My mind is complicated - not sure where to start

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

Other than having a family of my own, I feel like I have everything one could want. A house, freedom to practice my religion, close relations with my family, a good paying job and so on. For some reason, I feel as though I'm a robot, metaphorically speaking. I perform the same things over and over everyday. I wake up, go to work, go home, eat sleep and repeat the process the next day. Even on days off, when I have them, I'm usually too mentally and/or physically drained from work to do anything more than a little yard work and relaxing in the house waiting to repeat the entire working process again. I'm in my 30s and it seems the older I get, the worse I feel about this like it's some kind of mental prison. I noticed I want to be alone more and I don't communicate or get involved with my family as much. I'm constantly thinking about many things such as quitting my job and moving away to a quiet rural place in an attempt to "unplug" from the busy and fast paced way of life where I live. I also keep thinking about the past and how life used to be, thinking about the present, thinking about the future, about how we're all getting older and weaker, thinking about the welfare of my parents, my siblings and their kids, and so many other things. Because of all the things I constantly think about, I can't pinpoint what it is that's bringing me down. Naturally, I'm quiet and pretty private about personal things so even when I'm around other people, I tend to keep these things to myself which I imagine can't be too healthy.. I try to keep myself occupied with Islamic books such as stories and seeras of the prophets, reading different hadith, watching videos and so on. The more involved I get, the more down I get because of how I view society around me. Could all these complicated thoughts and emotions really be a result from my job and being overworked?

Assalaamo alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh



Alhamdulillah that your circumstances are good and I understand that is the barakah of religion Islam. When you are attached with religion and the surrounding is good but you feel unsatisfied, then it means the religion demands something more from you. In other words, it indicates that you have not fulfilled your duties to Allah. It is very clear that the duty undone is marriage. Think about the causes (of being single). If the cause is in your hands then you are responsible. If it is not in your hands then you should advise those who are preventing it. You should do it carefully. If your family is religious then you can remind them the Hadeeth in which the Prophet salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam said:"The one who doesn't do nikah is not from us". (Allah knows best the words of Allah's Messenger salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam)

Life is hard, isn't it? There is always something missing.

I guess you have time. Having a family of your own will take away most of that time you spent contemplating those thoughts and makes you direct most of your attention to what is going on around you. A family of your own gives many little opportunities for change whether you like to or not.

After all, we were 'meant' to find a partner for ourselves. So living it alone is very likely to result in feeling some kind of emptiness despite the relative success all around. Having that someone 'special' will no doubt allow you to open up a bit.

All the best.