For Allah sake any body can help me

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hopeonallah

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Sir / Madam,

Assala mu aliqum...

I am extremely sorry for not to disclose my name . I am a male . my age is 32 years . I am a Gay . As far my knowledge from child hood I feel attraction towards to male only . I have countless no of encounter with guys . But I do not want to be a gay . Its not my choice . I am help less . I try a lot but every time I fail . I know according to Islam its a Sin. I did fasting every alternative day for years . but no answer . I have been taking treatment from many psychiatrist since I aware that I am a gay( more then 15 years) . Still I am under treatment by psychiatrist; continuously since 2003 , But the surprise thing is all the psychiatrist are giving me counseling about accepting my sexual orientation that is homosexuality . Including Muslim psychiatrist .

I heard homosexuality is prohibited in the Quran and sahi Hadid . As per my survey Islam has all solution for the life then, why not in homosexuality ?

I do not act like a girl . I am handsome and muscular behave . In general people may think gays are act like a girl, but its not true at all . most of the gays are not act like a girl . there are very few gay people who act like a girl .


honestly speaking I am not happy . I do not want to live a gay life . I want to live a straight life . I do not want to go to hell . I hate my life . I tried to do suicide many times but I fail . Now I am thinking homosexuality is one of the biggest sin as well as suicide also . So, two wrong thing cant make correct a wrong . Then what to do ? I can not stop my homosexual feeling . What to do ?

Do u know any solution regarding my problem ? Do you know any psychiatrist who is giving treatment for reorientation within a reasonable price ? Can you ask to Allah for make me a normal human ? I am too tired . kindly help me . Its my request for Allah sake kindly help me .

from : I am sorry for not to disclose my name .
from : India . Bangalore.
 
Asalaamu Alaikum,

I'm sorry to hear about your problem Brother, I am not knowledgeable enough to give you advice, but I'm sure someone will help.

said:
I tried to do suicide many times but I fail .
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You said you don't want to go to Hell, well if you kill yourself (suicide) you will go straight to hell =/ So please don't think like that.
 
:sl:

When You Find Out You Are a Gay

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My world was so confused as I kept asking myself why men marry women when in fact, they love men?
Editor's note: This is the true story of an ex-homosexual man. It is published here with the author's kind permission.

I was born in a devout Muslim family. All my family members keep the five daily prayers, fast in the month of Ramadan, and observe all the Islamic teachings and rituals. My parents performed Hajj in the 1970s. There are 14 of us in the family. I am the 11th and the last son of a 5-brother and 9-sister family. I am close to my sisters and my mother compared to my brothers. My father passed away when I was 10.

I felt attracted to guys when I was young. Maybe the feeling developed when I was 10 years old. At 14, I knew that I would not want to get married as I was not attracted to women. I thought of how I would face my brothers and sisters when they all would get married and I would stay single.
My world was so confused as I asked myself why men marry women when in fact they love men. Then I realized that it was only me who felt that way. I was never abused by anyone. I still have no clue why it affected me.

Same Sex Experience


Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all thisSomehow, time passed by so fast and I had to face the reality that I will stay single forever. Luckily, some of my brothers and sisters got married when I was studying in the US. When I finished my degree, I stayed in Kuala Lumpur away from my family. Therefore, I could escape from the marriage questions.

My first SSE (Same-Sex Experience) started during college days. It continued after completing my studies when I settled back in Kuala Lumpur. It went further as my work took me to the Middle East. During these times, I still continued with my prayers. Sometimes, I felt so shy to face Allah during prayer as I just had sex earlier. Sometimes, I waited till the next day.

Although my career grew, I felt turbulence in life. My career did not go as smoothly as I wanted it to. My life was empty and my emotions were unstable as I kept changing partners. Then, I read a hadith about those committing sodomy.

