× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 18 of 18
  1. #1
    Zuko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New York
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    867
    Threads
    55
    Reputation
    1475
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    4

    To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Report bad ads?



    I have another problem (don't I always), sorry! but its annoying, and stressful. Some members may remember the whole 'Romeo and Juliet' dilemma I had (Here), and how I ended up losing a friend. Well that friend and I have made up. I know what everyone is probably thinking, but despite our fight, I missed her as a friend. School was boring and dull without her cracking jokes and making me laugh. I've noticed, with the two days we've been talking that she's completely forgotten about her romeo and barely mentions his name. But, the problem is that I talked to my mom about speaking to her again and she said to limit it to salaam only, and to never talk to her more than that. Since we're friends, I can't bear to stop talking to her again... I don't want to disobey my mom, but I'm stuck here... I'd totally appreciate any advice... Thanks for taking the time to read this.

    To be friends, or not to be friends?


  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    baby_muslimah15's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    ~~~Trying to Find my Way in Life~~~
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    594
    Threads
    22
    Reputation
    308
    Rep Power
    90
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Omg I had a situation just like that.....Me and this girl was sooooo tight, but we were bad 4 eachother...So my mom was like u cant talk 2 her dont sit by her or anything...I was soooo sad cuz I really missed talkin to her, we use to make eachother laugh and all that, but then as time went on...I started obeying my ummie and I found a better friend, so InshaAllah my advice 2 you, is if you lose something dear to you..Allah well give u something better in return....Hope this helps....Salaamz
    To be friends, or not to be friends?

    $$baby_muslimah15 $$:happy1:

    "If you want to know what your status is with Allah, then look at what His status is with you. If you want to know what Allah has prepared for you, then look at what you have prepared for Him"

  4. #3
    Zuko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New York
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    867
    Threads
    55
    Reputation
    1475
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    4

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?



    Jazakallah Khair for the reply sis... I think you have a point... maybe I will get a better friend, but the question is, If I leave her, how do I do it, without being too harsh? Thanks again,

    To be friends, or not to be friends?


  5. #4
    TEH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    561
    Threads
    8
    Reputation
    593
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    2

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Ehh, maybe you should tell your mum this, instead of us, see what she says...

    Thats what mums are for...


  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    sapphire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,822
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    10162
    Rep Power
    98
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    1

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    i was in a situation like you...and i just broke it to her straight...and we dont hold grudges...we just get along like people we dont know well but just be polite to...i hope it turns out well for you sis....

  8. #6
    Zuko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New York
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    867
    Threads
    55
    Reputation
    1475
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    4

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by TEH View Post
    Ehh, maybe you should tell your mum this, instead of us, see what she says...

    Thats what mums are for...

    Tell her that we're friends? She's going to kill me!
    To be friends, or not to be friends?


  9. #7
    TEH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    561
    Threads
    8
    Reputation
    593
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    2

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    No, tell her that you would like to be friends with her. Ask her if it would be alright if you got a little closer, and if it seemed to get weird again, then you would just break it off again...


  10. #8
    sapphire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,822
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    10162
    Rep Power
    98
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    1

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aalimah View Post
    Tell her that we're friends? She's going to kill me!

    sis....it will work out better if you tell your mum then if she finds out vice versa...trust me..im speaking from experience....

  11. #9
    Zuko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New York
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    867
    Threads
    55
    Reputation
    1475
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    4

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?



    Its not that easy... She'd start saying how I want to dishonor the family and how I don't belong in it and such... Me and my mom don't get along well... I'm thinking, leaving her would be better (my friend I mean) but I don't know how to... I've never been happier talking to her these last two days and I hate having to leave her again... Wouldn't that make me hypocritical? That first I tell her we're not friends, then we make up, then I break it off again? Anyway, thanks for the replies everyone...

    To be friends, or not to be friends?


  12. Report bad ads?
  13. #10
    sapphire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,822
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    10162
    Rep Power
    98
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    1

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    now your situation just sounds like a copy of mine....

  14. #11
    baby_muslimah15's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    ~~~Trying to Find my Way in Life~~~
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    594
    Threads
    22
    Reputation
    308
    Rep Power
    90
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aalimah View Post


    Its not that easy... She'd start saying how I want to dishonor the family and how I don't belong in it and such... Me and my mom don't get along well... I'm thinking, leaving her would be better (my friend I mean) but I don't know how to... I've never been happier talking to her these last two days and I hate having to leave her again... Wouldn't that make me hypocritical? That first I tell her we're not friends, then we make up, then I break it off again? Anyway, thanks for the replies everyone...

