Honestly, for what reasons would you reject a potential spouse?

[Frijj]

:sl:

For me, having no interest in Islam would be a real off-putting aspect in a wife, as would, naturally, me having no attraction to her.

So, what are your main off-putting factors?

[Raudha]

:sl:

Smoking
NO beard
No attraction
No sign of being a good father for my chidren
A general history of Haraam relationships with other women
Short-temperedness (If I can identify it obviously or from information given by reliable sources).....
inter alia

[nebula]

i think id reject a sister if,

she doesnt wear the FULL covering hijab,
if she wears hijab but wears the modern type of hijab if you know what i mean
shes not interested in islam
she only wears hijab coz her parents forced her too
im not 100% attracted to her, obviously this factor isnt as important her deen but it does matter abit, i dont mean to be shallow or anything
If shes not a good cook then sorry no marriage! lol just joking
She doesnt have a good character
swears alot etc

:exhausted

[Güven]

No interest in Islam and not attractive (to me), not respecting parents, arrogance.

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[syilla]

:salamext:

and how do you reject them? what words will you use?

I'm already married... and i can't remember if i've ever given the choice. lol

[crayon]

and how do you reject them? what words will you use?

"Next!"

But yeah, it's near impossible to answer a question like this. First of all, there's so many different aspects of a person to take into consideration. And secondly, until it really happens and you meet the specific person, you can't know for sure. For example, if I say I don't want to marry a brother who doesn't have a beard. Then a potential who is absolutely perfect in all ways arrives- without a beard. Perhaps he doesn't know it is obligatory? Perhaps he is just struggling with this one particular thing? Perhaps he can't grow a beard?
So we may say something now, and end up with someone totally different to who we anticipated, but even more awesome perhaps.

[Yanal]

Doing everything against Islam and no respect towards people and my parents who have raised me to me.May Allah allow them in Heaven! Ameen!

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

There are a lot of religious sisters (with the whole package, piety, modesty, beauty etc) out there and it's not hard to find them. However, two things need to be taken into account:
1) In terms of deen, not everyone's at the same level, so I would want her to be at my level (ideally), or a little higher (preferably) or a little lower (with motivation but just needs support, no problem w/ that). But not with someone when our understanding of the religion doesn't match, in terms of how she views sisters' roles, brother's roles, raising children, etc.
2) We need to be on the same page in terms of short-term/long-term life planning, does she want kids, how many, is she ok with travelling to seek knowledge, that kind of thing etc.

So a reason for rejecting would be if our understanding of the deen didn't match, or we have different plans for our future - the kind of things that aren't neccasarily problems at the moment, but can become problems in the long-term.

[Ansariyah]

chauvinistic....
No charisma
No mental Connection
Obsessive

[-Elle-]

"Next!"

But yeah, it's near impossible to answer a question like this. First of all, there's so many different aspects of a person to take into consideration. And secondly, until it really happens and you meet the specific person, you can't know for sure. For example, if I say I don't want to marry a brother who doesn't have a beard. Then a potential who is absolutely perfect in all ways arrives- without a beard. Perhaps he doesn't know it is obligatory? Perhaps he is just struggling with this one particular thing? Perhaps he can't grow a beard?
So we may say something now, and end up with someone totally different to who we anticipated, but even more awesome perhaps.

So true!...You said it perfectly.

Generally speaking though, I don't think I would "click" with someone who is...shy and calm. I have alot of ambitions and love joking around,so someone who isn't very talkative or always serious I couldn't spend the rest of my life with...

As for him being religious or not; if he made mistakes in the past and wishes to become a better muslim, then I'd marry him on the condition that he has the right intention to change and better himself...you'd get so much ajr and it would be an amazing accomplishment... it's a risk to take but I think someone find their way to the right path is worth it:D. So I wouldn't refuse a man who wasn't as religious as me.

What else...if there's no attraction that's obvious, most people mentioned that.

Arrogance is also a HUGE put-off; I hate it.(note there's a difference between "confidence" and arrogance:)

and how do you reject them? what words will you use?

There's no Naseeb. Or...I'm still studying:|.LOL.Kidding now, "I'm still studying" might actually be a genuine reason as to someone refusing a marriage proposal.

:w:

[wth1257]

"Next!"

I know it has become an internet cliche, but that really did make me laugh out loud:D




To the OP, I guess eight little words work just fine.

