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AnonymousPoster
11-15-2008, 04:31 PM
some sister asked me:

umm just wanna ask you bout.. soft voice.. like i normally like to soft my voice weather its a girl and a boy.... espeically when i laugh when am shying atomatically my voice changes to soft.. i dunt knw why. does that mean i done zina of speaking?


to be honest i dont if thats part of zina. is it???
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FREAK-A-ZOID
11-15-2008, 04:44 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
some sister asked me:

umm just wanna ask you bout.. soft voice.. like i normally like to soft my voice weather its a girl and a boy.... espeically when i laugh when am shying atomatically my voice changes to soft.. i dunt knw why. does that mean i done zina of speaking?


to be honest i dont if thats part of zina. is it???
i dont get it:?
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noorseeker
11-15-2008, 04:46 PM
try not to make it soft around men,
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AnonymousPoster
11-15-2008, 05:35 PM
At least one person gets the thread.

anyone willing to tell the sister if its part of zina.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-15-2008, 05:42 PM
lol assalamu alaikum sister


soft voice meaning intentionally softening a voice and making it alluring in a flirtatious manner to attract the opposite sex.


OR to make it simpler, talking in a way to attract the opposite sex.



as long as you dont do that its all good inshAllah
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Zahida
11-15-2008, 05:48 PM
:sl: Mz always gets it right!!

Although it is better to be softly spoken at all times.........:w::bump1:
Originally Posted by Mz
lol assalamu alaikum sister


soft voice meaning intentionally softening a voice and making it alluring in a flirtatious manner to attract the opposite sex.


OR to make it simpler, talking in a way to attract the opposite sex.



as long as you dont do that its all good inshAllah
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Periwinkle18
11-15-2008, 05:49 PM
ok so if u do it intentionally rite,sometimes it just comes out soft.
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Abu Ilyas
11-15-2008, 06:06 PM
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[al-Ahzaab 33:32]



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Sahabiyaat
11-15-2008, 06:25 PM
some people naturally have softer voices and hard as they try, they cant talk like a man.


i try to talk like a man :D, but it all goes wrong :-[
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Periwinkle18
11-15-2008, 06:29 PM
lolz same ere
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Snowflake
11-15-2008, 06:33 PM
someone correct me if i'm wrong, but i understand 'be not soft in speech' as in the words that are spoken and not the actual sound of the voice itself.

after all as some sisters agree we cant change our voice but we can watch how we speak so as not to give the wrong impression. i.e. not be flirtatious and talk unashamedly. If someone is doing that it'll giv the wrong impression anyway even if they sound like a horse.
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Abu Ilyas
11-15-2008, 06:34 PM
Allah didn't say you have to speak rough and hard "but speak in an honourable manner” If you don't try to soften your voice then there's nothing wrong Insha'Allah.
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Snowflake
11-15-2008, 06:40 PM
^exactly
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Sahabiyaat
11-15-2008, 06:42 PM
oh i see

i always took it literally?

just dont flirt and speak to the point :thumbs_up i get it now.

phew, dont have to sound like a growling tiger anymore:D
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Snowflake
11-15-2008, 09:52 PM
lol@growling.. no that just sound rude and aggressive and no one would marry ya! lol
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kwolney01
11-15-2008, 09:58 PM
I naturally have a very soft voice and it would be really hard to try to deepen it lol that sounds so funny..lol :giggling:

As long as your not intentionally trying to make it softer around men then your fine.

I wish you the best sister!

Jazak Allah Khair
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Sahabiyaat
11-16-2008, 11:12 AM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
lol@growling.. no that just sound rude and aggressive and no one would marry ya! lol


:-[

lol, i dont really growl !!.although...i have um ....this really bad habit of trying to smile pleasantly just to put other people at ease, and this behaviour doesnt chnage when i have to speak to brothers, i dont mean to behave in the wrong way, but i need to learn to be a little less cheerful! and learn to look like this when speaking to brothers > :skeleton: lol.(that should give um nightmares!)
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Ansariyah
11-16-2008, 11:54 AM
The Prophet Muhamamd (pbuh) said:
“The reward of deeds depend upon the intentions, and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended.”
- 'Umar bin Al-Khattab, Vol. 8, Book 78, Number 680'
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Snowflake
11-16-2008, 01:21 PM
Sahabiyaat sis! rofl

