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- Qatada -
06-01-2008, 01:43 PM
Asalaam alaikum

Cute, or Hot?


During jahiliyyah, there were some gurls who were talkin about an 'extremely important subject.'

"What would you prefer more, a cute guy, or a hot guy?"


Cute guy.


Hot guy.


Nah.. both!?





Okay.. okay, hot then..





After abit of discussion, they came to a conclusion.


What was it?


Imagine being with a guy who looks like your little brother, you think that's goin to make you excited?


Er.. yeah, a lot of them chose 'Hot'.





A cute guy is someone who's still got that 'baby face', whereas a 'hot' guy is likely to be a guy who's got the mature face but still 'looks good'.






Why is this important?


So anyways, when we talk about looks – we need that person who looks soo nice that you stop yourself from drooling when you see them.. when you want to "eat them up!" Who doesn't like cute things eh?



We even know that when you look at someone, what you perceive as beauty will make you like that look, or dislike that look – depending on your tastes. As they say 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' : -



But we know one thing for sure – whenever Allah sends guidance for us, He sends it for us in all of our matters. He sent that perfect Messenger for us and the salaf knew this well. So whenever the 'ulama have written books on marriage, and the characteristics of the perfect husband – they've always looked at the beauty and features of Allah's Messenger, and made him the criterion for perfection in human beauty.





So let's read a brief narration of the looks of Allah's Messenger;
In Shamâ´il al-Muhammadiyyah by Abû ‘Isâ at-Tirmidhî (d. 279 AH) - a description of Allah's Messenger is given in detail:


I asked my uncle, Hind bin Abû Hâlah, [to describe the Prophet, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam,] because it was his habit to do so and I ardently desired that he describe something of his characteristics so that I could relate to them and imitate them. He said,

‘The Messenger of Allâh, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam, was imposing, dignified and one who was greatly honoured and respected. His face shone with resplendence like that of the moon when it was full. He was somewhat taller than a person of medium stature but shorter than a tall person. His head was large with slightly curly hair and if the hair on his forehead parted of its own accord, he would keep it parted, otherwise his hair, when at its longest, would reach the lobes of his ears. He was white skinned with a wide brow, thick curved eyebrows which were completely joined except in the place where they met. Between them was a vein that would throb when angry. He had a long, aquiline nose which shone with a light that would seem to elevate it, whoever did not carefully look at it would think it upturned. He had a thick and full beard with firm cheeks that were not raised. He had a wide mouth, evenly spaced teeth and had a fine line of hair extending from his chest to navel. His neck resembled that of an ivory statue’s, white in colour like smooth silver and he was of a goodly build, finely balanced. His chest and stomach were level and he had a wide chest with broad shoulders. His joints were large, and his skin that would normally be covered with clothes had a lustre about it. He had a line of hair extending from his upper chest to his navel, apart from that, his chest and stomach were bare. The upper part of his chest, his forearms and shoulders had a lot of hair on them. He had long forearms with wide palms and he had heavy and thick hands and feet. His fingers were long but not extremely so, he had high insteps and his feet were smooth and well proportioned because of which water would swiftly flow off them and quickly vanish. When he walked he walked briskly with strength of purpose but placed his feet on the ground softly. When he walked, he took large steps and it was if he was descending a slope. When he turned [to address someone], he turned his entire body. He would constantly lower his gaze looking more to the ground then he would to the sky. Most of the time he would merely glance at something, he would have his Companions walk in front of him and would hurry to greet whoever he met with the salâm.’ [1] 1. (A) In one text the wording is, "He would initiate the salām." I say: perhaps this is the correct wording for this is what is mentioned in al-Bidāyah via the route of Ya'qūb bin Sufyān. Recorded by at-Ţabarānı and al-Bayhaqı with an isnād that is da'ıf jiddan: the man from Banı Tamım is majhūl and Jumay' is da'ıf and some accused him of lying. (T) But all that is mentioned in the ĥadıth is proven by other authentic aĥādıth, Allāh knows best.
So if you think you're beautiful, then compare yourself to Allah's Messenger to see if you really match that human perfection.