"I really just like you as a friend"

[AntiKarateKid]

If shes good looking and pious, she'd be wife material.

If shes bad looking and pious, she'd be friend material.

Simple right?

Though if she's the airhead type of desi.... that is an utter complete 100% turnoff.

[ayesha309]

I would reject someone if my istikhara came out as a no, even though he fit many of the requirements for a "potential"....

[anonymous]

theres a few but 2 come to mind: pre-marital flirting and lack of manners.

[Dawud_uk]

:sl:

i can say what i looked for before i found my wife, who alhamdulillah fit my criteria.

1. my first was to establish whether a husband or wife is upon the correct aqeedah and manhaj, fiqh not being important on this level.

even if someone is not of the correct aqeedah and manhaj is this due to ignorance or misguidance?

i.e if a husband or wife says Allah is everywhere, meaning no where or without a place and you explain in the marriage negotiations that they are incorrect and give the daleel and they change their position and they just didnt know better themselves.

you can ask this by asking them certain questions, such as where is Allah? then having follow up questions. like 'what would you say if i told you imam abu hanifa held Allah be above his throne, would you say you are still correct or imam abu hanifa was correct in his understanding? also giving one or two of the ayats where Allah says he rose over his throne.

2. next, is a yearning for the deen.

that is a love for Allah and his Rasool (saws), for practicing and promoting islam, you can establish this by asking them questions about hijrah or jihad, a true believer who has entered into islam wholeheartedly will yearn for such things, others will panic and run a mile at such suggestions only wanting a comfortable life here in the uk as they do not want to make sacrifices for Allah.

this is because to me and in my advice to others i tell them it is better to have a sister who practices as best she can, but maybe even new to practicing but has this yearning for the deen than a sister who covers fully, reads Quran daily but doesnt ever want to go further than this, the first sister you can help bring her up in knowledge, the 2nd is harder and most likely as you develop in the deen you might end up having to leave her behind.

3. good character

does she have good character, if not entirely then what are the flaws and can you realistically live with them? dont think you can change these, yes it might be possible but it isnt always so if you cant live with them explain you think your characters are not compatable and walk away.

4. everything else.

according to your own desires for a wife with beauty, intelligence, etc etc.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

i.e if a husband or wife says Allah is everywhere, meaning no where or without a place and you explain in the marriage negotiations that they are incorrect and give the daleel and they change their position and they just didnt know better themselves.

interesting...but how would you know that they would change their opinion for the sake of getting married, and not because they truly see the truth get me? how do you deal with that?

[Nihila]

Disrespectful to parents - this says a LOT.
Lack of taqwa - a man who has lots of knowledge but does not act upon it is a no-go in my opinion
Lack of desire to learn - someone who does not wish to better themselves is unlikely to want to help you do so
Rudeness/arrogance/swearing like a pirate!

[Dawud_uk]

:sl:

interesting...but how would you know that they would change their opinion for the sake of getting married, and not because they truly see the truth get me? how do you deal with that?

because i've only just met them, there is no emotional attachment yet.

[Danah]

First, its hard to find someone perfect and fulfulling all charactaristic you look for. But the more is the better I guess

For me, the rejection reasons can be:

- not being religious, well...at least to the level I want him to be in
- NOT respecting HIS parent...because if he does not respect them I will not have a hope that he will respect me or my parent
- being one of my relatives (cousins...etc) because I am not a fan of relatives marriage
- smoking

:salamext:

and how do you reject them? what words will you use?

telling my parent: "No, I dont want to marry someone like that"
and it happened with me...end of story! :)

[7oor El 3ayn]

The turnoffs (in no particular order):

1. Lack of Deen would be #1 reason to reject someone

2. No respect for his own parents....if he cant respect his own parents, how will he be able to respect mine?!

3. No character/self-respect

4. Uses foul language

5. Childish behavior/not finished being breastfed by his mother

6. talks to opposite gender/flirts

7. Arrogance

8. Jobless

9. dresses like or imitates the non-believers (baggy pants, corn rows, jewelry, etc)

10. Listens to Music

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

because i've only just met them, there is no emotional attachment yet.

i don't see how that's relevant though :? some people would just go with the flow because they see a potential (whether there is a emotional attachment or not) and therefore may change their preferences...i hope that makes sense...