Two years ago, I was out of work. I thought that was the worst time of my life when in fact it was the best time ever. I started reading the translation of the Qur'an. The imam in a mini mosque read hadiths (from the collection of Imam An-Nawawi) every morning after Fajr Prayer (Arabic for: Dawn Prayer). I now realize how these hadiths have shaped my life and my thinking.
I also read Prophet Muhammad's (peace and blessings be upon him) biography and the biographies of the 10 Companions who were promised Paradise. These stories moved me.
Even with all this, I still continued with my SSE, as bad habits die hard.

During my 6-month out-of-work period, Allah taught me how to surrender to Him. When I was hungry with no food to eat, Allah sent people offering me to eat with them. I did not have to ask Allah for this. He read me well. I was glad.
Surrendering to Allah is the turning point of my life. Reading the translation of the Qur'an has changed my perception of thinking and looking at this world. I read the book Road to Mecca by Muhammed Assad. I felt like a totally new Muslim.

Even with all this, I was still having SSE.

Words from Prophet Lut to his people kept me thinking. "Take my daughters for your wife. May you will find peace." I smiled sarcastically as I know these people were not interested in women, how could he offer his daughters? But then again, these are a prophet's words. There must be some truth in them.

Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all this. I felt tired of my life, felt like every time I was climbing ladders to reach to the highest level of faith, I fell down when I had a SSE.

Getting Married
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Allah gave me a wife who fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklistWith my companion, I could channel my sexual desire according to Islam. Within a week, Allah sent someone who wanted to introduce me to her auntie. (I said in my heart: An auntie?) I said, "OK if I have the time." Then the lady was brought to me in the same evening. There was not much conversation except that she said that her favorite journey is from her house to the masjid. That was the last word we spoke before I adjourned to surau for my `Asr Prayer (Arabic for: Afternoon Prayer).

After the first meeting, we contacted each other via text messages. She asked me "Why didn't I get married?" I was a bit stunned and replied with all sorts of excuses. Then I resent to inform that in fact I did not get married because I was born homosexual. After a week of text messaging, I asked her if that it was OK to let my mom know about us and I found the right person. She said "OK." Within three months, we were married in a small ceremony.

Allah gave me a wife. She fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklist. I told her the one she did not fulfill is that she is a woman, not a man. She smiled. Allah offered me the qualities in her as if I spelled out my checklist. Allah knows me too well and knows what makes me happy.

During the three months that I knew her (before marriage), I did not feel attracted to her, I did not feel the arousal when I was with her. Nor does she toward me. I surrendered to Allah alone as I read in the Qur'an that He is the One Who showers the love feeling.
I prayed to Allah to shower us with love and make me feel aroused with her. True enough, Allah accepted my plea.

During the process of knowing my wife, I stumbled upon straight struggle Yahoo! groups based in the UK that cater for Muslims who face Same Sex Attraction (SSA) all over the world. I shared my life experience and my successful story with the groups. I am glad that I paved the way and encouraged some to take the first step to get married and counter the fear of first-night marriage.
In sha' Allah, my small contribution will lead to many successful heterosexual marriages in the future. Amen.

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...ture/ACELayout
 
i'm not knowledgeable in this area either.. but i do have one thing to ask you of.. STOP participating in sexual relations :) and lower your gaze. Don't worry about other Muslim men who are gay.. first concentrate on yourself and have firm intention and faith to change. Inshallah someone more knowledgeable on this topic will help you.
 
this guy is hilarious, do any on you lot think he's muslim? he probably is gay tho
 
aadil77 said:
this guy is hilarious, do any on you lot think he's muslim? he probably is gay tho
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well the having sex with gay muslim 'priests' was amusing if anything.. nonetheless we advise for the sake of all that is good..

:w:
 
For tne moment let us set aside the issue of your homosexuality. One sin is you have been having sexual relations with someone who is not your wife. This is a issue even heterosexual people have.

You do have a difficult temptation to overcome, but this temptation is no greater than the temptation many heterosexual men face.

Like all men you are faced with sinful temptations, we each may have different temptations but to give into any temptation is a sin and facing these temptations is a very difficult trial.