2 Pictures - Pick one


Okay, so now imagine. There's this massive body builder on TV, you know – the one who oils all his body up to pick up that metal stick while making funny faces and getting all red. Yeah? That one.

Loads of guys would love to be that muscular, but its hard to keep up with that sort of diet and exercise. And if any women have fallen into the mistake of watching that, then you probably don't want to watch it again.. no seriously, it doesn't look too pretty does it?



But wait. If a woman was shown 2 pictures of two guys – one extremely built like a body builder, and the other who was a casual guy who looked quite handsome. Which one do you think she would pick as a husband?

Bros, you would probably say the bodybuilder, right?





When a guy has a lot of testosterone in his body, it might be that he has less feminine features. So for example, he's likely to have a stronger or broader face, a deeper voice, maybe even more 'thicker' features etc. (Imagine Vin Diesel.)

Compared to a guy who has less testosterone in his body, who might have more feminine related features, such as an average sized face, a thinner voice (compared to the extra testosterone guy), and maybe more sharper features. (imagine Tom Cruise?)





Who will she pick...


Looking at the pictures of the two guys at face value, its extremely likely that the woman will choose the 2nd guy, the guy with less testosterone
[this is based on studies.]


Really!? Why!



When women see cute babies, they say "awww…" while poking them, don't they? Usually, these babies have sharper features, like big eyes, a small thin nose, and red lips.

They find that cute, in guys too.






Oh, but wait - you said that women like hot guys more than cute guys? Are you confused?


During jahiliyyah, there was this girl that a guy knew. She'd ask him to hold his hand, but masha Allah he still never used to do it.


One day, she randomly said to him "I like guys with big, strong hands."


He was like.. okay..??



The women who saw the picture of them 2 guys before, they were afterwards told to hold the hands of the two guys at separate times.

The majority of these women were drawn more towards the guy who had more testosterone in his body (the bodybuilder.) So the tables turned, they were more attracted towards the guy who had more testosterone in his body [the bodybuilder] - just by feeling his hand - than the more 'cuter' looking guy.

In Shamâ´il al-Muhammadiyyah (by Abû ‘Isâ at-Tirmidhî (d. 279 AH)) - there is a narration describing Allah's Messenger;


Alî bin Abû Tâlib (RA) said:

The Prophet, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam, was neither tall nor short. His hands and feet were heavy and thick. He had a large head, large bones and a long line of [fine] hair extending from his chest to navel. When he walked, he leant forward as if descending a slope. I have not seen anyone, before him or after him, who was comparable to him [2]

2 Reported by at-Tirmidhî [al-Manâqib]. The sentence, "His hands and feet were heavy and thick," along with the last sentence are reported by Bukhârı [al-Libâs] from Anas (RA).

Ibn Battâl said, 'His, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam, hand was fleshy, it was large and thick, but despite this it was soft as is established in the hadîth of Anas recorded in the Sahîh, "I have not touched silk, or silk brocade, that was softer than his hand, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam,"

May Allah make us like RasulAllah in every way, ameen.







So what is it, the bodybuilder or the 'cute' guy?


So what's happened now is that a woman doesn't just go for a guy based on looks alone, but feeling a persons hand can even change her decision on who she would want to be with.


Why do they like the guy with more testosterone? The answer is that the reason why guys are more masculine is because of the fact that they have more testosterone in their body than females.

And the reason why females are different to males is because they have less testosterone in their body but have more oestrogen (a female chemical.)


So the more testosterone you have in your body – the more likely you'll be 'manly' (more like a male/masculine.)

The more oestrogen you have in your body – the more likely you'll be more like a female (feminine.)


