ok 2 months ago, my friends and i went out for a picnic and one of my friends had bought one of her male friends along, who is a non muslim and happen to be interested in islam. at the picnic i was the only muslim amongst my friends so he came and talked to me because he had some questions about islam. however we didn't get to speak much because we were interrupted alot so at the end of the day we exchanged numbers (wrong move i know) but i really just wanted to help him out. since then, we've spoke on fone twice and we mainly just discussed religon, islam and his family.
but 2 weeks ago i invited him to an islamic dawah fair which he came along to and on the day, he gave me some compliments which he didn't say in a flirty way at all but they were islamically innappropiate. so when i got home that day i decided it would be best if i didn't speak to him anymore. i told him this by text and gave him 1 of my male cousins number if he still needed to talk to someone.. he text me back that day and said he does not understand why i don't want to speak to him anymore all of the sudden and thought this was wierd of me. he also said he prefers talking to me and that i've helped him alot so far.
since that day, his called me twice but i've sort of just ignored them. i feel really bad. i just don't know if i've done the right thing? because i know that he is really interested in islam and that his confused and just needs a friend to talk to (he is also having problems with his family). i keep thinking maybe if i kept talking to him i would be able to help him make a decision about islam.
i know this problem is minor compared to other peoples problems on here but i'm really worked up about this and would appreciate any advice.
Maybe you could ask him out and bring along your brother with you. From there, inshaAllah, they'll be acquainted. But if you don't have a brother, ask your male cousin together with her sister to go along with you.
I think it was best for you to end talking to him because he is a non-Mahram male and like you said it seemed Islamically inapropriate. You made the right decision by giving him another male's phone number so that he can talk to him instead. You did this fisabililah, and insha'allah Ta'ala you will be rewarded for it. Don't be down.
ok 2 months ago, my friends and i went out for a picnic and one of my friends had bought one of her male friends along, who is a non muslim and happen to be interested in islam. at the picnic i was the only muslim amongst my friends so he came and talked to me because he had some questions about islam. however we didn't get to speak much because we were interrupted alot so at the end of the day we exchanged numbers (wrong move i know) but i really just wanted to help him out. (Good)
since then, we've spoke on fone twice and we mainly just discussed religon, islam and his family.
but 2 weeks ago i invited him to an islamic dawah fair which he came along to and on the day, he gave me some compliments which he didn't say in a flirty way at all but they were islamically innappropiate. (right)
so when i got home that day i decided it would be best if i didn't speak to him anymore. (not good)
i told him this by text and gave him 1 of my male cousins number if he still needed to talk to someone.. he text me back that day and said he does not understand why i don't want to speak to him anymore all of the sudden and thought this was wierd of me. he also said he prefers talking to me and that i've helped him alot so far.
since that day, his called me twice but i've sort of just ignored them. i feel really bad. i just don't know if i've done the right thing? because i know that he is really interested in islam and that his confused and just needs a friend to talk to (he is also having problems with his family). i keep thinking maybe if i kept talking to him i would be able to help him make a decision about islam.
i know this problem is minor compared to other peoples problems on here but i'm really worked up about this and would appreciate any advice.
Salaamualaikum sister...
You need to tell him the reason why.
Tell him that if he is only interested with you... then he must first be a real and genuine Muslim; it's not that hard to be one.
If his interest in Islam is genuine... then - give him some islamic literatures or best - the Qur'an.
Tell him, to read it first. Next time you meet him, bring your brother or cousin with you... consider it a Dawa.
like sis naziha said it may be a good idea to introduce him to your cousin first. it must have been hard for him to approach you about islam and it would be difficult to start all over again with someone else.
First mistake was made when u exchanged 'your' number with him instead of giving him number of your cousin or brother to talk to him regarding his interest in islam. So thats done.
But now, you are feeling he is a good man with no wrong or bad intentions which is quite natural to feel for someone who have talked twice or thrice. But do not let it pass ur head. Stay focused to the point - he is interested in islam and so u want to help him. Thats all. I am glad that you did stop talking to him but the approach was not right. Ofcourse he has right to know why all of a sudden you stopped talking. Explain to him that although his pupose that intentions are good, you are not comfortable talkng to him on phone and you cant be friends with him as its not appropriate in islam.
