issues

[convert]

As salaamu alaikum all:

I've been going through a lot of issues lately and I just need a place to vent I suppose. I may or may not be around much after this post even; I just asked Sheikh Google where I could find a forum for converts to Islam and, after sorting through the shia links, stumbled upon this one.

At any rate, like I stated above, I've been going through lots of issues. Not with my family really. Although there have been some issues since I converted, they have generally been accepting of me, alhamdulillah. I had some friends abandon me, but I guess I used my shahadah as the furqan to determine who my true friends really were.

My issues are with the community at large. I love Islam but have very little patience with muslims. I had the normal issues once I converted (i.e. the jamaat trying to turn me into an Arab or Pakistani and when I didn't, leaving me to teach myself the deen) but I was able to get through that, alhamdulillah.

The most insulted and embarrassed I have even been in my life has been now that I am trying to get married. It is absolutely unbelievable the things I have to deal with. I mean, it took some time but the uncles finally think its ok to pray next to me but astaughfirullah if I ask about marrying their daughters.

I have even had my Islam questioned, like I am not a real muslim because I am white.

There are some sisters that are interested in me but it never works out due to the above or because my knowledge of the deen isn't as strong as they'd like (sorry, if I had a teacher I wouldn't be in this problem).

I don't mean to sound unappreciative of or like I do not acknowledge the mercy of Allah but a lot of this is just ridiculous. Islam in books is mashaAllah. Islam in the masaajid is aoudhibillah.

Make dua for me.

[alcurad]

welcome brother:)
and yes, the culture is too strong for many, not to mention most people don't actually know much of their religion to begin with, it's somewhat late here, probably more replys wil be there in the morning, anyway, what you say is true for many converts.

I applaud your perseverance brother, what I'm going to say for now is keep it up, or rather don't give up, it'll get easier, joining the forum benefitted me greatly even though I was 'born' muslim.

it really takes time, but if you know the basics it should be enough, for marriage I mean, perhaps it will be much easier to look for someone who converted as you did?
then you'll help each other, and perhaps even understand what the other is going throug as well, although it isn't necessarily that, if you look hard enough you'll find a sister-regardless of race etc- who'll fit you, and you her, just keep looking:), it's not an easy thing to begin with-unfortunately-, and don't let others' ignorance faze you, it is only common.

[GreyKode]

Assalamu alaikum brother, welcome.
There are many knowledgeable people around here who can help you out, personally I think its ridiculous how those guys try to arabize converts. May ALLAH grant you patience and increase your imaan.

[Intisar]

:w:

It's hard for you to get married to people that are too attached to their culture, and if they do it's sometimes because:

a) They have an inferiority complex and want beautiful mixed race children with blue or green eyes and light skin. :rolleyes:

b) Or, they're trying to run away from their family.

To those that turn you down, perhaps it's not because of them, but because of pressure from their family? Some parents threaten to disown their child if they do marry an ''ajnabi'' (foreigner), but wouldn't mind if they married someone who doesn't even bother praying their five salats every single day just as long as they're from the same culture.

It's a double standard, and sorry to say...for some people, culture comes before Islaam subhan'Allaah. imsad You see, I've often heard that if you marry an ''ajnabi'' than your bloodline is tainted, and your lineage is not as ''nasab'' (noble).

That's the harsh reality, not every single cultured person is like that, but a lot of people that I've come across are.

If you think it's hard for a white revert, how do you think it is for a black one? They've got it even worse than you. My family, even though my extended family have no business in my personal affairs, have told me that I can never marry an African American. There are so many derogatory terms used for people from a different background. :skeleton:

You need to be aware of such things so that you can stay away from that inshaAllaah, keep on persevering in your deen, and searching for a wife. Make du'a, there are many many mixed marriages and they do work out alhamdulilah but cultural attachments are still there and I believe is one of the reasons why this Ummah isn't united I'm afraid.

Too many people have pride in their hearts, as if they're better than others (Muslim or not) based on their skin colour/background. And little do they know, that someone with a mustard's seed's weight of pride will not enter Jannah.

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[جوري]

:welcome: aboard akhi..
be patient with yourself and others insha'Allah things will work themselves out with time..
Islam like any science is a continuing education...

I suggest when you are sick of Muslims as happens to many of us, that you simply just take time away to reflect and stay away...

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

[coddles76]

:sl:
May Allah SWT keep you patient and remove from you all types of harm.
The society we live in causes these issues which is really really unfortunate. People these days of lost the real essence of alot of things including marriage. If only people would look back to the examples of the prophet PBUH and realise how things should be we wouldn't have the problems we do now but I guess this is the culture of humanity, we come in all different mind frames which is very challenging sometimes. Just keep patient brother, life doesn't always go our way but its always the patient that will succeed.

[convert]

welcome brother:)
and yes, the culture is too strong for many, not to mention most people don't actually know much of their religion to begin with, it's somewhat late here, probably more replys wil be there in the morning, anyway, what you say is true for many converts.