it must look preet scary especially if you're talking to a bro with your gaze lowered and have a big cheshire cat grin on your face. *shivers*

it does take practice to change old habits though. I was taught in school to make eye-contact when talking to ppl. so when i found out abt lowering the gaze i found myself struggling to tear my eyes off the broz face i was talking to. what was more embarrassing was that a bro would have his eyes fixed on his feet when mine would be on him. astaghfirullah! but like i said, practice makes perfect. I'm well in control of my peepers now :D
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AnonymousPoster
11-16-2008, 02:36 PM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
lol@growling.. no that just sound rude and aggressive and no one would marry ya! lol
Funny you should say that, we got married yesterday.. I'm having second thoughts now :X

I didn't quite get the hadith myself, jazakAllaah khairun for clarifications.
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Sahabiyaat
11-16-2008, 02:40 PM
I knowwww tell me about it

the whole 'where to keep your eyes thing'!!

for e.g if im talking to a non muslim brother, its so uncomfortable, because they will find it ridiculous if you stare at your feet or to a point just away from there face. So you have to look at them right in the eye! :-[

if its a muslim, its a bit easier, i dunno why.

i can look brothers, muslims or non muslim, in the face ,only if they are far away from me, e.g during discussion in class.But if they are standing in close proximity, walllahi, it is the most uncomfortable place to be in:enough!:.Its ok with non muslims if they stand 2 inches away from you to talk to you because im thinking' you have no shame and you dont know any better!', but if its a brother :exhausted i want to run away! > but on the outside im like this > :) Salam, im not uncomfortable, i am pefectly normal with the foot of space between us, but could you just increase that by several more feet' lol.

oops, ive gone on too long :D
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Snowflake
11-16-2008, 04:03 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Funny you should say that, we got married yesterday.. I'm having second thoughts now :X

I didn't quite get the hadith myself, jazakAllaah khairun for clarifications.
Well some broz like bossy/fiesty sisters. So maybe the rough voice........ :p
btw, the hadith refers to intention in good things. There is no reward for good intention in doing haram things like robbing a bank to feed the poor. :D

Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
I knowwww tell me about it

the whole 'where to keep your eyes thing'!!

for e.g if im talking to a non muslim brother, its so uncomfortable, because they will find it ridiculous if you stare at your feet or to a point just away from there face. So you have to look at them right in the eye! :-[

if its a muslim, its a bit easier, i dunno why.

i can look brothers, muslims or non muslim, in the face ,only if they are far away from me, e.g during discussion in class.But if they are standing in close proximity, walllahi, it is the most uncomfortable place to be in:enough!:.Its ok with non muslims if they stand 2 inches away from you to talk to you because im thinking' you have no shame and you dont know any better!', but if its a brother :exhausted i want to run away! > but on the outside im like this > :) Salam, im not uncomfortable, i am pefectly normal with the foot of space between us, but could you just increase that by several more feet' lol.

oops, ive gone on too long :D
I just want to straighten something inshaAllah. We are allowed to look at the person we are addressing - just nor stare like this :uuh: i.e. look for a split second now and again. This is actually mentioned on another thread somewhere. So i'm not making it up.

As for space, yes, some broz dont realize how uncomfortable it is for a sis if they get too close. Personally im sick of crashing into goods on shelves in shops trying escape from touching a bro accidently. its as if some broz think they dont need to move away in such a small space and that you can pass through them like a ghost.

I think if you have pass broz in a small space its good to say a loud "excuse me plz!" and if they stand too close then to step back. that should give aloud and clear message.
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Sahabiyaat
11-17-2008, 10:00 AM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah

As for space, yes, some broz dont realize how uncomfortable it is for a sis if they get too close. Personally im sick of crashing into goods on shelves in shops trying escape from touching a bro accidently. its as if some broz think they dont need to move away in such a small space and that you can pass through them like a ghost.
those type of brothers actually stand in the way on purpose and dont move knowing that there might be physical contact when you pass.But ill never pass by knowing i might accidently touch them, so i just wait for them too look at me looking like this > :raging:, they usually move then lol.

decent brothers will immediatley move out the way if they see a sister passing by :)
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Snowflake
11-17-2008, 11:47 AM
^yes well we can't control the world, only ourselves :p
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Sahabiyaat
11-17-2008, 03:50 PM
yup :D
and carry a pen knife around with us
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-17-2008, 03:52 PM
lol i know those brothers can be annoying and i understand it but honestly what prevents you sisters from shouting?


