× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 3 of 3 visibility 442
  1. #1
    Nitro Zeus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Romania, Bucharest
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,387
    Threads
    355
    Reputation
    831
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    195
    Likes (Received)
    188

    Is this possible?

    Report bad ads?

    Assalamu alaikum,

    Few days ago, after the math exam, I told my mom that I want this to be my last exam in my life, and also I dont want to go to college but directly to work because I'm tired of being too much stressed and to have anxiety and being worried. I just want to have a life with no worries.

    And my mom said "may God forbid that" and I asked her "why" and she says because the more exams I have, the better opportunities I have in life. And I told her "ok mom, I promise that when I will go to college, I will study on time not like now"

    So, in here seems like i'm obligated to go college abd fulfill my covenant.

    My point is: when I was in grade 8, I had a very strong anxiety because of the final exam, and I cried out of fear that time. And because of this, I made up my mind and I dont want to go tovno college but directly to work.

    So, it is possible to break the promise in a halal way? How can I remove the obligation from me without falling into sin?

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    Iceee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    998
    Threads
    73
    Reputation
    4354
    Rep Power
    49
    Likes (Given)
    179
    Likes (Received)
    376

    Re: Is this possible?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Zeus View Post
    I dont want to go to college but directly to work because I'm tired of being too much stressed and to have anxiety and being worried. I just want to have a life with no worries.
    Salaam bro.

    I hope you're doing well.

    Like you, when I attended high school and College, I had anxiety. I stressed and worried during every test and exam.
    I hated school, I didn't like the pressure the youth are put into, that we MUST go to school.

    So like you're thinking, I decided to work. I took a short 2 year program in College which I was the first in my generation to graduate from and went directly to work at a local fast food restaurant called Tim Hortons in Canada.

    The job doesn't pay much but I can work 3-7 days a week, as a lot of co-workers get sick/injured. I've worked full time for 4 years now saving money. I now have more money than any of my co-workers. I pay my family for everything. My father needs gas in his car, I make sure to fill his gas up. Mom needs me to pick groceries for her to cook, I pay. Little siblings needs money for school? I pay for ALL their expenses.

    Brother, our parents are from a generation which believes you must go to school to get a good job, that you must make good money, that you must get married by 30 years old, that we MUST have children. They do not understand mental health as much as our generation does.

    At the end of the day, it's your body your choice. We must respect our parents wishes as Islam requires but my parents are much more happier now that I have money and can pay their expenses. I hope your mother realizes this as well.

    In conclusion, talk to your mother. Look for jobs in your country, in near by countries. Go to work and give it 110% like I do. Make money, and use that money to support your family. Think about school, but don't pressure yourself too much. There's so many youth going into DEBT studying something they hate. Don't do that. I make dua your future is something you are happy and content with. Inshallah everything works out.
    | Likes keiv liked this post

  4. #3
    keiv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    505
    Threads
    11
    Reputation
    3158
    Rep Power
    35
    Likes (Given)
    192
    Likes (Received)
    365

    Re: Is this possible?

    Some of this is off topic but I hope some will benefit from it.

    I think whether you need a degree or not is relative to the type of work you plan on doing. I never went to college and I work in the skilled trades business and alhamdullilah, I do well for myself and have the means to provide for my family comfortably.

    Everyone needs to evaluate their situation and think about what's best for them. If you lack experience in anything at the moment, getting any job is better than having no job. Even if you got a minimum wage job right now, you'd still be making more than if you were to sit at home and do nothing. If you're undecided on a field you want to go into, there is no rush to try and figure it out. There are people who spend years in college only to find out they have no interest in what they're trying to get into and only went to school because of pressure from their families / social environment.

    I was in my late 20s when I got into this line of work and before that, I held many different jobs trying to figure out what worked for me. Take advantage of living with your mom and save as much money as you can so you won't have to worry about being dependent, but will also have money saved up in case of any kind of emergency. Never put yourself in a position where you have to live paycheck to paycheck.

    In terms of promises, don't make promises you know you can't keep. Secondly, this promise you made is a promise you made for yourself. Meaning, you made the promise to go to college, so if you didn't go, it would not effect anyone else (ie. promising to pay someone back money they lent you and not fulfilling it, etc.).


  5. Hide
Hey there! Is this possible? Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Is this possible?
Sign Up

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create