    Well then.....Like I said I was in a situation like this aswell, and I told the gurl, my ummie said I cant hang with u anymore and she was like okay...I well still talk 2 her, but mot as much, it was a thing where it well be all da girls and we well just happened to agree on sumthing or whatever...So just tell your friend(that your mom said u have to break it off) but u well aswayz love her as your sister in Islam(if shes muslim) and ya know..If she starts sayin things like your being hypocritial, then say its not being hypocrital, its just obeying your mom......Salaamz
    To be friends, or not to be friends?

    $$baby_muslimah15 $$:happy1:

    "If you want to know what your status is with Allah, then look at what His status is with you. If you want to know what Allah has prepared for you, then look at what you have prepared for Him"

  15. #12
    *charisma*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    4,872
    Threads
    197
    Reputation
    50216
    Rep Power
    122
    Likes (Given)
    1257
    Likes (Received)
    2921

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Assalamu Alaikum

    Friends are important sis, however your mother should always come first.
    She knows whats best for you and by pleasing your mother you are pleasing Allah.
    You have to ask yourself if hanging out with this girl is going to make you a better muslimah or is she just someone that will take time away from you and from worshipping Allah.

    If you dont want to talk to her, then kind of seclude yourself from her slowly she'll get the message or move apart from you as well and if she asks just tell her the truth.
    Talk to your more about it too inshallah.

    Someone said to me once:
    "If your ever in a situation and you dont know what to do, ask yourself what would the Rasul do in that situation.."

    Fi aman Allah
    w'salaam
    To be friends, or not to be friends?

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

  16. #13
    Zuko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New York
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    867
    Threads
    55
    Reputation
    1475
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    4

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?



    Jazakallah Khair for the advice everyone... I guess I'll ask my other friend for help when talking to her and to back me up... I just hope nothing goes wrong... Insha'allah it won't.... Jazakallah Khair everyone for the advice and sorry about being such a pain...

    To be friends, or not to be friends?


  17. #14
    *charisma*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    4,872
    Threads
    197
    Reputation
    50216
    Rep Power
    122
    Likes (Given)
    1257
    Likes (Received)
    2921

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Assalamu Alaikum

    nah sis u werent a pain at all.. u just asking for guidance
    and u dont need praise us as it is our job to help our brothers and sisters fillah its something that should be expected
    ask whatever u want sis at anytime..no worries inshallah

    love ya for the sake of Allah
    fi aman Allah
    w'salaam
    To be friends, or not to be friends?

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

  18. Report bad ads?
  19. #15
    solid_snake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    258
    Threads
    49
    Reputation
    266
    Rep Power
    93
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    why can't we all just get along?

  20. #16
    Zuko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New York
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    867
    Threads
    55
    Reputation
    1475
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    4

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    ^^^ lol
    To be friends, or not to be friends?


  21. #17
    tofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    nairobi,kenya
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    6
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    5
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    aslm aleykum
    mashaalah

  22. #18
    AnonymousPoster's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    5,732
    Threads
    1233
    Reputation
    1840
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    17

    Re: To be friends, or not to be friends?

    Please forgive me for asking this. I have a very good guy friend. However, not only am I a female, but he is an atheist. I've only recently started being religious and I realize that such a friendship is haraam. He's been a very good friend, so how do I stop being friends with him?

    Also, I live in an apartment very far away from home. I have roommates whom I trust and respect, but they are not Muslim, nor do they follow the rules of Muslim morality. I have no choice but to live with them, but should I distance myself from them? I like them alot and they're fun to be around/they've helped me through difficult times, so I was wondering if it is haraam to be friends with them. Thank you.


  23. Hide
Hey there! To be friends, or not to be friends? Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. To be friends, or not to be friends?
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. What to do about these friends at skl??
    By anonymous in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-09-2012, 03:07 PM
  2. looking for friends
    By cat eyes in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-18-2011, 04:57 PM
  3. Friends, Close Friends, and the Exchange of Advice
    By hidaayah in forum Manners and Purification of the Soul
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-17-2006, 10:52 AM
  4. The example of two friends
    By imdadur in forum Creative Writing & Art
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-05-2006, 02:47 PM
  5. Hello friends
    By Dartmoor in forum Introduce Yourself
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-20-2006, 01:16 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create