Pray for strength and guidance in forsaking all temptations. Learn how to gain better impulse control.

Since you know the difficulty it is to avoid temptaions, Pray that Allaah(swt) will help you avoid the situations in which you will face these temptations.
 
I am extremely sorry for disagree with you . I am not at all happy being a gay . second thing still I am not a Muslim . How do I think being a gay and stay as a True Muslim . Islam never accept gay . I wish, I could be a true Muslim then definitely I would not be a gay . That is what Islam says . But the fact is there are many gay who are Muslim .
But I really and truly believe the wonderful great book is Quran only. And I also believe Mohammad is the greatest person in this world. And I dont think any body will come to this world which is greater then Mohammad .
Mohammad has provided solutions of all type of problems which are available in this world except homosexuality according to me . But again I believe its my foul in my search that, I didn't get solution about homosexuality . I don't think Mohammad has missing it . I am the person who is not able to find out . That is why I am here .Trust me , nothing can stop my search except death. Trust me I will not accept homosexuality is a normal , even if the entire world consider it as a normal because its prohibited in the Quran .
 
i hope u get cured for your disease inshallah because thats exactly what u have is a disease
 
said:
I didn't get solution about homosexuality
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What solution do you want to find ? The solution is : Stop it by any means.

Look bro, if you really don't wont to be gay, just stop being gay, it's up to you.
I'm sure you know many things about your self better than all of us, but you must understand that no one is gay by nature : you chose to act as a gay, or you can stop doing these acts and be straight.

As for Islam, it says that you should stop this behaviour, but how you do it, it's up to you. It's like you stop drinking alcohol. Islam says you should stop drinking it, but how you will get over drinking it's up to you : you can join clean communities, do prayer, change your environment or your friends etc.
 
my dear friend " MARWEN " , Its very easy to say stop it . Do you think telling stop can make it real stop . If its so easy then you could not have seen any gay in this world .If some one say " Oh! you have brain cancer ; you are feeling pain , why your feeling pain ; why you have brain cancer ? Don't have brain cancer then don't feel pain " . This sounds is very funny . I can give you one more example : If some one say to a poor man ; why you wary about your daughter's study ? If he reply because he does not have money for it . Then ' I hope your respond should not be like this such as " why you are poor ; why don't you stop become poor ; why don't you become rich ; what solution you want ? you should become rich your problem will be solve automatically .

Here I would like to tell you one universal truth ; that is , Not giving any suggestion is better then making fun on it .

For your kind information Islam not only for DO and DON'T , Islam has provided the way how to achieve those DO and DON'T .

Thank you .
 
Greetings hope,

have you read the story in post # 4 and taken a look at the link Br. Qatada provided?
I must disagree with you on the notion that you can't stop it, for the simple reason that love and sex are two separate issues.. where you are free to love, you're not free to act on it in an unlawful manner.. anyone who has ever been in love and couldn't be with their love understands that feeling all too well so it isn't exclusive to homosexuals.. question is how to live with those miserable feelings? Giving up something you love for your love of God will grant you rewards beyond your expectations though you may perceive it not..

all the best
 
First I ask Allah to help you solve all your problems. I just want to reply to your post, because I think you have a lot of misconceptions, and I think that's why you find it hard to come over this problem. Mainly because you think it's your destiny to be like that and you can do nothing to it.

said:
If its so easy then you could not have seen any gay in this world
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That's mainly because most of them don't think they are wrong or they want to stay like that, not because they don't want and they can't.

said:
.If some one say " Oh! you have brain cancer ; you are feeling pain , why your feeling pain ; why you have brain cancer ? Don't have brain cancer then don't feel pain " . This sounds is very funny . I can give you one more example : If some one say to a poor man ; why you wary about your daughter's study ? If he reply because he does not have money for it . Then ' I hope your respond should not be like this such as " why you are poor ; why don't you stop become poor ; why don't you become rich ; what solution you want ? you should become rich your problem will be solve automatically .
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All the examples you metioned are good. But they are different from this subject. Being gay is behaviour not a destiny. It's your own actions that define if you act as a gay or not. You can stop your actions, it's difficult for some people to stop a habit or a desire or an attraction, but it's not impossible. Not like a poor who can't be rich.

said:
For your kind information Islam not only for DO and DON'T , Islam has provided the way how to achieve those DO and DON'T .
Click to expand...
The main key for your problem is to make a courageous decision that you want to stop and you don't like to stay in that bad way. Second, you should close any door that takes to that sin again : like quiting bad friends, trying to change your ambiance.


