Overwhelming waswas and feeling really down

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Aishath

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Assalaamu Alaikum

I don't really know where to begin. I'm gettimg so much waswas and I feel close to tears and I just wanted some help In Shaa Allah. I keep messaging the sheikhs here too and two of them do reply back to me often but I haven't heard back regarding some matters and I feel like I'm disturbing them with the same waswas issues all the time.

Since i got married not a month (or even a week I guess) seems to have gone by where i haven't had doubts about my nikah. I fear that i have somehow committed kufr and that the nikah has become invalid. I have been told by sheikhs many times that this isnt the case but yet i stay awake at night and get this deep fear that on the Day of judgement i may find out that I've been living in sin. I tell myself that Allah is the Most Merciful and that if i fall into an error and not realise it then He will In Shaa Allah forgive me.

It gets much worse though. The number of things that happen in a day that cause me to wonder if I've become kufr is gettimg ridiculous. I might look at a religious book or a Dua and i might make a face and then instantly think I've committed kufr. When i say i make a face, it's not like I stick out my tongue and properly make a face. It's like i might wrinkle my face the way you do when sniffing something or give out a big sigh or something. When i change clothes i get waswas that I am deliberately being provocative etc or being insulting to the Duas that we have pasted around the house.

It gets so difficult. I brush my teeth and i spit into the sink and at that point I get waswas thinking I've just pictured Allah written there and I've spat there. Sometimes it even happens like this and I get paralysed with the fear.

And then we get to the really difficult part for me. I started getting awful thoughts about Allah and His Messenger (pbuh). Whenever I read about our beloved Prophet (pbuh) amd his wives, I get awful awful waswas. I keep getting whispers similar to what the non-believers say regarding this. My body experiences different emotions and even feelings of arousal (May Allah forgive me). I couldn't stop this and it got really really bad. Even when I was at Masjid Nabawi I got all this waswas and i was horrified. I made Dua for Allah to remove this evilness from me. It got to the point where i then started getting waswas that i believed the thoughts. My husband kept telling me i hadnt and he said he was basing this on what i used to tell him at that time. I used to tell him that i was getting these thoughts and that i was scared. Every now and then i would try to read the biography of Prophet Muhammad ( pbuh ) or read a Hadith book. It got really bad.

I then began thinking these thoughts on purpose. I would feel my heart get really really rebellious and Eventually i would get this thought in my head. Alhamdulillah i never said it out loud. Even during salaat. I would be thinking of swear words against Allah and His Messenger (pbuh). I don't even like admitting this. I would feel really rebellious and think these thoughts and then feel really scared. Everyone keeps saying it is waswas but how can it be waswas when i find myself doing it? I wish i didn't yet even as i type this i find my heart wanting to think it and then i do it. Immediately i would say Auoozu Billah. Once when my husband and i had an argument, i walked into the room ad i thought two such thoughts on purpose. At that time it feels like i don't care if i become kufr. I then regretted thinking these and did my salaah. It's like i can't stop it. I would suddenly remember the thoughts and i would think it like 5-6 times and then be scared.

I get so much waswas about my nikah. At times i feel like giving up and just telling my husband to divorce me so i no longer have this concern about its validity. I feel like I'm committing zina sometimes. May Allah forgive me. (And with regards to my previous post about my marriage troubles, it is Alhamdulillah much better today as we sat down and talked out a lot of the big issues and he apologised for the wrong he had done and so did i)

Please help me. What's happening to me? I do pray. I try to do nafl salaat. I know i dont do enough (or much) Dhikr at all. In Shaa Allah I'll work on this more. Have i become kufr brothers and sisters?
 
You ought to see somebody. That you could talk to, face to face.

You just have a wild imagination. Neurotic. You probably need valium (kidding).

Accept that it is your test, then I just read an article 'how to get through hardship...' might help slightly.

That is Syaitan whispering and messing around with you, you have to resist. Read Ayatul kursi, the Quls, regularly. When those thoughts come in think something else. Perhaps have a conversation with Allah and beseech Him and ask of Him "Ya Allah!. . . (proceed with your dua).