I applaud your perseverance brother, what I'm going to say for now is keep it up, or rather don't give up, it'll get easier, joining the forum benefitted me greatly even though I was 'born' muslim.

it really takes time, but if you know the basics it should be enough, for marriage I mean, perhaps it will be much easier to look for someone who converted as you did?
then you'll help each other, and perhaps even understand what the other is going throug as well, although it isn't necessarily that, if you look hard enough you'll find a sister-regardless of race etc- who'll fit you, and you her, just keep looking:), it's not an easy thing to begin with-unfortunately-, and don't let others' ignorance faze you, it is only common.

Thats the thing. I know the basics. I had to teach myself how to read Arabic and tajweed rules but I got that down after like 2 months, alhamdulillah. My issues now are in regards to fiqh and the Arabic language.

I get pulled in by certain mistranslated or spotty fataawa that I have to blindly accept because I cannot understand the language. I had one guy honestly tell me that loving Arabs and recognizing them as this noble master race was part of fitrah. He brought daleel but it was all in Arabic, so I couldn't respond.

I simply cannot teach myself a language. I tried, it doesn't work. The only Arabic I know is the juz or so of Quran I have memorized and even that is touch and go.

The thing about convert sisters is that they are the ones who don't want me because of my knowledge. They are hard set on getting an Arab guy to teach them the deen, nothing else will do.

[convert]

:w:

It's hard for you to get married to people that are too attached to their culture, and if they do it's sometimes because:

a) They have an inferiority complex and want beautiful mixed race children with blue or green eyes and light skin. :rolleyes:

b) Or, they're trying to run away from their family.

To those that turn you down, perhaps it's not because of them, but because of pressure from their family? Some parents threaten to disown their child if they do marry an ''ajnabi'' (foreigner), but wouldn't mind if they married someone who doesn't even bother praying their five salats every single day just as long as they're from the same culture.

It's a double standard, and sorry to say...for some people, culture comes before Islaam subhan'Allaah. imsad You see, I've often heard that if you marry an ''ajnabi'' than your bloodline is tainted, and your lineage is not as ''nasab'' (noble).

That's the harsh reality, not every single cultured person is like that, but a lot of people that I've come across are.

If you think it's hard for a white revert, how do you think it is for a black one? They've got it even worse than you. My family, even though my extended family have no business in my personal affairs, have told me that I can never marry an African American. There are so many derogatory terms used for people from a different background. :skeleton:

You need to be aware of such things so that you can stay away from that inshaAllaah, keep on persevering in your deen, and searching for a wife. Make du'a, there are many many mixed marriages and they do work out alhamdulilah but cultural attachments are still there and I believe is one of the reasons why this Ummah isn't united I'm afraid.

Too many people have pride in their hearts, as if they're better than others (Muslim or not) based on their skin colour/background. And little do they know, that someone with a mustard's seed's weight of pride will not enter Jannah.

At least our AA brothers and sisters have their own jamaat, ukhti. I would argue the Chinese converts have it much much worse than the white converts do however. I know a couple from the next community over and they get it from all angles.

[جوري]

Thats the thing. I know the basics. I had to teach myself how to read Arabic and tajweed rules but I got that down after like 2 months, alhamdulillah. My issues now are in regards to fiqh and the Arabic language.

I get pulled in by certain mistranslated or spotty fataawa that I have to blindly accept because I cannot understand the language. I had one guy honestly tell me that loving Arabs and recognizing them as this noble master race was part of fitrah. He brought daleel but it was all in Arabic, so I couldn't respond.

I simply cannot teach myself a language. I tried, it doesn't work. The only Arabic I know is the juz or so of Quran I have memorized and even that is touch and go.

The thing about convert sisters is that they are the ones who don't want me because of my knowledge. They are hard set on getting an Arab guy to teach them the deen, nothing else will do.

haha soba7n Allah he said what of the Arabs..
perhaps you can quote this fellow from the Quran such verses as this

The Arabs of the desert are the worst in unbelief and Hypocrisy, and most fitted to be in ignorance of the command which Allah hath sent down to His Messenger but Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.9:97

and see what he has to say..
seriously the nerve of some people..


May Allah make this easy for you insha'Allah



btw I am Arabic, and I speak Arabic, and can tell you there is no such hadith! the only time a human is favored over another is though his goodness and piety

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

[aadil77]

I get pulled in by certain mistranslated or spotty fataawa that I have to blindly accept because I cannot understand the language. I had one guy honestly tell me that loving Arabs and recognizing them as this noble master race was part of fitrah. He brought daleel but it was all in Arabic, so I couldn't respond.

Don't mind them brother, some arabs behave this way with all non-arabs. The arabs I saw at Dubai airport would look at me like sh*t, so don't worry about them they aint superior in any way, I'd like to see the behave that way is this country, they'd get battered.

Just take it easy, these people you've met aren't the best of muslims so don't take this as a problem with islam, its a problem with them

[convert]

:sl:

Don't let these people dishearten you or put u down brother, rather let them increase your determination. You can achieve anything u want, and Allaah will help u insha' Allaah! You can start learning Arabic here for free, from the famous Medina books 1, 2, and 3. The videos are very good masha' Allaah, and taught nicely

http://www.lqtoronto.com/videos.html

soon u will know more Arabic than the Arab brothers!