sis scent next time your in a bookshop just say:

"bro i need to get past, make way please"



sis sahabiyaat just shout out:

"please make way, need to go home"




no need to wait, give angry faces or assume they intentionally disrupt your lives ;D



Assalamu Alaikum
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Sahabiyaat
11-17-2008, 05:23 PM
:enough!: i just cant

im such a chicken when it comes to plainly saying these things or blatantly getting up and moving away!

just today on my way back from uni a guy came and sat opposite me in the bus, put his feet up on the seat where id placed my bag, and sat there staring at me non stop, and just to my right there were several seats empty, and i kept thinking just get up and go over there, but i was too embarassed and shy to move.

Wallahi, the things we girls on our own have to go through, rude gestures,suggestive comments, and just plain shameless staring.

Sometimes it gets really bad like when your on your own, people start to follow you :skeleton:, and now its winter and i have to travel on my own in the dark.....:skeleton:

Just a few days ago i encountered a horrible similar situation*shivers*, and i was SO shaken and numb when i got home, ...times like that i wish i was married and could travel with my husband,then i wouldnt feel so exposed to the sick people out there!



ok...ive just gone on and on again..:-[
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Snowflake
11-18-2008, 12:52 AM
=Fighting4Iman;1048641]

sis scent next time your in a bookshop just say:

"bro i need to get past, make way please"
Thank you for your advice bro but why dont i pull up a 'Give Way' traffic sign from the street and carry it with me. Can't they see a sis needs to get past :enough!:



sis sahabiyaat just shout out:

"please make way, need to go home"
that wouldn't make sense if she was going toward the back of the shop ;D


nehow came to clarify something i'd said as it was bugging me...

what was more embarrassing was that a bro would have his eyes fixed on his feet when mine would be on him.
That does NOT in anyway mean I was looking at a brother in the wrong way astaghfirullah. But that I looked at facial expressions to 'read' coming reply. faces. :exhausted:phew
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Argamemnon
11-18-2008, 06:46 PM
It would be strange to look down when talking to someone. You should always look someone into the eyes occasionally and then look away. Some people take things literally, "lower your gaze" doesn't mean that you should never look someone into the eyes. Just don't look in a flirtatious manner.
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roohani.doctor
11-18-2008, 06:55 PM
lol at all your responses...

its true tho, some guys just stare at their feet the whole time you talk to them, and its weird looking at them look at their shoes...

anyhooo ive seen some girls get really high-pitched around guys and its hilarious to watch them :p
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Argamemnon
11-18-2008, 07:01 PM
Originally Posted by londonfog
anyhooo ive seen some girls get really high-pitched around guys and its hilarious to watch them :p
just wondering; what is high-pitched? i'm a non-native English speaker. i guess it's something like arrogant.
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Cabdullahi
11-19-2008, 08:30 AM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
:enough!: i just cant

im such a chicken when it comes to plainly saying these things or blatantly getting up and moving away!

just today on my way back from uni a guy came and sat opposite me in the bus, put his feet up on the seat where id placed my bag, and sat there staring at me non stop, and just to my right there were several seats empty, and i kept thinking just get up and go over there, but i was too embarassed and shy to move.

Wallahi, the things we girls on our own have to go through, rude gestures,suggestive comments, and just plain shameless staring.

Sometimes it gets really bad like when your on your own, people start to follow you :skeleton:, and now its winter and i have to travel on my own in the dark.....:skeleton:

Just a few days ago i encountered a horrible similar situation*shivers*, and i was SO shaken and numb when i got home, ...times like that i wish i was married and could travel with my husband,then i wouldnt feel so exposed to the sick people out there!



ok...ive just gone on and on again..:-[
Maybe you open yourself to these psychological attacks,guyz will always be like that...so its up to you to find ways not to get embarrassed...you have to learn the art of zoning out and being somewhere else when in timid situations and im sure you are very well capable of doing that :rollseyes

also to add to that ,after i read this thread it feels that we males are being brandished as groping monsters....making good use of everyday travel on public transport
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Sahabiyaat
11-19-2008, 04:44 PM
Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
Maybe you open yourself to these psychological attacks,guyz will always be like that...so its up to you to find ways not to get embarrassed...you have to learn the art of zoning out and being somewhere else when in timid situations and im sure you are very well capable of doing that :rollseyes
trust me akhee, after so many experiences you soon learn to 'zone out' lol.
and if you were to see me in such a situation, i am a vision of calmness and indifference, but interally i am in turmoil about my discomfort.Alhamdulillah i dont blush so easily anymore, otherwise everyone would see how uncomfortable i am!