And istighfar.. lots.

:peace:
 
Walaikumasalaam sister.

I hope you are well today and in a good state of mind. Am sure every single Muslim will be able to relate to negative thoughts regarding our actions, questioning ourselves whether we are truly praying correctly, questioning the sincerity of our actions and so on. If we didn't question ourselves, we could be feeding our ego or we could suffer from arrogance.

I don't know if this will help you but, every time you get these negative thoughts, try and put it at the back of your mind. Don't feed these thoughts by more thoughts. You could do this by focusing on the task you're doing, reciting Quraan or even listening to Quraan. I personally, find listening to Quraan very soothing and the recitations calms me down quickly. It doesn't have to be a religious activity, just try and stop actively/consciously thinking if that makes sense.

Please have a read of the below article. You're not the first to ask about waswas and am sure you won't be the last. We are all affected by the shayatan's whispering (depending on our religious levels). Even the companions of the Prophet SAW were affected (please read below).

Allah knows best.


25778: Disturbed by Waswaas (Whispers From the Shaytaan) and Evil Thoughts

[FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]
[/FONT]When I do Salah (formal prayers) or intend to do good deeds I often get very evil thoughts in my mind. When I concentrate in Salah, and try to focus on the meaning of the words, evil thoughts enter my mind, which make evil suggestions about everything including Allah.

I feel very frustrated and angry about this. I know that none forgives sins except Allah alone, but because of my thoughts I feel that there is nothing worse than to have evil thoughts about Allah. After Salah I ask Allah's forgiveness, but feel very bad because I want to stop these evil thoughts, but I can't stop them. These thoughts spoil my enjoyment of Salah, and also make me feel as though I am doomed. Please advise me.
[FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]
Praise be to Allaah.

Evil whispers during prayer and at other times come from the Shaytaan, who is keen to misguide the Muslim and deprive him of good and keep it far away from him. One of the Sahaabah complained to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about waswaas during prayer, and he said: [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]“The Shaytaan comes between me and my prayers and my recitation, confusing me therein.”[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light] The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]“That is a devil called Khanzab. If he affects you seek refuge in Allah from him and spit drily to your left three times.” [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]He [the Sahaabi] said, I did that and Allaah took him away from me.

(Narrated by Muslim, 2203)

Proper focus (khushoo’) is the essence of prayer. [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Prayer without proper focus is like a body without a soul.[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]

The following are two of the things that help one to develop the proper focus:

[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]1 –[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light] Striving to think about what you are saying and doing, pondering the meanings of the Qur’aan, dhikr (words of remembrance) and du’aa’s (supplications) that you are reciting; bearing in mind that you are conversing with Allaah as if you can see Him. For when the worshipper stands to pray, he is speaking to his Lord, and ihsaan means worshipping Allaah as if you are seeing Him, and knowing that even though you cannot see Him, He sees you. Every time a person experiences the sweetness of prayer, he will be more inclined to do it. This depends of the strength of one's faith – and there are many means of strengthening one’s faith. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Of the things of your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me, and my joy is in prayer.” According to another hadeeth he said, “Let us relax, O Bilal, with prayer,” and he did not say, Give us a break from it.

[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]2 – [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Striving to ward off the things that may distract you during prayer, namely thinking about things that are irrelevant or distracting. Waswaas affects each person differently, because waswaas has to do with a person’s level of doubts and desires and the degree to which a person is attached to other things or is fearing other things.

(From Majmoo’ Fataawa Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, 22/605)

[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]With regard to what you say about the waswaas reaching such a great level that you have begun to experience waswaas that makes you think about Allaah in ways that are not appropriate, these are evil whispers from the Shaytaan. [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]“And if an evil whisper from Shaytaan (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad) (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allaah. Verily, He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower”[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]

[Fussilat 41:36]

[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Some of the Sahaabah complained about the waswaas that was bothering them. Some of the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said to him, ‘We find in ourselves thoughts that are too terrible to speak of.’ He said, ‘Are you really having such thoughts?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘That is a clear sign of faith.’” [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light](Narrated by Muslim). (Narrated by Muslim, 132 from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah).