The less you have of these hormones, the more you look like a baby or younger. That's because your body hasn't been affected by too much hormones.– so you're more 'cuter' than 'hotter'. Which isn't too bad.



Opposites attract, so a more masculine man would probably like a more feminine woman, and vice versa. That's because the male (with a high level of testosterone) will have a stronger desire to be with a more feminine (with more oestrogen) female [the same goes for the female wanting a more masculine male, because of more desire (due to a high level of oestrogen in her body).]


Males also like cute looking girls, but they would prefer to have one who is also strongly feminine - depending on how high his level of testosterone is.

So that means a high oestrogen woman - she would be like an adult woman, with stronger feminine features. I won't go into depth on this issue for modesty purposes, but basically – you all know the concept of the 'hour glass figure'.



The Marriage Scale?



This is the choice of the people who get married, but it may be that getting married to a person who matches you on the opposite side of a scale is the better person to get married to.



Lets take a look at the scale:
F -4 -3 -2 -1 O 1 2 3 4 M
- 4 is a high oestrogen female, and 4 is a high testosterone male. and 2 & -2 is average.


Now you won't literally be able to know the exact number the person is on the scale, but as an example – if you can match your number. on the scale, and compare it to the other potential marriage partner – if you're on a similar number i.e. you're no. 2 (average male) and they're no.-2 (average female). You may be a match. You won't be able to touch each other obviously, but you will kinda get an idea by looking at them (i.e. hearing their voice, look, bodily features etc. if you are wanting to get married with the aid of a wali [guardian.])





What's the importance of this anyway? There needs to be compatibility within a marriage. There may be a brother who has a strong sex drive compared to a woman who doesn't have that level, and she may feel it's a burden to be in this type of marriage. It might also estimate whether a guy would want to get married again, because the woman may be pregnant and if he has a high level of testosterone – he may need to get married again to prevent himself from committing sin. Or he may have a lower level of testosterone so he can remain patient during this period.







A Happy Ending!?

Some people may be getting worried that they don't fit this strong role of being extremely masculine or extremely feminine, and they become scared that they won't be that really good 'hot' person they've wanted to be.



One thing I will tell you for a fact is that with time, a person does mature. So if you're young yet, then it doesn't mean that you won't be that person you've wanted to be. All you need to do is to have a healthy diet and to exercise so that you can mature properly to how you should be according to destiny insha Allah. Since the healthy diet allows you to produce more 'healthier' hormones, and the exercise helps you pump them around your body more easily.




Alpha!


If you are that extremely masculine or feminine person – then remember to fear Allah. Studies have shown that people who have this high level of hormones in their body, they are 'alpha' figures, which means that they are much more likely to have people attracted to them (more specifically if physical contact takes place) or even drawn more towards fitnah, and when this happens – they can fall into sin, so people don't trust them, and they are liable to punishment. Sins remove blessings - So Allah can remove this goodness from you whenever He wills.




Why did I call this subtitle 'a happy ending'? Bros, It's because you don't have to be this totally 'hot' person to be that 'chosen one', you can be 'cute' too. The truth and shocking thing is, the majority of women don't want to remain with an 'alpha' male, they want someone who they like, who is committed, someone who's a nurturing figure, a reliable, caring male for a life partner for them and their kids. She also doesn't want an 'alpha male' because he might get married again, or she might have competition – that's a big no no for her. Therefore, by having an 'alpha' male, she'll fear to lose him, so she will prefer the one who is more committed.



And sisters, the majority of brothers want the same as you do, a caring, committed companion, and a lifetime partner. If a woman is that nex girl because she's really feminine – he's scared to lose you, so if he can't please her, or give her her true rights – then she could ask for a divorce (through khula') and get married to any another man – he doesn't want to go through that since guys feel gheerah (protective jealousy) over women – even if these women aren't theirs, so if he's clever – he'll pick the one he can survive with, besides he may prefer the more 'cuter' one because he feels shes on the 'same level as him'. If you can steal his heart – then he's yours to keep! Insha Allah.




