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  1. #1
    Array Studentofdeed's Avatar
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    I have lost all hope and sanity (OP)


    I'm trying so hard to be a good Muslim. From trying to be a good person to helping others. Yet since i can remember i have been bullied and made fun of since I was young. It doesnt help the fact I do not have the best parents. My controlling mother and my abusive father who my mother doesnt say much to. Whenever I try to stand up for myself...I am instantly known as disrespectful and disobeying Allah. I try to be respectful and I thank them for the things they have done but the insults? The humilation? If I stand for myself, it is seen as talking back.

    Then there was someone who made my life so hell to the point where i actually considered suicide for long while. Only the fear of hellfire kept me from killing myself. Why do I feel like I deserve this? Everyone hates me and puts me down. I made dua against that person and asked for justice, yet despite that they are still walking fine and healthy. I literally feel scared everytime I go to school if I see or run into this person. On top of that I have health issues. I really feel like Allah hates me. Im trying so hard yet I'm suffering more and more. All the sacrifices I made for Allah, all the people i forgive...what was it for? I'm only suffering and hated by Allah. Telling me to have sabr isnt enough. I have had enough being a victim of abuse in my home and in college. The only people who respect me are the religious pious people in the mosque. Yet everytime I spend time in the mosque, my family make fun of me and scold me. Tell me...why should I keep going on...if Allah isnt even giving me justice or love me and allowing my abuser to walk free and me to be humiliated everywhere...why should I not just kill myself and stop existing.
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  2. #21
    Studentofdeed's Avatar
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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

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    Thank you all again. Jazakallah khayran. And I forgive you Ahmed. Dont worry about it.

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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    Dear Studentofdeed,

    I'm so sorry to read of the trauma and distress that you're going through, and, which you have been, for pretty much all of your life; by the sound of it?!!


    I've gone through something very similar to you; my parents have been very controlling and demanding; and they're still trying to be: even though I'm now 58 years old!!

    Well, what I've realised in recent times: especially in the last five years since I've become a Muslim, is, that the best way to cope with IDIOTS in the family is to Pray to Allah (SWT) for Strength, Wisdom, and Guidance!!! Because I'm finding now that my Parents' Nonsense isn't upsetting me anywhere near as much as it used to!!! And in fact: I've pretty much come to accept that my parents are quite Stupid in a lot of ways (probably largely due to their own upbringings!), and that they basically can't help being IDIOTS!!!

    So do you see what I mean?!!

    We must pray very hard to Allah to give us Strength, Wisdom, and Guidance: in everything!!!

    I hope this helps; at least a little bit!!

    Take good care, and all the very best to you.
    Last edited by manofIslam; 3 Weeks Ago at 09:27 PM.
    | Likes Ahmed., Studentofdeed, HisServant, xboxisdead liked this post
    I have lost all hope and sanity

    Allahu Akbar!

  5. #23
    Studentofdeed's Avatar
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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    Part of the reason why I'm suffering is because of my abuser...I know people and you guys are telling me to forgive but forgiveness is for those who are repentant. Not those who insist on oppressing others. You have no idea how many chances I gave this person. Dont emotionally blackmail me because you never been hurt by this person. When someone gaslighting you into losing your mind, ruins your reputation, and literally tricks you...it can drive you crazy and make you question life. I literally feel like my soul has been raped by this person. I have always tried to be reasonable to try to sit down and talk with this person. I tried to be civil but they do not care. This person enjoys harming me...so I'm trying to get away but I keep seeing this person father at the mosque. Their father may not have done anything to me...but seeing their father is still traumatizing because my wounds will not heal because of the constant reminder.

  6. #24
    Ahmed.'s Avatar
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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    Is that person that former girlfriend of yours?, you said your ex is making your life hell right? Well having a girlfriend is haram so why not just take her treatment towards you as a punishment from Allah? Then you can just put it down to your sins and not go through trauma of thinking you've been oppressed

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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    When you are walking on the street and dog is barking at you, do you care to bark in response?

    If someone hit you with a stick, do you want to punish the stick?

  9. #26
    Ahmed.'s Avatar
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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    It's gotta be mind over matter son, if you master this than all your problems can be solved

    This is infact literally true too:

    Everything happens from Allah and all harm and afflictions are justice from Him as a consequence of our sins

    All such 'justice' is really a blessing in disguise as it is a means to getting our sins Purged and saving us from the greater punishment of afterlife

    Look at it that way and pray for blessings on your 'oppressors' because they have played a part in you receiving this blessing!