Al-Nawawi said in his commentary on this hadeeth (narration): “The Prophet’s words, ‘That is a clear sign of faith’ means, the fact that think of this waswaas as something terrible is a clear sign of faith, for if you dare not utter it and you are so afraid of it and of speaking of it, let alone believing it, this is the sign of one who has achieved perfect faith and who is free of doubt.”

And it was said that what it means is that the Shaytaan only whispers to those whom he despairs of tempting, because he is unable to tempt them. As for the kaafir (non-Muslim), he can approach him in any manner he wants and is not restricted to waswaas, rather he can play with him however he wants. Based on this, what the hadeeth means is that the cause of waswaas is pure faith, or that waswaas is a sign of pure faith. See also question no. 12315

The fact that you hate that and your heart recoils from it is a clear sign of faith. Waswaas happens to everyone who turns to Allaah by reciting dhikr etc. It is inevitable, but you have to be steadfast and patient, and persevere with your dhikr and prayer, and not give up, because in this way you will ward off the plot of the Shaytaan. “Ever feeble indeed is the plot of Shaytaan” [al-Nisa’ 4:76 – interpretation of the meaning]. Every time a person wants to turn to Allaah, waswaas brings other matters to mind. The Shaytaan is like a bandit: every time a person wants to move towards Allaah, he wants to block the way. Hence when it was said to one of the salaf that the Jews and Christians say, “We do not experience waswaas,” he said, “They are speaking the truth, for what would the Shaytaan do with a house in ruins?”

(From Fataawa Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, 22/608).

[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]The remedy: [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]

1 – If you feel that you are being affected by this waswaas, say, “[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Aamantu Billaahi wa Rasoolihi [/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light](I believe in Allaah and His Messenger).” It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Shaytaan comes to one of you and says, ‘Who created you?’ And he says ‘Allaah.’ Then the Shaytaan says, ‘Who created Allaah?’ If that happens to any one of you, let him say, Aamantu Billaahi wa Rusulihi (I believe in Allaah and His Messenger). Then that will go away from him.”
(Narrated by Ahmad, 25671; classed as hasan (sound)by al-Albaani in al-Saheehah, 116).

2 – Try to stop thinking about that as much as possible, and keep busy with things that will distract you from it.
Finally we advise you to keep on turning to Allaah in all situations, and to ask Him for help, and to beseech Him, and to ask Him to make you steadfast until death, and to cause you to die doing righteous deeds… And Allaah knows best.

SOURCE: http://islamqa.info/en/25778

[/FONT]
 
Assalamoalaikum sister in Islam I know someone who suffered from Same waswasa as you.Onnce you read my message then do let me know I ll answer you and Insha'Allah things will get fine
 
I understand a little of what you going through. Please contact a psychologist as soon as possible inshallah. There is medication that helps inshallah.

I also get terrible thoughts of Allah because of waswassa. It's really difficult. A good idea is having a Diary to Allah inshallah. The trick is to only write about good subjects inshallah. Psychologist are always saying one has to reinforce a negative thought process witha positive one. That's why a diary is important. It helps one remember inshallah. Plus have a diary to Allah on the Day of Qiyamah is really going to be gold inshallah.
I've included some information about schizophrenia and what helps me. I hope it will be of benefit to you inshallah.

Salaam




Islamic solution to schizophrenia that helps me.
I have schizophrenia but I have found the solution that helps me. There are times when this solution is too difficult for me especially when I am being overwhelmed. When things are easier, when the voices are not too much then I go back to my regiment. It’s important because it is a form of meditation that is very peaceful. My parents and family were also very patient with me when this all started, this was also vital. The important thing for me is that I was reminded everyday of God’s oneness. This really helped me because I was hearing terrible things about God.

