I ThInK I FoUnD My SoULmAte

[chacha_jalebi]

as salaam ma alaykaam

checkkkk ittt

Im happy that i have found my soulmate
Jealous people givin me dirty looks, its not like we on a date
I love spendin my night chattin away to my one
Fools sayin i stupid, but what wrong have i done

One day il be married, i jus wana know them before i commit
If i tell my dad, he will marry me back home and then il be in s**t :embarrass
So il just wait a while, i know this is what they call love
So who cares when the loners huff and puff!!

But now i dont know whats happen to my other “half”
It didnt work out, he told me, it was fun not love
"Move on, it wouldnt have worked anyway, Im from here and your from there"
with tears in my eyes i try to tell him does anyone care

I realise now, if it was meant to happen it would
I feel so used, i wana dig myself a hole and hide if i could
Now i fear no one will want me because of my past
So i realise i should have listened and now i will change myself fast!

subhanallah some of us, find ourselfs in this situation

the way i see it, if someone loved you so much, wouldnt they just marry you lol and andddd aaa just enjoy the lines :-[

[IbnAbdulHakim]

tru say bro

find the one marry the one no long thing :D coz haram situations just dont help


o wait take that bak, u gotta get a car/house/job and please every single fish of their side first actually :ooh: so yeh its a long thing :-\

[Sahabiyaat]

o wait take that bak, u gotta get a car/house/job and please every single fish of their side first actually :ooh: so yeh its a long thing :-\

i know :blind: lets just all give up

for one moment i thought you found chachi jee :D

[chacha_jalebi]

i believe these financial stuff is just all hoo dee haa daa haaa:D

like imagine you like 20 you still in education, found someone marriage able, marry them, who said you need a massive weddin, and im sure they can just move in with you if they wan lol, and then when your able you can buy a bigger house or summin, and cars and all that can also come

like hadhrat Ali (ra) he didnt have anythin to give Hadhrat Fatima (Ra) for a weddin gift, so he sold his shield to Hadhrat Uthman (ra) who in return gave it back tooo him as a weddin prezzy subhanallah! so the moral is, marriage isnt like all this money, its eheazeee people complicate it

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[chacha_jalebi]

but then also lol im gona refute my previous post :(

like you cant put the girl in a awkward situation, like she should have her own space and that you cant expect her to be kool, livin in a crowded house full of your ugly relatives:p

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

One of the ways for increasing your Rizq which is very commonly overlooked is actually to get married. I mean, you need to be somewhat stable, but you shouldn't wait till you're making 6 figures to get married..

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ its not overlooked

it just cant be overcome :p

[chacha_jalebi]

:sl:

One of the ways for increasing your Rizq which is very commonly overlooked is actually to get married.

thank youuuu lol someone agrees lol

like all this stuff will come, car, house, diamond rings

jus get married 1st lol!

but the girl should have some sort of security feelin first aswell

[FatimaAsSideqah]

:ooh: *outta*

[Sahabiyaat]

Girls dont actually mind moving into a crowded house! As long as everyone treats her nice.
what they are apprehensive about is everybody dumping ALL their responsibilities on her and her having to rush around and wait on everybody hand and foot, until at the end of the day she is exhausted and really does want to move out!
apart from that its nice to have a big family :)

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

^ its not overlooked

it just cant be overcome :p

Soo true!

jus get married 1st lol!

Ameen! :D

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

Wow SubhanAllah :ooh:

[chacha_jalebi]

Girls dont actually mind moving into a crowded house! As long as everyone treats her nice.
what they are apprehensive about is everybody dumping ALL their responsibilities on her and her having to rush around and wait on everybody hand and foot, until at the end of the day she is exhausted and really does want to move out!
apart from that its nice to have a big family :)

subhanallah mashallah @ yaa :D agreed big families are better,

also many girls often forget one massive factor, they expect the guy to buy them a massive house or some luxurious flat with one bedroom lol

erm erm what happens to the guys parents? he has to fulfill their rights aswell so any good son, and any good wife will want her in laws their and with her!

this fits in this thread lol

http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-...dilemmass.html

[Re.TiReD]

:sl:

One of the ways for increasing your Rizq which is very commonly overlooked is actually to get married. I mean, you need to be somewhat stable, but you shouldn't wait till you're making 6 figures to get married..