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Al-Zaara
06-01-2008, 01:57 PM
Selam aleykum we rahmetallahu we berekathu brother,

SUBHAN'ALLAH!

You're so good at writing stuff like this, I'm so amazed subhanAllah! You're very gifted and talented, jazakAllah kheyr with Jannah for writing these and help the Muslims!!

I read it actually two times and so fast, I actually felt dissappointed it ended already! But as it's said, "less is better".

Really good post!! MashaAllah!!
Reply

Snowflake
06-01-2008, 02:05 PM
asalam alaikum wr wb,

LOL! overall quite interesting.. but hormones fluctuate through our entire life so I don't see how that's linked with looks right? Or did I miss something :?

wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
Reply

- Qatada -
06-01-2008, 02:12 PM
:salamext:


Basically, some people have a more higher level of hormones compared to others.. due to people having different genetics. So the same way some people are physically stronger than others, then there are others who may be genetically affected by an increase in hormone levels compared to other people etc. especially during their adolescent period.


your body is affected by these hormone levels, so people who have more hormone reactions in their body might be more feminine or masculine, compared to a people who don't have that same level. wa Allahu a'lam. hope that makes sense..


jazak Allah khayr sis zaara, ameen to your dua
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-01-2008, 03:46 PM
:sl:

MashaAllah, this was wonderful. You do write very well. May Allah(swt) bless you bro, Ameen. Your posts are always good to read. JazakAllah Khair.

:w:
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Nájlá
06-01-2008, 04:32 PM
mashallah that was wonderful
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crayon
06-01-2008, 06:42 PM
Really awesome article! I really enjoyed reading it, I must find more of your stuff to read, inshallah!
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Na7lah
06-01-2008, 07:07 PM
that was a nice read :D jazakallah kulal khair!
Reply

------
06-01-2008, 07:12 PM
:salamext:

No offence, but there are kids on this forum.

It should be moved to the brothers section InshaaAllaah.

I hope you get where I am coming from...a bit of detail for under 16's.
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Umar001
06-01-2008, 07:14 PM
After reading this I'm totally confused.
Reply

Tania
06-01-2008, 07:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi
After reading this I'm totally confused.
I like it :) and its a good teaching for youngest who will look after their body.
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------
06-01-2008, 07:31 PM
:salamext:

Hmm....... I still stand by my above post.
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Woodrow
06-01-2008, 08:23 PM
Quite interesting. Appropriate for all of our members? No, but few things are. we have members of all ages and of all backgrounds the evaluation criteria needs to be if there will be any severe damage or trauma done to any this is not age approptiate for.

Bluntly speaking, any child old enough to attend school has been subjected to worse. The article is not encourging inter-gender idle conversation.

My humble opinion is the value of this thread out weighs any potential harm.

I can not see any need to move, close or delete it.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-01-2008, 08:24 PM
^^ I agree.
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------
06-01-2008, 08:29 PM
:salamext:

Oh sorry, it's the mod's opinion that counts, I forgot.

Assalamu Alaikum
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-01-2008, 08:32 PM
:w:

Ehh I hope that wasn't to me. Btw, he never said his opinion counted sis...:X
I didnt really see anything wrong with it....:X I mean not severely.

:sl:
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Khalisah
06-01-2008, 08:40 PM
After reading this... I'm a little scared..
Reply

Snowflake
06-01-2008, 08:44 PM
asalam alaikum wr wb,


format_quote Originally Posted by - Qatada -
:salamext:


Basically, some people have a more higher level of hormones compared to others.. due to people having different genetics. So the same way some people are physically stronger than others, then there are others who may be genetically affected by an increase in hormone levels compared to other people etc. especially during their adolescent period.


your body is affected by these hormone levels, so people who have more hormone reactions in their body might be more feminine or masculine, compared to a people who don't have that same level. wa Allahu a'lam. hope that makes sense..


jazak Allah khayr sis zaara, ameen to your dua
Um, I don't know to be honest.. it's more complex than that I think .. however we're not experts so best leave hormones alone lol



format_quote Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

No offence, but there are kids on this forum.