The solution that helps me.

1. I Pray everyday
In Islam, Muslims pray 5 times a day. When this all started all I could do was prostrate and declare God’s oneness with my index finger. But things did get better for a while. I still struggle with prayers but I still do my best which does make me feel better.


2. I write to God about my life in a dairy.
My problem is that I forget easily the blessing in my life. Hearing the voices everyday makes one really depressed. But having a diary to God really helps me. Reason being is that I replace a negative thought process with a positive one. I don’t write about negative things in my diary. I talk about comics, good jokes, heaven, art, computer graphics, good deeds that I see people doing and especially my family and friends etc.

3. I Recite God’s names
In Islam, God has many names which relate to his personality. This helps me understand God better which helps me realize that God is with me through my sickness God willing.

The following are examples are God’s names
God: Allah
God the Merciful : ar-Raheem
God the Healer : al-Qayoom
God the Compassionate : ash-Shafee
God the Granter of Peace: as-Salaam

I was really struggling in the beginning and then I found a book of God’s names. The first name I read was (al-Muqmeen) God - The preserver of faith. To this day it’s one of my favourite names of God because I do believe without His support I would have lost faith a long time ago.

Please note: I try everyday to make relevant prayers by each of God’s names. For instance God the healer (al-Qayoom), Here, I pray for my health as well as my family and friends etc It really helps me find peace. In Islam we repeat God’s names as a form of Meditation. It’s called thikr. We use rosemary beads which really helps Muslims go to a peaceful place.



4. I also Read Quran/Surah Hasr
Allah is He than whom there is no other god Who knows (all things) both secret and open; He Most Gracious Most Merciful.

Allah is He other than whom there is no other god the sovereign, the Holy One, the Source of Peace (and Perfection), The Guardian of Faith, the Preserver of Safety, the Exalted in Might, the Irresistible, the Supreme: Glory to Allah! (high is He) above the partners they attribute to Him.

He is Allah, the Creator, the Evolver, the Bestower of Forms (or colors). To Him belong the Most Beautiful Names: Whatever is in the heavens and on earth doth declare His Praises and Glory: and He is the exalted in Might the Wise.

5.I also Read Quran/Surah al-Ikhlaṣ

Say, "He is Allah, [who is] One,
Allah, the Eternal Refuge.
He neither begets nor is born,
Nor is there to none like unto Him."

6. I take Medication
I do take medication which really helps. I did find a psychiatrist and medication that suits me. I believe God provides relief that’s why I never forget to take my meds.


I hope that this information helps you and all those suffering from schizophrenia.

Peace and Blessings be upon you
 
Aishath said:
Assalaamu Alaikum

I don't really know where to begin. I'm gettimg so much waswas and I feel close to tears and I just wanted some help In Shaa Allah. I keep messaging the sheikhs here too and two of them do reply back to me often but I haven't heard back regarding some matters and I feel like I'm disturbing them with the same waswas issues all the time.

Since i got married not a month (or even a week I guess) seems to have gone by where i haven't had doubts about my nikah. I fear that i have somehow committed kufr and that the nikah has become invalid. I have been told by sheikhs many times that this isnt the case but yet i stay awake at night and get this deep fear that on the Day of judgement i may find out that I've been living in sin. I tell myself that Allah is the Most Merciful and that if i fall into an error and not realise it then He will In Shaa Allah forgive me.

It gets much worse though. The number of things that happen in a day that cause me to wonder if I've become kufr is gettimg ridiculous. I might look at a religious book or a Dua and i might make a face and then instantly think I've committed kufr. When i say i make a face, it's not like I stick out my tongue and properly make a face. It's like i might wrinkle my face the way you do when sniffing something or give out a big sigh or something. When i change clothes i get waswas that I am deliberately being provocative etc or being insulting to the Duas that we have pasted around the house.

It gets so difficult. I brush my teeth and i spit into the sink and at that point I get waswas thinking I've just pictured Allah written there and I've spat there. Sometimes it even happens like this and I get paralysed with the fear.

