Is there anything good about being single?

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Najm

Najm

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AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Maybe not the right section. I have been reading so much about marriage. But until i do get married, is there anything good about being single?

Sometimes it seems a simple case of....... single people wanting to get married and........... married people wanting to get single.

I feel there is so much hype in getting married, and then not turning out the way you wanted it to be.

Please comment...

FiAmaaniAllah
 
Najm said:

I feel there is so much hype in getting married, and then not turning out the way you wanted it to be.

Please comment...

FiAmaaniAllah
Click to expand...

:sl:

Only because usually those that really want to get married spend their single days wishing they were married and not getting themselves ready for things that come after it. If people educated themselves about marriage, from an Islamic perspective and from other variant perspectives as well such as psychological etc, as they would for any other thing in life, they can make it work out very well.

So it's how you utilize your time that can make it good or bad. If you spend your single days moping about how you're not married and aren't doing anything about it, then you're going to be very miserable. However, if you spent that time using your desire for marriage and companionship into proactively learning about marriage and training yourself for it, it's going to get good now and down the line Insha'Allaah. Personally, I hate being single, but I try not to let that get into the way of me doing things that I need to do and working my way towards a married life.
 
Najm said:
But until i do get married, is there anything good about being single?
Click to expand...

A great deal, most of which you don't appreciate until you no longer are!

The main one is freedom, the ability to do what you want when you want, and have the time to do it. You just can't do that when you are married. Don't get me wrong, it's a freedom you voluntarily give up in favour of responsibility, mutual respect, partnership and (hopefully) increased happiness. My point is just enjoy it when you can; you will miss it from time to time no matter how much you love your wife!
 
rather what's wrong with being single..
don't think about marriage as an obligation. it's not something that you have to do, well we mostly do, but that's instinct. been single as well as getting married are both self serving in the end.
 
maybe an experienced married sis should tell us what happens :X i'm just assuming...
wa/salam
 
:sl:

  • Your life is your own.
  • Your time is your own.
  • You can dedicate a bit more time to your ibadah that you would otherwise give to your spouse, his/her family, and his/her friends. (I know, marriage is ibadah too, but you'll miss being able to read 1 juz or whatever a day when you're married.)
  • You don't have to be responsible for another individual's needs and feelings at least 50% of the time.
  • You can eat what you want every single day of the week, never wondering, "Hmmmm, what would he/she like for breakfast, lunch and dinner?"
  • You can do your laundry when you need it done, not when he/she does.
  • You can leave your dirty socks lying in a pile by the side of your bed without knowing your husband/wife thinks you're so gross.
  • You can wear that ratty old flannel shirt to bed without your wife/husband saying, "Honey, here's the credit card, go buy nicer sleepwear."
  • Et cetera ad nauseum.

Sure, this all sounds like stuff you don't need...but when you're married, you just might miss it. So, close your eyes and imagine how life will really change when you're married and you just might find the good parts of being single.

:w:
 
:sl:

I think that there are things we can do in our singledom which we cannot do during marriage. Especially with refence to things involving our deen and Iman.

Whilst you are single, you are supposed to grow spiritually, as much as you can and do dawah and just seek knowledge etc.

After you are married, you are restricted in many ways. Family life takes a toll on you and you work out new ways to grow spiritually etc. Serving your family becomes a way of expressive your love and respect for you deen etc.

So the best of both worlds is what you should be looking for, bro.

On a practical level, both are hard and easy. It is all about getting to know yourself in relation to yourself and then getting to know yourself in relation to living with your partner. You are, essentially, a whole new person. While you are single you might hate being alone. Then when you get married, you might pray for a lonely minute. So are you a person who likes or dislikes alone time? Both. Two different people in two different worlds.

Wasalaam.
 
Pomak said:
Wasn't Said Nursi single (all his life)? :ooh:
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Yes he was. As is Fethullah Gulen Hodja.

They are men who have devoted their lives to dawah though. Marriage would just be a constraint and tie them to this world rather than the hereafter.
 
sevgi said:
Yes he was. As is Fethullah Gulen Hodja.

They are men who have devoted their lives to dawah though. Marriage would just be a constraint and tie them to this world rather than the hereafter.
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Also because of the attitudes of the Republic in those days towards scholars. Or so i was told.

Also about Gulen, didn't he like make his students promise that they would get married? (true or not?)
 
sevgi said:
They are students...not followers. He doesn't have the right to ask for such a thing.
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okok, has he "urged" very strongly, that this sunnah should be followed by them?

I mean are we playing semantics or has he said nothing on the subject?
 
Pomak said:
okok, has he "urged" very strongly, that this sunnah should be followed by them?

I mean are we playing semantics or has he said nothing on the subject?
Click to expand...

No. Dude. I've been his student since I was nine years old. Does it look like I have plans of not being married?

Geez.
 
Its hard being single, you want to share your joy and sadness with someone , with my case just having someone to talk to.

When Getting married , you now have to take someone else's feelings into consideration.
Its a life changing thing for most of us. You cant do as you please all the time,
you cant meet up with the boys when you want and come home when you like.

Like now for example , im in my room with the light on, on L.I. if i were married i would have to think oh my wifes asleep, i dont want to disturb her .

If my wife were to follow my routine day in day out, she would get very bored.

My room is a mess, my wardrobe is my floor , theres so many sweet wrappers in the bin,
socks on the floor, man im gonna miss these days.


someone said to me when you getting married, just to get the laugh i said the washing machine aint broke yet.LOL
 

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