[shock_proof]

I'd never consider marrying anyone if they were:
Rude
Arrogant
Not open minded
Treat me as lower than them
Racist
Right wing
Disrepectful

And other qualities which havent popped into my head straigt away.

[innerawareness]

arrogance

[Sahabiyaat]

# 1 lack of deen.

flirting with the opposite gender, in other words no sense of shame or haya.(this is the most worst thing for me next to lack of deen)

plus most of the aforementioned such as no respect for others, bad manners etc...


but its amazing how much of a show some people can put on to impress you.

i advise brothers JUST BE YOURSELF! a fake attitude to impress can be smelt a mile off and is a major turn off!

dont change ur voice, mannersim, body language, nothing. just behave as you normally would, otherwise u r just decieving yourself and the other person into believeing u r somebody u r not!

anger.
i can smell a short fuse 20 miles off.
you can be mr perfect with the one fault of being an angry person, and you can say goodbye.

[aadil77]

I've told my mum why I'd never marry any of my potential cousins:

-they don't dress islamically
-for them islam is just something you learn about when you're young: only quran and salah.
-they don't have the looks, maybe if they kept themselves covered and preserved Allah may have given them more natural beauty

But most of this is due to pakistani upbringing and the environment in the islamic republic of Pakistan. But my mum says you can change them once you get married, I said well its not my problem they're old enough to make their own choices and I shouldn't have to worry about others faults

I also told my mum not to try and change them herself over the phone lol, so no cousin mariages for me, brapp!

[7oor El 3ayn]

I also told my mum not to try and change them herself over the phone lol, so no cousin mariages for me, brapp!

LOOOOOL Mothers! ya gotta love 'em!!

As the saying goes: you cannot change a man unless hes in diapers!

same applies here...a person must be willing to change themselves FOR themselves....*smiles*

[Banu_Hashim]

- If she had no modesty or islamic ettiquette what so ever
- Arrogance
- An unwillingness to want to learn more about Islam and knowledge in general
- If I'm not feeling it, chemistry wise...
- Being kind of an air head...
- Dislike for kids lol (obvious)

[The Ruler]

Ugliness.

[redblackmask]

I personally would reject someone based on their personality and appearance. I don't want someone who is a nasty person AND looks bad.

My golden rule is: Make sure you know the person in ALL aspects of life before you get involved in those aspects in life with them.

[Muezzin]

Honestly, for what reasons would you reject a potential spouse?

1) Zero interest in (or worse, negative attitude to) Islam.

2) She looks like a he.

3) She is a he.

4) She smokes like a chimney.

5) She's an alcoholic.

6) She has no sense of humour (or it is incompatible with mine).

7) She's 'loose'.

8) She's incapable of having an intelligent conversation.

[Ansariyah]

Some of the reblys here are jst hillerious!

Comedy!

[Snowflake]

1. No love for Allah, His rasul (saw) & deen.

2.
a) Picks his nose in public.
b) Picks his nose anywhere and thinks it's ok to eat/feed you without washing his hands.

3. Has gum disease and fails to acknowledge that a cure exists.


P.S. We wouldn't know a lot of the things we've said until after marriage. :eek:

[youngsister]

:sl:
If he is not practising
No physical attraction
No connection
No sense of humour
Jobless
Not compatible, this could be for example if he wants to take on a second wife..or not want me to work at all. Didnt want to make hijra etc..

[convert]

:sl:

i can say what i looked for before i found my wife, who alhamdulillah fit my criteria.

1. my first was to establish whether a husband or wife is upon the correct aqeedah and manhaj, fiqh not being important on this level.

even if someone is not of the correct aqeedah and manhaj is this due to ignorance or misguidance?

i.e if a husband or wife says Allah is everywhere, meaning no where or without a place and you explain in the marriage negotiations that they are incorrect and give the daleel and they change their position and they just didnt know better themselves.

you can ask this by asking them certain questions, such as where is Allah? then having follow up questions. like 'what would you say if i told you imam abu hanifa held Allah be above his throne, would you say you are still correct or imam abu hanifa was correct in his understanding? also giving one or two of the ayats where Allah says he rose over his throne.

this is honestly laughable. i have heard stories of people who had potentials write essays as to what tawheed means to them.

so far as manhaj questions? lolol really?

look, ask their family and friends what islamic activities they attend and ask them who they have studied under and whose lectures they watch. these direct questions like this are lame.

i dont have a lot of nullifiers to be honest. mostly with regards to how the family will treat me, what her concept of family life is, and generally making sure shes not of the cult of the modernist muslim.

but you can be indirect in finding this stuff out. why make an already almost unbearably awkward situation more awkward by making them take a deen test?

