please..urgent help!!!!!!

[HaYa-MiD gIrL]

Peace be upon you all
how are u?
I wrote an essay and i want your help to check it in all of respects like checking the language .....please help me as soon as possible!
thank u Media effects
Exchanged values ,changing different cultures , advertisements and announcements, benefits and detriments ,pell mell and regularity ,calmness and din, fantasy and real, life and death and happiness and sadness are all in one sea, called the Media , the ambivalent world .
Good and evil are both in media ,the good is evident and the evil is called many different names ,so, I would like to write a bout some of contemporary issues :the media effects on morality and violence.
It is certain that most of us compare always between children nowadays and children in the past .Children nowadays are more aggressive and violent,they have aggressive thoughts,speak more violently and use their energies in attacking and injuring others as an entertainment,since an American study indicated that exposure to media violence stimulates aggressive behavior and affects them as adults years later .Dont forget the computer games which is almost based on killing people to get more money ! these games and serieses cause a terrible danger for children who regard games characters as heros, accordingly , children try to imitate their heroes!
More ever m it affects on their brain growth and decreases their ability to create, because it kills imagination ,this in turn affects on their studing and thus their production when they grow up m which evidence the far –reaching effects.
That bitter ,but reality to recognize how our values and morality have been changed gradually without doning anything to regain them,we have become without feeling guilty although we commit it many times a day ,we become without responsibility dont try to do anything because we are always unable!
What we watch today of changed Arabic culture is something occurs everyday ,every hour and every minute by the way in which we use the media means –or rather the way in which they use us-!
In fact ,the media means are the main influent on peoples morality ,perceptions and behaviors.First when we turn on TV we will see a pervert song , or a silly series or a pointless program….you find rarely a useful channels!....have you ever counted th video clip channels? …they are 73 !..well ..these pestilential channels cost annually 67 million dollars….just to change our values upside down , make us forget our Arabic identity ,deprive us of our responsibility and to
dominate our concerns, clues, consuming and the pattern of our lives. All of these changes occur in the name of globalization and openness …..and we accept !
Although there are some exhibits against this immoral phenomenon, they are a minority in a sea of supporters .The problem is that the majority throw a way their religion ,values and language by being concerns and wathing such these channels, but what is more that they don’t fell they are at fault and always blame others !
At last, iam not anti- media but I protest the glut of garbage which are shown in TV , I am sure there will be better generation than ours who will control the media according to the righteous way ,because media is a coin has two sides .We should take responsibility and direct our powers and potentials in order to keep our Arabic identity and to support our society more spiritual and moral values to not to fall in a terrifying abyss over the next few years

[Woodrow]

[QUOTE=HaYa-MiD gIrL;915448]
:sl:Ukhti,

I just quickly browsed over it and made a few changes.

Media effects
Exchanged values ,changing different cultures , advertisements and announcements, benefits and detriments ,haphazardly and regularity ,calmness and din, fantasy and real, life and death and happiness and sadness are all in one sea, called the Media , the ambivalent world .
Good and evil are both in media ,the good is evident and the evil is called many different names ,so, I would like to write about some of contemporary issues :the media effects on morality and violence.
It is certain that most of us always compare between children nowadays and children in the past .Children nowadays are more aggressive and violent,they have aggressive thoughts,speak more violently and use their energies in attacking and injuring others as an entertainment,since an American study indicated that exposure to media violence stimulates aggressive behavior and affects them as adults years later .Don't forget the computer games which are almost always based on killing people to get more money ! these games and scenarios cause a terrible danger for children who regard games characters as heroes, accordingly , children try to imitate their heroes!
More than ever before it affects (deleted) brain growth and decreases(deleted) ability to create, because it kills imagination ,this in turn affects on children's studying and their production when they grow up.There is much evidence of the far –reaching effects.
It is bitter ,but reality to recognize how our values and morals have been changed gradually without doing anything to regain them,we have become feeling guiltless although we commit it many times a day ,we become irresponsible and don't try to do anything because we are (deleted) unable!
What we watch today of changed Arabic culture is something occurs everyday ,every hour and every minute by the way in which we use the media means –or rather the way in which they use us-!
In fact ,the media means are the main influent on peoples morality ,perceptions and behaviors.First when we turn on TV we will see a pervert song , or a silly series or a pointless program….you find rarely a useful channels!....have you ever counted th video clip channels? …they are 73 !..well ..these pestilential channels cost annually 67 million dollars….just to change our values upside down , make us forget our Arabic identity ,deprive us of our responsibility and to
dominate our concerns, clues, consuming and the pattern of our lives. All of these changes occur in the name of globalization and openness …..and we accept !
Although there are some exhibits against this immoral phenomenon, they are a minority in a sea of supporters .The problem is that the majority throw a way their religion ,values and language by being concerned and watching valueless channels, but what is more that they don’t feel they are at fault and always blame others !
I am not anti- media but I protest the glut of garbage which are shown in TV , I am sure there will be better generations than ours who will control the media according to the righteous way ,because media is a coin has two sides .We should take responsibility and direct our powers and potentials in order to keep our Arabic identity and to support our society with more spiritual and moral values to not to fall in a terrifying abyss over the next few years

