My physical self struggles to bear calamity after calamity

Actually its that crippling fear of Allah that reaches me at weird times & mocking feelings like he mocks at kuffar in Quran

Its all very closely checked by me & belief in this qadr ,that "what if its hell" After all,iys also very frightful.Im aging & ofcourse death is coming near- after shedding tears & long duas,loads of durood,I'm only triggered to sins - everything brings torture,so I seen people without much deen but end good.I want to relax too...I'm about 34,I'm not married I'm having fears of hereafter- the only good thing left is that I visit linkedin and read,post & talks about deen....i have made a little consultancy with a linkedin member and I try to keep optimism....in my heart & for others sufferings, posts pieces from various places,connecting with deen in someway or other.I spend time in learning and sharing my experiences etc.


This is one way how I escape.As I said,people are v beloved to Allah even they don't wear hijab and make bf's -then they are doing little good deeds (no pride,just complain why am I forced to obey and obey when future is so bleak?)and whoa- Support,love& love of God,despite no obedience.This is injustice as I'm gifted with a 1000 dunya trials & a lack deen trials and forced to obey?Then sending me to tortures and bad end feelings,thrown hate & my body starts to shiver because of ALLAH!!!

Why He picks up on every little sin I do for which I always make up to?Not an angel to never sin or always be an cute decent kid

So ain't I crazy that I'm already uptodeen(no kibr please don't misunderstand)and yet I suffer hate and Mockery of God on me as He mocks at Kuffar,for not letting me in a good life - neither Deen nor letting me proceed in dunya.(Just that all chances whether education or wealth,job,marriage)everything gets ruined - And I was promised THIS THAT includes marriage that I think became a source of fitna for me
FROM 21st year to 34 years- no guy that fulfills basic criteria has reached my place...And it used to be for someone known (i knew him from Syria)but then it changed into something that's horrifying.Im tired- why I don't get married?I understand it maybe qadr but so beautiful dreams since 21st year of my life,all these years- I can't believe how evil n ugly this trial seems I've.


My worst decision was my covering head at 15,then worst of decisions in 16th year an Islamic forum that finished me

Duhayma Fitan knocked me down!

Hell..can I give up Hijab for sometime & breathe?Try to be easy?because this isn't how I'm being in the right track even!

P.S:I have tonnes of sacrifices for ALLAH,tonnes of good deeds,tonnes of aiding His Religion,Tonnes of alot - so where did and do they go for which He gave me dreams ?Tonnes , No lies,all this is correct,not telling for riyaa!

Excuse me for my tone!

I'm tired & sick of ever micro second torture...I can't survive without taking high dosage of sleeping pills without my familys knowledge.No one can let go of me unless they let mevi for rehabs.Its all due to fears & 24/7 torment.I can't go out without high dosaged.

I'm done with suicides attempts too in order He saves me from any sort of kufr - 8 times attempts for Him & 2 for my family to be relieved.


I gave Him best of my life's years & love respect ❤? What He gave me!

Azaab!Humiliation!Regardless!Oppression and hopelessness!
No one deserves this kinda life even not mine worst enemy

Assalam Alaikum
Jazakallahu khairan to all for sharing your experiences.

Well,InshaAllah things seem to get in order...I say Shukr to Allah, & keep myself busy...because this torment needs to stop - We are taught Allah doesn't oppresses so this azzaab that's giving me chills must be stopped...Ya Allah,help me!

In not antagonist, this is well only grown more after a decade of my Islamic life- yeah I believe my good dreams are true..InshaAllah as many times they been.

Rest Allah knows the best!

I commit tawbah to Him Who Alone can lift this hardship!

BTW,do read up on "DUHAYMA Fitan".
.open your eyes....this imaan kufr is "Happening"& we see who stayed solid on imaan again & who totally let all be ruined!

Regarding Duhayma Fitan-many Muslim are under its effect - the best of people I have seen and they (Well,it was there on Islamic Awakening forums too) said same ,feared to lose imaan & advising others- I used to advise too,maybe that's why I have seen Allah always my priority because its from Him & His Goodness!

Duhayma is a horrifying trial & it's true- in the Ahadeeth & we all should be aware of the Duhayma Fitan before we lose

P.S:The trial I'm facing is exactl the peak of my trials- seen good dreams that relief me...I'm not kafir- I'm overwhelmed -Thus, it's happening to others too,some even left Religion & others tried hard stlll

Bismillaah,

Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه said:

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

“Be prompt in doing good deeds [ before you are overtaken] by turbulence which would be like a part of the dark night. During a man would be a Believer in the morning and an unbeliever in the evening or he would be a Believer in the evening and an unbeliever in the morning, selling his faith for worldly things.”

Takhreej:

{ Imam Muslim in his Saheeh #169 }

Shaykh Muhammad Naasir ud Deen Al Albaani رحمه اللّه commented:

This Hadeeth is a warning from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to his Ummah about the Fitan (trials), which the minds cannot conceive. Great Trials! “which would be like a part of the dark night”, by which the Muslims will be tried. He would be a Believer in the morning and by evening would become a Kaafir, and vice-versa.

