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    Breaks my heart being on muslim matrimonial websites (OP)


    Salaam

    I am on various muslim matrimonial websites.

    It breaks my heart seeing so many women 35+ never married or divorced with so many kids, either way it cant be easy for them or they must be content the way they are.

    Has it been like this for quote some time now or is this an emerging trend and it going to grow to become worse i.e. there will be a massive surge in women hitting 35+ who are not yet married or who are divorced. What will happen in the coming decades, what will happen to the muslim population

    pre 1970's there probably was no concept of delayed marriage or even the idea of divorce in the mainstream.... muslim population was able to grow.

    with the rise of divorces in the muslim community since 2000, the population growth slowed down.

    what will happen in 10, 20, 30 years time...? single women will outnumber single men? population growth will slow down even more?
    Breaks my heart being on muslim matrimonial websites

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  2. #21
    'Abdullah's Avatar
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    Re: Breaks my heart being on muslim matrimonial websites

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    Quote Originally Posted by M.I.A. View Post
    i personally can tell you that for me at least, iv come to the stage where it is not me that wants to hold onto my sins but rather my sins that want to keep hold of me.

    Intelligent is he who suppresses his nafs and works for that which is to come after death, and the weak is he who allows his nafs free reign and continues to build hope in Allah.
    If we keep satisfying our permissible desires (beyond our rights and needs), the nafs will soon become tired of these desires and aspire to other desires which are doubtful until there comes a time when it will eventually desire haraam. We fall into the trap of leaving a desire only for the sake of a new desire. The result is that one’s life becomes a never-ending cycle of new desires and following one’s passions.
    However, the only way to reach spiritual heights and gain closeness to Allah Subhanahu Wa Taa'la is to sacrifice even the permissible desires. One should sacrifice a desire only for the sake of Allah and not for the sake of the nafs in the form of a new desire. Only by sacrificing the permissible desires will the nafs remain under control. Either the nafs controls the person or the person controls the nafs.

    i suppose i await a forgiveness from higher up.

    Sahih International: Have you seen the one who takes as his god his own desire? Then would you be responsible for him? 25:43

    Sahih International: Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah ? Then will you not be reminded? 45:23

    What you described above is the Shirk - submitting oneself to the desires and not to Allah. This is the Shirk which many of us fall into without even knowing it. Desire for a house, then a bigger house, then a new car, then latest model of the car better than my neighbor, spending more money on weddings to show off, etc. Once Nafs gets out of control, it leads one to hell fire, unless one repents and ask Allah for the help.
    nobody changes until they feel the influence of wrongdoing within their lives, at least one would hope thats the lowest we go.
    That's what Quran says ( Interpretation of the meaning of the partial verse 13:11):
    ...Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. And when Allah intends for a people ill, there is no repelling it. And there is not for them besides Him any patron. [Quran 13:11]
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  4. #22
    M.I.A.'s Avatar
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    Re: Breaks my heart being on muslim matrimonial websites

    Quote Originally Posted by 'Abdullah View Post
    What you described above is the Shirk - submitting oneself to the desires and not to Allah. This is the Shirk which many of us fall into without even knowing it. Desire for a house, then a bigger house, then a new car, then latest model of the car better than my neighbor, spending more money on weddings to show off, etc. Once Nafs gets out of control, it leads one to hell fire, unless one repents and ask Allah for the help.
    intent is everything really, i personally see most things as tools.. and it very much depends on how you intend to use them that is defining of character.

    a ten bedroom house is impressive.

    but its even more impressive if 13 people live in it.



    ” Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Raheem
    Qul ‘A’udhu Bi-Rabbil-Falaq
    Min Sharri Ma Khalaq
    Wa Min Sharri Ghasiqin ‘Idha Waqab
    Wa Min Sharri-Naffathati Fil-‘Uqadi
    Wa Min Sharri Hasidin ‘Idha Hasad “

    ” Say : I seek refuge with ( Allah ) the Lord of the daybreak, From the evil of what He has created; And from the evil of the darkening ( night ) as it comes with its darkness; ( or the moon as it sets or goes away ). And from the evil of the witchcrafts when they blow in the knots, And from the evil of the envier when he envies. “


    to be fair we just want tall gates and fences..so nobody has to be inspired.

    i suppose we have come full circle with respect to the thread, most people have enough time to make many life choices..
    being aware of them (the choices we make) is an important part of religion i suppose.
    Last edited by M.I.A.; 1 Week Ago at 07:47 PM.


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