Out of work...‏

[Patience7]

received this in a mail..thought i would share it with u all...


> >> Desperately Need a Job
> >>
> >> I have been available from January 20, 2009 and I am willing to relocate.
> >>
> >> RESUME:
> >>
> >> GOERGE W. BUSH
> >> Last confirmed address:
> >> 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
> >> Washington, DC 20520
> >> *
> >> LAW ENFORCEMENT:
> >> * I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for
> >> driving under the
> >> influence of alcohol. I plead guilty, paid a fine, and had
> >> my driver's
> >> license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has
> >> been 'lost' and
> >> is not available.
> >>
> >> MILITARY:*
> >>
> >> ** I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I
> >> refused to take a
> >> drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By
> >> joining the Texas
> >> Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in
> >> Vietnam .*
> >>
> >>
> >> *EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
> >> * I graduated from Yale University by family connection
> >> with a low C
> >> average. I was a cheerleader.*
> >>
> >>
> >> *PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
> >> * I ran for US Congress and lost.
> >> * I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas
> >> in 1975. I bought
> >> an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The
> >> company went
> >> bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
> >> * I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart
> >> deal that took
> >> land using taxpayer money.
> >> * With the help of my father and our friends in the oil
> >> industry
> >> (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of
> >> Texas .*
> >>
> >>
> >> *ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS :
> >> * I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil
> >> companies, making
> >> Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my
> >> tenure, Houston
> >> replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in
> >> America.
> >> * I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune
> >> of billions in
> >> borrowed money.
> >> * I set the record for the most executions by any governor
> >> in American
> >> history.
> >> * With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and
> >> my father's
> >> appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of
> >> the United States
> >> after losing by over 500,000 votes.*
> >>
> >>
> >> *ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
> >> * I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office
> >> with a criminal record.
> >> * I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost
> >> of over one billion dollars per week.
> >> *I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
> >> * I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
> >> * I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
> >> 12-month period.
> >> * I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
> >> * I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.
> >> stock market.
> >> * In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and
> >> that trend continues.
> >> * I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
> >> administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire', Condoleezza** **Rice,has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
> >> * I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a US President. I am the all-time US and world record-holder for receiving
> >> the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign
> >> contributor and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
> >> * My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
> >> assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my 2000 election
> >> decision.
> >> * I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.
> >> * More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
> >> * I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history
> >> and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was
> >> revealed..
> >> * I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
> >> * I changed the US policy to allow convicted criminals to
> >> be awarded government contracts.
> >> * I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration
> >> than any President in US history.
> >> * I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest
> >> bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.
> >> * I've broken more international treaties than any
> >> President in US history.
> >> * I am the first President in US history to have the United
> >> Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
> >> * I withdrew the US from the World Court of Law.
> >> * I refused to allow inspector's access to US 'prisoners of war' detainees
> >> and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
> >> * I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
> >> inspectors (during the 2004 US election).
> >> * I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
> >> * I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
> >> period.
> >> * After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
> >> security failure in US history (9/11).
> >> * I garnered the most sympathy ever for the US after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the US the most
> >> hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
> >> * I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering
> >> the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
> >> * I am the first President in US history to order an
> >> unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation (Iraq). I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.
> >> * I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and
> >> support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in
> >> wartime.
> >> * In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
> >> * I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
> >> security.
> >> * I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster', aWMD.
> >> * I failed miserably to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to
> >> justice.*
> >> * In spite of all this, my idiot fellow american citizens (albeit a
> >> minority) voted me in for a second term in 2004!
> >>
> >> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> >> * All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in
> >> my father's
> >> library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
> >> * All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading
> >> and my bankrupt
> >> companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
> >> view.
> >> * All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
> >> Vice-President
> >> attended, regarding public energy policy are sealed in
> >> secrecy and
> >> unavailable for public review.
> >> * I specified that my sealed documents will not be
> >> available for 50 years.
> >>
> >>
> >> STILL INTERESTED BECAUSE OF MY FAMILY CONNECTIONS - FEES
> >> ARE NEGOTIABLE!
> >>
> >> Goerge Wanker Bush