And with nowadays technology... the honorable journey of gaining knowledge is easy! You have almost everything online. If u want, I can direct you to some authentic and beneficial sites to learn from. And read this du'aa lots and lots and lots: 'rabbi zidni ilma' 'My Lord, increase me in knowledge' and you will get ahead of everyone insha' Allaah.

I pray that Allaah increases you so much in knowledge and respect and sincerity, that the same people who are putting u down now, will come to ask u Questions abt Fiqh later on!

:w:
The Madinah books were the first thing I tried, they don't work without a teacher. I will check out those videos when I get home from work, inshaAllah they can give me a reference.

I prefer to make dua in a language I understand also (arabic is ruled out here).

Please make dua for me. I am very frustrated, almost to the point of bitterness and contempt for my fellow muslims. Its lonely out there for the converts and while people may realize that in the academic/theoretical sense, they just don't fully understand.

[alcurad]

may God make it easier for you brother:), it will get easier too, just be patient.

[UmmSqueakster]

Assalamu Alaikum,

I think every convert I've ever met (myself included) goes through a period where they loathe the community.

Islam is wonderful, but I can't stand muslims
Frustrations of a Muslim Convert
My First Year as a Muslim


There is an unbalance re: marriage. I think husbands are expected to have knowledge of the religion, so it takes convert brothers longer to get married then convert sisters. Every brother seems to want a convert sister to mold into their perfect vision of a muslimah. Of course, oftentimes that doesn't work out so well for the sister. Heck, I think it would be better for convert sisters to hold off getting married until they learn a sufficient amount of the deen so they can make an informed choice in marital partners.

I don't know how long you've been muslim, but for right now, focus on learning your deen and inshaAllah once people in your community see that you're knowledgable, marriage will happen. I know a brother who converted while I was in college, and he went to Egypt to study arabic for a year. Afterwards, he got married. Now I'm not saying go to egypt to learn arabic, but try to find someone (in person or online) to learn from. While the muslims you encounter may be disapointing, there are lots of us out there who inshaAllah are not.

I have some educational opportunities listed on the converts page on my blog. I really should update it as more and more things are becoming available.

For something right now that may offer you a pick me up, check out Imam Suhaib Webb's (himself a convert) current FREE online class. It's really mashaAllah very beneficial.

[Intisar]

At least our AA brothers and sisters have their own jamaat, ukhti. I would argue the Chinese converts have it much much worse than the white converts do however. I know a couple from the next community over and they get it from all angles.

:sl: Well what I meant was, I'm black and my family would go up in arms if I married an AA...the irony of it was what I was trying to get at.

If they have their own jamat, then maybe y'all should do the same..for reverts in general, not just culturally-based. Like a support group and such.

Akhee, remember this...marriage is not hard for only reverts, but for people in general because the shaytan constantly tries to make it seem like marriage (the halal way) is a lot harder than just dating somebody.

So be patient, after hardship there is relief inshaAllaah.

[julie sarri]

I am a white revert sister i know how hard it is brother Alhamdulillah i am married i had to self teach my self as well i only started going to the masjid last year and this is not every week. I pray at home and i know enough Arabic to pray even when i enter the masjid the sisters still look at me in a strange way and i am always left on my own why they stick to there groups. At first it hurt but then i said i am here to worship Allah swt and i and i didn't become muslim just for the friends and community although it is important i can do without everyone's ideas on how to practices Islam their way i got all the books by the top scholars and read the hadith books and learn for myself.The thing is to stay patient make du'a for Allah swt to inshaallah give you a good wife try and keep learning becouse the more you know the better it will be and after a while you should be able to quote hadith and interact with the community but it all takes time i have been a muslimah for almost 5 years now and i am still working on it

[Shah4Justice]

:sl:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ (2:153

2:153 O YOU who have attained to faith! Seek aid in steadfast patience and prayer: for, behold, God is with those who are patient in adversity.

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الأَمَوَالِ وَالأنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ (2:155
2:155 And most certainly shall We try you by means of danger, and hunger, and loss of worldly goods, of lives and of fruits. But give glad tidings unto those who are patient in adversity

لَتُبْلَوُنَّ فِي أَمْوَالِكُمْ وَأَنفُسِكُمْ وَلَتَسْمَعُنَّ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ وَمِنَ الَّذِينَ أَشْرَكُواْ أَذًى كَثِيرًا وَإِن تَصْبِرُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الأُمُورِ (3:186
3:186 You shall most certainly be tried in your possessions and in your persons; and indeed you shall hear many hurtful things from those to whom revelation was granted before your time, as well as from those who have come to ascribe divinity to other beings beside God. But if you remain patient in adversity and conscious of Him - this, behold, is something to set one's heart upon.

So, brothers and sisters who have prostrated to Allah swt, follow only Allah swt through his BOOK and Prophet pbuh. As this is what has been told. Do Not fall into sectarianism as the Muhammad pbuh did not instruct us to do so and Allah swt clearly forbid this.

