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  1. #1
    Array RisingLight's Avatar
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    Leaving Islam,goodbye all.. (OP)


    unfortunately i was a muslim for more than 8 years.8 years i went through pain believing in a lie.Where is the justice that we are taught so much in islam? i want proof that there is justice as i am about to leave this religion.I dont want to be anywhere where i am not welcomed.

    8 years i went through pain to practice in secret,bla bla im not gonna repeat the same story again as i know nobody cares but it took 8 years and 4 years of constant pain and duaa every duaa to finally be able to leave my country and make hijra.Even that after i couldnt take it anymore and i gave up all my rewards,everything just to be able to get out.All my rewards for 8 years of "sabr" i gave up in exchange to get out.And even that it took me 4 years for a process that usually takes 6 months.And now when i finally could go out for Allah,things dont work,i cant even find as a janitor despite being very qualified,nothing works for me,they dont even invite me for interview,and then coronavirus starts and everything is in quarantine,all business closed,nobody hires anymore,so there is no more hope to get hired.The kaafir family im staying will not keep me for long,just two more weeks,what will i do then? I cant go back home as borders are closed,and even ifff even if i do i will keep staying a hidden muslim and no chance to leave again as i dont have anymore money.And the most beautiful thing is,that i asked all muslims online and offline,everybody i could to help me,and nobody cares,they literally didnt care,except a brother here who offered to give me money,which i obviously cant take,and i asked even the leader of islamic youth etc,all sort of pious people.

    Now how im i supposed to feel? after all i have gone through before and after sacrificing a lot for Allah,i am rewarded with this? How is this justice?
    Allah says that whoever fears Allah,He will make him a way out,where is my way own? being homeless on the streets in my way out?
    Dont say this is a test,prophets went through worst things but they could pray,i cant even pray now,ramadan is coming and i wont be able to fast,is this what i get from making duaa everyday to practice islam in peace and to go to hajj...what i want is to do hajj and then i can die,but look what i get instead
    And if this is a punishment,what did i do to be punished so much? i regret all my sins,and i have forgiven everyone,isnt Allah the most merciful? If i can forgive everyone for his sake cant He forgive me after all this time seeing how much i suffer?

    Since the first day i became a muslim i know things would get hard,and they got extremely hard,but I kept going as I belived that my God was merciful and would not abandon his creatures.Now I still think the same.Allah is the most merciful,you are all lucky to have Him as your God.I wish i was one of you,I wish he accepted me as a muslim and my wish to die as a muslim.I wish He didnt abandoned me.Allah is how we think of Him right? I have always thought he would help me,that he would be merciful to me too,after all all i want is to be like you,a practicing muslim,thats all i want,to go to hajj to complete my faith,and then I can die,but seems like He doesnt want that..

    i just wanted to let this out as this will be my last post.I have lost hope.Allah says we should loose hope but I dont know how i can have hope after trying for years,when other muslims have money,success,all they want,and i cant even have what i want,just to pray in peace.This is not justice.I am not welcomed in Islam so i better leave it,its stupid to try when its so obvious im not welcome.Maybe as a nonmuslim He will help me a bit and then i can try again.
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  2. #21
    IslamLife00's Avatar
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    Re: Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

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    I have read some of your posts before. I understand your frustration, but it is not true that Allah abandoned you.
    You wrote it yourself, a brother offered to help - but you refused.
    If you are eligible in Islam to accept charity, don't refuse when another muslim offers to send you money or job or anything that can help you.
    There is no sin by accepting something you are eligible to accept. Nothing happens without His permission, it's Allah offering you help.
    A job may be small pay, the money you will receive maybe small,, but if it's permissible, why did you refuse?
    I live with my non-muslim family as well. Difference is, they allow me practice the deen Alhamdulillah
    It was more challenging when I started, but I put up with it, and learned the deen to help me practice properly and to answer their questions about Islam so they know the truth.
    Also I know it's much worse for me living alone out there as a muslimah, at least now I am among family and the people who knew me before I became a muslimah Alhamdulillah
    Some families take longer to accept that one of them is a muslim. There are reverts who are homeless because their own family is oppressing them, sometimes even violently that they have to leave.
    Don't give up Islam because of what humans have done or not done to you, whether they are muslims or not.
    You don't return to them. You return to Allah. You are not alone, Allah is with you. But if you leave Islam, you lose Him and your akhira. Why would you want that?
    | Likes bint e aisha, eesa the kiwi liked this post
    Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)