And then we get to the really difficult part for me. I started getting awful thoughts about Allah and His Messenger (pbuh). Whenever I read about our beloved Prophet (pbuh) amd his wives, I get awful awful waswas. I keep getting whispers similar to what the non-believers say regarding this. My body experiences different emotions and even feelings of arousal (May Allah forgive me). I couldn't stop this and it got really really bad. Even when I was at Masjid Nabawi I got all this waswas and i was horrified. I made Dua for Allah to remove this evilness from me. It got to the point where i then started getting waswas that i believed the thoughts. My husband kept telling me i hadnt and he said he was basing this on what i used to tell him at that time. I used to tell him that i was getting these thoughts and that i was scared. Every now and then i would try to read the biography of Prophet Muhammad ( pbuh ) or read a Hadith book. It got really bad.

I then began thinking these thoughts on purpose. I would feel my heart get really really rebellious and Eventually i would get this thought in my head. Alhamdulillah i never said it out loud. Even during salaat. I would be thinking of swear words against Allah and His Messenger (pbuh). I don't even like admitting this. I would feel really rebellious and think these thoughts and then feel really scared. Everyone keeps saying it is waswas but how can it be waswas when i find myself doing it? I wish i didn't yet even as i type this i find my heart wanting to think it and then i do it. Immediately i would say Auoozu Billah. Once when my husband and i had an argument, i walked into the room ad i thought two such thoughts on purpose. At that time it feels like i don't care if i become kufr. I then regretted thinking these and did my salaah. It's like i can't stop it. I would suddenly remember the thoughts and i would think it like 5-6 times and then be scared.

I get so much waswas about my nikah. At times i feel like giving up and just telling my husband to divorce me so i no longer have this concern about its validity. I feel like I'm committing zina sometimes. May Allah forgive me. (And with regards to my previous post about my marriage troubles, it is Alhamdulillah much better today as we sat down and talked out a lot of the big issues and he apologised for the wrong he had done and so did i)

Please help me. What's happening to me? I do pray. I try to do nafl salaat. I know i dont do enough (or much) Dhikr at all. In Shaa Allah I'll work on this more. Have i become kufr brothers and sisters?
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum,

My dear sister you are clearly going through great trials with your waswas issues. No matter what anyone tells you the issue does not go away. That is because your waswas is not normal. You clearly have extreme issues which require professional help. Have you tried getting ruqya? I would recommend going to a good reliable Raqi. Also go to your Doctor and get referred to a specialist to help you with these issues. We will always help and support you here but you really do require more professional help. Speak to a Raqi and your Doctor.

The main thing is that you must never let this affect your Deen. Ask of Allah and beg of him to help you during these blessed nights and know that he will never leave your hand empty. Also never ask Allah "why me". Whatever happens to us is decreed so we must accept it and be patient and get the relevant help.

May Allah alleviate your problem and compensate you with abundant rewards. Ameen
 
I am trying to get ruqya done In Shaa Allah. By the way I'm no longer in UK. I have moved home.

I want to ask Allah for help.. But i often think such evil and swearing thoighys of Allah. Auoozu Billah. I am so scared because of that.

For the longest time after i came home no one believed me when i saod this wasnt normal. My family still thinks i overreact and tell me to just stop it. I try. SubhanaAllah. Allah knows i try. Alhamdulillah my husband does believe me regarding this and In Shaa Allah he is helping me with the ruqya and we are also going to try and see a doctor soon In Shaa Allah.

Is there a way i can also use zamzam? I have some zamzam water at home... Im not sure what tje best way would be.

I like the ides of keeping a diary! In Shaa Allah that would help.

After i got married i quit my job and stayed home. I taught from home. But I'm returning to work In Shaa Allah soon. My husband is facing some difficulties at his job so In Shaa Allah this is for a little while until we are back on stable financial grounds. I have also been told not to stay home alone so much so In Shaa Allah i hope thisis ok.
 

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