وَاعْتَصِمُواْ بِحَبْلِ اللّهِ جَمِيعًا وَلاَ تَفَرَّقُواْ وَاذْكُرُواْ نِعْمَةَ اللّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذْ كُنتُمْ أَعْدَاء فَأَلَّفَ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِكُمْ فَأَصْبَحْتُم بِنِعْمَتِهِ إِخْوَانًا وَكُنتُمْ عَلَىَ شَفَا حُفْرَةٍ مِّنَ النَّارِ فَأَنقَذَكُم مِّنْهَا كَذَلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللّهُ لَكُمْ آيَاتِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَهْتَدُونَ (3:103

3:103 And hold fast, all together, unto the bond with God, and do not draw apart from one another. And remember the blessings which God has bestowed upon you: how, when you were enemies, He brought your hearts together, so that through His blessing you became brethren; and [how, when] you were on the brink of a fiery abyss. [79] He saved you from it. In this way God makes clear His messages unto you, so that you might find guidance,

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ فَرَّقُواْ دِينَهُمْ وَكَانُواْ شِيَعًا لَّسْتَ مِنْهُمْ فِي شَيْءٍ إِنَّمَا أَمْرُهُمْ إِلَى اللّهِ ثُمَّ يُنَبِّئُهُم بِمَا كَانُواْ يَفْعَلُونَ (6:159

6:159 VERILY, as for those who have broken the unity of their faith and have become sects - thou hast nothing to do with them. Behold, their case rests with God: and in time He will make them understand what they were doing.

***Besides talking to the scholars who are clearly striving in the path of Allah swt, u can always count on the support of brothers and sister in this forum, as I have seen SOME of them to be very blessed and honest masha Allah.
Please please please stick to the main sources of guidance i.e Quran and the example of the Prophet pbuh (how he practiced Islam).

One of THE most important guidance points:

وَمِنْ حَيْثُ خَرَجْتَ فَوَلِّ وَجْهَكَ شَطْرَ الْمَسْجِدِ الْحَرَامِ وَحَيْثُ مَا كُنتُمْ فَوَلُّواْ وُجُوهَكُمْ شَطْرَهُ لِئَلاَّ يَكُونَ لِلنَّاسِ عَلَيْكُمْ حُجَّةٌ إِلاَّ الَّذِينَ ظَلَمُواْ مِنْهُمْ فَلاَ تَخْشَوْهُمْ وَاخْشَوْنِي وَلأُتِمَّ نِعْمَتِي عَلَيْكُمْ وَلَعَلَّكُمْ تَهْتَدُونَ (2:150)

2:150 Hence, from wherever thou mayest come forth, turn thy direction towards the Inviolable House of Worship; and wherever you all may be, turn your directions towards it, so that people should have no argument against you unless they are bent upon wrongdoing. And do not fear them, but fear Me, so that I might bestow upon you the full measure of My blessings., and that you might follow the right path.

:w:

[anonymous]

:w:
The Madinah books were the first thing I tried, they don't work without a teacher. I will check out those videos when I get home from work, inshaAllah they can give me a reference.

I hope it will make u feel better, now that u have found a teacher. He is good alhamdulillaah.

I prefer to make dua in a language I understand also (arabic is ruled out here).

hmmm okay. However you wish brother. But just incase u change your mind and want to say it in Arabic..

Rabb means Lord
ee = my

so Rabbee = My Lord

zidni = increase me

ilma = knowledge

Because its more special when u say it in Arabic :)

Please make dua for me. I am very frustrated, almost to the point of bitterness and contempt for my fellow muslims.

We can't blame you for that. If just reading your post made us feel angry, then imagine the frustration of a person actually going through it (They are ignorant brother :-\ ) May Allaah guide them and ease your situation. You are in our du'aas insha' Allaah.

[convert]

Because its more special when u say it in Arabic :)

Why? I'm not an Arab and I cannot speak Arabic; it means nothing to me unless I am sure of what I am saying.

[anonymous]

Why?

well because if u had a friend and made an attempt to converse with them in a language that they loved and spoke in, its more special and shows how much you love them.

I'm not an Arab and I cannot speak Arabic; it means nothing to me unless I am sure of what I am saying.

Then you can say it in English bro, that's not a problem at all! Do du'aa however u feel, comfortably and willingly and do not worry or burden yourself. may Allaah help you and ease all your difficulties. (:

P.S. How are you finding the Madina Book Videos?

[convert]

well because if u had a friend and made an attempt to converse with them in a language that they loved and spoke in, its more special and shows how much you love them.

Then you can say it in English bro, that's not a problem at all! Do du'aa however u feel, comfortably and willingly and do not worry or burden yourself. may Allaah help you and ease all your difficulties. (:

P.S. How are you finding the Madina Book Videos?

See, you need to be careful how you word things. Converts see this as: Since when does Allah only love Arabic and does he not understand English? Am I not sincere because I cannot speak Arabic?

Unfortunately, I have been told before that my dua is not accepted because it isn't in Arabic. This is the crap I have to deal with and it honestly drives me away from muslims and the Arabic language.

