Ugly

Why did god make some people beautiful and others ugly ?? Im not questioning on allah's creations. I just want to know why ive been made this way ? When i look around at others, everyone else is better looking, i even get told im ugly by family members.

Why ?

noone is ugly. thats just an adolescent perception. the "ugliest" of people are often the most succesful because they have to rely on their brains.

how you look isnt necessarily a hindrance to marriage either imo, there is a fish in the sea for every1.

and in the sight of Allah it doesnt matter how you look. so indeed youve been given an oppurtunity to become close to Allah, i suggest you take it if you want to find peace/happiness

wa alaykum us-Salaam

sorry to sound so blunt but no pun intended.

honestly and seriously, people who have your mindset no matter what anyone says to them, they can never believe otherwise. no matter how many times people assure them that they are good looking, they will never believe it. no matter what advise people give, it wont sink in. do you know why? because in their own minds and hearts that is what they believe....so what you have to do, is start digging deep and start believing in yourself. i know it sounds so airy fairy but no amount of people can change your mind until and unless you start changing how you see yourself.

just because someone says your ugly, it doesn't mean you are. are you going to jump off a cliff becuase someone tells you to as well?

p.s family members just say things like that just as a joke so dont take it too heart too much.

Ive been brought up hearing this stuff as a child, (& i was ugly then-i admit it myself) in my teens i shook it off and pushed it back of my mind. Lately ive been changing myself in the physical sense, to make myself feel better about me, but it doesnt. the "me" inside, i feel its worthless too.

i don't think any amount of changing yourself physically can work. well not always anyway. i think its a mental/emotional issue that needs to be fixed first....

why do you feel worthless? do these thoughts and feeling affect you so much that you aren't able to see/acknowledge that you have use as well? do you want to change?

do you compare yourself to people? not necessarily in your looks (that too), but with what you do? are you around people who think differently from you? it could just be that you are in the wrong place and among the wrong people? thats all these issues boils down to sometimes just the fact that the people one is around see things differently and so if they arent like them, they get picked on. but it doesnt mean that they are in the wrong or anything, its just the fact that they happen to be in the same place where these types of people who disagree with you as well.

like those stories you hear about how someone was treated really badly, but then they went somewhere else, they were honored and people loved them ....and it goes the other way as well. someone may be loved somewhere, but elsewhere they are disliked. so its just really about perspective.

another example could be that a Muslim feels really good around other Muslims and they treat him/her well but when this muslim goes to school or anywhere, where there aren't any Muslims, things get a bit hostile (no offense to any non-Muslims) and that Muslim may feel uncomfortable. there is obviously nothing wrong with the Muslim but had those people who feel hostile understood and were Muslim themselves, they would have treated him/her as he/she ought to be treated. but again, that Muslim would feel good among other Muslims becuase they make them feel welcomed, etc.

i don't think its so much how you look and feel, i think its a learned behavior...like you said, you've been told you are ugly since you were a kid so naturally (unfortunately) its actually convinced you that you are this.. i think you just somehow need to acquire the opposite.

Ummu Sufyaan said:

i don't think any amount of changing yourself physically can work. well not always anyway. i think its a mental/emotional issue that needs to be fixed first....

why do you feel worthless? do these thoughts and feeling affect you so much that you aren't able to see/acknowledge that you have use as well? do you want to change?

do you compare yourself to people? not necessarily in your looks (that too), but with what you do? are you around people who think differently from you? it could just be that you are in the wrong place and among the wrong people? thats all these issues boils down to sometimes just the fact that the people one is around see things differently and so if they arent like them, they get picked on. but it doesnt mean that they are in the wrong or anything, its just the fact that they happen to be in the same place where these types of people who disagree with you as well.

like those stories you hear about how someone was treated really badly, but then they went somewhere else, they were honored and people loved them ....and it goes the other way as well. someone may be loved somewhere, but elsewhere they are disliked. so its just really about perspective.

another example could be that a Muslim feels really good around other Muslims and they treat him/her well but when this muslim goes to school or anywhere, where there aren't any Muslims, things get a bit hostile (no offense to any non-Muslims) and that Muslim may feel uncomfortable. there is obviously nothing wrong with the Muslim but had those people who feel hostile understood and were Muslim themselves, they would have treated him/her as he/she ought to be treated. but again, that Muslim would feel good among other Muslims becuase they make them feel welcomed, etc.

i don't think its so much how you look and feel, i think its a learned behavior...like you said, you've been told you are ugly since you were a kid so naturally (unfortunately) its actually convinced you that you are this.. i think you just somehow need to acquire the opposite.

