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  1. #1
    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    Second marriage and father permission

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    Asslamoalikum,
    Greetings to all.
    My cousin recently got divorced. And she wants to get married again but her father and step mother is not letting that happen.
    So i want to know that when a girl have to marry first time she needs permission from her father and grandfather but for second married it’s not necessary she wants know Is it okay if she gets married even her father is not agree with the proposal she have... i mean she is afraid that her father will get angry maybe he never talk to her .. Maybe Allah will get angry but the proposal she have will give her chance to meet with her 5 years old daughter.

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    فصيح الياسين's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaima zahid View Post
    Asslamoalikum,
    Greetings to all.
    My cousin recently got divorced. And she wants to get married again but her father and step mother is not letting that happen.
    So i want to know that when a girl have to marry first time she needs permission from her father and grandfather but for second married it’s not necessary she wants know Is it okay if she gets married even her father is not agree with the proposal she have... i mean she is afraid that her father will get angry maybe he never talk to her .. Maybe Allah will get angry but the proposal she have will give her chance to meet with her 5 years old daughter.
    Walaikumasalam
    First its family matter so better they do decide by themselves.

    Secondly she want to marry her old husband or another husband.

    If she wants to marry her old husband. Then its very good thing amd parents must not interfere by keeping them separate
    As in quran
    وبعولتعن أحق بردهن في ذالك أن أرادوا إصلاحا baqrah 228
    Means their ex husbands do have alot of rights than other persons to get remarried

    So her father must let her go.

    Second is hope her first husbadn not gave her three talaqs.

    Third is yes she can go to get married without their permission.

    If she marrying new person still she get married without their permissions.
    But the new husband must have same status or higher than girl's family status

    But its better to make them accept. Because how long girl will be on her father shoulders. And also one day they will die so who will care her. Also human have lust and lust is not bad thing. Bad thing is that fullfilling the lust by wrong methods like adultery.
    So who will be responsible for that.

    I advise that she must contact her father' brother uncle and mother'brothers etc to motivate the acceptance. If that new man is really such reliable as he showing or the old husband who showing such acts of relibility to get married again with that girl.
    Second marriage and father permission

    قال النبي محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم:*الـحياءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الاِيِمَانِ*
    و قال ايضا:*الحياء لاياتى الا بخير
    و قال ايضا:*اذا لم تستحي،فاصنع ما شئت*

  4. #3
    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    Second marriage and father permission

    JazakAllah khair

  5. #4
    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by فصيح الياسين View Post
    Walaikumasalam
    First its family matter so better they do decide by themselves.

    Secondly she want to marry her old husband or another husband.

    If she wants to marry her old husband. Then its very good thing amd parents must not interfere by keeping them separate
    As in quran
    وبعولتعن أحق بردهن في ذالك أن أرادوا إصلاحا baqrah 228
    Means their ex husbands do have alot of rights than other persons to get remarried

    So her father must let her go.

    Second is hope her first husbadn not gave her three talaqs.

    Third is yes she can go to get married without their permission.

    If she marrying new person still she get married without their permissions.
    But the new husband must have same status or higher than girl's family status

    But its better to make them accept. Because how long girl will be on her father shoulders. And also one day they will die so who will care her. Also human have lust and lust is not bad thing. Bad thing is that fullfilling the lust by wrong methods like adultery.
    So who will be responsible for that.

    I advise that she must contact her father' brother uncle and mother'brothers etc to motivate the acceptance. If that new man is really such reliable as he showing or the old husband who showing such acts of relibility to get married again with that girl.
    She is not marrying her old husband but new. Actually she don’t want to get married to a stranger this person she is marrying is a family relative. Her daughter is in custody of her father but not legally. Her father is not supporting her in her daughter matter as well in this marriage proposal. Because the boy is not financially strong.
    And yes she have no brother uncle etc she is the only child.

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    فصيح الياسين's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaima zahid View Post
    She is not marrying her old husband but new. Actually she don’t want to get married to a stranger this person she is marrying is a family relative. Her daughter is in custody of her father but not legally. Her father is not supporting her in her daughter matter as well in this marriage proposal. Because the boy is not financially strong.
    And yes she have no brother uncle etc she is the only child.
    Thats problem now.

    Look if she did nikah without her parents permission it will be valid. Her status is not matching with boy status. Problem will occur when she do marriage and her father file a case to break a marriage because the boy is not in the same status with us. So judge will break the nikkah again and thus she gets the talaq again

    That occurs i mean breakage of nikkah in those states only where islamic law is.

    And from where that girl seem is western countries where this thing not occur

    And another thing. Mostly girl have kid remarried but get broken again due to child from previous husband. Thats why shairah said that after remarrying the girl will be off from children's custody and will be in previous husband custody or husband father's custody

    Also if she insists to keep. Good keep it uo but when girl gets in puberty she will give her back to husband's custody as he will be her supervisor and do things like keep her feed drink and make her marriage. Thats all in shariah process


    Thats why allah never like talaq because of these thing in which husband, wife and children lives get ruined.....
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    Second marriage and father permission

    قال النبي محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم:*الـحياءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الاِيِمَانِ*
    و قال ايضا:*الحياء لاياتى الا بخير
    و قال ايضا:*اذا لم تستحي،فاصنع ما شئت*

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    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    Second marriage and father permission

    JazakAllah khair brother! So should I recommend her to wait maybe she will get a more appropriate proposal in the future that will meet her status and also to let her daughter in the custody of her father and move on ?