I have only made it about 20 minutes into the first video... there seems to be an issue and it craps out when I stream it. I download it though and will see if that helps.

[anonymous]

Unfortunately, I have been told before that my dua is not accepted because it isn't in Arabic. This is the crap I have to deal with and it honestly drives me away from muslims and the Arabic language

I'm sorry to have frustrated you brother. Had I known that I wouldn't have mentioned Arabic at all. The criteria for your duaa being accepted is not whether it is said in Arabic or English or Chinese, but its whether it was said with sincerity and humility. I don't know which community or city u live in that people are telling u such ridiculous things, but I really admire your patience with them and your sincerity and loyalty to Allaah still. He is the Most appreciative of every, even the smallest difficulty and sacrifice you have gone through for His sake and He will never ever let a true believer like you down.

I have only made it about 20 minutes into the first video... there seems to be an issue and it craps out when I stream it. I download it though and will see if that helps.

hmm I hope it gets fixed quickly.

:w:

[Yanal]

Well first of brother Sabr(patience) is the key for heaven. Imagine people 1500 years ago who died as non Muslims how long would they have been tortured? There's no end to the grave punishment until the day of judgement who only Allah knows when will occur. Without patience you can't do anything here in this world of tests. Here are a list of things you can't do without patience: Cant wait for day of judgement that you get all rushed up and forget what to do to get into heaven. Like this more things that you cannot do.

Be patience as the Muslims around you are excited that they have a new companion and just tell them to please stop rushing me ,it takes a while to understand the principles of Isl,the concept of Islam and the only book of Islam The Quran.My recommendation to you is while you are learning to read the Quran read the bible(the Muslim one) as you can find it in English versions or find an online software that can translate the Quran in English like Quran explorer.

[Forced_In]

Unfortunately, I have been told before that my dua is not accepted because it
isn't in Arabic. This is the crap I have to deal with and it honestly drives me
away from muslims and the Arabic language.

assalmo alaikom ( peace be upon you )

Please remember whose words matter;

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I
answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear
My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright.[Baqara:186]

wassalo alaikom

[Yanal]

The shaadah can also be said like this " I testify that there is no god but Allah he is one and has no partner and I also testify Muhammad was his servant and messanger.
Note:Its servant first then messanger.

Are you talking about the Shaadah? Which dua if not?

[convert]

I'm sorry to have frustrated you brother. Had I known that I wouldn't have mentioned Arabic at all. The criteria for your duaa being accepted is not whether it is said in Arabic or English or Chinese, but its whether it was said with sincerity and humility. I don't know which community or city u live in that people are telling u such ridiculous things, but I really admire your patience with them and your sincerity and loyalty to Allaah still. He is the Most appreciative of every, even the smallest difficulty and sacrifice you have gone through for His sake and He will never ever let a true believer like you down.

hmm I hope it gets fixed quickly.

:w:

Its not your fault. I know you only mean good, things just build up and get blown way out of proportion.

Well first of brother Sabr(patience) is the key for heaven. Imagine people 1500 years ago who died as non Muslims how long would they have been tortured? There's no end to the grave punishment until the day of judgement who only Allah knows when will occur. Without patience you can't do anything here in this world of tests. Here are a list of things you can't do without patience: Cant wait for day of judgement that you get all rushed up and forget what to do to get into heaven. Like this more things that you cannot do.

Be patience as the Muslims around you are excited that they have a new companion and just tell them to please stop rushing me ,it takes a while to understand the principles of Isl,the concept of Islam and the only book of Islam The Quran.My recommendation to you is while you are learning to read the Quran read the bible(the Muslim one) as you can find it in English versions or find an online software that can translate the Quran in English like Quran explorer.

I have been muslim for a few years and have read a couple different translations of the Quran. I know how to read Arabic script (unfortunately, had to teach myself). I know the Bible far better than the Quran and I want this to change.


The problem with my community isn't really that they tell me all this garbage (although, some): that comes from the online shuyookh-ul-islam. My community just doesn't acknowledge me; won't even really respond to salams (even after I've been praying there for over 2 years).

Well, I am being dishonest I suppose. When there is an interfaith, they're quick to ask the white brother (don't remember my name) to speak.

[- Qatada -]

asalaam alaikum


bro, here's some good links to ask questions or support in some things u need help on;

baby arabic lessons;
http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=26239


ask questions here [theres scholars and students of knowledge too on sunnah];
http://ahlalhdeeth.com/vbe/


http://muslimconverts.com
http://islamreligion.com


http://islamtoday.com/
http://www.islamqa.com/en

[Sahabiyaat]

As salaamu alaikum all:


The most insulted and embarrassed I have even been in my life has been now that I am trying to get married. It is absolutely unbelievable the things I have to deal with. I mean, it took some time but the uncles finally think its ok to pray next to me but astaughfirullah if I ask about marrying their daughters..

:).This is just so typical of all races and ethnicities, muslims will claim to all be one brotherhood, and act all chummy, but if u dare even think about asking for their daughters, they will turn on you like a bloodthirsty animal, all chumminess forgotten. ....so **** hypocritical

I have even had my Islam questioned, like I am not a real muslim because I am white.
..

dont worry this is so common, and usually believed by uneducated poeople, who cant believe that anybody other than their own ethnicity, esp black or white, are also created by Allah and have a duty to worship him and that Allah loves his creation equally.

My parents, unfortunately, hold this view strongly.Its quite hilarious actually, as my mum thinks all non asian converts are really undercover spies for their governments, plotting to to bring down muslims, by faking to be them.

Her favourite target is yvonne ridley.I think she just doesnt like her style of hijaab.

There are some sisters that are interested in me but it never works out due to the above or because my knowledge of the deen isn't as strong as they'd like (sorry, if I had a teacher I wouldn't be in this problem)...

That is simply ridiculous.you should ask them how stong THEIR knowledge is!

I had one guy honestly tell me that loving Arabs and recognizing them as this noble master race was part of fitrah. .

ah standard my brother, I had one tell me in so many words how lucky i was to be even sitting next to him (this was a phd student btw!).You dont want to hear my response..it has alot of stars in it :D

The thing about convert sisters is that they are the ones who don't want me because of my knowledge. They are hard set on getting an Arab guy to teach them the deen, nothing else will do.

Don't mind them brother, some arabs behave this way with all non-arabs. The arabs I saw at Dubai airport would look at me like sh*t, so don't worry about them they aint superior in any way, I'd like to see the behave that way is this country, they'd get battered.

An arab guy....oh my lord....the whole superiority thing again! , How the heck are arabs any better than anyone else.but like i said, this brother i mentioned would constantly (although making sure it was disguised as a joke), would insult pakistanis, knowing that i am pakistani and it will offend me. and he would laugh heartily at his own jokes.I told him he was getting a bit round and needed to loose the arab fat..that shut him up....but lemme tell u , god help u if u ever poke at arab pride....they get vicious man,.....blimey.


and finally i am so sorry that some muslims are so crap to reverts, their ignorant, idiotic discrminations, and prejudices, embarass me. :-[, but we are not all like that.I admire reverts more than born muslims!

I am also sorry u cannot find anyone to teach you and that everyobe u meet has the ulterior motive of trying to make u follow their way of doing things.

but i admire your headstrong will and common sense of doing ur own research and May Allah bless u for all ur amazing efforts to learn about and follow the deen.

You are an inspiration to us all :), and in my Duas!
:w:

[alcurad]

there is no such thing as punishment in the grave Yanal :), read the qur'an well and you'll know why.

brother convert, you needn't say it in Arabic, the earlier scholars for example allowed reading the qur'an as well as praying in Farsi for the newly converted Persians, and so on.
in fact you should never pray in a language you don't know, it is much like the pagan practice of 'chanting', rather prayer is meant to be for God. His wisdom and knowledge encompass all-he's not going to not understand~!-, so there is no good reason for chanting away when you could actually be really praying as should be done.

[GreyKode]

I beg to differ alcurad, although not mentioned in the Quran, but the grave punishment "3athab al qabr" is something mentioned in islamic tradition.

[alcurad]

it is disputed, that is all I'll say, because a couple of sects believe in it does not make it happen IMO but since it is a matter of dispute you can believe it or leave it.

the verses alleged for supporting it are not explicit, nor are the verses used to discount it.
the ahadeeth used to support it are considered incorrect ahadeeth by the others, so it is not 'proven', it is not a very important matter of Aqeeda, rather it is up to the person to decide according to his own what group is more correct, presenting it as proven without doubt is not correct at all.

http://www.ahlalhdeeth.com/vb/showthread.php?t=6462 -arabic, the first post takes a 'middle' approach, general but informative-

[GreyKode]

It seems that you have more knowledge regarding this issue than I do so I won't argue.
Menkum nastafeed :D (that's arabic in case you didn't understand)

[UmmSqueakster]

It was my understanding that very few groups denied punishment of the grave - some mutazilites, some shia and khawarij - and that it is the position of ahl al sunnah wa jamaah that it does exisit.

Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya (ra) states in his book "The Soul":

This (punishment of the grave) is a well accepted fact among the Ahl al-Sunnah wa al-Jama'ah. al-Marwazi relates from Imam Ahmad (ra) that only a severely deviated person who also deviates others denies the punishment of the grave ( Kitab al-Ruh).

Imam al-Tahawi (ra) states in his al-Aqida al-Tahawiyya:

We believe in the punishment of the grave for those who deserve it, and in the questioning in the grave by Munkar and Nakir about one's Lords, one's religion and one's Prophet, as has come down in the narrations from the Messenger of Allah (saws) and his Companions (ra) (P. 14).



Imam al Tahawi's aqida is the aqida of ahl al Sunnah wa'a jamaah, aka sunni muslims. That's not a "couple of sects," that's the majority of muslims.

[GreyKode]

On second thought.....

[UmmSqueakster]

For the brother who's the OP - is it possible for you to move? It sounds like your community bites, to put it mildly. Moving is hard, especially in this economy, but if it will help you to improve your religion, then it's totally worth it. I am unsure as to your location, but in general, if you move to a city with a larger muslim population, there will be a better chance that you'll find more open and accepting people.

Here in the twin cities, minnesota, I'm not a terribly big fan of the community, but mashaAllah it's accepting of converts. I know an american convert brother who married a somali sister, and we have a large african american 1st and second generation convert community here as well.

[UmmSqueakster]

On second thought.....

LOL. I'm no scholar and have only taken a single class on aqida tahawiyya, plus my teacher impressed in us the importance of not debating these issues...but...simply stating what a major sunni text says on the issue isn't really debating, I hope :-[

[convert]

For the brother who's the OP - is it possible for you to move? It sounds like your community bites, to put it mildly. Moving is hard, especially in this economy, but if it will help you to improve your religion, then it's totally worth it. I am unsure as to your location, but in general, if you move to a city with a larger muslim population, there will be a better chance that you'll find more open and accepting people.

Here in the twin cities, minnesota, I'm not a terribly big fan of the community, but mashaAllah it's accepting of converts. I know an american convert brother who married a somali sister, and we have a large african american 1st and second generation convert community here as well.

Its not really an option. I have decided to leave the country to after I get $25-30000 saved up from working (approx 8-10 months time inshaAllah) and am staying in a place where I don't pay hardly anything for rent.

The sad thing is, I live in a city with a huge muslim population (one of the top 3 in the US). I have thought about moving closer to another masjid but I hear its generally the same for converts everywhere.

I was introduced to the special Somali marriage fiqh already, they were the rudest people to me, astaghfirullah.

[UmmSqueakster]

Have you gone to all the masjids in the city? We have a masjid about 2 miles from our house, but I rarely go there - the sisters sit around speaking to each other in arabic and urdu, and rarely include me in conversation.

Instead, I take the bus all the way across town to a former NOI temple, now sunni muslim masjid. I've never felt so welcome anywhere in my entire religious life - they have greeters at the door specifically to say assalamu alaikum to everyone who enters the musula :statisfie

[alcurad]

brother convert, where do you plan to go at that if you don't mind?

sister Janaan, the aqeedah of altahawy is the aqeeda of altahawy, meaning it is his interpretation, since he's neither God or the prophet that makes his words as 'strong' as anyone else's.
this is why I stressed:making the view of a few sects as proven without doubt is not the correct way to go about it, It doesn't matter how many follow it blindly.

another thing, many scholars usually say that this matter is agreed upon and whatnot, while it reality it ISN'T. this is a habit many appear to have, from reading their books alone, you would think they were the only true muslims, and how could anyone say to the contrary etc etc, don't be fooled by this, rather the daleel-evidence- is all that matters, and there's 'equally contradicting' evidence in this issue, it is up to you to believe in it or not.
this is getting somewhat off topic though.

[convert]

Have you gone to all the masjids in the city? We have a masjid about 2 miles from our house, but I rarely go there - the sisters sit around speaking to each other in arabic and urdu, and rarely include me in conversation.

Instead, I take the bus all the way across town to a former NOI temple, now sunni muslim masjid. I've never felt so welcome anywhere in my entire religious life - they have greeters at the door specifically to say assalamu alaikum to everyone who enters the musula :statisfie

Well, there is only 1 masjid in my city (many in the metropolitan area). The masjid in the next town is about 20 mins away but they are being taken over by the Karachi Cool Kids Club and I don't speak Urdu.

With regards to former NOI masaajid: I work in the city proper and went to a former NOI masjid for jumaa a couple times. The brothers there are very friendly but I couldn't handle the amount of praise, kissing up they do to Barack Obama and I would consistently hear things like: "Well, not to disrespect any other races here [all the while looking at me and my Paki buddy from college], but for the Black man..."

The only masjid that I have ever felt comfortable in was Masjid ul-Haqq one time when I visited some people in Baltimore. Inner city, hardcore salafi, but the brothers there are very mashaAllah.

[convert]

brother convert, where do you plan to go at that if you don't mind?

If I do not know Arabic when I go, then I will study in Sana'a until I am proficient, inshaAllah. I still have a ways to go with hifz (I only have around 1 juz) but I would like to try for Al Iman.

[Intisar]

I was introduced to the special Somali marriage fiqh already, they were the rudest people to me, astaghfirullah.

:sl: What's that akhee? :?

[alcurad]

hmm, it isn't going to be that easy though, can't you do it somewhere else, like in the states instead of going abroad?

[convert]

:sl: What's that akhee? :?

Thats an inside joke with me and a friend. Basically, NO OUTSIDERS ALLOWED (i.e. I had my Islam questioned/mocked by her father and brother).

[Yanal]

Brother Alcurad I think there is for the disbelievers and non muslims.

[convert]

hmm, it isn't going to be that easy though, can't you do it somewhere else, like in the states instead of going abroad?

Where can I do that in the US? I would if there existed a place (and no, I value my deen too much to go to Zaytuna). I really would like to learn Arabic over here though, to save some time and money before I make it overseas.

[convert]

Also, to the sister who messaged me: my Allah reward you for trying to help, but I do not feel comfortable speaking to a sister in private.

[Intisar]

Thats an inside joke with me and a friend. Basically, NO OUTSIDERS ALLOWED (i.e. I had my Islam questioned/mocked by her father and brother).

With all due respect akhee, I don't think you should judge based on an incident you've been through. :hmm:

[Yanal]

But he does have a right to believe.^

[convert]

With all due respect akhee, I don't think you should judge based on an incident you've been through. :hmm:

You are right. I need to check myself. I think I am letting some of my frustrations get the best of me.

[convert]

I just got a chance to watch part a1 of the madinah arabic videos. I don't really know if these will help much at all, to be honest. I do not even know what he is talking about when he mentions english parts of speech...

[convert]

Just out of curiosity: has anyone ever learned Arabic from these Madinah books? I hear people rave about them but it turns out they could already speak Arabic and were just freshing up on it.

[anonymous]

I do not even know what he is talking about when he mentions english parts of speech...

I don't know those either. But dont think it matters, because I think he just mentions those as extra information. I'm understanding it so far alhamdulillaah..

I hear people rave about them but it turns out they could already speak Arabic and were just freshing up on it.

I've never heard that. But could be true for some people - who study those books to learn the Grammar, even tho they know how to speak the Arabic language.

[anonymous]

have you tried kitaab al asaasi ?

http://www.scribd.com/doc/7680405/KITAB-ALASAASI

[convert]

have you tried kitaab al asaasi ?

http://www.scribd.com/doc/7680405/KITAB-ALASAASI

I will check it out inshaAllah. The second video was a little bit easier. I am not a grammar person (I have an engineering and math degree), so it is a little tedious but I can memorize the vocabulary and pay close attention to how the sentences are formed.

Also, make dua for me. I was approached by a brother in the masjid with regards to marrying a sister in the next community. I want whats best. Her father is a convert that has studied in Madinah so it may be easier on me in this regard.

[convert]

No thank you, I do not take Rashad Khalifa as a prophet. Without hadith, how do you pray? You are aware that the Quran was sent down through the same chains as various ahaadith, right?

[convert]

You clearly are unaware of the facts of the matter. You completely dodged the question: HOW do you pray? Do you just pray however you want?

I would like to hear how the Quran did not come down through the same chains as ahaadith. Are you aware of the science of isnaad?

[convert]

Moreover, how many times a day do you pray? What do you do with ayats that say "Obey Allah and obey the Rasul"? Did that only apply to the first muslims? What does that mean according to your desires?

[AabiruSabeel]

Why dont you answer this question:

What do you do with ayats that say "Obey Allah and obey the Rasul"?

[AabiruSabeel]

^Its an allegation, not true. There are Ahadeeth narrated by the Khulafa Rashideen as well. Go and do some research before asserting something.

The Ahadeeth are all well preserved and thoroughly researched by the great Muhadditheen. They took utmost care in narrating the Ahadeeth. They never took a Hadeeth from anyone found deceiving or lying.
Once a scholar heard that a person knows one Hadeeth. He travelled a distance to meet him and learn that Hadeeth from him. When he reached his home, the scholar saw him calling his sheep towards himself by extending his arm and making a sound, as if showing them (the sheep) that there is something to eat in his hand. The scholar asked what is there in your hand? He replied its empty. Thereupon the scholar went back. He said, how can I take a Hadeeth from someone who is deceiving the animals? The one who is deceiving the animals can also deceive humans.
This is just an example of how much care they took in narrating the Ahadeeth.

Read this article here, it might help you.

[AabiruSabeel]

Imam Nawawi (RA) says there are One Hundred and Forty Two Ahadeeth narrated by Abu Bakr As-Siddiq Radhiyallahu 'Anhu. Read here.

The first Hadeeth in Saheeh Bukhari is Narrated by Umar Radhiyallahu 'Anhu.
Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khattab: I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for."

Narrated Uthman (may Allah be pleased with him) The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "The best among you (Muslims) are those who learn the Qur'an and teach it to others."

Narrated Ali ibn Abu Talib (may Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If only one day of this time (world) remained, Allah would raise up a man from my family who would fill this earth with justice as it has been filled with oppression.

These are just examples. There are many more Ahadeeth narrated by them.

[anonymous]

salaam, this topic has been discussed many times on this forum before. If anyone is interested, they can check the following links here:

http://www.islamicboard.com/hadeeth/...ct-hadith.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/aqeedah/...l-burhaan.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/miscella...nsion-isa.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/hadeeth/...ith-women.html

Also, make dua for me. I was approached by a brother in the masjid with regards to marrying a sister in the next community. I want whats best. Her father is a convert that has studied in Madinah so it may be easier on me in this regard.

insha' Allaah.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

I've deleted the Hadeeth rejecter's posts. He can look at the links provided above (jazakallah Khayr) where we've had free and open discussions with over 4 other hadeeth-rejecters in the past and can draw his own conclusions from there. Based on how nonproductive they were, with the hadeeth-rejecters not being able to foster a single proper logical argument, we won't be allowing a repeat.

[anonymous]

Came across this whilst browsing, u might want to check it out:

http://www.madinaharabic.com/Arabic_..._%20Course.htm