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disowned because of career choice :(

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    disowned because of career choice :( (OP)


    I am about to be disowned for my career choice. either that or being severely beaten/killed. I hope it wont go that far. But please be patient and read. I am very muslim. I pray every single day, and never miss prayer. I read the Quran with the family, and on my own. I have given Alms, and donated to mosques. I have helped two people convert. But all of this gets thrown out the window because of what I want to do.

    I was born here in the United States, by Egyptian parents. I am an Arab(Egyptian)-American. Ive lived in Egypt for my KG and Elementry schooling. I am at the end of my senior year. I have decided I want to enlist in the United States Army to be a Medic/Health Care Specialist. Ive introduced them to fellow brothers in the military, and they are nice to them, but, me. I KNOW I want to be in the Military. I think its haram how they can judge me in such a harsh way considering how I live my deen.

    Is this fair what they want to do to me?

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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

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    but there ARE special considerations for a Muslim[as there might be for a Quaker for instance]! and this being a Muslim forum with a Muslim asking for advice then by all means any special Muslim requirements should be taking into consideration.
    Do you mean special considerations as in prayer, fasting, halal foods, etc.? Because all of those are allowed and heeded int he service, considering they have around 13 or so Imams in all four branches.
    your parents are threatening you with bodily harm if you choose this career?
    no, it is not fair at all.
    Yes this is one thing which I really dislike about this whole issue too.
    Joining the US Army in any capacity would be supporting the oppression of Muslims. There is nothing to say that the Army will not renege on the promise to make you a medic and instead make you a "foot soldier".
    First part, Then what is to become of our Fellow muslims blowing up our brothers in Tunis, Algeria, Morocco, Egypt, Iraq, Leabnon, Saudi Arabia, and, Turkey???? Why do we not stand up or say anything about them considering theyve killed more of us??? Part two, its something called a contract, and there are legalities that go into this, they cant and dont do that, considering as I said, I know muslims who do support jobs in the military.
    If you want to be in the medical field, then ask your parents to send you to college to study a medical field. My brother and his wife are both nurses.
    There is the thing, I CAN be in the medical field, but its also that IVe wanted to be in the military. The benifits of joining the US Army FAR outweigh the ones of my joining the Egyptians'.
    People aren't always judging you, they are judging the action you are doing. You want to do something that is disgusting to the minds of most Muslims and yet you want these Muslims to act like it isn't a big deal?
    Yes but my other actions far outweigh this one. 2 converts > career choice that is SUPPORT.
    Maybe you can, but at the very least you will be committing a big sin. Whether what you intend to do is an act of kufr or not, I don't know.
    funny thing is this is where I am getting at. There is no proof in the world that this is a sin at all, it is kinda blasphemous to assume that too.

    And hold on in a few minutes I will post you stories and pictures of what some of the soldiers do over in Iraq and Afghanistan. I doubt these stories ever get to muslims attentiont hat is why my parents are so bent on my choice.




    http://www.islamonline.net/English/N...article5.shtml
    Sheikh Al Qaradawi's ruling. A LOT of people agree with this man on many issues, will they turn thier back on him on this one only, just as my parents have?
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    Forgot to add. My parents never listened to thiers, so that means my parents automatically go to hell, correct? or does god not judge people based on thier merits and not your own judgment on me?

    and no it isnt fair to threaten to kill me!!!!
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    if you have made up your mind and have all the answers, why do you seek approval here?


    disowned because of career choice :(

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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MooRocks75 View Post
    Forgot to add. My parents never listened to thiers, so that means my parents automatically go to hell, correct? or does god not judge people based on thier merits and not your own judgment on me?


    No, it doesn't mean they automatically go to hell, it might be that God will forgive them for not listening to their parents because their good deeds out weight their bad deeds, or because they sincerely repented, or for whatever other reason. But their is no guarantee that Allah will forgive them.

    and no it isnt fair to threaten to kill me!!!!
    Obviously.

    Yes but my other actions far outweigh this one. 2 converts > career choice that is SUPPORT.
    You don't know that! In fact, that is the kind of attitude that could destroy a person! How do you even know that God has accepted any of your deeds? None of us know. You might do doing all these deeds that you think are good, but God is not accepting any of them for whatever reason (they are not sincere for him, your bad deeds are cancelling out all your good ones etc).

    funny thing is this is where I am getting at. There is no proof in the world that this is a sin at all, it is kinda blasphemous to assume that too.
    I am not assuming anything, I gave you the ruling of a highly qualified scholar.