Seriously bro, you're asking for something really unthinkable. For example if Islam tells you you shouldn't kill an innocent person, will you ask if Islam gives also a way how to not kill this person? come on.
 
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hopeonallah said:
I am extremely sorry for disagree with you . I am not at all happy being a gay . second thing still I am not a Muslim . How do I think being a gay and stay as a True Muslim . Islam never accept gay . I wish, I could be a true Muslim then definitely I would not be a gay . That is what Islam says . But the fact is there are many gay who are Muslim .
Click to expand...

Islam was sent to mankind (including homosexuals) your homosexual actions are haraam but to have desires is not haraam in fact if that was the case then we all should be on our knees at this moment begging to Allah to forgive us. We are judged on our intentions if you have the intention in you heart to please Allah and to try to be a good muslim then you will be judged/rewarded by that intention no matter what your sexuality is Allah does not discriminate and judges people according to their actions.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said : “Allah has forgiven my Ummah of the whisperings of their souls so long as they do not talk about it or act accordingly.”

take this into account bro and dont act out your homosexual desires and pray to Allah to help and guide you for His mer.

I know someone who is muslim and gay and the experiences that they have shared with me how their own bro/sisters in Islam have treated them sickens me and in my personally opinion instead of criticizing their desires some of us should be helping them bc as a muslim that is one of the rights that they have over us.
 
Thank you for reply me , my dear friend " Marwen "

Yes Islam has given the solution " how to not kill innocent person " . Its a different issue that you don't have knowledge about it .
Do you think , Islam has those solution ; whichever you know only ? My dear friend this is one of the biggest general problem of human being that, human being think what they know that is only true . what ever other know that is does not exist.
But a true Muslim never believe superstition . A true Muslim believe in prove . Here I don't want to talk some other issue rather then my main topic . If you really want to know " How to not killing innocent people " then post a topic from your sides , God willing I will try to reply you .
thank you .
 
i suggest u, if u r not muslim , then study and search islam. if Allah swt open ur heart for islam, i am hopeful that the light of eman is such a great power in islam that its wake up person in cold morning from its bed, then he make wudu with cold water and go to masjid even in snow. eman make it easy for a person to leave his desires and addictions (no matter how intense they are) and follow the commandment.
 
Allah says:"Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. " Surat Arra`ad

My respected brother start to change yourself and Allah will help ya by His willing and mercy...

what are you waiting for? believe me saying : I can`t, its hard, I don`t know how...etc; won`t ever help you , those words are for losers and you are not one of them, don`t disappoint yourself by convincing yourself about these things and by leting satan fool ya...you are much stronger than that...as long as you have the flame of repentance desire then take all the chances you are getting and learn how to hold yourself back and face difficulties...

it is not enough to say that you want to change cause words are nothing like deeds and Stop is not hard but satan is harden it for ya...you can stop just try...whenever you are about to do those bad things remind yourself of Allah Al Mighty Who Is seeing you doing them and think what if death comes ? what if I died? what to do and say when I stand before Allah in the Day of Judgement? what are your excuses? what force ya to do this while you know that Allah Is watching? haven`t you had many chances to change? haven`t you lived so long to rethink of your deeds of the purpose of being alive? Is what you are doing is the purpose of living of being created? are you a slave of Allah or this worldly life? what is more difficult leaving those things you do or the torment of Hellfire?....ask yourself, think deeply and remind yourself...

the first you improve your relationship with Allah; you will see wonders and then the changes will happen and be occurred ...

return to your Lord, get closer to Him and be a good slave to Him and then you will find what you are seeking for and more...