:wasalamex

Hmm ok I didnt read the posts properly before :-[

Its true that you dont need the 6 figures but sometimes the dude wants to 'feel' financially stable enough to provide for his bride (Insha'Allah)....And I guess....well personally I know of people who are in the same situation...

But in reference to the 'lines'.....its sad when stuff like that happens, people get to 'know' one another, get caught up in emotional hoohaa and then figure that they aint made for one another. Pffft!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

But in reference to the 'lines'.....its sad when stuff like that happens, people get to 'know' one another, get caught up in emotional hoohaa and then figure that they aint made for one another. Pffft!

i would like an explenation of what is meant by "Pffft!" right here.

I am certain it bares great significance to explaining what you are attempting to say


so please expand

[chacha_jalebi]

many people know from the start, but for some reason they still decide to carry on you know

and lol yes please expand pfft :D

[Re.TiReD]

Hmmm.....:skeleton:

Its not important....But what chachi said is also true, some people know from the start but then the other person convinces you that you're the one....which is almost like the line in the poem about fun not love....Its just time pass and blaaarrrffff :skeleton:

Nice lines btw :D

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:wasalamex

Hmm ok I didnt read the posts properly before :-[

Its true that you dont need the 6 figures but sometimes the dude wants to 'feel' financially stable enough to provide for his bride (Insha'Allah)....And I guess....well personally I know of people who are in the same situation...

:wasalamex

Yes. That's exactly what happens..the brothers for a variety of reasons very much fear proposing to a sister. You have no idea. Top of the list of fears are a) scared of being rejected and 2) fearing that they won't be able to provide for her. The fact is, brothers are intimidated by sisters for a variety of reasons.

So what happens on the sisters side? They're not being proposed to, and so they say: 'why should I do nothing and wait, I'll complete my education' and this takes another couple of years. The reason for this being that 'what if the marriage doesn't work out..I'm going to need a back up plan'.

The brother who waited until he was financially stable still doesn't propose to the sister. Why? Because now he's intimidated by her level of education and he's like: 'How can I marry someone far more educated than me?'.

So he waits further even after he thinks he is financially stable, and she waits to get her Master's degree or PHd and by the time this happens, both are in their late twenties or even mid thirties and unmarried. Neither had their priorities in the right order.

There are a variety of reasons these scenarios form, and on the top of the list is: Not having Tawakkul upon Allaah. Not being confident. Having a negative mindset from the start 'What if the marriage ends in divorce?'. When two individuals get married, they need to make sure that on their lists of back up plans, divorce is non-existent. Marriage is what the couple makes it, and if they have an 'ill divorce and run off' mindset, then that is what is going to happen.

Shaykh Yaser Birjas has presented an awesome lecture on this very topic which is called: 'Crisis of Marriage in America':

http://ilmcast.com/crisis-of-marriage-in-america-22.htm

You should also check out:
http://iwannagetmarried.com/

[Re.TiReD]

Oh Btww.....Pfft....I is just lost for words is all. Its very rare people decide they wanna marry and involve parents from the word go...bigupz to them brothers and fishters :thumbs_up but to the rest....Hmm....I'd say it was doomed but others will disagree huh

[Re.TiReD]

:wasalamex

Yes. That's exactly what happens..the brothers for a variety of reasons very much fear proposing to a sister. You have no idea. Top of the list of fears are a) scared of being rejected and 2) fearing that they won't be able to provide for her. The fact is, brothers are intimidated by sisters for a variety of reasons.

So what happens on the sisters side? They're not being proposed to, and so they say: 'why should I do nothing and wait, I'll complete my education' and this takes another couple of years. The reason for this being that 'what if the marriage doesn't work out..I'm going to need a back up plan'.