    My honest advice to you is to go speak to a qualified shaykh who you respect, face to face, and discuss this issue with him and ask for his opinion. You can't and won't find a specific answer to your specific situation on the internet.
    Last edited by Malaikah; 02-04-2008 at 02:33 AM.
    disowned because of career choice :(

    wwwislamicboardcom - disowned because of career choice :(
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    if you have made up your mind and have all the answers, why do you seek approval here?
    Because this is still the issue that scares me. If they repented and all, then why do they want to harm me like this??? Because then we would all lose if such a thing happens. I dont want to be a bad guy to my parents, yet I want love not a controlled path, that I know I will regret.

    I havent made up my mind yet although it might sound like it. But You need to listen well to everything I have said.

    This whole thing is taking a big toll on me psychologically, and im starting to do bad in school, I cried yesterday, Im so lost. I swear to you, and I pray daily to ge tthis stuff fixed....
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    YusufNoor,
    You don't get it. You never have and I assume you never will.
    That tends to happen to superior people.
    [MAD]Mean while back on topic[/MAD]
    This kid is in trouble and needs help.
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MooRocks75 View Post
    Because this is still the issue that scares me.
    scares you how?

    If they repented and all, then why do they want to harm me like this???
    repented for what? mere fact that you are here writing this, speaking ill of people who aren't around to defend their position reflects rather poorly on you, rather than them!

    Because then we would all lose if such a thing happens.
    lose what, if what happens?

    I dont want to be a bad guy to my parents,
    seems like you have already made up your mind? I doubt anything, anyone dishes out here that will make you appear less bad or more good to your parents.

    yet I want love not a controlled path, that I know I will regret.
    then go on your self-appointed path!

    I havent made up my mind yet although it might sound like it. But You need to listen well to everything I have said.
    I think what you have said is inconsequential to anyone here!
    This whole thing is taking a big toll on me psychologically,
    seek counseling from a medical professional then!

    and im starting to do bad in school,
    And now making excuses for bad performance?

    I cried yesterday,
    crying like a girl would be severely frowned upon in the army..

    Im so lost.
    Buy a GPS system

    I swear to you, and I pray daily to ge tthis stuff fixed....
    don't swear to me.. what you do for your own soul is your own business.. God is the only judge..

    disowned because of career choice :(

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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MooRocks75 View Post
    Because this is still the issue that scares me. If they repented and all, then why do they want to harm me like this??? Because then we would all lose if such a thing happens. I dont want to be a bad guy to my parents, yet I want love not a controlled path, that I know I will regret.

    I havent made up my mind yet although it might sound like it. But You need to listen well to everything I have said.

    This whole thing is taking a big toll on me psychologically, and im starting to do bad in school, I cried yesterday, Im so lost. I swear to you, and I pray daily to ge tthis stuff fixed....
    You are really between a rock and a hard place.
    Is there a counselor at school that you can talk to?
    Or an understanding teacher?

    You need to sit down and talk to someone.

    You don't need us "Forum Philologists".

    You are at one of the most life changing moments of your life.

    Get some real advise.
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    oh my god..did I make a mistake coming here? it scares me how they want to harm me! and I mean we will lose a lot if it comes to me being disowned or worse. now you are jus tlying! I said I Didnt make up my mind yet. It is something I want to do. if I wanted to I would go sign up now but I havent!

    Im serious you are a heartless human. go seek help from medical counselors? They cant help. And that would look bad on me to go to them. And I wasnt crying like a girl, there are things a man can cry to. There are other things in my life right now, that I havent posted. And it would make no use posting it considering we have people calling them selves muslim here that are making fun of me like this, why the heck are you trying to make me more miserable??? buy a GPS? This is serious! And then you give the standard muslim answer, you are a hypocrite.

    Im staying as long as others can talk to me, this guy is just crazy, he hasnt read anything I posted. An dis quick to assume and point fingers.............
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MooRocks75 View Post
    First part, Then what is to become of our Fellow muslims blowing up our brothers in Tunis, Algeria, Morocco, Egypt, Iraq, Leabnon, Saudi Arabia, and, Turkey???? Why do we not stand up or say anything about them considering theyve killed more of us???
    And how is this relevant to your joining the Army that is actively killing Muslims every single day?
    Part two, its something called a contract, and there are legalities that go into this, they cant and dont do that, considering as I said, I know muslims who do support jobs in the military.
    What about page 2 9(4) of the contract. Notice also the sentence in bold at the bottom of page 1.

