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Cabdullahi
12-10-2008, 12:52 AM


Fascists governments .. left over products from the nazi regiment...
gully Americans and Europeans
Dropping depleted uranium
That leaves the cerebrum-
malfunctioning
Trapped in this perplexing junction
between two roads Im torn-
like a rosy couple glumly sat and gobsmacked in the maternity ward at the proclamation of a handicapped baby born
This is mental warfare ....its truly on!!
I have to stay righteous.. to god i verily belong
the earth has turned ugly ..and gave birth to a so called 'liberated' s.l.u.tty ....satanic women! who go through the agony of wearing a dental floss of a thong
im taunted for being mental
because i simply chose not to believe in a masonic entity.. its detrimentally suicidal
bogus christian monuments,and government buildings with symbolistic logo's that have six edges
forget consigning to their pharaonic bullcrap..i make no pledges
a soul saving loath
to utter this Luciferian oath
They are trying to put a black shade of concealing mascara to hide the massacres this is veracity!
Families with no running water and electricity
Total black out
Zionist louts
Food Blockades
undernourished kids running for cover from the invariable air raid
We have to stop this
And close down the many modern day auschwitz’s
My viable truth is so evident like the chicken coming home to roost...but nobody gets me
Fake Christians arose since after Jesus’s last steps in the garden's of gethsemane
for being god fearing they call us terrorists
but as typical conformists
we scream WE LOVE AMERICA! WE LOVE AMERICA!
Until we suffer the next successions of hysteria
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Cabdullahi
12-10-2008, 01:49 AM
this is abit hardcore.. but nonetheless it....looks like i had a poetic reaction:exhausted
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Cabdullahi
12-10-2008, 10:37 AM
bump
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Soulja Girl
12-10-2008, 11:38 AM
:sl:

Niice... Though I never understood some words... Like erm "uranium" and "cerebrum" :hmm:

You wroted this yourself?

:w:
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Cabdullahi
12-10-2008, 11:44 AM
salam sister....uranium is a chemical used in weaponry
and cerebrum is a section in our brains that controls movement
and yeah sister i wrote it myself
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Soulja Girl
12-10-2008, 11:51 AM
:sl:

^Oh oki... Me likes... :)

:w:
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Whatsthepoint
12-10-2008, 11:57 AM
It's got beat.
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Cabdullahi
12-10-2008, 11:58 AM
^....its got beat?
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Whatsthepoint
12-10-2008, 12:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
^....its got beat?
I'm not sure how to put this. It floats nice, when you read it. Sounds revolutionary.
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Cabdullahi
12-10-2008, 12:13 PM
^ its hard for me to believe what you said simply because ur a sarcastic fellow
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Whatsthepoint
12-10-2008, 12:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
^ its hard for me to believe what you said simply because ur a sarcastic fellow
I'm telling you I like it. I don't agree with everything it says but the poem itself is nice.
Of course, I may be reading it in a wrong way, perhaps the version that you thought of doesn't have the beat.
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Cabdullahi
12-10-2008, 12:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Whatsthepoint
I'm telling you I like it. I don't agree with everything it says but the poem itself is nice.
Of course, I may be reading it in a wrong way, perhaps the version that you thought of doesn't have the beat.
lol...then truly thanks brother for liking it!! ...brother it is not necessary for you to agree with everything ive said....my purpose is just to get people thinking and i am happy for an open minded discussion...
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Whatsthepoint
12-10-2008, 03:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
lol...then truly thanks brother for liking it!! ...brother it is not necessary for you to agree with everything ive said....my purpose is just to get people thinking and i am happy for an open minded discussion...
That's exactly what poetry (and art in general) should do.
Keep up the good work.
And here's an advice, you don't have to listen to it, it's just my thoughts: beat/rhythm is more important than rhyme. It's better to have two lines that don't rhyme than have a forced rhyme that damages the rhythm.
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Cabdullahi
12-11-2008, 01:34 AM
bump
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czgibson
12-11-2008, 01:42 AM
Greetings,

Whatsthepoint is right about avoiding forced rhymes. Rhythm is where it's at.

What's this bit about?:

because i simply chose not to believe in a masonic being that’s facially hexagonal
Peace
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Cabdullahi
12-11-2008, 01:54 AM
how about now?....thanks for the constructive criticism
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Re.TiReD
12-11-2008, 02:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by czgibson
Greetings,

Whatsthepoint is right about avoiding forced rhymes. Rhythm is where it's at.

What's this bit about?:



Peace
Bush? That's who comes to mind. Dont know what the bro meant though.
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