The brother who waited until he was financially stable still doesn't propose to the sister. Why? Because now he's intimidated by her level of education and he's like: 'How can I marry someone far more educated than me?'.

So he waits further even after he thinks he is financially stable, and she waits to get her Master's degree or PHd and by the time this happens, both are in their late twenties or even mid thirties and unmarried. Neither had their priorities in the right order.

There are a variety of reasons these scenarios form, and on the top of the list is: Not having Tawakkul upon Allaah. Not being confident. Having a negative mindset from the start 'What if the marriage ends in divorce?'. When two individuals get married, they need to make sure that on their lists of back up plans, divorce is non-existent. Marriage is what the couple makes it, and if they have an 'ill divorce and run off' mindset, then that is what is going to happen.

Shaykh Yaser Birjas has presented an awesome lecture on this very topic which is called: 'Crisis of Marriage in America':

http://ilmcast.com/crisis-of-marriage-in-america-22.htm

You should also check out:
http://iwannagetmarried.com/

You missed out one part: The brother 'unofficially' proposes to the sister without getting parents involved and whilst all this waiting to become stable and waiting for the degree to be completed; they get caught up in emotional rubbish and attachment and then even if they later decided that maybe this girl is far too educated or that the guy would still not be able to provide - they wouldnt be able to coz of the past interaction that totally messed things up.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

You missed out one part: The brother 'unofficially' proposes to the sister without getting parents involved and whilst all this waiting to become stable and waiting for the degree to be completed; they get caught up in emotional rubbish and attachment and then even if they later decided that maybe this girl is far too educated or that the guy would still not be able to provide - they wouldnt be able to coz of the past interaction that totally messed things up.

Sorry for the confusion. I was speaking of a completely halal situation - not one where the two people interact and form an impermissible relationship.

[Al-Zaara]

No way. This is Marriage Section all over again.

Everybody save yourseleves!

[Re.TiReD]

Sorry for the confusion. I was speaking of a completely halal situation - not one where the two people interact and form an impermissible relationship.

Not a problem.

Main lesson - If you wanna get maried....just do it insha'Allah. Marry somebody pious for they will realise that a 6 figure amount will do nothing for the barakah we all want in our marriages. They'll realise that....basically its all about fulfilling the sunnah and the pleasure of the creator.

May Allah (swt) bless us all with righteous spouses and may He make them the coolness of our eyes. Ameen.

WassalamuAlaykum

[Tania]

I never believed someone who really found her/his soulmate would delay the marriage. Who wish to delay it its because she/he still its unsure about feelings and hope to get someone better.

[sevgi]

:sl:

getting married isnt as hard as we make it out to be....we expect too much...and we just overwhelm ourselves with junk.....and we put off things like marriage.

Allah helps those who are trying to get married for his sake. we all have families who would be more than happy to support and help out...we all have frends who would help out....and studying? c'mon...just priorotise man...ive been living away from home since i was 16...i feel married...cooking, cleaning, paying bills, looking after sick ones, helping kids with homework...and ive been studying all along....and it can be done.yeh you get tired...yeh you wish you had more "me" time.....but ur partner isnt dumb, deaf and blind (inshallah)....its about mutual help and understanding...

whud the guy work, come home, eat and then sleep? he can get off his bottom and make the salad, and then rinse the bloody dishes and wipe the table....he can sort his own dirty clothes while she pays the bills online...

and they can both study and work....Allah gave us 24hours....and will provide us with enough money for food, electro gadgets, internet and phone...trust me...

just try and do the right thing.

to tell you the truth...the poem below touched me. Jazakallah khayr...it is so true...so so so very true.