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Ive realised the physical change doesnt work now, ive been doing it for a few years. I wanted to feel better about myself as a person, but i dont. the worthlessness ive no idea ? Im content with what ive got, i aint being picky or questioning anything really in terms of my life as it is. Its just i dont have any good feelings for myself. I do want to change, if i did it b4 i guess i could do it again. I think its more negative influence from extended family. I always told myself "make the best of what you've got" but i cant even do that anymore. I made myself into a recluse, over the years, refused to go to functions of any sort, cos i felt out of place. Even dressed up i only feel that uglyness.

I do compare myself to others, but have tried not to in recent months. This works to some extent, as i try to distract my thoughts and think of other things.

Ive also been having thoughts where i actually think the hijaab is adding to my uglyness. I would never take it off, & understand the purpose of it and im grateful but sometimes i do have thoughts where i wish i didnt have to wear it.

I think im in contact with a lot of shallow people in my life, most of them family. I can tolerate it, but sometimes i cant see past the things they say. In their eyes some1 beautiful is someone equivalent to a bollywood actress. caked on makeup and long flowing locks with a size 0 figure. culture eh ?

Danah said:

^That is very true and deep!!


I guess this is what you really need to work on right now. Find the strong sides on yourself and try to strengthen them. Like any normal person do, we all look for our weak points to surpass and for our strong points to show and strengthen. Don't say that you are worthless, everybody must be unique in something. The environment you are living in and they people surrounding you brainwashed you and make you feel that way that's why you find it hard to accept yourself with what you already have.

You might meet the most beautiful people but there characters are the worst. And you might meet (not good looking people) but they have noble/high characters. Few days ago we were talking about that issue in home and I was told by a relative this following story:
A young man always wished to marry a very beautiful woman but for some reasons he ended up marrying a woman that is not good looking "to him". He said: "She is so ugly that I couldn't even look at her face at home"!
But with days passing by he started to know her more, and because of her kindness, intelligence he loved her so much. So this man was saying that beauty is not important as the person character is.

That's why the physical appearance shouldn't be a criteria to evaluate others

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Thats the thing, im just really, really weak as a person, my imaan is at an all time low, and im drifting away, and bordering on the straying path, having been down the wrong side, not so long ago, i know its going to be easy for me to fall apart and stray again, thats where my main worries lie. If i could make myself get past this "worthless" stage then i know i would be able to heal myself mentally and emotionally...but i cant. I constantly look for flaws within myself. I dont know how to get past that.

i want to share two examples with you inshallah

prophet yusuf - well known as one of the most handsome men to have walked the planet
prophet muhammad pbuh - is said to have been extremely beautiful aswell

peace be upon them both

it may seem like a fairytale but why were they beautiful? because they were prophets and among those whose iman was so great we cant even fathom. noor is something that Allah chooses to give to his believers, I think if we can also strengthen our iman and live life in FULL submission to Allah then inshallah why wouldnt Allah swt give you his noor? i know it seems like a long shot but i know someone who was like you, when his imaan became strong Allah made him beautiful.......

also if you were very good looking this could be a great fitna on you, vanity, obsessiveness, ego and excessive attention from the opposite gender. these are the plagues of the good looking, it may seem appealing on the outside but your imaan is in danger in such a state.

may Allah make it easy on you

I always told myself "make the best of what you've got" but i cant even do that anymore. I made myself into a recluse, over the years, refused to go to functions of any sort, cos i felt out of place. Even dressed up i only feel that uglyness.

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you can always look at things from different perspective. for example you still have your health. and you are still intelligent and you are still friendly.

I do compare myself to others, but have tried not to in recent months. This works to some extent, as i try to distract my thoughts and think of other things.