It should be moved to the brothers section InshaaAllaah.

I hope you get where I am coming from...a bit of detail for under 16's.
LOL! it did make me blush a few times while I was reading it - but it's beneficial inshaAllah. Are the any under 16's here? :?

wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-01-2008, 09:11 PM
Uhh did I miss something? :X
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
06-01-2008, 09:32 PM
:sl:

Fantastic Masha'Allaah, just like all the other pieces you've written. You should really write more (!) and then compile them all into a book and officially publish it (not as a business scheme), but so it reaches an even greater audience because, really, it is so beneficial and it really relates to the youth and bi'idhnillah can help out a lot of people in the colleges/unis and highschools. And besides, anyone that reads it and benefits from it and acts upon it, you're ajr is only getting multiplied :D
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------
06-02-2008, 08:10 AM
:salamext:

format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
Are there any under 16's here? :?
Yeh.

format_quote Originally Posted by Jazzy
Uhh did I miss something? :X
Forget it.
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cute123
06-02-2008, 08:42 AM
nice article. jazaikhair
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Huma*
06-02-2008, 10:02 AM
:salamext:

Mashaallah great article really like it, Jazakallah for posting.
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 10:39 AM
I read it again and I don't get some parts, we can determine the energy in the marriage area of an individual by how much testostorone they have, and this can be seen by looking at how deep their voice is and how muscly they are?
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crayon
06-02-2008, 10:58 AM
Think of it this way, the man and woman have to balance each other out. Alpha males are balanced by alpha females. So a guy with a lot of testosterone would be compatible with a woman with a lot of estrogen. An average guy would work with an average woman; they would balance each other out. If a guy with a high level of testosterone married a woman with a low estrogen level, they wouldn't be compatible. Same thing the other way around.

Testosterone makes you masculine, estrogen makes you feminine. So guys with more more testosterone have more masculine features, such as deeper voices, facial hair, muscles, etc. Girls with more estrogen are more feminine, higher voices, softer features, etc.

So just a thought..
Do hormone levels also influence personality? I'm thinking yes, but does anyone know for sure?
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 11:04 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
Think of it this way, the man and woman have to balance each other out. Alpha males are balanced by alpha females. So a guy with a lot of testosterone would be compatible with a woman with a lot of estrogen. An average guy would work with an average woman; they would balance each other out. If a guy with a high level of testosterone married a woman with a low estrogen level, they wouldn't be compatible. Same thing the other way around.

Testosterone makes you masculine, estrogen makes you feminine. So guys with more more testosterone have more masculine features, such as deeper voices, facial hair, muscles, etc. Girls with more estrogen are more feminine, higher voices, softer features, etc.

So just a thought..
Do hormone levels also influence personality? I'm thinking yes, but does anyone know for sure?
I understand what you're saying, but let me give you an example, asian males and females are very hairy, even though alot of them are not 'alpha' they may not have low voices, in that respect I have seen afrian males less hairy but deper voices and more mascular.

So for example, me, I'm not hairy, nor do I have a very deep voice. Is that neccesarily due to me having not as much testostorone as a hairy asian woman?

I would have thought it would also depend on where you are from?
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crayon
06-02-2008, 11:19 AM
Ahh okay, I see what you're saying..Hmmm, that's a good point.
When does the amount of body hair, for example, stop being testosterone and start being genetics?
I think testosterone only starts hair growth during puberty, and then it's genetics?:?:X
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 11:24 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
Ahh okay, I see what you're saying..Hmmm, that's a good point.
When does the amount of body hair, for example, stop being testosterone and start being genetics?
I think testosterone only starts hair growth during puberty, and then it's genetics?:?:X
Hmm, maybe, and maybe if we compare like wih like, for example, me and my little bro, although he aint fully grown and all he is considerably more hairy than I was at his age, but then again he was born hairy.
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crayon
06-02-2008, 11:37 AM
If he was born hairy I think it's genetics, since testosterone only increases in males during puberty, right?. So it's a combo of genetics and testosterone?.. Maybe there are hormones other than testosterone that play a part in hair growth?

