my husband isn't Muslim i know he needs to be a Muslim but because of my health he is my carer i cant look after myself and i have no family to take me as there against me being Muslim
sorry i shouldnt have posted this

please forgive me Allah

he will not let me go to the mosque ...his mother is coming up from England to Scotland to see us ...av not to talk about islam or wear the hijab
dont want to embarrass him ... really feel like hurting myself ...he even dictates when i do that too

...

Try to keep your Hijab on even with your mom there. After all you are a grown up and you can not disobey Allah in obedience to the creation.

Be as polite as possible.

Islamically, you and your husband aren't married, since you became muslim.

may Allah help you. ameen.

he's getting the rotar to ban the site there nothing i can do
sorry ...he says sick of us fighting about it
he in the loo at the moment so i have to post fast
thank you all and may Allah bless you all

All the best to you dear sister. Keep Allah always in your mind.

thank u

_E_ said:

he's getting the rotar to ban the site there nothing i can do
sorry ...he says sick of us fighting about it
he in the loo at the moment so i have to post fast
thank you all and may Allah bless you all

Click to expand...

you can visit this link
www.4everproxy.com
in the address bar in that site type Islamicboard.com


even this site is blocked you can still visit through 4everproxy site.

my sister is on his side all i want to do is love Allahimsad

imsad i really want to hurt myself ...av done no prayers today i know i should do them sorry
there all against this
can Allah take me now please ...

_E_ said:

imsad i really want to hurt myself ...av done no prayers today i know i should do them sorry
there all against this
can Allah take me now please ...

Click to expand...

Whats up sister? Please dont hurt yourself.

Why didnt you do prayers today?

Allah loves you.

i dont know why we had builders in to fix things in the bath room and kichen so i couldnt use the sinks ...then we were fighting and my sister coming to stay over and we had to go food shopping ...am sorry i'll do it now

This sister really worries me.

Am sorry ...dont mean to make you all worry
i have to go to the group tomoorow mental health group he going to make me talk to another pastor a male one
he says what he think ...most likey tell me to follow jesus
but jesus isnt the son of God and there is only one Allah