Beating your wife

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Hi,

I have copied and pasted a posting below from another thread which was agreed to be off-topic in that thread.

I was in response to a posting from a man about beating his wife.

The below quotes appear to suggest that the Qur'an supports the suggestion that husbands are allowed to beat their wives.

Please tell me this is not true?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Here is some information from IslamQA

Quote:
With regard to hitting one’s wife, this is not the first choice of ways to discipline her. First of all one should exhort and advise her. If that does not work, then (the husband) should forsake her in bed [i.e., not have conjugal relations with her]. If that does not work, then he may hit her, but not severely, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning);

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34].

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Quote:
If a woman rebels against her husband and disobeys his commands, then he should follow this method of admonishing her, forsaking her in bed and hitting her. Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: this means that it should not cause pain.

‘Ata’ said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator]

The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her.


Taken from >
http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=41199&ln=eng
http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=3347&ln=eng
 
Is the word "to beat up" a good word for what is quoted below?

‘Ata’ said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator]
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This is wrong. How can people beat up there wifes? Touch your wife in this country, and you will never see your kids again!

EDIT: I highly doubt, that in the Quran it says your allowed to :)
 
My dear brother in Islam qassy,

The Qur'an did allow the husband to make his wife realize that she did something wrong. but, may Allah have mercy upon you, we see that it is the last resort. They first talk to each, try to find a solution, then he forsakes the bed, and something in a range of a siwak hit is the last resort. Have you ever had a siwak in your hand?
 
Im sorry but I dont understand what siwak is, I googled it and it says its a miswak yes? That's just a wooden stick.

now

Every website, I have visited has its own interpretation of the Quran, and I am not going to give examples of as it would cause an argument.

Just because one souce says you can beat your wife, doesnt mean its allowed, because like i said every website has its own interpretation.

If your wife isint listing to u, I dont think you should take the eduacted apprrach and not beat her, because beating somone doesnt make them listen to you, it just maks them scared of you
 
Abdu-l-Majeed said:
My dear brother in Islam qassy,

The Qur'an did allow the husband to make his wife realize that she did something wrong. but, may Allah have mercy upon you, we see that it is the last resort. They first talk to each, try to find a solution, then he forsakes the bed, and something in a range of a siwak hit is the last resort. Have you ever had a siwak in your hand?
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Does the Qur'an allow a wife to beat her husband when he does something wrong?
 
Thinker said:
Does the Qur'an allow a wife to beat her husband when he does something wrong?
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Very good question, or your children or can you beat up the cook at the restaurant who gave you wife food poisoning ? All my life everyone has told me Islam is a calm, simple and violent free religion.
 
Thinker said:
The man in question was asking how many times he should 'beat' his wife with a stick!
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The man in question obviously isn't a learned person.

Im sorry but I dont understand what siwak is, I googled it and it says its a miswak yes? That's just a wooden stick.

now

Every website, I have visited has its own interpretation of the Quran, and I am not going to give examples of as it would cause an argument.

Just because one souce says you can beat your wife, doesnt mean its allowed, because like i said every website has its own interpretation.

If your wife isint listing to u, I dont think you should take the eduacted apprrach and not beat her, because beating somone doesnt make them listen to you, it just maks them scared of you
Click to expand...

My dear akhi,

A siwak or miswak is a small wooden stick which can be used for cleaning your teeth. You can throw a bunch of it at someone, it wouldn't hurt. Obviously, the matter isn't about using force and making someone realize something by force.
 
do people read what they want to see? i dont know. maybe some of you need eye glasses. the source that is quoted says nothing about beating your wife up. the source says you can hit her, hitting is not beating. and they clearly say the hit shouldnt cause her HARM OR INJURY, no bruising. it must be done lightly at best with a siwak stick which is small and doesnt even hurt. this ruling comes from the prophet Muhammad himself.

so plz if your quoting something read what they actually say, dont read what you want them to say and then twist what theyre actually saying.

where in the source you quoted does it say a man can beat his wife up, slap her, punch her, and etc etc. where????? oh wait it doesnt! go get eye glasses.
 
The_Prince said:
do people read what they want to see? i dont know. maybe some of you need eye glasses. the source that is quoted says nothing about beating your wife up. the source says you can hit her, hitting is not beating. and they clearly say the hit shouldnt cause her HARM OR INJURY, no bruising. it must be done lightly at best with a siwak stick which is small and doesnt even hurt. this ruling comes from the prophet Muhammad himself.

so plz if your quoting something read what they actually say, dont read what you want them to say and then twist what theyre actually saying.

where in the source you quoted does it say a man can beat his wife up, slap her, punch her, and etc etc. where????? oh wait it doesnt! go get eye glasses.
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Thank you for your sarcasm, and I know what the source is saying.
 
@ The Prince:

You're right, akhi. We should know that the Islam Q&A stuff doesn't change the wording of the question, and that's why the word "beat" stays there.

@ Whatsthepoint:

Allah knows best, I'd ask: do a man and a woman understand a hit equally?
 
Abdu-l-Majeed said:
Allah knows best, I'd ask: do a man and a woman understand a hit equally?
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What makes you think any of the them understand a hit? Hitting someone doesn't necessarily make them understand, but it will make them scared of you. Its like saying, when my sister gets married of and I found out the husband has been "hiting" her just because she doesnt do the things he saying. The husband would die the next day. Your wife is not your slave
 
 
Thinker said:
I am sure my wife will be much relieved to know that I am only allowed to hit her, not beat her!!! Amazing, absolutely amazing!!!
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So you hit your wife that hard? Al hamdu lillah, Islam isn't like that.

If you want to discuss this matter in the light of Islam, understand as Islam defines it, not as you define it, OK? ;)
 
:sl:
Hitting your wife to make her realise that she is wrong?
LoL Thats the worst thing you can do once you raise your hand say goodbye to your marriage, thats the worst thing you can ever do and in Islam *wife beating* aint allowed. Common sense..:w:
 
:wasalamex

My respected sister,

where does it say one has to beat his wife?

I think we should finish this thread as everyone wants to reply, but the topic has already been discussed as I see.
 
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