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    RisingLight's Avatar
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    Re: Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    Quote Originally Posted by HabibUrrehman View Post
    mu advice to OP, please don’t shy in asking for help. We know you are genuine brother and we will do whatever we can to help and support you. This is beauty of Islam, we are one body and we feel pain if any part of our body is suffering. Please respond back.
    lets know where you are.

    Ma’aSalaam
    Alaikum salam brother....thank you for trying to help me and always sending me supportive messages...you understand me im glad for that,i wont leave Islam in shaa Allah yes its just that i am very hurt and i expected things to be different and i reacted like that....thank you for offering me money again jzk khair but others need it more and I don’t feel good at all taking it,and I don’t have a bank account anyway,im trying for two weeks but it doesn’t work,ill keep trying and maybe make a gofundme for people who have in excess can give....i just need a job here so i can have enough money to get accomodation or an accomodation where i can practice islam in peace while i get a job….i have sent you my qualifications in inbox,but I can do any kind of job I don’t mind....jzk khair again dont worry about me,just make duaa….and im sorry for the negativity all these months


    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    i'm sorry for your circumstances... i truly am.... i'm sorry for my own circumstances and the pain its caused me and my family... i wish it could be better, i really do.
    Then just make duaa please.And I don’t think its lack of knowledge,its exactly cuz of this knowledge that makes me feel hopeless.For example
    “… Thus he whose migration was for Allah and His Messanger, [then] his migration was for Allah and His Messenger; and he whose migration was to achieve some wordly benefit or to take a woman in marriage, his migration was for that which he migrated.”
    I migrated for the sake of Allah,because here if things went well then I would have been independent to practice Islam in peace and also make money to go to hajj,give sadaqa etc and maybe marry later and have a muslim family,you know just do acts of worship,but look what happens to me here,so I feel like it wasn’t accepted or like Allah is angry with me and doesn’t want me to do this.And I know that He is in control of everything,so there is no hope of things changing if He doesn’t want to,and I also cant do anything to make Him love me as I cant do acts of worship that I want to do,if He could just help me a little and make me independent,then I swear I would be different.I know I would cuz everytime I have lived alone I have been completely different cuz I was free to do all acts of worship.All I want is just basic thing,to be independent to be a muslim,my first duaa since I became a muslim was for this,and 8 years on a row I made the same duaa,but look what happens,everything I try fails,I have to rely on kaffirs.Allah knows everything,He knows what im going through and what I need,how im I supposed to feel that He is with me and this is a test? Especially when except you guys here,every other muslim where I am doesn’t even care to help,and I have begged to a lot of them for help,so I feel totally unwanted.
    Sorry for the long reply and as I said before I wont leave Islam in shaa Allah its just that I needed to hear some encouraging words..jzk Khair

    Quote Originally Posted by IslamLife00 View Post
    You wrote it yourself, a brother offered to help - but you refused.
    If you are eligible in Islam to accept charity, don't refuse when another muslim offers to send you money or job or anything that can help you.
    There is no sin by accepting something you are eligible to accept. Nothing happens without His permission, it's Allah offering you help.
    A job may be small pay, the money you will receive maybe small,, but if it's permissible, why did you refuse?
    I refused because the people im relying on wouldn’t leave me without food or water,and even if I don’t find anything soon and be homeless,there are still centers for homeless people to eat,nobody dies from hunger here,but there are many muslims in poor countries who don’t have to eat.It wouldn’t make a difference for me because the money I need to fix the situation are a lot,around 3000,to get driving license and a used car so I can sleep in it and be able to work in factories outside the city,as nobody would give accommodation without a work contract..but for those other muslims that much money would make a lot of difference,so its better for the zakkah to go to them,but I will try to make a gofundme anyway so people who have in excess can give…

