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Tasin
12-21-2008, 03:21 AM
Assalamwailakum brothers/sisters
I am a 15 year old teenage male that lives in New York City.
I am at that point where i think i want to be with a girl but i'm afraid of possible outcomes. My mom always tells me its against Islam to "have a girlfriend" is this true?
Are there any verses of the Quran or any Hadiths that say "having friendships with non-muslims of the opposite sex is haram" or if you're not allowed to do anything physical?
these girls are not muslim by the way
I know there's a hadith that the prophet (pbuh) said that "a man follow's his friends religion. be careful with you are friends with"
but what does the Quran say about having a relationship with a girl that isn't muslim?
(PS-I am of Bengali decent)

-Tasin
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-21-2008, 09:07 AM
wa alaykum us-salaam

at this point it doesnt really matter what is prohibited/allowed etc...what you should be concentrating on is obedience to your mother...
she has a very valid point in protecting you against such relationships...

I am at that point where i think i want to be with a girl but i'm afraid of possible outcomes.
you also have a very valid point fearing such outcomes...that fear in you alone is enough...

i advice you to grow a beard, hang out with the right crowd- i.e those who are pious and stay right away from any girl in the haram...
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themuffinman
12-21-2008, 08:51 PM
islam caters to our needs as human beings but we have to go according to its guidelines. if your interested in having a relationship i suggest marriage because it is the halal way to go about it. and these relationships only end up badly, what happens is you fall for a girl then 99% of the time it will end up in a break up leaving you hurt so i suggest staying away from these sort of things....trust me i can tell u from experience, nothing goods comes of it. your happy for a time being but its temporary
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Tasin
12-21-2008, 10:37 PM
So I obey my parents wishes like a good muslim then, so that means its more of a family issue rather than religious issue
and when i mean relationship i dont mean anything as drastic as sex, i mean like hanging out, watching movies, etc

Besides, when i was in bangladesh with my cousins they brought their girlfriends when they took my little brother and i bowling (they are good people let me assure you, one of them is getting married now actually) they asked if i had a girlfriend, maybe they assumed bengali?
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~Taalibah~
12-21-2008, 10:43 PM
Originally Posted by Tasin
Assalamwailakum brothers/sisters
My mom always tells me its against Islam to "have a girlfriend" is this true?

-Tasin
:w:
It is true.
If no one puts Hadith up by tomorrow, i'll post it up.
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-22-2008, 07:33 AM
Originally Posted by Tasin
So I obey my parents wishes like a good muslim then, so that means its more of a family issue rather than religious issue
no...your obeying your parents for the sake of allah, no? so it makes it a religious issue...
even if it were for the sake of your parents, your parents have aright to be obeyed anyways...just the same way you have to listen to your older siblings, etc...

and when i mean relationship i dont mean anything as drastic as sex, i mean like hanging out, watching movies, etc
avoid the smaller sins, that way inshallah you clear yourself of the larger ones...

Besides, when i was in bangladesh with my cousins they brought their girlfriends when they took my little brother and i bowling (they are good people let me assure you, one of them is getting married now actually) they asked if i had a girlfriend, maybe they assumed bengali?
just because everyone else is doing the haram, it doesn't make it right, right?
just like the portion of the worlds population being christian, Jewish etc...doesnt matter who/how many people are doing wrong, it still doesnt make it right...:thumbs_up
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Tasin
12-24-2008, 04:01 AM
its a sin to spend time with a person of the opposite sex?
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Yanal
12-24-2008, 04:03 AM
:sl:
It is haaram especially for a Muslim WITH a non Muslim.
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Woodrow
12-24-2008, 04:50 AM
Originally Posted by Tasin
its a sin to spend time with a person of the opposite sex?

:w:

The bittersweet joys and pains of youth and naive innocence. This is such a difficult time, how could things that seem so nice and filled with innocent thoughts be considered wrong and forbidden. Why is it the pleasures of child-like friendship ends and life becomes the world of approaching adulthood?

I am certain your intent is pure and innocent. But the reality is you are now at the age of being a protector of women. To protect our women we must shield them from all chances of illicit thoughts, including our own thoughts. For this we avoid unnecessary and idle contact with members of the opposite gender.
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