And His صلى الله عليه وسلم saying:

“Hasten to perform deeds”, meaning: good deeds. He صلى الله عليه وسلم is prompting his Ummah (to do good deeds), especially in the times of the later generations which, with the passing of time, are getting closer (to the prophecy). The more the time passes, the more the trials and the more close we get to the Major Signs of the (approaching) Hour ). The Prophet, صلى الله عليه وسلم in this Authentic Hadeeth, is instructing us to hasten to do good deeds before we are overtaken by these trials, i.e. we face them with righteous deeds. So that if these trials come upon us all of a sudden, we can face them armed with our righteous deeds which we had done previously. And that these righteous deeds (by Allaah’s Will) will come in between us and the trials so that we do not fall into these trials which are described as: “which would be like a part of the dark night”.

{ Sharh Saheeh ut Targheeb wa Tarheeb }

** And Allaahعزوجل knows best **

@SoldierAmatUllah

Sister, we have already spoken about this. As long as your opinion of Allah is like this, you're never gonna leave your state. If you think He's torturing you, He will torture you. If you think He's punishing you for every little sin, He will punish you.

If you finally start understanding Quran and Sunnah and change your way of thinking of Allah, things will change. I was tricked by shaytan for short period of time, I was fearing Allah like you. I was thinking that if I make a little, little, little mistake or sin that He's going to give me hardship and it was happening. I say something, I repent but panic and expect the worst to happen and IT HAPPENS.

When I stopped it stopped.

You do a sin? Repent and do your best not to repeat that sin and THAT'S IT! Move on!

Please, let's not talk about this again. It's maybe 3rd time I'm repeating this to you.

Don't forget that Allah is not punishing those who repent!

@Moderator s

Please ban my account.Filled with ignorant crowd,passing fatwas on others situations & conditions without full knowledge of Islamic texts!
Thanks

Assalam Alaikum
Sister, I think you are being so negative. People here trying to give you some genuine advice as per there understanding of your situation. Give yourself some time inshaAllah things will change and you will be able to understand there point of view.
Please don't ban yourself.

You guys don't understand a thing,so anyone would feel going away, not going to get advices for issues that doesn't exist


- I am able to prove it acc.to Islamic texts but don't want the people here upset as very few understand duhayma & give me fatwas acc.to their no knowledge of my situation- the condition that I am in which is now most 2 decades...I have received big gladtidings,by Allah's Fadl & Rahma....Only that I get upset bcz it's 24/7 & I swear I don't want to talk of anything specials I got because people feel upset.

I'm biggest sinner,I have amongst hardest trial,I have received a to me of punishments and I have seen His Rahma,Fadl in tonnes since beginning .Although my place maybe hell but I couldn't help letting know people it's ok to speak outta torture,outta pain,outta constant oppression, out of force,outta trial....its OK as many others maybe in same trials of duhayma fitan so it's ok.There's a hadeeth that talks of a Believer first reaction be not good but he stays in Islam

Sift it with Duhayma,ofcourse I respect Allah much,that's why I would trust Him for good that keeps on coming & why I stand for Him as much as I can.Stop saying things in a negative way- somethings work for someone & it may not be of benefit for me - & vice versa



Please all people here,read on duhayma fitan

Don't want to argue with anyone here.

Thanks

@Sol dieramatullah

You're forgetting that I'm also tested with that. I'm unable to give fatwas, I'm not alim, I'm just sharing with you as always. If I'd tell in public what imaan trials I go through from time to time and obviously coming directly from Allah - people, just by reading would lose imaan.

Your state of mind, currently, is affected by it. Just hear me sister! Change your opinion of Allah and things will be different.

You know what I'm seeing now? Allah destroying means of sinning in front of my eyes and I celebrate.

format_quote Originally Posted by Flos

@Sol dieramatullah

You know what I'm seeing now? Allah destroying means of sinning in front of my eyes and I celebrate.

Exactly how I am feeling now.I am unable to speak much so yeah I am being prevented from sinning by idle talk

Allah,I miss Your Mercies ! ❤

I love ALLAH- for life! Always,FRIENDS ❤

Sister please do understand that after all these suffering if you question Allah's decree you will loose all the reward which you will get from these suffering.
It's ok feel frustrated at some point of life.Every one faces difficulty in their life.But you are wrong here
Please do understand this and believe in this ayah.
"Allah does not burden a soul beyond it can bear it."
Surah baqrah vs 286

I can say I am woman who had phobia to even visit a doc.I rember when I first time visited a dentist around 10 years back I was literally shaking my hands feet turn cold.After 3 days he called me for extraction.I was so scared I started praying tahajjud.It was like getting major surgery.I have always had phobia woth hospital or doctors.I don't know why.Ya for you what's the big deal if I went to a dentist and extracted my tooth.But during those 3 days I couldn't even sleep properly in the night.For others it's not a big deal, for me it was because I had fear which I couldn't control.Same way other's trial might look easier to you but he might be suffering more than you.
After so many years now i am in a position when I visit doc I don't feel scared at all because now I have much more bigger problem to deal with.All those fear vanished and I don't even th8nk about injection or extraction how painful procedure will be. I just go to doctors in search of cure.