  5. #23
    moinudin's Avatar
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    Re: Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    As others have said here, have patience. It is a test from Allah. Think of a doctor who gives you bitter medication knowing that although it tastes terrible it is better for your health. Allah knows what's best for you, even though you might not understand His divine wisdom. He only wants what's best for His servants (us), and sometimes that means testing us. Sometimes He gives us something we don't like but is good for us.

    Hold firm. Keep praying. Find the closest mosque to you that is open at this time. Donate sadqah, feed the poor, both are great ways to purify yourself. Ramadan is around the corner, which has countless blessings. Please don't throw away your faith.

    May Allah guide you to find good Muslims to live with, strengthen your faith. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I'm a recent revert and it saddnes me to hear what sounds like a since birth Muslim not appreciating the blessings of this wonderful religion Allah has gifted you with.
    | Likes Niqabi_girl36 liked this post

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    Re: Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    Quote Originally Posted by RisingLight View Post
    unfortunately i was a muslim for more than 8 years.8 years i went through pain believing in a lie.Where is the justice that we are taught so much in islam? i want proof that there is justice as i am about to leave this religion.I dont want to be anywhere where i am not welcomed.

    8 years i went through pain to practice in secret,bla bla im not gonna repeat the same story again as i know nobody cares but it took 8 years and 4 years of constant pain and duaa every duaa to finally be able to leave my country and make hijra.Even that after i couldnt take it anymore and i gave up all my rewards,everything just to be able to get out.All my rewards for 8 years of "sabr" i gave up in exchange to get out.And even that it took me 4 years for a process that usually takes 6 months.And now when i finally could go out for Allah,things dont work,i cant even find as a janitor despite being very qualified,nothing works for me,they dont even invite me for interview,and then coronavirus starts and everything is in quarantine,all business closed,nobody hires anymore,so there is no more hope to get hired.The kaafir family im staying will not keep me for long,just two more weeks,what will i do then? I cant go back home as borders are closed,and even ifff even if i do i will keep staying a hidden muslim and no chance to leave again as i dont have anymore money.And the most beautiful thing is,that i asked all muslims online and offline,everybody i could to help me,and nobody cares,they literally didnt care,except a brother here who offered to give me money,which i obviously cant take,and i asked even the leader of islamic youth etc,all sort of pious people.

    Now how im i supposed to feel? after all i have gone through before and after sacrificing a lot for Allah,i am rewarded with this? How is this justice?
    Allah says that whoever fears Allah,He will make him a way out,where is my way own? being homeless on the streets in my way out?
    Dont say this is a test,prophets went through worst things but they could pray,i cant even pray now,ramadan is coming and i wont be able to fast,is this what i get from making duaa everyday to practice islam in peace and to go to hajj...what i want is to do hajj and then i can die,but look what i get instead
    And if this is a punishment,what did i do to be punished so much? i regret all my sins,and i have forgiven everyone,isnt Allah the most merciful? If i can forgive everyone for his sake cant He forgive me after all this time seeing how much i suffer?