I was just googling about this and I found this: "Pills that have a high estrogen content may be more likely to cause hair growth in women." In response to a woman on birth control who had suddenly grown hair everywhere. So high levels of estrogen also cause hair growth, apparently.

Oh, and I edited out the link because it was about men born females...:X
I guess it does relate to what we're talking about, though..
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 11:42 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
If he was born hairy I think it's genetics, since testosterone only increases in males during puberty, right?. So it's a combo of genetics and testosterone?.. Maybe there are hormones other than testosterone that play a part in hair growth?

I was just googling about this and I found this: "Pills that have a high estrogen content may be more likely to cause hair growth in women." In response to a woman on birth control who had suddenly grown hair everywhere. So high levels of estrogen also cause hair growth, apparently.

Oh, and I edited out the link because it was about men born females...:X
I guess it does relate to what we're talking about, though..
Oh I don't know. I'm still confused on matters other than this, like, is beauty something that can be defined objectivly? Or is beauty learned?

I thought it was learned, i.e. that we learn what is beautiful, not that we instinctivly know what is.
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Tania
06-02-2008, 11:42 AM
The hormones could tell us exactly what kind of personality must have the other half. Its a new perspective of the relations.
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------
06-02-2008, 11:44 AM
:salamext:

It's silly in my opinion. Get married and keep your trust in Allah. Khalaas.
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 11:48 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

It's silly in my opinion. Get married and keep your trust in Allah. Khalaas.
Wa Alaykum Salam wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

It would make things easier to have some common ground though.

And coming to my previous thing, do scholars really use the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him as a determination of what is beautiful and not?
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------
06-02-2008, 11:52 AM
:salamext:

^ Common ground is based on communication, honesty and trust.
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crayon
06-02-2008, 11:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi
Wa Alaykum Salam wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

It would make things easier to have some common ground though.

And coming to my previous thing, do scholars really use the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him as a determination of what is beautiful and not?
I was of the impression that that was the definition of Arab beauty at the time, I don't think there's an islamic definition for what beauty is.

And yeah, about whether beauty is learned or instinctive, it's an interesting question... something to think about.
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Snowflake
06-02-2008, 12:04 PM
asalam alaikum wr wb,


Lol, confusing or what!

ok, looking back from everything I've ever read in my life, I think that both genetics and hormones play a part in physical appearence, but largely genetics.

Why genetics? Because we share similar features to one/both parents etc.
Why Hormones? Because the developing persons body needs these hormones to help it develope i.e. testostrone makes a a person hairy in general. So hormones support the genes to achieve their task? :p

But like habeshi bro said, genetics seems to have the upperhand when it comes to physical appearence. I don't think a genetically less hairier likes to think or even lacks in testostrone, since that also depends on your ethnicity.

However the increase or decrease in hormones via oral route can affect the natural appearence as we know transexuals are given hormones to make desired changes according to the type of sex change they require. And it's also true that some men/women who appear masculine/feminine and whose appearence is appropriate to their gender through genetics, may not behave as they look because deficiency or increase of hormones has given them charateristics of the opposite sex. For example:

1) a feminine looking woman may have male tendencies such as be more aggressive, get hairier, develope a deeper voice

2) masculine looking males begin showing feminine characteristics, such as (Id rather not say)

So can we safely say that hormones can affect the appearence during developement and can alter it at any time but overall if they are balanced then it's due to genetics what a person looks like?


lol blahhh, I only just kinda get that myself.




wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
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Nawal89
06-02-2008, 12:20 PM
MashaAllah that was a good article and unlike Muslimah_ sis i didnt blush. I did find the comparision between the body builder and the normal guy funny though.
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 12:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

^ Common ground is based on communication, honesty and trust.
Wa Alaykum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

If a guy likes a forward wife, and a wife hates being forward then what?

format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
I was of the impression that that was the definition of Arab beauty at the time, I don't think there's an islamic definition for what beauty is.