[nocturne]

Sorry to side-track abit. How do you actually learn more about a prospective girl?

As of now, we can only rely on our parents/siblings to talk with the girl and relay us the information. Obviously, dating is a no-no, but what other options are there??

[S_87]

:sl:
If he is not practising
No physical attraction
No connection
No sense of humour
Jobless
Not compatible,

pretty much that, plus if not taller than me

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

1. No beard
2. Arrogance
3. Not practising
4.No manners
5. Disrespect to his parents or elders
6. How he treats women - How he treats and speaks to the women in his family will show how he will treat me.
7. Smokers/drinkers
8. Attraction

Looks aren't a huge issue for me...as long as im attracted, even if its not a huge amount. I can live with it. What I find attractive others will find unattractive. What I find unattractive, others will find attractive...so really no one is UGLY and we shouldnt call them that.

:sl:

[Frijj]

1. No beard
2. Arrogance
3. Not practising
4.No manners
5. Disrespect to his parents or elders
6. How he treats women - How he treats and speaks to the women in his family will show how he will treat me.
7. Smokers/drinkers
8. Attraction

Looks aren't a huge issue for me...as long as im attracted, even if its not a huge amount. I can live with it. What I find attractive others will find unattractive. What I find unattractive, others will find attractive...so really no one is UGLY and we shouldnt call them that.

:sl:

You'd rejecta guy for being attracted to him? That is a first. :D

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^Huh?
Sorry that wasnt meant to be numbered...people were talking about attraction so i put it down and then gave a brief statement on it, in my opinion.


lol

[SyedBhukari]

1) no physical attraction
2) no intention of being a better muslim

3) too materialistic or cant hold a conversation

[GuestFellow]

Well personally I don't like the idea of getting married. It is kind of weird...I think I might grow out of it or something... :/

Honestly, for what reasons would you reject a potential spouse?

1) Has no interest in Islam.

2) Does not complete 5 daily prayers.

3) Does not wear a Hijab.

4) Rude and complains.

5) Gossip type. I can't STAND girls who gossip. They are annoying and give you a headache.

6) If I don't feel attracted to her.

7) If she is not independent.

8) No sense of humour.

9) Had previous relationship with other guys.

10) If she is lazy.

If I had to reject her, I would say: ''I'm sorry, I am not good enough for you.''

[cool_jannah]

:sl:

For me, having no interest in Islam would be a real off-putting aspect in a wife, as would, naturally, me having no attraction to her.

So, what are your main off-putting factors?

:sl:
1) Has no love for Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) and RasoolAllah (salallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) and this beautiful Deen.

2) Does not wear Niqab (or thinks that women shouldn't wear Niqab). I cannot imagine myself marrying a girl who does not wear Niqab. Alhamdulillah.

3) Is not physically attractive.

4) Does not have good akhlaaq. (I guess when a girl is pious, it includes her character etc. so that takes care of that)

I guess thats pretty much it.

:w:

[جوري]

haven't read the whole thread so forgive if these have been answered before..
here is to striving for perfection...

1- poor hygiene and that is definitely first on the list
2- effeminate
3- unintelligent
4- incompatible with me in areas where I seek nurture and interest like (a great conversationalist, religious, witty and self sufficient, defiant but tender in a non-effeminate way, and having great presence when walking in a room, respectful)
5- not being driven and goal directed in a leveled sort of way..
6- of course attraction is high on the list, I won't get into height because that is somewhat superficial but I don't see how the others can take flight if basic attraction isn't there ...

:w:

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

2- effeminate

oh god yh, so true +o(

and having great presence when walking in a room, respectful)

that made me just "lol" ;D

[جوري]

:sl:

oh god yh, so true +o(

that made me just "lol" ;D

it is called heiba, Omar ibn ilkhtab had that, caused a woman to miscarry once, and she actually filed charges against him for involuntary slaughter and won.. I am not saying I want him to cause women to miscarry, but have a great presence ...