    Since the first day i became a muslim i know things would get hard,and they got extremely hard,but I kept going as I belived that my God was merciful and would not abandon his creatures.Now I still think the same.Allah is the most merciful,you are all lucky to have Him as your God.I wish i was one of you,I wish he accepted me as a muslim and my wish to die as a muslim.I wish He didnt abandoned me.Allah is how we think of Him right? I have always thought he would help me,that he would be merciful to me too,after all all i want is to be like you,a practicing muslim,thats all i want,to go to hajj to complete my faith,and then I can die,but seems like He doesnt want that..

    i just wanted to let this out as this will be my last post.I have lost hope.Allah says we should loose hope but I dont know how i can have hope after trying for years,when other muslims have money,success,all they want,and i cant even have what i want,just to pray in peace.This is not justice.I am not welcomed in Islam so i better leave it,its stupid to try when its so obvious im not welcome.Maybe as a nonmuslim He will help me a bit and then i can try again.
    Actually maybe I understand your situation. I don't blame you for saying all this . You have been through a lot and any normal person will say just like you did. And in all this you are not at fault but wen, ur fellow Muslims are. It's our fault that we don't help our revert brothers and sisters. We are to be blamed here. I m really sorry!
    Inshaa Allah here everyone will be there to help you. I pray to Allah that he removes all your pains and worries .

    And I also believe that u won't leave islam because u have chosen this religion yourself and that was not for a joke, Right? You my dear brother/sister have a strong faith, stranger than many born Muslims.
    | Likes bint e aisha, Eric H, HabibUrrehman liked this post

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  8. #25
    HabibUrrehman's Avatar
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    Re: Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    Quote Originally Posted by RisingLight View Post
    Alaikum salam brother....thank you for trying to help me and always sending me supportive messages...you understand me im glad for that,i wont leave Islam in shaa Allah yes its just that i am very hurt and i expected things to be different and i reacted like that....thank you for offering me money again jzk khair but others need it more and I don’t feel good at all taking it,and I don’t have a bank account anyway,im trying for two weeks but it doesn’t work,ill keep trying and maybe make a gofundme for people who have in excess can give....i just need a job here so i can have enough money to get accomodation or an accomodation where i can practice islam in peace while i get a job….i have sent you my qualifications in inbox,but I can do any kind of job I don’t mind....jzk khair again dont worry about me,just make duaa….and im sorry for the negativity all these months
    Assalam O Alaikum WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuh Akhi,

    I am so glad to read your message, Alhamdulillah for the blessing of Islam. Stay strong my brother, hold on to patience and prayer as these help to make difficult tests look easy. May be Allah loves you more because when He tests people, that's a sign that He wants them to achieve a higher rank in Jannah and that is also a sign that you may have much stronger faith then any of us.
    It was narrated from Mus’ab bin Sa’d that his father, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas, said:
    “I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him.’
    حَدَّثَنَا يُوسُفُ بْنُ حَمَّادٍ الْمَعْنِيُّ، وَيَحْيَى بْنُ دُرُسْتَ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ مُصْعَبِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، سَعْدِ بْنِ أَبِي وَقَّاصٍ قَالَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَىُّ النَّاسِ أَشَدُّ بَلاَءً قَالَ ‏ "‏ الأَنْبِيَاءُ ثُمَّ الأَمْثَلُ فَالأَمْثَلُ يُبْتَلَى الْعَبْدُ عَلَى حَسَبِ دِينِهِ فَإِنْ كَانَ فِي دِينِهِ صُلْبًا اشْتَدَّ بَلاَؤُهُ وَإِنْ كَانَ فِي دِينِهِ رِقَّةٌ ابْتُلِيَ عَلَى حَسَبِ دِينِهِ فَمَا يَبْرَحُ الْبَلاَءُ بِالْعَبْدِ حَتَّى يَتْرُكَهُ يَمْشِي عَلَى الأَرْضِ وَمَا عَلَيْهِ مِنْ خَطِيئَةٍ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
    Grade: Hasan (Darussalam)
    Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah 4023
    In-book reference: Book 36, Hadith 98
    English translation: Vol. 5, Book 36, Hadith 4023
    https://sunnah.com/ibnmajah/36/98

    Suhaib reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:
    Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.

