I'm posting under this account due to the sensitive nature of this post.
I'm seeking advice not for myself but for a sister i know...
Basically this sister got married last month mashAllah and discovered she is expecting a baby earlier this month. At the beginning of the marriage her hubby said to her that he wanted her to become pregnant as soon as possible but now that she is actually pregnant he isnt very pleased, and his parents have spoken to her parents and requested that she has an abortion, astagfiAllah! Obviously this is a horrible position for the sister to be in, only married 4 or 5 weeks.. and i think that if she doesnt have an abortion her hubby would end the marriage. Apparently two scholars have said that the abortion is permissable since her hubby is practically forcing it upon her.......... ???
Quick, convince them both that it is wrong before it actually happens!
Maybe you could speak to the husband and ask him why is he being so fickle in his decisions? Tell him that he can't do this, tell him to feel for a moment how it would feel like for his wife.
I bet if they actually proceeded with the abortion, he would regret it, considering how he changed his mind so fast.
I hope all goes well..
Last edited by Ali.; 12-28-2007 at 01:13 PM.
Should I seek a source of law other than God, when it is He Who has sent down unto you the Book (Qur'an) fully explained? And those whom We have given them the Book know that it has been sent down from the Lord with truth, so be not of those in doubt.
I'm not a scholar... But Islam says that where it comes to harming the mother, abortion is allowed [It should be done before the foetus gains it's life, I don't remember how many days that is, but I think that's about 40 days?]. Here her marriage is at stake. And divorce is one of the acts that Allah dislikes yet has made it permissible. You should take both the divorce and the abortion in hand, and then complete the sum to get an answer. I don't know how in danger her marriage is; or perhaps here I'm making the wrong connection... But there you go.
We should also remember the importance of the husband. But this is a situation of which I have very little knowledge.
But ofcourse, the first thing is to talk to her husband about this and ask for the reasons.
The reason the hubby says he wants an abortion is because it happened too soon and he isnt ready for a baby this soon (even though he asked to start trying for a baby right away).
He has said if she doesnt have an abortion the marriage is over.. now she's thinking she's not sure if she wants to be in the marriage - so is thinking either she aborts and trys to keep the marriage going OR divorces and aborts the baby anyway because she doesn't feel she can have this brothers baby and be a single parent.
How long before the baby has a soul? She's around 7weeks pregnant.
Does anyone have anything to back the 40days when the soul comes up? So i could show them inshaAllah. To be honest, i'm really desperate to try and convince this sis to go ahead with the pregnancy inshaAllah!
May Allah, Suhannahu Wa Ta Aala guide us all to the truth.
i remember my favorite lecturer addressing this in regard to these 2 Ayats:
[17.30] Surely your Lord makes plentiful the means of subsistence for whom He pleases and He straitens (them); surely He is ever Aware of, Seeing, His servants.
[17.31] And do not kill your children for fear of poverty; We give them sustenance and yourselves (too); surely to kill them is a great wrong.
actually, verse 30 i left to show that Suhannahu Wa Ta Aala says that He can provide the sustenance,
and:
[6.151] Say: Come I will recite what your Lord has forbidden to you-- (remember) that you do not associate anything with Him and show kindness to your parents, and do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty-- We provide for you and for them-- and do not draw nigh to indecencies, those of them which are apparent and those which are concealed, and do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden except for the requirements of justice; this He has enjoined you with that you may understand.
again saying that Allah, Suhannahu Wa Ta Aala WILL provide!
this may not be in the same context, but...
[6.140] They are lost indeed who kill their children foolishly without knowledge, and forbid.what Allah has given to them forging a lie against Allah; they have indeed gone astray, and they are not the followers of the right course.
those address this point: The reason the hubby says he wants an abortion is because it happened too soon and he isnt ready for a baby this soon (even though he asked to start trying for a baby right away).
How long before the baby has a soul? She's around 7weeks pregnant.
i don't remember if it's the start of the 4th month, but that's my thinkng
May Allah, Suhannahu Wa Ta Aala guise and strengthen the poor sister and the weak brother and myself and the rest of us as well!
Had the non-believer known of all the Mercy which is in the Hands of Allah, he would not lose hope of entering Paradise, and had the believer known of all the punishment which is present with Allah, he would not consider himself safe from the Hell-Fire http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html
In Bukhari, Vol 4, Hadith # 549, the hadith relates to the phenomenon of the Angel placing the soul in the fetus as per Allah (s.w.t) permission as follows:
Narrated by Abdullah (r.a), Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him ) said:-
“(As regards to your creation), every one of you is collected in the womb of his mother for the first 40 days, and then he becomes a clot for another 40 days, and then a piece of flesh for another 40 days. Then Allah (s.w.t) sends an angel to write 4 words: He writes his deeds, time of his death, means of his livelihood, and whether he will be wretched or blessed (in the Hereafter). Then the soul is breathed into his body. So a man may do deeds characteristic of the people of the (Hell) Fire, so much so that there is only the distance of a cubit between him and it, and then what has been written (by the angel) surpasses; and so he starts doing deeds characteristic of the people of Paradise and enters Paradise. Similarly, a person may do deeds characteristic of the people of Paradise, so much so that there is only the distance of a cubit between him and it, and then what has been written (by the angel) surpasses, and he starts doing deeds of the people of the (Hell) fire and enters the (Hell) Fire.”
I feel for the sister, must be hard for her, subhanallah, it doesnt help that her husband , and his parents are backing this up, she must feel shes alone. this shouldnt happen to anyone. i really dont know what advice to give, but i remember doing an assignment on abortion last year, and one of the perspectives i took was from the islams point of view. and i did read it was was 40 days before the soul had entered the foetus. Im trying to find the source when i found that from but no luck. But the post below, does seem to be the one i would go with.
please try your hardest to encourage her to talk to her husband, and explain to him the reasons to why he shouldn't encourage her to carry out this abortion.
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it makes me sick.
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