also to add to that ,after i read this thread it feels that we males are being brandished as groping monsters....making good use of everyday travel on public transport
precisely.

and this isnt just public transport, Hajj is a hotspot for sick people like that, i have personally heard of many accounts of girls on hajj being touched or grabbed at whilst doing tawaaf.Its so embarassing just to hear it! let alone be in such a situation!

but then again theres absolutely nothing we can do, especially in crowded places like hajj. as for public transport, you cant really tell someone to stop staring at you, you just have to put up with it.

*sigh*
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Sahabiyaat
11-19-2008, 04:45 PM
Originally Posted by Argamemnon
just wondering; what is high-pitched? i'm a non-native English speaker. i guess it's something like arrogant.
its when girls get all stupid around guys and start giggling and squealing, closest example is unfortunately, a pig squealing:X
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-19-2008, 05:55 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat

but then again theres absolutely nothing we can do, especially in crowded places like hajj. as for public transport, you cant really tell someone to stop staring at you, you just have to put up with it.

*sigh*
subhanAllaah.


may Allah guide the men of this ummah, you shouldnt have to put up with that.


its extremely frustrating for me to read this, subhanAllah. Were i to see such a scene even once i think i would explode...



You should travel in groups or with a mahram (i realise this may be difficult in many occasions, its why im disappointed at our current state..)


Assalamu Alaikum
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Sahabiyaat
11-20-2008, 03:30 PM
i know akhee imsad, its really depressing sometimes...its just gives you such a shock, and you feel so afraid and vunerable.

May Allah protect us InshaAllah, just pray for us sisters!
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Argamemnon
11-20-2008, 04:18 PM
Men are shaytan! lol ... except me of course.
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Ansariyah
11-20-2008, 08:19 PM
Perverts.

Today, the guy at the halal store wudn't give me back my change...asking me to tell him my name first.

I decided to keep it zipped..

"I can wait" he went on to say......until this old guy came in...he gave me my change back.

I was ready to leave him the change!
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-20-2008, 08:28 PM
ooooooooooooo-K!

lets keep it in gender sections from now on, one more story and i'll explode (dont underestimate a mans gheerah)


ps: sisters - niqaab :thumbs_up
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ajnabee
11-20-2008, 08:41 PM
i had to butt in... sorry, but niqaab does jack all to protect muslimahs from muslim perverts... infact, in my experience the incidents are way more in number than without niqaab... sad to say.
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Güven
11-20-2008, 08:46 PM
uhmm....men are bad ? :-[
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-20-2008, 08:46 PM
^ disagreed. @ Ajnabee


*waits for more niqaabis to come back me up*
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ajnabee
11-20-2008, 08:51 PM
Originally Posted by Alpha Dude™
Hmm, I think the niqaab would at the least stop people from lusting after the beauty of a woman. Like, in the example that sister Yanoorah gave, if she had worn a niqab, perhaps the person at the counter might not have been so interested in asking for her name and treated her as just another person in the crowd?
:sl:

well, you would think so... *rolls eyes*

niqaab has the opposite effect of what it should, when it comes to some muslim men! :raging:
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-20-2008, 08:52 PM
Originally Posted by Güven
uhmm....men are bad ? :-[
you know im not so sure anymore


i always thought we were the nice gender imsad
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ajnabee
11-20-2008, 08:53 PM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
^ disagreed. @ Ajnabee


*waits for more niqaabis to come back me up*

u always disagree with me so it dont matter lol

but trust me on this one! i wore the niqaab to avoid the sickness that lies in some men, but to my HORROR, the incidents doubled!
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-20-2008, 08:53 PM
Originally Posted by ajnabee
:sl:

well, you would think so... *rolls eyes*

niqaab has the opposite effect of what it should, when it comes to some muslim men! :raging:
you know your walk/talk/actions/way you wear the Niqaab matters too i guess.


