Fear of marriage

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AlHoda

AlHoda

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:sl:

I don't think I would like to get married. Why, because I am not good around people. You might consider this weird, but I don't know how to socialize, let alone talk with people. I just don't. Do we have to get married?


:wa:
 
wa alaykum us-Salaam
sounds like you are a little social phobic and i think this can be overcome easily, inshallah. just get out and socialize and face your fears...you'll never get over your fears and problems until you are willing to put the effort in to overcome them...marrying a kind and understanding man should also do the trick, inshallah.
 
how u gonna live ur life without a husband?
i think we all need a campanion be it men or women
our parents not gonna be with us for long, and its ur husband and kids who will be with you

salaam alaikum
 
AlHoda said:
:sl:

I don't think I would like to get married. Why, because I am not good around people. You might consider this weird, but I don't know how to socialize, let alone talk with people. I just don't. Do we have to get married?


:wa:
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So you just do not want to marry cuz you are not good with people? Hmm. How do you handle school etc where there is a pressure to interact with people?

also if someone does not have any sexual libido, they should not marry. It would be unislamic, of course if the man has no desire than sure, do get married :).

Just talk to some shyookh for a fatwa on your specific situation (social skills and other needs) and let your parents know. May Allah give you what is best for you. I hope it is marriage. But Allah knows best.
 
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wa alaikum salaam,

there are many shy brothers as well. it is not necessary to be social to marry. pray to Allah to get you a good understanding husband and keep looking for potential spouse.
 
:sl:

Marriage is, in fact, a cure for being anti-social. I do not like socialising, but alhamdulillah my husband is the same ;) hehe. we enjoy each others company. we each have one good friend and a couple of acquaintances but other than that we keep ourselves to ourselves. its easy to pass the time of day with someone without being really friendly.

inshAllah marriage is not a problem.

May Allah cure you of your fear and help you find a loving caring partner .ameen
 
Rabi'ya said:
:sl:

Marriage is, in fact, a cure for being anti-social. I do not like socialising, but alhamdulillah my husband is the same ;) hehe. we enjoy each others company. we each have one good friend and a couple of acquaintances but other than that we keep ourselves to ourselves. its easy to pass the time of day with someone without being really friendly.

inshAllah marriage is not a problem.

May Allah cure you of your fear and help you find a loving caring partner .ameen
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thats good mashaAllah the two of yous are the same :)

anyway to the OP i think when you will be older you will think differently

when you will find your prince :D
 
^ defintely op, you just need to find the person who understands you. I used to think the same as you, but when you meet some 1 whom you have loads in common with and they get you, then you'll want to marry them lol.
 
i dont know i am a little socially awkward... honestly i usually just have my hubby say stuff for me... he words things so much better then i do.... i have a tendancy to say thing wrong or they get taken the wrong way because i dont say them right...

maybe thats why i like the computer so much... there is no delete or backspace button in the real world ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

(ps i re-wrote this like 20 times ROFL)
 
:sl:
Maybe you guys are right, but I'm 17 and I just am afraid that I am different from people. I don't know , I always feel like the akward one.
 
^ oh your only 17 don't worry about it as you mature things change. I was exactly the same at 17 really couldn't socialise with anyone had no friends either the world was a lonely place lol.

but it gets easier as you get older trust me , you just need to find people who are like you.

I was quite mature and used to act like a grown up lol so I never fitted in with people my age but I've noticed I fit in more with praticing people and they're so much more nicer and friendly.

we can have a good discussion about Islam :) try and find praticing people to hang around with. I know that feeling of being different from everyone else it's not easy but don't think your alone.
 
squiggle said:
^ oh your only 17 don't worry about it as you mature things change. I was exactly the same at 17 really couldn't socialise with anyone had no friends either the world was a lonely place lol.

but it gets easier as you get older trust me , you just need to find people who are like you.

I was quite mature and used to act like a grown up lol so I never fitted in with people my age but I've noticed I fit in more with praticing people and they're so much more nicer and friendly.

we can have a good discussion about Islam :) try and find praticing people to hang around with. I know that feeling of being different from everyone else it's not easy but don't think your alone.
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:sl:

I'm quite the opposite, I think I am rather childish for my age. I am always depend on people.;D I know i shouldn't do so much. But really I am really un-dependable ( don't know if that's the word:p) But thanks for your advice.
:wa:
 
AlHoda said:
:sl:

I don't think I would like to get married. Why, because I am not good around people. You might consider this weird, but I don't know how to socialize, let alone talk with people. I just don't. Do we have to get married?


:wa:
Click to expand...

Salam,

I totally understand, you are not alone. I'm 33 and I too don't want to marry. I'm constantly battling depression, anxiety and insomnia. How on earth could I support a wife and children, if I can barely take care of myself?

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? I've been told by some people that as you grow older loneliness becomes unbearable. So you should really think about this..

In my opinion, they should create matrimonial sites and other opportunities for weird people like us. That would be a great service, imagine how wonderful it would be to find a wife or husband who is just as weird as ourselves? lol

:wa:
 
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Argamemnon said:
Salam,

I totally understand, you are not alone. I'm 33 and I too don't want to marry. I'm constantly battling depression, anxiety and insomnia. How on earth could I support a wife and children, if I can barely take care of myself?

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? I've been told by some people that as you grow older loneliness becomes unbearable. So you should really think about this.

In my opinion, they should create matrimonial sites and other opportunities for weird people like us. That would be a great service, imagine how wonderful it would be to find a wife or husband who is just as weird as ourselves? lol

:wa:
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:sl:

Dear Argamemnon, may Allah (swt) bless you with happiness. I absolutly understand your situation. I myself am 17, I try to take care of myself which seems almost impossible, so how can I take care of a husband and children. You're right they sould make websites like that ;D, I don't plan on marriage now as I am still young, but I sometimes worry about that.
Jazakallahughair.

:wa:
 
AlHoda said:
:sl:

Dear Argamemnon, may Allah (swt) bless you with happiness. I absolutly understand your situation. I myself am 17, I try to take care of myself which seems almost impossible, so how can I take care of a husband and children. You're right they sould make websites like that ;D, I don't plan on marriage now as I am still young, but I sometimes worry about that.
Jazakallahughair.

:wa:
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I'm sorry you had already told your age, I should have read all replies. Perhaps you will be just fine within a few years insha'Allah.. if you were 27 and still felt this way then you would have had a problem.
 
I believe marriage is a sunnah of the Prophet

there is a hadeeth that says whoever abandons his sunnah is as though you have abandoned him (saw) but after looking at your age it would seem that you are quite young according to the western way of thinking as its quite common for the brpothers and sisters to marry at a young age.
 
squiggle said:
^ defintely op, you just need to find the person who understands you. I used to think the same as you, but when you meet some 1 whom you have loads in common with and they get you, then you'll want to marry them lol.
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How can you meet someone you have "loads in common with"? Sounds so easy...

:wa:
 

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