[Ali.]

Woodrow has made most of the major corrections, however I would like to point you out on a grammar error;

WORDCOMMASPACENEXT WORD

For example:

Hello, I'm Ali.

Not Hello , I'm Ali. etc.

Also, WORDFULL STOPSPACENEXT WORD

For example:

Hello, I'm Ali. What's your name?

Not Hello, I'm Ali.What's your name? etc.

Also, if you write formally it's rare that you put triple dots, and you don't put full stop(s) after an exclamation mark, e.g. !...

This is how I'd edit it:


Media effects
Exchanged values, changing different cultures, advertisements and announcements, benefits and detriments, haphazardly and regularity, calmness and din, fantasy and real, life and death and happiness and sadness are all in one sea, known as the Media; the ambivalent world.
Good and evil are both in media, the good is evident and the evil is known by many forms, so I would like to write about some of contemporary issues: the media effects on morality and violence.
It is certain that most of us always compare between children nowadays and children in the past. Children nowadays are more aggressive and violent, they have aggressive thoughts, speak more violently and use their energies in attacking and injuring others as an entertainment, since an American study indicated that exposure to media violence stimulates aggressive behavior and affects them as adults years later. Don't forget the computer games which are increasing the sole purpose of the game to kill people and in return receive the stolen goods, e.g. money. These games and scenarios cause a terrible danger for children who regard games characters as heroes, accordingly, children try to imitate their heroes!
More than ever before it affects (deleted) brain growth and decreases (deleted) ability to create, because it kills imagination, this in turn affects on children's studying and their production when they grow up. There is much evidence of the far-reaching effects.
It is bitter, but reality to recognize how our values and morals have been changed gradually without doing anything to regain them,we have become feeling guiltless although we commit it many times a day, we become irresponsible and don't try to do anything because we are (deleted) unable!
What we watch today of changed Arabic culture is something occurs everyday, every hour and every minute by the way in which we use the media means – or rather the way in which they use us.
In fact, the media means are the main influent on peoples morality, perceptions and behaviors. First when we turn on TV we will see a pervert song, or a silly series or a pointless program, you rarely find useful channels. Have you ever counted th video clip channels? Their are 73, these pestilential channels cost $67,000,000 annualy, just to change our values upside down, make us forget our Arabic identity, deprive us of our responsibility and to
dominate our concerns, clues, consuming and the pattern of our lives. All of these changes occur in the name of globalization and openness; and we accept!
Although there are some exhibits against this immoral phenomenon, they are a minority in a sea of supporters.The problem is that the majority throw a way their religion, values and language by being concerned and watching valueless channels, but what is more that they don’t feel they are at fault and always blame others.
I am not against the media, but I protest against the ever increasing of garbage which is shown in TV, I am sure there will be better generations than ours who will control the media according to the righteous way, because media is a coin has two sides. We should take responsibility and direct our powers and potentials in order to keep our Arabic identity and to support our society with more spiritual and moral values to not to fall in a terrifying abyss over the next few years.

A very interesting essay by the way. :)

[HaYa-MiD gIrL]

jazakomo allahu khairan dear brothers
may allah bless u and help u always
thaaaaaaaaaank u so much
my regards