:w:

[Raaina]

Unable to hold a conversation
Unintelligent

These are the two things that are a big turn off for me.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Edit

[Pk_#2]

I'd reject a guy if he was:

1) Gay.. :skeleton:
2) Non-Muslim
3) Lanky :X
4) Jobless
5) Doesn't live in England

[Al Ansari]

as salaamu 'alaikum,

Brother Dawud, that was well said. MashAllaah.

A course for rejections would be of course aqueedah and her longing to know more about the deen of Allaah. To sacrifice for Allaah and his messenger. Hijrah and Jihaad Fisibilillah for Allaah is a big, big point for me. She has to love jihaad fisibilillah.

My priority is her deen, she has to pray and wear the hijab and know the basic ettiquettes of male and female (non-mahram) conditions.

Any doubt in aqueedah which is established will turn me away.

Wa Allaahu alim.

[Layla454]

- No piety
- Bad manners
- Poor hygiene
- Poor adab

[GuestFellow]

1) Gay.. :skeleton:
]

Actually that would be one of my worst nightmares. To be married to a women who is attracted to the same gender. :skeleton:

[Imam]

1- Doesn't keep home secrets.

2- talks so much.

3- make noise.

4- Doesn't respect her parents.

5- smells bad.

6-much Sensitive.

7 too materialistic

8 Rude and complains.

9 -one who care alot for her hijab or niqab and less with the way she behaves with the society...


other than that I have no problem with color,body size ,language, country ,whether hijab or niqab ,how much education(though i prefer one is clever in mathematics as i used not to be clever in it lol :))

[buddy1]

you know you meet these different people and theres a creepy thing about them, the way they look at you, or the way they act, BIG NOO NOO!!

a man being uninterested in children, although im separated and a mother to three, when i was originally looking for a life partner, children and family was one of the most important thing!

[Sizzlerjimer]

I've told my mum why I'd never marry any of my potential cousins:

-they don't dress islamically
-for them islam is just something you learn about when you're young: only quran and salah.

But most of this is due to pakistani upbringing and the environment in the islamic republic of Pakistan But my mum says you can change them once you get married, I said well its not my problem they're old enough to make their own choices and I shouldn't have to worry about others faults

Above mentioned reasons are the exact reasons i will not marry anyone from pakistan INSALLAH.i cant seem to find the righteous,pious practicing muslimah who wears a hijab and lives her life in an islamic way instead when i tell my elders i am looking for these qualities in my wife they look at me like are you crazy.The only thing girls are interesed in pakistan is how to get rid of there husbands mum and sisters and other relatives and how to be the only ONE, you know what i mean.

I am from pakistan and i have been here for 5.5yrs and honestly i have gained more islamic knowledge here in UK then in the SO CALLED islamic republic of pakistan.

I want to marry a rightoeus,pious, practicing muslimah but hey you know what i cant because i am a............... FRESHY.Me being not a red passport holder comes first then me being a practicing muslim.I think girls from uk or eu when they say we are looking for a practicing muslim they should specify if your praticing but your a FRESHY sorry we are not interested.Where is FRESHYISM(new word lol) in islam????ALL i want is to fulfil the sunnah of the PROPHET (SAW).

This is my opinion but i ask you brothers and sisters especially sisters does freshyism play a part in rejecting some one?


Jazak ALLAH

[noorseeker]

I think i would just wait to see who rejects me, ive always thought id marry who ever wants to marry me, coz im in no position to make demands

[Faye]

Reasons for rejecting suitors
1. Creepiness
2. Creepy family
3. Non-practicingness
4. Huge, interfering, non-practicing family (even if the guy is practicing)
5. Lack of desire to increase in Islam and lack of respect for Ilm and Olama
6. Desire to live outside Pakistan, particularly in the US/UK
7. Lack of willingness to wait until I finish studying to get married (there is only 2 years left, after all, and I'm young)
8. Non-Halaal income source
9. No desire for children
10. Coarse mannered or uneducated
11. Can't laugh
12. He doesn't have to be earning now, but he should be willing and capable of eventually supporting me and as many children as Allah grants us.
13. He has to speak at least one language that I also speak. Other than that, I don't care about racial background. I'm a mongrel myself.

