Salamz brothers and sisters I hope your all doing fine.
Well the problem is that I have been with someone for quiet a while and I dont know how to present it to my parents that I want to marry them because they want me to get my degrees and get married after that. I am 20 yrs old by the way and I dont know how long to waite and be patient. Inshallah your advices are really helpfull so please give me decent advices.
Question:
I am in a relationship with a guy who can not make up his mind to get married. I have not yet became a muslim and I will soon We have talked about this being wrong for us to be together and if he was back in XXX, that he would not be able. I feel like wrong is wrong, and even if I hav not yet converted, that should not be the problem. His family wants him to come home, but when does a man have the right to make a choice? Maybe, because I am from the US I don't understand the whole thing about family. When you have a wife or someone to be your wife, is she not your family too?
Please help me to do what is right.
Salaam,
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is true what you have said, that wrong is wrong. In Islam, pre-marriage relationships are not permissible. We believe that adultery is not permissible not only in Islam, but also in all religions of Allah (God). I believe that the gentleman of nationality XXX whom you are seeing is not serious in getting married, because if he were, he would have married you from the very beginning. In Islam, a man must respect the will of his parents, and in some cases he must obey them. You, in your present status, are not a member of his family. When you become his wife, then you are considered to be his family. Yet even then, if a father orders his son to divorce his wife because, for example, she has bad reputation or she is not a good Muslim, he must obey his father. My advice to you is to think seriously in embracing Islam, not for the sake of this man, but for the salvation of your soul and body from Hellfire. I believe by now, you have a good idea what Islam is, putting aside the bad example this gentleman has been setting. Therefor, you should stop seeing this man and you should become Muslim. If his love to you is genuine, he will propose to you. If he doesn’t, then be sure that Allah will not leave you alone, and as He guided you to his religion, He will send you a good Muslim who will cherish you and give you a decent life as a wife not as a mistress. I pray to Allah that He may enlighten your heart with Islam and guide you to make the right choice.
Salamualikum.
I am sowiee to hear about this issue. All i can say is please explain to your parents you like that person and you don't wana act upon a big sin. Tell them you will still study even after marriage.
If your parents still don't listen and want there way then i guess you have to tell that person to tell there parents and maybe the person's parents can come to your house and then maybe your parents might agree. Allah Hu Alim.
But firmly please make it the Islamic way inshallah. Remember once you lost your parents trust then thats it, so make them happy aswel inshallah.
because the prophet Muhammad saws told the young men to marry if they could, if he is in a financial position to marry then he should and by financial position i dont mean all the modern jahiliyyah rubbish of car, house, etc etc but enough to get by on and for a simple nikkah which you can do with everyone chippng in some food as was the sunnah on some occassions.
if they cannot live together because both studying then it is allowable to marry but not move in together yet (but bro you need to be careful if you get what i am saying...).
if what the parents order goes against the speech of rasoolullah saws then they lose out everytime.
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