    See also http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/joini...cruiter3_2.htm

    "Guaranteed" Jobs. A word about "Guaranteed Jobs." It's important that you understand what a "guaranteed job" is in the military. If you have a "guaranteed job" in your enlistment contract, it does not mean you will get that job, come Hell or high water. There may be reasons, after you enlist, that you can't get the job that your enlistment contract "guarantees." What happens in that case, depends on the situation.
    In general, if you are denied the job in your contract due to something beyond your control (such as the service phased out the job, or downsized the job, or made a mistake and discovered that you don't qualify for the job, or you are denied a security clearance -- not due to giving false information), then you will be given the choice of applying for a discharge, or choosing a new job from a list of available jobs that you qualify for. In this case, the choice is yours (It should be noted that while these situations have been known to happen, they occur rarely).
    On the other hand, if you fail to qualify for the job due to a reason within your control (you fail in training, you get into trouble, or you give false information on your security clearance application and are denied a security clearance), the choice is not yours. The military will decide whether to discharge you (throw you out), or to retain you and retrain you into a job that you qualify for. In this case it's the military's choice.
    Each of the services have different policies/procedures when it comes to "guaranteed jobs." Army. In the Army, an enlisted job is called an "MOS," or "Military Occupation Specialty." The Army is the only service that offers a guaranteed job (MOS) to everyone. The Army has no such thing as an "open" or "undesignated" enlistment. However, the MOS's offered to you, might not be the one(s) you wanted. It depends upon your qualifications and what jobs have current/projected openings. If the job you want is not available, your only choices are to choose a different job, or not enlist. On the negative side, of all of the services, the Army has the worst reputation for working soldiers in jobs that have nothing to do with what their MOS is.

    There is the thing, I CAN be in the medical field, but its also that IVe wanted to be in the military. The benifits of joining the US Army FAR outweigh the ones of my joining the Egyptians'.
    The choice is for you to make, but the decision can have far reaching consequences. To chose the life of this dunya over the akhira is a poor choice indeed.
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MooRocks75 View Post
    oh my god..did I make a mistake coming here? it scares me how they want to harm me! and I mean we will lose a lot if it comes to me being disowned or worse. now you are jus tlying! I said I Didnt make up my mind yet. It is something I want to do. if I wanted to I would go sign up now but I havent!

    Im serious you are a heartless human. go seek help from medical counselors? They cant help. And that would look bad on me to go to them. And I wasnt crying like a girl, there are things a man can cry to. There are other things in my life right now, that I havent posted. And it would make no use posting it considering we have people calling them selves muslim here that are making fun of me like this, why the heck are you trying to make me more miserable??? buy a GPS? This is serious! And then you give the standard muslim answer, you are a hypocrite.

    Im staying as long as others can talk to me, this guy is just crazy, he hasnt read anything I posted. An dis quick to assume and point fingers.............
    Im serious you are a heartless human.

    If you don't want advise, why do you ask for it?

    Sorry, don't answer. Anyone can see I don't care.
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    Also, know that the military may give you a dishonorable discharge and deny you medical treatment for ailments such as PTSD due to "pre-existing psychological conditions."
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    wilberhum, I was asking for advice not harsh criticism from a guy that hasnt read anything I said, and then starts flaming me for it. I have done nothing yet, and Im the one with the problems and you call ME the heartless human? what the hell is wrong with you people?
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MooRocks75 View Post
    wilberhum, I was asking for advice not harsh criticism from a guy that hasnt read anything I said, and then starts flaming me for it. I have done nothing yet, and Im the one with the problems and you call ME the heartless human? what the hell is wrong with you people?
    Harsh criticism? From me? Because I suggest you get real help?
    What the hell is wrong with you?
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MustafaMc View Post
    There is nothing to say that the Army will not renege on the promise to make you a medic and instead make you a "foot soldier".
    i've already given you my opinion - but the above is an important thing to consider also. people are lured by all kinds of promises - what is the guarantee that you will actually be allowed to become a medic?
    you are young and have your whole lifetime ahead of you. don't risk your life/physical or mental scarring etc. for a cause that isn't even your own.
    disowned because of career choice :(

    each man thinks of his own fleas as gazelles
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by MooRocks75 View Post
    oh my god..did I make a mistake coming here?
    Only you are the best judge of that!


    it scares me how they want to harm me!
    is someone is inflicting harm on you, perhaps you should file a police report?

    and I mean we will lose a lot if it comes to me being disowned or worse.
    Sounds really grave.. you should perhaps discuss with your parents why they are making such threats against you?

    now you are jus tlying! I said I Didnt make up my mind yet.
    ? stop being a hypocrite!

    It is something I want to do. if I wanted to I would go sign up now but I havent!
    you seem like a confused teenager! perhaps the army indeed can straighten you out?

    Im serious you are a heartless human. go seek help from medical counselors?
    that is what people do, when they are psychologically upset as you have mentioned in your above post!

    They cant help. And that would look bad on me to go to them.
    How so? does everyone who seeks medical attention when psychologically upset as in your afore mentioned post 'looks bad'

    And I wasnt crying like a girl, there are things a man can cry to.
    Yes .. indeed.. does this seem like the sort of situation that needs this much melodrama?


    There are other things in my life right now, that I havent posted.
    Join the 5.9 billion people who have problems not posted!

    And it would make no use posting it considering we have people calling them selves muslim here that are making fun of me like this, why the heck are you trying to make me more miserable???
    I think you are miserable on your own.. the only way you can be made happy, if some were to come here and give you their blessings to go with your whims , perhaps speak a little badly of your ruthless parents who just don't seem to understand you?.. and so I believe you already have everyone's blessing.. Go join the american army.. knock yourself out!


    buy a GPS? This is serious! And then you give the standard muslim answer, you are a hypocrite.
    Actually that is me being kind.. this isn't the standard answer I'd give to a serious Muslim.. just the ones wasting everyone's time!

    Im staying as long as others can talk to me, this guy is just crazy, he hasnt read anything I posted. An dis quick to assume and point fingers.............
    I am a sister..
    'roo7 te'til akhiwanak ilmoslmeen, mithl ilkhawana' be my guest..

    disowned because of career choice :(

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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by wilberhum View Post
    Harsh criticism? From me? Because I suggest you get real help?
    What the hell is wrong with you?
    Umm... I think he was referring to PurestAmbrosia, not you.

    By the way, MooRocks75, I'm not sure what interests you about being a medic for the army, but if it is because you want to help people hurt at war, why don't you consider working with a humanitarian agency who travel to those countries and help without being attached to the army?
    Last edited by Malaikah; 02-04-2008 at 03:33 AM.
    disowned because of career choice :(

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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    ooooooh that is why you are being harsh to me, you think im going to be killing muslims? matter of fact is no I wont be.

    to every other muslim and non muslim here that has talked to me I really appreciate your help with this. This "sister" is sadly mistaken in her thoughts about me. I dont need nayone to bad mouth my parents, I love them, all I am doing is asking for help and YOU are taking it really personal. May allah forgive you. Assuming something about a brother is haram. Also making up false statements is haram. I am sorry if you may have lost someone in a war, but I am not going to kill anyone. The hting about problems si that you think this is the only one that is haunting me and telling me not to cry about it like this is the ONLY thing.

    I will continue to do as I have been doing. I believe god is a better judge then any of these "muslims" and will ponder on this issue a lot longer than I thought.
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  24. #39
    YusufNoor's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by Malaikah View Post
    Umm... I think he was referring to PurestAmbrosia, not you.

    By the way, MooRocks75, I'm not sure what interests you about being a medic for the army, but if it is because you want to help people hurt at war, why don't you consider working with a humanitarian agency who travel to those countries and help without being attached to the army?
    MooRocks75

    you think im going to be killing muslims? matter of fact is no I wont be
    so to speak, innocent people and innocent Muslims, ABSOLUTELY! that may be why we've lost more vet's to suicide [6000, iirc] than to acts of war [nearing what, 4000]!

    Islam aside, the way the US runs wars is totally SNAFU! read anything about the Civil War and compare how the south treated their army and how the North expended theirs! Korea and Vietnam are examples of not fighting to win, but fighting to obtain political objectives, it's assinine!

    they MAY be what appear to be "success stories", but they arent' ALL success stories! you kill who someone in DC wants you to kill and that is it!

    while i'm not sure EXACTLY what your parents have said or what they meant by what they said, i think that they don't want you to join the US military! for different reasons, i agree with them! NOT with what they MAY be saying to you!

    i want to answer something else you asked but it's so far back i can't scroll to it...

    if you feel really threatened with death, leave your home until you sort this out.

    May allah, Subhannahu Wa Ta' Aala guide you and your parents and the rest of us as well!

    have you tried Istikhara?

    disowned because of career choice :(

    Had the non-believer known of all the Mercy which is in the Hands of Allah, he would not lose hope of entering Paradise, and had the believer known of all the punishment which is present with Allah, he would not consider himself safe from the Hell-Fire
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  26. #40
    MooRocks75's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: disowned because of career choice :(

    How do I make Istikhara? Is this when I pray two raka3at? and mean it?
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