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do you realize your own abilities/talents. do you acknowledge and realize the good about you? you cant seriously believe there is nothing good about you? once you realize your own talents, etc then your self-esteem tends to build up a bit. you realize you aren't a person for the people, but a person for yourself with your own abilities within your own scope of capability, intelligence, etc. someone may have something you don't but that someone will also NOT have something that you DO. i refuse to believe that you are worthless and i hope you realize the same as-well.

I think im in contact with a lot of shallow people in my life, most of them family. I can tolerate it, but sometimes i cant see past the things they say. In their eyes some1 beautiful is someone equivalent to a bollywood actress. caked on makeup and long flowing locks with a size 0 figure. culture eh ?

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people on tv have to look good and attractive...why else would they be on tv, they are being seen by everyone. even women (probably even men) who are in their 40's and 50's have to be jazzed up. trust me underneath all that makeup isnt a nice smooth face like the makeup make you believe there is. they have to look nice because if they don't they'll probably get fired becuase they are not attracting ratings/number of viewers.

on the outside people may get comments about their looks, but the reason why, can also very disturbing. women are often manipulated and brainwashed into looking the way they do (think of advertisements) and they will never realize it because they think its all good just becuase they get commented on it. just becuse they are in the spotlight, everything is great. wrong.

people can get good comments about their looks, but just how you are feeling, they also feel down in the dumps (actually probably worse) because they display themselves becuase of their self esteem issues (think models...males and females). those models don't get on the cat walk becuase they know how good looking they are, they get on becuase they have self esteem issues that they know they will get praised for. if this isn't prison i don't know what is. its funny how women with self-esteem issues always sway towards degradation whilst believing that she is free. alhamdulilah 3ala deenil Islam.

so getting complimented doesn't always equal something good either. the difference is that i think you are better off then those who get complimented- at least you aren't fake and have deceived yourself that you are free =)...

often people will throw nasty comments at you, becuase they know you are better then them. maybe you have something about you that they admire, but attack you for whats of the surface and not get noticed becuase that's what everyone else says.

besides people always point out the bad. do people comment and point out good looks to the face of others? people can be jealous and wont say nice things to you or about you to your face.

and about your hijab who are you wearing your hijab for? to please the people or to please Allah?

strengthen and fight against whats within...be around a good crowd. meet new people who love you for who you are. you only need one close friend to make you feel like the world.

strengthen your iman...your problems may not go away (inshallah they will), but at-least with iman you have a better perspective of things...and with iman you feel more patient with the trials of this life.

please forgive me if i've said anything offensive.

all the best ukhtee. it would be a shame to see someone letting all their good down the drain for a belief that isn't even true imsad

Beauty/Ugly what is it that determines determines which is which?

All humans are beautiful it is the advertising media and cultural bias that have made a concept of human beauty that most of us will never achieve. We have all been mislead by human opinion and our own prejudices to such a large extent many of us can no longer recognize beauty we see beauty by what we are told is beauty. The truly ugly people are often perceived as being beautiful and they think of themselves as being beautiful.

You may be ugly. But being ugly doesn't mean being unlovable. Some of the most loved people have faces that would never turn heads, but they are more loved than those whose faces adorn the pages of magazines. They are loved and admired for their sense of humour, kindness, compassion and generally because of what they are inside. Those who know them desire their friendship and company. On the other hand there are beautiful people who are ugly. Some of the loneliest people on the plant are the beautiful ones. Some are arrogant and mean, and when people sees this side to them, they don't beautiful to them any more. Lots of beautiful women don't have friends, because women feel threatened by them.


If Allah has blessed you with good characteristics, then let them shine through. Don't withdraw and stop people seeing the real you. Nothing is more beautiful than someone with a beautiful heart. Above all, don't let your looks get you down. Remember they are temporary, and one day no face will remain as it is. Strive to attain jannah, and you will be as beautiful as you want to be inshaAllah.
One way or another this world will give us pain. There is one place you'll find peace. Turn your face toward Allah. How beautiful and dear those tear stained faces must be to Allah when they praise and glorify His name.



:wa:

some people look good until you know them, and others that don't seem pretty from a quick look while walking down the street turn out to be truly wonderful persons. low self esteem is not going to earn you any points in life or in the hereafter, but liking yourself for who you are will get you farther than you seem to think.

anonymous said:

Why did god make some people beautiful and others ugly ?? Im not questioning on allah's creations. I just want to know why ive been made this way ? When i look around at others, everyone else is better looking, i even get told im ugly by family members.