thing is both my sisters and bhabi wear niqaab, and before niqaab... lets say i burst with gheerah and now i dont :D
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ajnabee
11-20-2008, 08:56 PM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
you know your walk/talk/actions/way you wear the Niqaab matters too i guess.
what u tryna insinuate? lol
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-20-2008, 09:03 PM
Originally Posted by ajnabee
what u tryna insinuate? lol
ive re-written a statement 5 times before decided its best left unsaid :uuh:



may Allah protect the sisters and guide the men of the ummah
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Olive
11-20-2008, 09:07 PM
Originally Posted by ajnabee
what u tryna insinuate? lol
Some women, not directing this at you, although they wear the niqab - they way they talk, walk etc is what attracts some men. It's not just about covering up, it's your every action...

:w:
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ajnabee
11-20-2008, 10:08 PM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
may Allah protect the sisters and guide the men of the ummah
ameen. :thumbs_up

Originally Posted by Hanz
Some women, not directing this at you, although they wear the niqab - they way they talk, walk etc is what attracts some men. It's not just about covering up, it's your every action...

:w:
^ jazakallah khair, much appreciated.

and i understand ur point. but i think what attracts some men to niqaabis is the presumed "piety" that possibly emanates from the wearing of the niqaab rather than the talk/walk/actions/etc. of a woman.

anyways. i'll leave the thread now :-[ apologies if i offended anyone.

may allah keep us firm on the deen-ul-haqq and preserve our hayaa and make us among those who remain in a state of constant taqwa.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-20-2008, 10:38 PM
Originally Posted by ajnabee
and i understand ur point. but i think what attracts some men to niqaabis is the presumed "piety" that possibly emanates from the wearing of the niqaab
LOL no trust me that aint it ;D



Assalamu Alaikum
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ajnabee
11-20-2008, 10:55 PM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
LOL no trust me that aint it ;D

Assalamu Alaikum
:w:

i see u are disagreeing with me again. ^o)

its intriguing that u happen to know what goes on in the minds of PERVERTS.. lol

i give up tryna understand why they shamelessly harass/disrespect/degrade muslimahs. please enlighten me.

man, i was supposed to have left this thread! :hmm:
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-21-2008, 10:53 AM
Originally Posted by ajnabee
:w:

its intriguing that u happen to know what goes on in the minds of PERVERTS.. lol
or maybe i just dont think perverts will go after piety? :p


nah but i do see your point.

i dont know why people would harass niqaabi's sorry, unless they just have some shayateen deeply rooted in them.


its this very reason i accompany my sisters even to the corner store, i hate those typsa freaks.


Assalamu Alaikum
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Sahabiyaat
11-21-2008, 07:38 PM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
ooooooooooooo-K!

lets keep it in gender sections from now on, one more story and i'll explode (dont underestimate a mans gheerah)


ps: sisters - niqaab :thumbs_up
oh.....................and i was gna relate a whole load of um :X (we do not want you to explode akhee!)

including this weeks fresh ones, class fellows...coffee invitations....i wont say anymore.....:enough!::enough!::enough!:, i feel like getting my chapal off and killing someone!

especially when you start to feel its your fault this happens..:cry:, this thread has made me feel down now imsad
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Sahabiyaat
11-21-2008, 07:39 PM
oh and i got a niqaab at home, it came with a jilbaab set.............hmmmm....ima go find it....
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-21-2008, 08:04 PM
ok four things which affect such situations most:


"company - dress - form - place"






oh and



*XPLODES* :raging: :raging: :raging:
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Sahabiyaat
11-21-2008, 08:08 PM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
ok four things which affect such situations most:

"company - i was on my own
dress - i wear a jilbaab!
form - huh?
place" educational institution!

its doesnt matter akhee, it happens no matter who you are, where you are, what your doing.I say yes for niqaabs! :enough!:


oh and



*XPLODES* :raging: :raging: :raging:
:X
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-21-2008, 08:12 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
its doesnt matter akhee, it happens no matter who you are, where you are, what your doing.I say yes for niqaabs! :enough!:



:X
i realise that sis. Now i cant stop wondering if my sisters go through this and keep it inside and its kinda driving me nutz... (they travel alone now and then but they both niqaabi's, my bro NEVER lets my bhabi out alone though lol)

:raging:
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