    From the Quran and our Sunni Aqeeda:

    2:286. Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved. ... .......

    He gives guidance to whoever He wills, and protects them, and keeps them safe from harm, out of His generosity; and He leads astray whoever He wills, and abases them, and afflicts them, out of His justice.
    All of them are subject to His will between either His generosity or His justice.

    http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/misc/tahawi.htm
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  10. #27
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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    Quote Originally Posted by Ahmed. View Post
    It's gotta be mind over matter son, if you master this than all your problems can be solved

    This is infact literally true too:

    Everything happens from Allah and all harm and afflictions are justice from Him as a consequence of our sins

    All such 'justice' is really a blessing in disguise as it is a means to getting our sins Purged and saving us from the greater punishment of afterlife

    Look at it that way and pray for blessings on your 'oppressors' because they have played a part in you receiving this blessing!

    From the Quran and our Sunni Aqeeda:

    2:286. Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved. ... .......

    He gives guidance to whoever He wills, and protects them, and keeps them safe from harm, out of His generosity; and He leads astray whoever He wills, and abases them, and afflicts them, out of His justice.
    All of them are subject to His will between either His generosity or His justice.

    http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/misc/tahawi.htm
    Also look at it that way...the more you are oppressed the more you can take and take of their good deeds in afterlife.

    I think there was an ahadeeth about the most oppressed MAN on Earth and when he saw the reward for the suffering he went through, he cried and said he wished he was MORE OPPRESSED than that so he get EVEN MORE in afterlife. Now I don't remember this ahadeeth, can someone please paste a quote for it?
    | Likes peacefulone liked this post

  11. #28
    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    I have lost all hope and sanity

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    Part of the reason why I'm suffering is because of my abuser...I know people and you guys are telling me to forgive but forgiveness is for those who are repentant. Not those who insist on oppressing others. You have no idea how many chances I gave this person. Dont emotionally blackmail me because you never been hurt by this person. When someone gaslighting you into losing your mind, ruins your reputation, and literally tricks you...it can drive you crazy and make you question life. I literally feel like my soul has been raped by this person. I have always tried to be reasonable to try to sit down and talk with this person. I tried to be civil but they do not care. This person enjoys harming me...so I'm trying to get away but I keep seeing this person father at the mosque. Their father may not have done anything to me...but seeing their father is still traumatizing because my wounds will not heal because of the constant reminder.
    Asslamoalikum brother,
    When you said it feels like that person raped your soul ... it really feels like you are suffering a lot May Allah help you brother.
    We all in our life have some people to whom we look at and it feels like our wounds are getting open again I have too. But brother do you know why they are here in our life ? Because when we look at them we want to cry. Right? That's the point at that time Allah want us to come to Him and to cry as much as we want and just ask Him that " Be with me and Please help me and heal me and let me move on" so why not He will help you brother? He want you to be near Him why don't you think like that?
    People will come and go but Allah will remain.
    Wounds will be filled and gone only Allah will remain just ask Him once to be your side and ease will come towards you, InshAllah
    As Allah says in Qur’an:
    Do not be afraid
    I AM WITH YOU. All hearing and All seeing.[20:46]
    I will remember you in my dua but at the end it's YOU who have to be strong.

    Because
    One who knows the reality of this world is not saddened by that which befalls him in it - Hazrat Ali (r.a)
    May you have a Blessed and Happy life. Ameen
    Last edited by Aaima zahid; 2 Weeks Ago at 01:08 AM.
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  12. #29
    MazharShafiq's Avatar
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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    Allah give you protect and happiness and protect your every bad intentions.ameen.
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    I have lost all hope and sanity


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  14. #30
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    Re: I have lost all hope and sanity

    Your parents have issues if they are making fun of you for going to the mosque. Don't let them get to you. Just ignore it and keep going more. They may find it humourous for whatever odd reason but after you start getting involved more and more they will be quiet and realize its something that matters to you. I have never heard of parents who punish a child for going to the mosque so I doubt that will happen...making fun is just silly but not harmful and you will survive. You should keep attending the mosque and focus on your deen to help you get by these troubling times.
    I really hope you reported the bully at school. School authorities are suppose to be there to protect kids. What is the point of being in charge if the kids you work to protect and teach are suffering? If they don't help you then report your school teachers to the school board in your area. There is always going to be a person who will listen. I think you need to self advocate. You are important and a beneficial to this ummah so don't give up and do anything to harm yourself!
    These are all going to pass...and you will be the winner one day insha Allah.
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