And yeah, about whether beauty is learned or instinctive, it's an interesting question... something to think about.
I thought that too, well abit different understanding but similar.

As for beauty, I think it is learned.
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06-02-2008, 12:28 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi
Wa Alaykum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

If a guy likes a forward wife, and a wife hates being forward then what?
Come to an agreement.
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Souljette
06-02-2008, 12:47 PM
I don't think many marriages work like dat..the world would be a better place if that was possible but a person has to relate to the other person somehow in someways in my opinion
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 12:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by - Serene -
Come to an agreement.
It is not that easy, it is not a matter of disagreement by choice. It is a matter of not being able to, you know how much fustration that can create?
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crayon
06-02-2008, 12:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by - Serene -
Come to an agreement.
Why not just marry someone you're compatible with in the first place?:?
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------
06-02-2008, 12:55 PM
:salamext:

Ohmydayz man, all am saying is that this thread should be moved to the brothers section because such issues should not openly be discussed. (what is the point of having mods that dont even do their work) :-\
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Malaikah
06-02-2008, 12:58 PM
:sl:

Relax, sister, the post isn't that indecent...
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 01:01 PM
Wa Alaykum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

I was just saying that having common ground in cultural issues is an important thing.
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Souljette
06-02-2008, 01:02 PM
I think everyone whose on this forum are grown enough and if they aren't their attention span won't really drag along for 3 pages lolz..specially people who live in the states, UK and Canada , Dubai around dere..already know about the human body ..they learn it in school
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- Qatada -
06-02-2008, 01:42 PM
:salamext:


i think its gettin alot of criticism, which is something good alhamdulillah in some ways, but showing that i wasn't totally accurate in my explanations which can be something bad maybe..


in the article, i spoke in a general sense.. wa Allahu a'lam, i know there are other factors aswell which affect this kind of stuff, but i know that it isn't permissible for a woman or guy to touch each other before marriage [which the study was based on], so i had to try to explain other factors which may have been affected by high testosterone/high oestrogen levels - so the people could understand that compatibility is needed - since some people can be harmed if there isn't any compatibility.

i couldn't go into deep details about how there are differences to the norms with different people, since that would take ages to explain - since people are different, so i had to go around a general rule or pattern, and since the article was targetting late teens or people who were curious about something related to the topic - i had to be basic, while using some terminology which they were used to (yeah they are, they hear it all the time.)


i'm sorry if anyone got offended by it, and insha Allah i'll take the criticism into account in future articles if Allah wills for me to make something else. mods can move it if they think its fitnah or anythin insha Allah.



wa Allahu a'lam.
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Tania
06-02-2008, 02:04 PM
I don't want to loose my subscription to the thread, so please don't move it. Thank you
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06-02-2008, 02:05 PM
edit
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Umar001
06-02-2008, 02:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by - Qatada -
:salamext:


i think its gettin alot of criticism, which is something good alhamdulillah in some ways, but showing that i wasn't totally accurate in my explanations which can be something bad maybe..
Wa Alaykum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa barakatuh,

Not getting that much critisism, and it doesnt neccesarily show you didnt explainn properly, it could be that the people that didnt understand are just not that bright in this part of life. :statisfie
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sevgi
06-02-2008, 03:04 PM
hehe cool article..write that urself bro?

some bits were like..what i she sayn..so i didnt get to the very end..skimmed it..forgive me.