And how would I reject them...Simple, that's my parents job. They makeup some excuse to tell the intermediary on the other side (usually: She's still studying), who then informs the suitor. Nobody gets rejected to their face.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a Pakistani.:D

[Layla454]

Reasons for rejecting suitors

4. Huge, interfering, non-practicing family (even if the guy is practicing)

I can understand interfering but if his family is non-practising, its not really his fault so I think thats a bit unfair

[Sizzlerjimer]

Reasons for rejecting suitors
1. Creepiness
2. Creepy family
3. Non-practicingness
4. Huge, interfering, non-practicing family (even if the guy is practicing)
5. Lack of desire to increase in Islam and lack of respect for Ilm and Olama
6. Desire to live outside Pakistan, particularly in the US/UK
7. Lack of willingness to wait until I finish studying to get married (there is only 2 years left, after all, and I'm young)
8. Non-Halaal income source
9. No desire for children
10. Coarse mannered or uneducated
11. Can't laugh
12. He doesn't have to be earning now, but he should be willing and capable of eventually supporting me and as many children as Allah grants us.
13. He has to speak at least one language that I also speak. Other than that, I don't care about racial background. I'm a mongrel myself.


If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a Pakistani.:D

asalam u alikum wa rehmatulahi wa berkathu

how is the family creepy??:uhwhat

what is a mongrel??

if your in pakistan you either speak urdu or english or do you know othe languages like pushto,sindhi etcc???:)

Jazak ALLAH

[Sahabiyaat]

I think i would just wait to see who rejects me, ive always thought id marry who ever wants to marry me, coz im in no position to make demands

whoa
have some self confidence man.

[Cabdullahi]

We can put up all the constraints we like regarding marriage but i can assure you that half of them will either be forgotten about or the person who you are preordained to marry wont fit the criterion the exact way you wanted

so therefore i wont make an off-putting list i will just bide my time and see what the future holds for me

someone said i wont marry a smelly person as if the other half will walk around smelling like the sewers around the marriage and getting to know each other period

They will have the best aroma why? because they are trying to get married!!

[Faye]

I can understand interfering but if his family is non-practising, its not really his fault so I think thats a bit unfair

I'm not talking about fault. But you have to live with them, raise your children around them. Once they're your family you don't get to break off connections with them. You can't choose your birth family, but you can try to choose your marriage family.

[Faye]

asalam u alikum wa rehmatulahi wa berkathu

how is the family creepy??:uhwhat

what is a mongrel??

if your in pakistan you either speak urdu or english or do you know othe languages like pushto,sindhi etcc???:)

Jazak ALLAH

Illegal/Political connections = extremely creepy (to me)
A mongrel is a person of mixed racial background.
I heard of a Pakistani girl (classmate of a friend) who married a man from some South American country, and went to live in his country. They didn't have any common languages = communicated in sign language for the first couple of months. Scary.
I can speak three languages and understand two more (if spoken slowly).:statisfie

[Beardo]

I know how to speak a language from where I come from, but whenever I speak it, my relatives laugh because I have an English accent. That's why I don't even want to go back home anymore... It's hard to communicate.

At the same time, those subcontinental countries get very amazed when you say you come from America. And the businessmen are very smart, despite them having no education. I remember I went into a store, and right away the guy asked me if I'm from out of country. I said yes, and then of course he over charged me. :exhausted

[Clover]

Um, not a lot, but some of them would be:

If she is a *****, like she sleeps around then obviously not.
If she is a porn star.
If she does drugs, other then marijuana, which I am ok with, even though I wouldn't let her do near the kids, or me.
If she is going to kill me once Life Insurance is good.
If she doesn't believe in herself.

Their are others, but them are all I can think of at first.

[Salahudeen]

1. If she had male friends

2. If I found out that she takes her hijaab off for special occassions like weddings and poses in pictures without hijaab on the special occassions.

3. If she didn't cover up and dress modestly e.g no hijaab, loose clothing

4. If she wasn't interested in learning about Islam and going to seminars and lectures

5. if she wasn't hardcore into the deen, lol I need some 1 who loves to talk about Islam 24/7 lol

6. If I didn't find her physically attractive

7. If she was materialisitc and had to have all the latest hand bags lol

8. If she was self centered and had the "It's all about me, me and me attitude".

9. If she only thought about herself and lived in a fairy world and compares her life to bollywood films lol

10. If she was one of those people who crave attention 24/7 and when they don't get it they get in a strop and mood.

11. If she thought it was ok to have a harmless conversations with guys

12. If she had bad manners and talked disrespectfully to her elders

[Sizzlerjimer]

asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

squiggle ur on the same wave length as me brother these are the exacttttttttttttttttttttttttt reasons for me saying no especialy no8 thats like a big no no for me

faye are your three languages that you CAN speak are URDU,PUNJABI & ENGLISH :hiding:and the two more languages might be PUSHTO or SINDHI.
There are mixed race people in pakistan i had no idea but good to know there are but where do they all live??probably lahore or islamabad or perhaps karachi.