Why ?

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Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Rasuallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) advised us to always think of those who are less fortunate than us. Therefore we should put ourselves in their position and only then will we realise how lucky we really are.

Imagine if you were born in poverty?
Imagine if you were born with a debilitating and disfiguring disease?
Imagine if you were born in a war torn country?
Imagine if you were born with there is massacre and oppression of the people?
Imagine if you were born a non believer?
Imagine if you were born with no parents and was adopted?

You are much luckier than most people in this world. Just look at what they have in comparison with what you have.

Don't be fooled into thinking that those who have better looks or have more materialistic wealth are happy because when we look at people around us we don't know what they are going through in their life. They could be going through the worst experiences that we can never imagine. This is what shaythan wants you to think. He is decieving you.

There are certain people who we see on the streets who may look happy but they are going through terrible trials and experiences. Therefore do not judge a book by its cover. These celebrities you see on the TV and magazines may look like they have everything but in reality all they have is emptiness in their lives and most of them end up in rehabilitation centres. The fact is they are not happy and this proves that wealth, fame and looks do not cause happiness. Contentment, happiness, peace and tranquility are ONLY found with the remembrance of Allah!

"Verily! Only in the remembrance of Allah will your heart find peace."
Quran (Surah 13: Verse 29)

Allah tells us in the Qur'an the way to gain this contentment, peace and happiness in our hearts and lives. This is soemthing most people would die for and it is something non believers look for their whole entire lives but look in the wrong places and consequantly never find what they are looking for. Celebrities like in hollywood and bollywood are just slaves to the system for they cannot think for themselves or do what they want. They have to conform to what they are told to do and many become trapped in this "game" and find it hard to get out. This is why many end up in a downhill spiral. Shaythan promises them everything in return for a cheap price but this fair exchange is far from fair for it ends up ruining their lives and there are many celebrities who are an example of this.

So let us not look up to them for they are no role model to us or mankind but they are exactley what we don't want to be for they themselves do not want to be in their position. We should count ourselves lucky we have imaan and we have Allah just a dua away.

Surely Allah created you and all of us beautiful in our own ways so does it matter what anyone else thinks? In the eyes of Allah the most beautiful women are those who cover themselves fully for the pleasure of Allah and the most ugliest and cursed in his eyes and the most beautiful to shaythan are those who do not cover and show off their bodily definitions and are dressed as if they are naked.

So would you rather be beautiful in the eyes of your creator Almighty Allah or your eternal sworn enemy shaythan?

Disregard what others say about you for you are beautiful to Allah for he created you and beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. What one person calls ugly may be another person's idea of beautiful. Those who put down others in such a way will come back to them in some way as this offends Allah who created us in his own beautiful way so why should his creations call each other ugly.

Therefore these people hould be disregarded and you should just think to yourself all that matters is that i am covering myself properly for the pleasure of Allah and therefore in the eyes of Allah i am the most beautiful.

So we should thank Allah constantly for what he has given us.Out of all the people in this world look at what he has given us? Do we go days without eating? Do we struggle to find clean and drinkable water? Do we have families around us? Do we have shelter to live in? Are you disabled or have a terrible disease? Why do we not thank Allah that he has created us without all of these terrible things in our lives?

The best thing of all is that we have been given imaan(faith) and that is something so unique and amazing more than we can ever imagine.

Not everyone has been given imaan and not all those who are given imaan die with imaan so it is crucial that we obey the commandments of Allah and remember him as much as we can so that we can be successful in this world and the next. How many people in this world could Allah have put us in the position of? We could of lived lives like non believers and died disbelievers but Allah has saved us and given us imaan and deen in our lives so we should count our blessings and thank Allah as much as we can all the time.

So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!

Always thank Allah for EVERYTHING

A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, I asked, “Messenger of Allah, why do you exert yourself so much while all your sins have been forgiven?” To this he replied, “`A’ishah, should I not be a grateful servant of Allah?” (Muslim).

