A strange phenomenon

I was on this mostly Arabic forum (trying still to get a translation) to some antiquated Arabic poem, when I chanced upon a few unusual threads, I must confess, I am rather glad to be a part of this Muslim community, since the preoccupation of the people on this other board seem so minute by comparison...

I just need to run this random anonymous poll, and pls don't describe or tell me anything about your person.. but I need to genuinely know your general idea of a beautiful person.. everyone can participate on this thread from all religions and all walks of life.. to make a comment, I was rather appalled to say the least that a sister on that forum in order to assert a point about how lovely her people are posted a picture of her son (who has green eyes) and made a comment about how her people don't have dark skin like they are often portrayed..

well I personally thought that is the least of her problems in such a case, but I think from my travels, I find a certain preoccupation with whitness and skin color.. maybe it hasn't affected me personally, since I grew up outside and many of my family members have major recessive traits almost bordering upon albinism themselves, but I never really viewed this as an asset, the many times I thought of purchasing a tanning bed and spent money on self tanning creams probably holds as an abomination in some of those regions... I guess maybe on some level I too have a particular concept of beauty but I like to believe it more than skin deep..

I wonder how we can cause a shift in gears so that the priorities of some of these people focuses on far more pressing issues, like their general condition, health, education and the despots that are governing them rather than whether their skin color makes them more nubile and desirable...

I was rather, sad and upset by the whole affair, I doubt that I'll last long on that forum, to begin with I simply wanted a transltion, but there is such a disparity of the thought process itself, after I made a very diplomatic comment which I am not sure how it will be received, I am sure to be banned in the very near future...

nonetheless.. I am making a small poll but you are certainly free to simply leave your comment without resorting to it..

Thank you in advance

p.s this is a multiple choice poll

I voted for the second last. But to add, i think there has to be at least a certain amount of outwardly appeal as well.

Alpha Dude said:

A combination of:

Someone who is phyically attractive regardless of color
Someone who is pious and God fearing
Beauty comes from the multiple layers of their personality which exudes them

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That's what I voted too.

Lol, it amuses me when people say "colored eyes", it's like 'what? when did brown stop being a color?'

Where I come from, and many other arab countries, the "beautiful" person is very white, has blue or green eyes, blond hair, tall, and thin. Now they could have the worst features ever, but if they fit that "color scheme", then they are considered beautiful. Ahh the rants my friends and I have about these societal ideals.

Beauty. Ahh beauty. Such a lovely thing to think about.
Of course, beauty is subjective. To me, it's the combination of everything that makes a person. It is physical attractiveness, an incredible personality, beautiful manners all blended in a harmonious mixture.

I may find gorgeous person ugly due to their lack of manners, or their dull or nasty personality. No matter how good they look, no one wants to spend time with a person with a lower IQ than a rock. A plain jane might be transformed into a lustrous charming person because of her great personality.

As for physical beauty, I don't think anyone can have a specific "ideal". I may say I like people with brown hair, but find someone with black hair good looking. It's impossible to pin point a certain set of features and say that that makes a beautiful person. Of course, people have preferences, so one may notice that the majority of people they find beautiful have a certain feature, but it's not the be all and end all of everything.

To say that "so and so" is beautiful is impossible, because beauty can only be judged individually, it depends on each specific person. And even then, what one person percieves as beautiful, might not be percieved that way by someone else.

Alpha Dude said:

A combination of:

Someone who is physically attractive regardless of color
Someone who is pious and God fearing
Beauty comes from the multiple layers of their personality which exudes them

Click to expand...

ditto!

crayon said:

Lol, it amuses me when people say "colored eyes", it's like 'what? when did brown stop being a color?'

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I was thinking the exact same thing.

Gossamer skye said:

rather than whether their skin color makes them more nubile and desirable...

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I'd never heard that word before. It sounds so amusing. I googled its meaning, and its meaning is even more amusing, lol! ;D
Thank you for teaching me something new!

crayon said:

I'd never heard that word before. It sounds so amusing. I googled its meaning, and its meaning is even more amusing, lol! ;D
Thank you for teaching me something new!

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lol.. thank you and thank you for your comment it was really worth reading, but I think I know why you wrote that comment on a more personal level..
You have nothing to prove to anyone and they do, and I am not sure where that NEED comes from, and it really is a need.. almost like what they have isn't enough.. there is always this vacillation between discontent and show offiness .. and it is very off putting to me personally...

I really believe with some of them that the color scheme you speak of is indeed more important than someone who is perceived as attractive all together... in other words if you put a brad pit vs keanu reeves, pit would be chosen simply for his recessive traits...

and then what they say and write wouldn't matter either because they can't get past their enchantment with their achromatic hues lol...

It is really very sad when you think about it, since I think that translates to other aspects of their lives and not simply stop at the superficial.. they genuinely deeply believe that whiteness equals more superior.. I wonder if this has to do with being occupied by the brits?

there was an experiment once carried out between two groups of children where they divided the blue eyed vs the brown eyed, doted on one group, and the other group really did believe that they were inferior.. I have to find the name of that experiment since I came across it in undergrad..

the problem now, is how to fix this on a massive scale?

Salaam,

Well as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you are a good person and God fearing regardless of your color I think that it will reflect on your face and give you a sense of serenity that people will be attracted to. At the same time humans like beauty in the physical sense so if you have a person who is physically pretty and God fearing while the other less physically pretty and also God fearing most people who choose the first as the most beautiful.