bt its really cool to read a contemporary and scientific explanation into the mind of the woman...so to speak.

major note: women are confused freaks.:P

we are..i swear.

ignore us...and u will lead a happy life. bt wen u find one of us who is special...who stands out..grab her!!!so to speak....

as for all the fuss happening in this thread..i dno wats happening...bt im sure there is no need for it...

women just dno what they want...uve done a good job trying to understand and explain...
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- Qatada -
06-02-2008, 03:30 PM
:salamext:


i posted this on another site too, and i got alot of dif responses.. yeah alot of people got confused by it - due to the different content within the article.. but i purposelly did it like that lol, cuz it makes the people go over it twice to really understand it. :) Allahu a'lam
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-02-2008, 03:30 PM
Umm maybe I'm learning it too much in class, that it didnt bother me or....I wasnt thinking that shameful kinda way....

I jus took it like science. My bad :X


I think everyone whose on this forum are grown enough and if they aren't their attention span won't really drag along for 3 pages lolz..specially people who live in the states, UK and Canada , Dubai around dere..already know about the human body ..they learn it in school
My thoughts exactly...
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------
06-02-2008, 03:40 PM
:salamext:

^ As usual, my opinions don't count. Allow dis, am out

Assalamu Alaikum.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-02-2008, 03:42 PM
Lol chillax sis :-[ No one said it didnt count....gosh. All opinion s count... It's called discussion my precious lol >.<
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Al-Zaara
06-02-2008, 03:54 PM
^ Exactly.

I was told about stuff like this before I even filled 9 years, at school. This article is almost too nice in my opinion. No need to move it, if children come across it they'll probably not even stay here for long. These days I'm sure, children who learn about this, will find the article "too nice" or boring.
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sevgi
06-02-2008, 03:58 PM
umm...

i dnt see how this is abt the 'human body'..

its more feminine psyche..

meh..

and ummm zara??? what happened to ur modhod???
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Al-Zaara
06-02-2008, 04:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
umm...

i dnt see how this is abt the 'human body'..

its more feminine psyche..

meh..

and ummm zara??? what happened to ur modhod???
You're right.. It actually is more like feminine psyche!

P.S. I left my position light-years ago! :-[ You've been away.. imsad
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Souljette
06-02-2008, 04:08 PM
female psyche is the word lolz
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-02-2008, 04:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi
After reading this I'm totally confused.
me too lolll



;D
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sevgi
06-02-2008, 04:26 PM
me and my words...hehe..good to see ive "put my finger on it"..

yes i have been away..bt this is not the place to dicuss the likes...dnt wana get the mods on us..:P
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-02-2008, 04:39 PM
Omg, I dont get it. There was nothing dirty about the post....
And the bro didnt even go in detail.
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Souljette
06-02-2008, 04:44 PM
LOlz ok sis Jazzy breatheee lolzz.z..dere just confused..read it ova again ppl..that's almost bro Qatada's objective
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-02-2008, 04:45 PM
^^lol I am breathing :X If i wasnt i wouldnt be here :p Ha.
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Souljette
06-02-2008, 04:46 PM
OK..u know wht i meant..inhale exhale..ok sorry fr off topic comment
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Snowflake
06-04-2008, 09:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Nawal89
MashaAllah that was a good article and unlike Muslimah_ sis i didnt blush. I did find the comparision between the body builder and the normal guy funny though.
asalam alaikum wr wb,
It wasn't the article in general but the girls convo discussing 'hot' & 'cute'. I hate the term 'hot', it's just such a cheap and embarrassing way to describe someone.. :p


So that means a high oestrogen woman - she would be like an adult woman, with stronger feminine features. I won't go into depth on this issue for modesty purposes, but basically – you all know the concept of the 'hour glass figure'.
A girl with a cute face can have an hour glass figure one with strong facial features can have a boyish body. Same applies for men. So that's not really true. :X

wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
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