    حَدَّثَنَا هَدَّابُ بْنُ خَالِدٍ الأَزْدِيُّ، وَشَيْبَانُ بْنُ فَرُّوخَ، جَمِيعًا عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ بْنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ، - وَاللَّفْظُ لِشَيْبَانَ - حَدَّثَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا ثَابِتٌ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي لَيْلَى، عَنْ صُهَيْبٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ عَجَبًا لأَمْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ إِنَّ أَمْرَهُ كُلَّهُ خَيْرٌ وَلَيْسَ ذَاكَ لأَحَدٍ إِلاَّ لِلْمُؤْمِنِ إِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ ضَرَّاءُ صَبَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
    Reference: Sahih Muslim 2999
    In-book reference: Book 55, Hadith 82
    USC-MSA web (English) reference: Book 42, Hadith 7138
    https://sunnah.com/muslim/55/82

    Quran says:
    But as for a human, whenever his Sustainer tries him by His generosity and by letting him enjoy a life of ease, he says, “My Sustainer has been generous towards me”; whereas, whenever He tries him by tightening his means of livelihood, he says, “My Sustainer has disgraced me!” But nay. (Quran 89:15-17)

    One thing is sure that nothing in this life is permanent. Good times will be replaced with bad times, bad times will be replaced with good times, fear will replace tranquility and peace, so on and so forth. Your situation will also change In Sha'a Allah. When companions migrated to Medina, most of them had nothing to live and you are in similar situation. But Allah replaced that within few years. Same companions then ruled the world.

    My advice is to do what is in your control. That is stay patient, hold on to Quran and Sunnah, Seek Allah's help through prayers and supplications. Allah does not burden anyone beyond their capacity and if you are not broken and dead yet then you are underestimating yourself and the power of your faith. Allah knows your value and He is preparing you to get stronger.

    Now I will also share some of the things we discussed through PM's.

    • Our brother has 3 professional certificates in plumbing, cooking and solar panel technic. He also has a bachelor in physiotherapy. He has stated that he is willing to do anything.

    • He is currently in Koblenz, Germany where most of the mosques are from Ahmadiyya and Shia Muslim who has refused to help knowing that he is Sunni Muslim.

    Do we have anyone on this forum who is from Germany and lives closer to Koblenz, Germany?


    Regarding financial help, I don't think $3,000 is too much to ask for. We may actually try to give you more because of all the uncertainty we currently have in job sector due to Coronavirus. I may be wrong, but I think you will need to have a bank account even if you create a go fund me page. So try to open a bank account if possible and share with us any other options which can be utilized to transfer money.

    If anyone else has any advice, please feel free to share. We are a family here and we need to look out for our brother who is in need.

    May Allah make your and all Muslims tests easy in this world and Hereafter. Ameen!
    Ma'aSalaam


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  9. #26
    IslamLife00's Avatar
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    Re: Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    @ HabibUrrehman
    jazakAllah for the info

    @RisingLight

    If you can't open an account, maybe you don't have the minimal balance it needs - you can receive money without it through Moneygram.
    You need valid ID with photo (driving license, passport etc) to pick it up. Name on the ID has to match name of recipient, maybe you need 2 IDs, I don't know.

    Here is the information I found :

    http://global.moneygram.com/

    INTERNETCAFE ZANA - KOBLENZ

    VIKTORIASTR. 6
    KOBLENZ 56068
    2619144919

    Contact them first, find out what you need to provide, to be able to pick up the money.
    If there is no problem, pm someone here your information. Anyone who wants to send you money, can pm that person. InshaAllah help will come

    WesternUnion also has 3 locations there, whichever is easier for you. They don't need bank account as well.
    Last edited by IslamLife00; 3 Days Ago at 01:42 PM. Reason: add
    | Likes HabibUrrehman, bint e aisha liked this post
    Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)

  10. #27
    Assalaam's Avatar
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    Re: Leaving Islam,goodbye all..

    Allah loves you brother, i hope you love him unconditionally too. Let us know about how we can help you and inshaa Allahi khayr.


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