Gossamer skye said:

lol.. thank you and thank you for your comment it was really worth reading, but I think I know why you wrote that comment on a more personal level..
You have nothing to prove to anyone and they do, and I am not sure where that NEED comes from, and it really is a need.. almost like what they have isn't enough.. there is always this vacillation between discontent and show offiness .. and it is very off putting to me personally...

I really believe with some of them that the color scheme you speak of is indeed more important than someone who is perceived as attractive all together... in other words if you put a brad pit vs keanu reeves, pit would be chosen simply for his recessive traits...

and then what they say and write wouldn't matter either because they can't get past their enchantment with their achromatic hues lol...

It is really very sad when you think about it, since I think that translates to other aspects of their lives and not simply stop at the superficial.. they genuinely deeply believe that whiteness equals more superior.. I wonder if this has to do with being occupied by the brits?

there was an experiment once carried out between two groups of children where they divided the blue eyed vs the brown eyed, doted on one group, and the other group really did believe that they were inferior.. I have to find the name of that experiment since I came across it in undergrad..

the problem now, is how to fix this on a massive scale?

Click to expand...

Wa alaikum asalam

It's a need to be approved as "acceptable" by society. Soceity paints the ideal woman as X, so most women will try their best to be X. Ideal man as Y, they'll try to be Y. If they are anything other than X or Y they will do everything they can to change, and if they can't change, they hate themselves, have low self esteem and no self worth.

Lol, true about brad pitt vs. keanu reeves, that's exactly it... Hell, you could probably ask them to choose between john heder and keanu and they'd say john heder! Because he's blond and has blue eyes!:skeleton:

I've heard of that experiment, yeah, very interesting.

How to fix it? Now that is the question.
Get people to understand what beauty really is, and that it's not a one size fits all kind of thing.. How to do that? No clue.

crayon said:

How to fix it? Now that is the question.
Get people to understand what beauty really is, and that it's not a one size fits all kind of thing.. How to do that? No clue.

Click to expand...

Rofl, neither do I, but we have to, we recognize a problem, the next logical thing is to search for a solution.. I feel really compelled to do something but not sure how to do it..
also so long as they are fixated on such trivialities, they'll never recover to salvage the big picture, I just want to get a pail of cold water and toss it on all their heads collectively to wake up..

sob7an Allah.. isn't it sad how westerners perceive us, but the real misfortune is how we perceive ourselves ...imsad

kind, genuine and no makeup, red hair, freckles and confident. Trustworthy

^^ lol is your wife standing in the back of you with a knife and an 'aha it better be'?

Alpha Dude said:

A combination of:

Someone who is phyically attractive regardless of color
Someone who is pious and God fearing
Beauty comes from the multiple layers of their personality which exudes them

Click to expand...

salaam

same combination

peace

Gossamer skye said:

^^ lol is your wife standing in the back of you with a knife and an 'aha it better be'?

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you found me out, and yes I have got a bald spot from being under the thumb

Alpha Dude said:

Someone who is phyically attractive regardless of color
Someone who is pious and God fearing
Beauty comes from the multiple layers of their personality which exudes them

Click to expand...

... And someone with power. *Thinks Kaname, hmmh*

:salamext:
Same as Alpha Sr.

Someone who is phyically attractive regardless of color
Someone who is pious and God fearing
Beauty comes from the multiple layers of their personality which exudes them

Click to expand...

ditto...colour to me doesnt matter...i know a lot of people in my culture see white= handsome..but to me its not the skin colour only (im talking just on looks) and black- omg black :O or 'kaaroh/kaaree' and ive seen some people who have been deemed handsome only because of their colour but to me other than the 'whiteness':blind:

and of course the person can be the best looking but if their character sucks then in the end thats what really matters.

For me it would first have to be compatible sense of humour, because I do and say a lot of strange yet (sometimes) hilarious things; if you have that sense of humour already, we're good to roll (note: this is usually how I determine who's my friend or not, so if you possess these qualities, that is 10 brownie points already). Attractiveness to an extent but I'm not after jaw-dropping bombshells - medium build (that's another 10 brownie points). Piety also to an extent, but again not after some uber hafiz (not that that is a bad thing of course!)

It's weird, in some ways I'd want her to be my best friend (have a laugh, go out and watch transformers, play vs me on SF games) and in many others, I'd want her to replicate my mum (loving, caring, extremely accurate with her slipper-throwing techniques).

You know what, it is far too late for me to be talking about this. I'm going to bed.

extremely accurate with her slipper-throwing techniques).

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l o l

Quite an interesting thread. I have to agree with wise man, Alpha Dude (there's a reason he's Alpha)

Someone who is physically attractive regardless of color
Someone who is pious and God fearing
Beauty comes from the multiple layers of their personality which exudes them

Click to expand...

Just to add some more food for thought, in addition to the above, would there be something wrong with having a preference towards feature x or y? I mean, for example if a man does like something, such as green eyes or brown eyes for example, and would prefer it because he's attracted to it, is there something wrong in this? Assuming he will choose a wife based on proper criteria, what is the problem with liking certain things?

How to fix it? Now that is the question.
Get people to understand what beauty really is, and that it's not a one size fits all kind of thing.. How to do that? No clue.

Click to expand...

I think that's a mountain of a task when there's a massive ad campaign out there portraying a certain type of beauty as the ideal perfection.