:w:

[youngsister]

:sl: ^I agree with you sis i think people are just more materialistic this days and with the nice religious husband they want the nice house with the nice car and the perfect ring lol
If you can get all that masha allah thats cool but getting into a haram relationship just because you dont have enough money now is a pathetic excuse and they are fooling themself.

also many girls often forget one massive factor, they expect the guy to buy them a massive house or some luxurious flat with one bedroom lol

erm erm what happens to the guys parents? he has to fulfill their rights aswell so any good son, and any good wife will want her in laws their and with her!

You dont have to be in the same house to fulfill their rights, when you get married and have a wife things do change.

I am not saying you cant live with your parents because is common amongs asian people...as long as you are all happy lol

As a muslim sister i wouldnt be able to live with non mahram how uncomfortable but everyone is different i gues.

[chacha_jalebi]

:sl:

getting married isnt as hard as we make it out to be....we expect too much...and we just overwhelm ourselves with junk.....and we put off things like marriage.

Allah helps those who are trying to get married for his sake. we all have families who would be more than happy to support and help out...we all have frends who would help out....and studying? c'mon...just priorotise man...ive been living away from home since i was 16...i feel married...cooking, cleaning, paying bills, looking after sick ones, helping kids with homework...and ive been studying all along....and it can be done.yeh you get tired...yeh you wish you had more "me" time.....but ur partner isnt dumb, deaf and blind (inshallah)....its about mutual help and understanding...

whud the guy work, come home, eat and then sleep? he can get off his bottom and make the salad, and then rinse the bloody dishes and wipe the table....he can sort his own dirty clothes while she pays the bills online...

and they can both study and work....Allah gave us 24hours....and will provide us with enough money for food, electro gadgets, internet and phone...trust me...

just try and do the right thing.

to tell you the truth...the poem below touched me. Jazakallah khayr...it is so true...so so so very true.

:w:

this is probably like one of the best posts ive read on this forum in a few months

subhanallah

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:sl:

getting married isnt as hard as we make it out to be....we expect too much...and we just overwhelm ourselves with junk.....and we put off things like marriage.:w:

incorrect we dont make it hard


our parents and guardians do :p

[Al-Zaara]

I have found my soulmate. :D And it's a she!




Doesn't need to be the hubby to be your soulmate, hmpf.


IbnAbdulHakim, for some the parents and guardians for others they themselves and for others someone/something else... At least we can except some trouble from somewhere. :skeleton:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

IbnAbdulHakim, for some the parents and guardians for others they themselves and for others someone/something else... At least we can except some trouble from somewhere. :skeleton:

agreed you lil genius


trouble always waiting to bite us eh

[Sahabiyaat]

exactly

isnt it you akhee who is always banging on about qadr or is that someone else.

we should firstly look inside ourselves and refine our own characters, which is easier sed than done :-[

[Al-Zaara]

Yeah, but for good stuff you gotta suffer, innit.

Thank you for calling me a genius, it made me look at my signature. Now I'm off ranting at our lil friend LI Staff...

[Sahabiyaat]

now i'm off ranting at our lil friend li staff...

:skeleton:

[chacha_jalebi]

for good stuff you gotta suffer .... heavyyy sister al zaara!

:D we need to look at how the sahaba got married, and then look at yourselfs

and we need to have one of them psychological breakin yourself down sessions :D

[IbnAbdulHakim]

exactly

isnt it you akhee who is always banging on about qadr or is that someone else.

we should firstly look inside ourselves and refine our own characters, which is easier sed than done :-[

yeh that'd be me


Qadr means wateva happens meant to happen :D

but whats that gotta do wiv this thread :| we're talking about the million conditions of a wali here :p yeh i kno its qadr


some crazy bros actually try meeting those million conditions, loll ;D

[Sahabiyaat]

:uhwhat

[------]

:salamext:

"Move on, it wouldnt have worked anyway, Im from here and your from there"
with tears in my eyes i try to tell him does anyone care

Deep stuff...

[Re.TiReD]

Nice...

[*~~AdAn~~*]

may allah help you

[Ayesha Rana]

lol at the 'ugly relatives' thing on page 1... not that i'm callin anyone ugly... :zip: