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idk
05-26-2009, 12:20 PM
my parents never let me out even though ALL my friends are muslim hijabis n theyre good people who try to convince me to wear hijab...
come to dat, my parents dont even let me out alone!
I feel suffocated and now i wanna do anything to go against them...they give me no money even though they owe me 75 pounds so i do things like sneak into the swimming pool at the leisure centre (ladies only day) and i would honestly, rather go back to foster care than live with them - i feel like dying.

My dad's always wishing for me to be cursed or for my life to end and things and the little respect i had for him has gone - he is my father but it is impossible in human nature to respect someone who treats you like dirt - he also said he doesnt want me to be his daughter and genuinely he talks to me with a disgusted tone and cannot bear to look at me sometimes...so he jus sends me out the room for no reason!

on top of all this he says Allah is on his side - so now i dont even have Allah with me. He says he is religious but doesnt even act it...
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S_87
05-26-2009, 02:00 PM
if you did nothing to provoke your father and he treats u as u describe then all i can say is he is violating the amanah that Allah gave him which is you imsad sorry that you are treated that way and that ur own dad says stuff like that SubhanAllah parents are supposed to be our safe net!
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Zico
05-26-2009, 02:08 PM
sis:sl:

Originally Posted by idk
my parents never let me out even though ALL my friends are muslim hijabis n theyre good people who try to convince me to wear hijab...
come to dat, my parents dont even let me out alone!
First of let me say that you are not the first nor the last one who feels this. I don't know you're age nor I want to but it is very normal to feel this way between the ages of 15-20.
You feel as if you're parents don't want nothing good for you or you know better about life than you're parents. I felt this way when I was younger. It's normal.
Originally Posted by idk
I feel suffocated and now i wanna do anything to go against them...they give me no money even though they owe me 75 pounds so i do things like sneak into the swimming pool at the leisure centre (ladies only day) and i would honestly, rather go back to foster care than live with them - i feel like dying.
Two points here I would like to make:

(1) Can you listen to yourself? Taking things such as '75 pounds' to account.
Whatever the amount is in the end they are your parents and these things, though minor, would amount to something that will destroy relationships with you're family rather than bridging them.

(2) What I have understood in you're post (and correct me if I'm wrong here) you were in a foster house before going back to you're biological parents right? If so then that explains a lot! How? You're parents are delighted for you're comeback and to show you there love (and that's the way it goes with parents I suppose) they become more protective than they usually are.


Originally Posted by idk
My dad's always wishing for me to be cursed or for my life to end and things and the little respect i had for him has gone - he is my father but it is impossible in human nature to respect someone who treats you like dirt - he also said he doesn't want me to be his daughter and genuinely he talks to me with a disgusted tone and cannot bear to look at me sometimes...so he just sends me out the room for no reason!
Again same as above, he is far to protective of you than he usually is due to the time you were not there in his life.
We as the children tend to overreact on things our parents do. Heck I still do that from time to time :-[ But nevertheless you have to understand in Islam they have a right onto you as you have yours onto them so long as you live in the same roof. When you live with your husband then the rights shift from the parents to the husband.

Also Islam emphasizes on family more than anything in this earth.

Originally Posted by idk
on top of all this he says Allah is on his side - so now i dont even have Allah with me. He says he is religious but doesnt even act it...
As brother Alpha Dude said is actually correct. He's wise!

This said I have to say that I am no psychologist so take my words with a pinch of salt if you want to. And Allah knows best.
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Yanal
05-26-2009, 02:16 PM
:sl:
I also use to have this problem this year because the transition from Elementary to High school was rough and maybe my parents feared me skipping blocks and smoking which I do not Alhumdulilah,I always feared they would not allow me so I made excuses to my friends whom apparently bought them but after a few persitent calls I got tempted and asked them and the surprisingly answer was yes.

My advice to you is that keep trying and inshAllah you will be able to get out with pride. Ameen!
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The Ruler
05-26-2009, 02:17 PM
Originally Posted by idk
my parents never let me out even though ALL my friends are muslim hijabis n theyre good people who try to convince me to wear hijab...
come to dat, my parents dont even let me out alone!
Right... You're, what, 15? 16? I would agree with your parents on not letting you out alone. I wasn't allowed out alone until 17 actually. Before 17, I took my time to get that trust. Trust isn't something you're born with. It happens over time. Just because you're your parents' child does not immediately entitle you to their trust.
And I'm wavering whether I should judge you on your previous posts/threads. If I do, I think you know what I'll say: it won't be any different to what I've already said.

I feel suffocated and now i wanna do anything to go against them...
Simply because you think they don't treat you well, you have the right to rebel? Where would you be standing without them?

they give me no money
You need money for what exactly?

even though they owe me 75 pounds
No dear. They don't owe you jacksugar. Do you know the amount you owe them?

My dad's always wishing for me to be cursed or for my life to end
Now, here is where I'm a little, uhhm. Perhaps he cursed you and wished your life to end at a time when you weren't in your best behaviour? Or perhaps he wasn't having the best time of his life? I suppose one thing the kids have to realise is that just because they're adults, they can't always avoid the issues they have in their lives to affect how they interact with others.
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