Allah waits for His slaves to return to Him in repentance Allah always calling: Is there someone to ask me my forgiveness so I forgive him? Is there someone who wants to repent so I accept his repentance?...then why are you away from the Most Merciful..?

never look back ever, change everything, everyone and every place that would remind you of your problem...try your best sincerely and you will see in shaa Allah...

you need to know your way to Allah then His guidance will know its way to you by His Willing...

you are in our prayers my respected brother in shaa Allah...

May Allah ease everything for ya and guide your way always and forever Ameeeen

please take care of yourself...

Humbly, your sister no matter who you are and what you are:

Amat Allah.
 
thank you my dear sister " Amat Allah "
I guess you are the first Muslim person who talk to me such a nice way . God will surely give you heaven .
I want to share a wonderful thing with you . I don't know how much I am right or sure about it . the mater is I was studying the translation of surah HUD as I don't know Arabic . I have seen a sign at that surah; about how to over come from homosexuality . I don't know how much I am right . But I am applying that sign on my self . And I am feeling some change . I don't know its the true change or my false feeling . No doubt Allah always listen to true Muslim. No doubt you people are all true Muslims . and also no doubt you people are prying for me . I hope Allah is listening to you so that, I may got that secret sign which can help me to over come from homosexuality .

I want to share one more thing , I face many problem . you know I stay alone since I was 14 years . I always crying because I have the mountain of problem . And the interesting thing is I always overcome from my problems no mater how tough it is . I pray, I cry to Allah . You may not believe me one miracle was happen with me , it was the exam time . I didn't study properly . my exam was very close it only 6 days remaining . I was crying a lot to Allah . And after all I start study . within that period memorizing was far thing simple reading the whole subject was very tough within the 6 days . But any how I just finished the reading only , i didn't memorize . believe me all answer was common , I was surprise because I was just simply answering my questions, and I thought my hand is automatically moving to the right answer without using my brain . " Now hold your breath " . You cant believe it I scored 1000 out of 1000.
Allah is great .....
 
You are very welcome at anytime my respected brother...May Allah lead your way to His path of peace and real endless happiness Ameeeeen

why not to believe you while I as a Muslim and slave of Allah The Exalted believe that Allah Is The All-Hearer and All-Seer...why not to believe you while I feel I know and believe that when Allah decrees a matter, He only says to it: "Be!" - and it is.

and Allah The Creator of everything; Is The One Who decides if He wants to accept someone`s prayer or not; not us who know not what in Allah`s inner-self while He does know what in ours...and none of us knows what Allah plans for us or this world...we are His slaves and shall remain His servant and slaves no matter what...

when you return to Allah then be sure that He Is listening and when you take one step to Allah; He will take many and when you walk to Him; He runs to you...then why to be called and named The Most Merciful and Most Compassionate if He Is not? all Praise and Glory be to Allah...

I am not surprised cause I allready saw so much of Allah`s wonders and mercy on earth for everyone not only Muslims cause we are all His creatures not only Muslims my respected brother...

return to Allah in everything my brother..when you are happy thank Him and praise Him when you are sad return to Him and ask Him for His help and support and when you sin ask His forgiveness and His guidance ask Him for what ever you want and always remember that you are the slave of the Most Generous The Most Merciful always...

May Allah show you the way and help ya to be His true slave and give you the best of this life and of the Hereafter Ameeeeeeeen

take care of yourself and never give up cause when everyone in this earth turn away from you and gives you their backs then remember that you have Allah the Only One Who can benefits you and gives you what you wish for and the Only One Who listens to you till the end and knows you from inside and have all the perfect answers for you because He Is The Perfect One, ok?

Indeed, laa ilaha illa Allah.

May Allah be with you Ameeeeeeen

With all my respect, your sister:

Amat Allah.
 

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