Give him your cousins number. And let them talk on phone whtever they want.
you have definitely done the right thing, islamically you are not allowed to speak to a non mahram so its good that you gave your cousin bros number.
give him some other brothers number so if he is interested he can speak to them.
because shaytaan can tempt people to do wrong so best to be safe
i've dealt with this badly haven't i? i just thought it would be easier if i ended it like this.
i did explain to him briefly why i can't speak to him anymore, but in his texts he was like 'but were not doing anything wrong, were just talking about religon' i didn't want to go into further because i knew he would just question everything.
it must have been hard for him to approach you about islam and it would be difficult to start all over again with someone else.
yeah that's the thing. also you all have to remember he is young. he just turned 17 this june. i think that's one of the reasons he feels comfortable talking to me because were the same age.
anyway thank you for the advice everyone :sunny:. it's helped alot.
i think what i'm going to do is arrange to meet him with my cousin and have them acquainted.
Mashallah, good on you sister for stopping things before they got worse... most people i know would have kept the relationship going and when its too late realise what they have done.
How about introducing him to this website?
He can learn more from you w/out putting urself in an awkward position?
Sis
Explain your reason not to remain in his contact any more. But do help him understanding Islam, either by giving some one else contact or by your own self. If you would tell him y u do not want to talk to him any more he would be more reservered earlier.
Have a nice day
Masalama
Assalam-o-alaikum sis,
The thing which made you realized that you were doing wrong showed you the part.Its really appreciable that yours and his intention was just to teach and learn about islam but the mean was wrong.You did right to introduce him to your cousin male brother and stop talking to him because satan is always in search of this time and ALHUMDULILLAH ALLAH swt had saved you much before.
Present him with Qur'aan and yes the idea suggested by brother to introduce him to this site is also perfect and also remember him in your dua's so that ALLAH swt gives him hidayat
ok 2 months ago, my friends and i went out for a picnic and one of my friends had bought one of her male friends along, who is a non muslim and happen to be interested in islam. at the picnic i was the only muslim amongst my friends so he came and talked to me because he had some questions about islam. however we didn't get to speak much because we were interrupted alot so at the end of the day we exchanged numbers (wrong move i know) but i really just wanted to help him out. since then, we've spoke on fone twice and we mainly just discussed religon, islam and his family.
but 2 weeks ago i invited him to an islamic dawah fair which he came along to and on the day, he gave me some compliments which he didn't say in a flirty way at all but they were islamically innappropiate. so when i got home that day i decided it would be best if i didn't speak to him anymore. i told him this by text and gave him 1 of my male cousins number if he still needed to talk to someone.. he text me back that day and said he does not understand why i don't want to speak to him anymore all of the sudden and thought this was wierd of me. he also said he prefers talking to me and that i've helped him alot so far.
since that day, his called me twice but i've sort of just ignored them. i feel really bad. i just don't know if i've done the right thing? because i know that he is really interested in islam and that his confused and just needs a friend to talk to (he is also having problems with his family). i keep thinking maybe if i kept talking to him i would be able to help him make a decision about islam.
i know this problem is minor compared to other peoples problems on here but i'm really worked up about this and would appreciate any advice.
hola Humairah,
si, you did the right thing... although i think it is kind of cute that he is interested in you he should understand that you feel uncomfortable about his advances and you were only trying to help him understand your religion. at this point there is no use for him to pretend his interest is based in islam rather than in you... giving him your cousin's telephone number was a better idea, but the best idea would have been to give him a scholar's number so that he is removed from your further contact.
it is still cute though if he is a nice boy and decides to become a muslim maybe you should keep your mind open about him should he approach you in an appropriate manner. but i always hope for romantic outcomes
you did the right thing though, you gave him advice about islam... you did not give him permission to hit on you, i am certain he understands this even though it has not been directly said
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sister Humairah,
GREAT IDEA!!!:clever:
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