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Allah is pleased with His slave who says: `Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah)’ when he takes a morsel of food and drinks a draught of water.” (Muslim)

Allah will increase us the more thankful we are to him

-Allah likes those who are thankful [39:7]

-Allah rewards those who are thankful [3:144]

-Allah gives more benefits and blessings to those who are thankful [14:7]

-Allah protects those from harm who render Him thankfulness [54:34-35]

Dua to make in every dua to become of the appreciative

Allahumma a-inni ala Zikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatik

(O Allah! Help me to remember you, to thank you, and to worship you in the best of manners)

Thanking people

The Prophet (Peace be upon him)said, Whoever has a favour done for him and says ‘Jazaak Allahu khayran‘ has done his utmost to thank him. (At-Tirmithi)

You should also make the best of every second of your life and not waste your precious seconds in thinking in this way because it matters not what others may think but what matters is what Allah thinks and Allah sees you as beautiful and inshallah he will give you the best partner for you who will also see you as most beautiful because it is ONLY Allah who pairs up two people to be destined together so if you do things the right way and obey Allah and ask of him then do you think he will deny you the best partner for you? Of course not! So have hope in Allah and faith in him for he will NEVER let you down! It is ONLY shaythan who is putting confusion and doubts in your mind for he is your enemy and only wants your destruction!

Go towards Allah for Allah wants you towards him. Take a little step towards him and he will take huge leaps towards you. Fulfil your obligations to him in the form of Salaah 5 times a day and remember him as often as you can learning about deen and remembering and glorifying him. Be with good and pious company and be the best towards your family and others even though they are not the best towards you for your reward is with Allah and not them. Recite the words of Allah as much as you can and always turn to Allah in dua. Allah is there for you so share everything with him and create a close bond and relationship with him.

If you put your reliance, faith, trust and hope in Allah then this is enough for you but do not waste any more of your seconds on what others say for all that matters is that you are beautiful to Allah and you should be concerned about making the best of the little time you have left. Remember death as much as you can and know that we will all return to Allah ANY second!

Keep in your mind the purpose of your life for shaythan will try to always make you forget this but we should keep reminding ourselves that we are here for ONLY one purpose and if we do not fulfill that purpose then we are not here fulfilling out duties and purpose of our life. The purpose of our life is ONE and that is to worship ONLY Allah and please him as much as we can. The best worship is Salaah so therefore let us worship him as much as we can and fulfill our obligations to Allah. Let us also call on others to do the same.

Know that we are only here for such a short amount of time and we will only look like this in this life but inshallah when we enter into Jannah then we will be beautiful beyond comprehension for eternity and our beauty will increase every Friday in Jannah! Subhanallah! Even in this life our beauty is our modesty and character. Therefore those of us who are modest and best in character and those women who cover are the most beautiful in the eyes of Allah in this life and they will be the most beautiful in the next life for eternity!

So who cares who looks ugly and who looks beautiful in the eyes of those with distorted and flawed vision but what really matters is who Allah finds beautiful!

Finally make as much dua as possible to Allah all the time for him to make it easy for you and he does want you to be closer to him so you should be so happy and thankful to Allah and make the best of every second of your life as out time is too short and we will regret the seconds we wasted without the remembrance of Allah and in doing good deeds to please Allah.


Here are some very beneficial lectures which you and your siblings should listen to, to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:

Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ


Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg[/QUOTE]

AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc




Here are some very beneficial articles for you to help you on your journey to Jannah and to make best use of every second of your life in this world:



10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?134290404-10-Steps-to-Increasing-our-Iman(Faith)

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...he-youth-should-spend-everyday-of-their-lives!

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...s-light-on-the-tongue-but-heavy-on-the-scales!

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?134289943-My-Daily-Ibadah-(worship)-check!

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?134292389-10-steps-to-getting-closer-to-Allah

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...rding-Good-Deeds-for-all-of-us-to-do-Everyday!

Not praying Salaah 5 times a day? Here's the solution!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...ying-Salaah-5-times-a-day-Here-s-the-solution!

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...Y-Rewarding-Nafl-Salaahs-we-can-Pray-Everyday!


Please remember me in your dua's.

and Allah knows best in all matters

one person may be ugly to one but to another they will be the most beautiful of all...