Assalam Alikum,I am currently in college. Raised from a Muslim family with great loving parents alhamdullilah. Towards the beginning of my teenage years I slipped away from Islam but never totally. I always have called myself a Muslim.3 years ago I started a haram relationship with a Christian female although she didn't practice. I went off to college with her and I spent 2 years with her. We got really close and had little to no problems. This was a secret I kept from my parents because I knew both of them would disapprove extremely (rightfully so). Over the summer it would be a struggle to see her since I would have to lie to my parents about what I was doing. Her parents knew about me and loved me.These past 6 months I started to become more religious again, becoming consistent with my 5 daily prayers as well as tahhajud. I read Quran during Ramadan and made dua as much as I could. Because of this, I began to feel doubts about my relationship and the lies I had been telling my parents. She always knew about this problem and how I didn't know this would end or continue. I spoke to her about this and how I was not sure about telling my parents later in the future as well as my worry about our religious differences.We agreed to end it, but I am still so lost and deeply saddened. I prayed tahajjud and plan to pray istikhara as well. After some thought I think it best we part ways. Although, in 2 years, when I InshAllah graduate, I want to reflect upon where I am religiously and marriage wise. If I still have not found anyone/miss her and same with her, I would ask her to convert only if she was serious about it (I know she is somewhat open about this). I would also discuss with my parents about this make and it halal. Despite this, I am still unsure if they would accept due to cultural differences. (Southasian Family).Is this a realistic idea? Am I only thinking this because I miss her extremely? It has been so hard keeping my feelings canned up infront of my family. I resort to praying and making dua as much as I can.May Allah Swt bless you all.
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