Please help me

**shelly** · 12-30-2006

Hello,
I need some advise. I am a non-muslim and have been invited by a muslim friend to attend Eid Al Adha tomorrow. I am very exicited about the invitation and cultural exchange. I have traveled extensively throughout Egypt and I attended Eid Al Adha in Cairo about 10 years ago. I am quite familar with Egyptian culture and customs. My new friend is from Bangladesh. I am ignorant regarding customs from Bangladesh.

I understand gift giving is a huge part of the celebration. I would like to bring a gift for the family, but I do not know what is appropriate. I am also unclear as what I should wear. I want to be culturally sensive, but I do not know what is expected of me.

My fiance' and I are attending together and we need some guidence. We have read all about Eid Al Adha and understand the meaning and significance. We live in San Antonio, TX and the celebration is taking place at the home of our friend here in San Antonio.

I was thinking I would prepare a traditional dish. When I mentioned the idea to my sister she laughed and said that would be like me making tamales and bringing them into the home of a Mexican family. This is something I would never do however I would bring a gift.

Please educate me. I would like to have a wonderful experience and I want the family to know I made an effort to go the extra mile.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance,

Shelly

**- Qatada -** · 12-30-2006

Hey.

Praise be to Allaah.

First of all Eid Mubarak! I hope you have an enjoyable time, and may we all be guided on the straight path towards God, the one who gives us life and death, and to Him we will return to be judged on all that we did.

I think the whole party business depends on which kind of people you're going to be with, depending on if its bengalis from the earlier generation, or the youth of today.

Regarding the food issue, i think you should bring some food which is from your own culture because they'll probably have enough asian food, and giving them a change will make them want it more - because its different. Maybe you could make some dessert, or whatever your good at making.

The gift issue also depends on which group of people your aiming it at. If you're focusing on the youth - then they may actually prefer something modern, hi-tech, because their actually brought up in the same culture as you, however - if you're aiming it at the elders, you may want to bring something which they would find beneficial instead of a simple ornament, because as an asian i think we prefer something practical rather than an ornamentkind of item. I can't really say what specifically because it depends on the interests of the people.. maybe their elders are also upto date with all the trends etc? And this kind of stuff makes a big difference.

Sorry i havn't been much of help, but if i think of something i'll post up inshaa'Allaah (God willing.)

Peace.

**glo** · 12-30-2006

How common is it to give money at Eid? I have heard that some people do.

I am asking, because as a Westerner I would feel slightly uncomfortable giving money - unless it was somebody I knew very well, and I was sure they preferred money over a personal gift.

Thanks.

**x-muslimah91-x** · 12-30-2006

well i think it is quite comon 2 give money at eid well it alwayz has been for me growing up in a pakistani family.anyway if u prefer giving a gift then u should do so...its the thought that counts!

**rubiesand** · 12-30-2006

If you're going to visit someone's family, I'd say it would be nice to bring along a box of chocolates (not liqueurs!) or a nice flower arrangement. If you know there are going to be children there, it's nice to give them a little gift of money, a fiver or something. I wouldn't give money to the adults

It could be inappropriate

but its normal to give a little money to the kids.

**netprince** · 12-30-2006

Originally Posted by rubiesand

If you're going to visit someone's family, I'd say it would be nice to bring along a box of chocolates (not liqueurs!) or a nice flower arrangement. If you know there are going to be children there, it's nice to give them a little gift of money, a fiver or something. I wouldn't give money to the adults

It could be inappropriate

but its normal to give a little money to the kids.

^^^That pretty much sums up what i was going to say.

If theres any indian/pakistani sweet shops in your area then a box of those sweets might be a good gift too.

The only other thing i would add is, i hope you have a great time

**Woodrow** · 12-30-2006

You will find that your presence will be the main gift you bring. For gifts if you bring any some excellent ones will be fresh fruit. Since you are in San Antone, think about Mangos and those nice big Mexican Papayas. Another good fruit would be a few of the Ruby Reds from the valley. Or some genuine fresh tree ripened oranges also from the valley, (The New Mexico ones are good too, even if it is being a traitor to McAllen and Weslaco)