  9. #7
    HabibUrrehman's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaima zahid View Post
    Asslamoalikum,
    Greetings to all.
    My cousin recently got divorced. And she wants to get married again but her father and step mother is not letting that happen.
    So i want to know that when a girl have to marry first time she needs permission from her father and grandfather but for second married it’s not necessary she wants know Is it okay if she gets married even her father is not agree with the proposal she have... i mean she is afraid that her father will get angry maybe he never talk to her .. Maybe Allah will get angry but the proposal she have will give her chance to meet with her 5 years old daughter.
    https://islamqa.info/en/answers/7193...s-the-solution

    This article may help answering your question.
    | Likes Aaima zahid liked this post

  10. #8
    فصيح الياسين's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaima zahid View Post
    JazakAllah khair brother! So should I recommend her to wait maybe she will get a more appropriate proposal in the future that will meet her status and also to let her daughter in the custody of her father and move on ?
    May be. May be not.
    Let her pray to get the best. If he is best then no one can stop if allah wants to give her the best.
    If bad then its good that allah saved her from ill fate

    Girl in her father custdoy is not good. Because sharia says first is mother of child before puberty after that grand parents means mother's parents
    | Likes Aaima zahid liked this post
    Second marriage and father permission

    قال النبي محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم:*الـحياءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الاِيِمَانِ*
    و قال ايضا:*الحياء لاياتى الا بخير
    و قال ايضا:*اذا لم تستحي،فاصنع ما شئت*

  11. #9
    Mandy's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaima zahid View Post
    JazakAllah khair brother! So should I recommend her to wait maybe she will get a more appropriate proposal in the future that will meet her status and also to let her daughter in the custody of her father and move on ?
    I am unfortunately not knowledgeable enough to give a good Hadith as a reference. Hopefully someone else from here can.
    But I remember reading that after a divorce, children that have not reached puberty should be the in the custody of the mother After puberty, they should be in the custody of the same sex parent. (except in exceptional situation where it is not possible or not in the child's best interest).

    So your cousin should be her daughter's guardian.


    I do hope her life and that of her children gets better. She probably should talk with her parents to better understand her father's refusal. Parents want the best for their children. So there must be a reason why her father said he did not support her new marriage. She should take a moment and at least try to understand those reasons.

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    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandy View Post
    I am unfortunately not knowledgeable enough to give a good Hadith as a reference. Hopefully someone else from here can.
    But I remember reading that after a divorce, children that have not reached puberty should be the in the custody of the mother After puberty, they should be in the custody of the same sex parent. (except in exceptional situation where it is not possible or not in the child's best interest).

    So your cousin should be her daughter's guardian.


    I do hope her life and that of her children gets better. She probably should talk with her parents to better understand her father's refusal. Parents want the best for their children. So there must be a reason why her father said he did not support her new marriage. She should take a moment and at least try to understand those reasons.
    JazakAllah khair
    The thing is her father lives in Saudia Arabia and she lives in another country with us. Her step mother is looking for proposals but refusing all of them on minor issues. This situation is causing mental stress on her. She is scared to marry a stranger and her parents aren’t considering her perceptive.
    May Allah help her. May both understand each other.
    Last edited by Aaima zahid; 4 Weeks Ago at 11:01 AM.

  14. #11
    MazharShafiq's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    may Allah help her and her child.ameen
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    Second marriage and father permission


  15. #12
    Ahmed.'s Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    This is what you call 'between a rock and a hard place'; on the one hand she risks upsetting the father and estranging relations with him, on the other she risks missing chance to see her 5 year old daughter

    InshAlllah you have enough advice above!
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  16. #13
    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by MazharShafiq View Post
    may Allah help her and her child.ameen
    Ameen JazakAllah khair

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    Saira Khan's Avatar
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    Re: Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaima zahid View Post
    Asslamoalikum,
    Greetings to all.
    My cousin recently got divorced. And she wants to get married again but her father and step mother is not letting that happen.
    So i want to know that when a girl have to marry first time she needs permission from her father and grandfather but for second married it’s not necessary she wants know Is it okay if she gets married even her father is not agree with the proposal she have... i mean she is afraid that her father will get angry maybe he never talk to her .. Maybe Allah will get angry but the proposal she have will give her chance to meet with her 5 years old daughter.
    وعلیکم السلام ورحمتہ اللہ وبرکاتہ

    My dear sister I think your question consists of two perspectives, one is ruling of shariah in that case and the other is psycho-social part. For the ruling of shariah part, you have got enough good points from @فصيح الياسين above. From psycho-social point of view, what you need to do is just give her enough confidence, rest she will manage everything in a better way herself. I guess in societies where you live, such cases get complicated only because of social things which are mostly temporary and fades away with time.
    May Allah SWT make things easy for her Ameen.
    Stay blessed.
    | Likes Aaima zahid liked this post

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    Aaima zahid's Avatar
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    Second marriage and father permission

    Quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    وعلیکم السلام ورحمتہ اللہ وبرکاتہ

    My dear sister I think your question consists of two perspectives, one is ruling of shariah in that case and the other is psycho-social part. For the ruling of shariah part, you have got enough good points from @فصيح الياسين above. From psycho-social point of view, what you need to do is just give her enough confidence, rest she will manage everything in a better way herself. I guess in societies where you live, such cases get complicated only because of social things which are mostly temporary and fades away with time.
    May Allah SWT make things easy for her Ameen.
    Stay blessed.
    Ameen I’ll do my best sister JazakAllah khair


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