Jazak ALLAH

[Clover]

I have to say on the male friends thing, I am ok with that, as long as they remain friends, but a lot of girls I know, have a hard time keeping guy friends, just friends. I personally, am a jealous kinda guy, and if I caught my girl with another guy, I'd probably get very upset, and leave her, tell her the truth about herself. The guy, well, I don't know, it wouldn't be pretty to say the least.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

There are mixed race people in pakistan i had no idea but good to know there are but where do they all live??probably lahore or islamabad or perhaps karachi.

Jazak ALLAH

yea there are, but its the same everywhere :p Being kashmiri runs in ma blood but i don't even speak the language.

[Salahudeen]

asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

squiggle ur on the same wave length as me brother these are the exacttttttttttttttttttttttttt reasons for me saying no especialy no8 thats like a big no no for me


Jazak ALLAH

I know, I can't stand people like that so big headed, I need a humble women :hmm:

[Sizzlerjimer]

yea there are, but its the same everywhere :p Being kashmiri runs in ma blood but i don't even speak the language.

asalam u alikum wa rehamtualhi wa berkathu

aha jee aha kashmiri do you know what they are famous for??dnt hit me well you cant hit me but dnt hit the pc screen they are famous for EATINGGGGGG loadzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:hiding:

let me tell you a joke about kashmiris

a kashmiri, an arayien and a rajput were sitting have a dinner, there host was a jutt. they all started eating and ate loads and loads.they had been eating for an hour.arayein,rajput and jutt stopped eating but the kashmiri said to the jutt the host, Man i had enough of the starters bring on the main dish :hiding::embarrass;D

LOH do you know what payeys are?lamb payey yummmyyyyy its basically lambs brain and legs sounds disgusting but i cant explain it in english ufff pata hoo gaa payey kya hootay hein

you being kashmiri is not mixed race what i meant was mixed race as in i havent seen a pakistani married to black person etc etc in pakistan but seen them here in UK.

brother sqiugle a friend of mine made an observation about westeren girls, he was mainly talking about asian clan he said asian girls in west especialy UK are sooooooo big headed and ego centric(its a word ryt?)they donot say me and you they say ME ME ME.

May ALLAH give all of us single people a practicing and pious spouse and may ALLAH help us in bringing up a family full of islamic values. AMEEN

Jazak Allah

[GuestFellow]

I know, I can't stand people like that so big headed, I need a humble women :hmm:

And if they have an attitude problem. Some girls have a serious problem with their attitude and I can't tolerate that.

I don't like girls who put makeup on and use those things that they put on their eyes. They look demonic :skeleton:

Oh I don't like girls who like shopping too much. I don't want to spend hours with my wife window shopping or looking at clothes that your not even going to buy. >__>

Oh and I don't like girls who watch too much Bollywood movies... >_<

[Clover]

Hey Hey Hey, a lot of girls are cute when they put that stuff on. Just saying, but I know I can't stand girls who spend 50$ on it a week. I need a wife who is just honorable, loyal, and honest. Other then that, I don't care. Unless she tries to kill me in my sleep, then I might have a problem.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I was just thinking. I'm hoping that people here are also the way they expect their future wife/husband to be, otherwise it's kinda hypocritical. Let's examine ourselves :p

[GuestFellow]

Let's examine ourselves

Hmmm

I can be quite boring and moody. I got an awful memory and awful listening skills. Yeah I need to work on that.

:/

Hey Hey Hey, a lot of girls are cute when they put that stuff on.

Not when they paint their face with red and blue or put glitter on their eyes and face..... O.o

[Clover]

Not when they paint their face with red and blue or put glitter on their eyes and face..... O.o

Lack of taste :cry:

[Muhaba]

I don't want a guy who doesn't have or won't grow a beard, who isn't practicing, who isn't educated, who has a haraam job and isn't willing to change it, who doesn't want children, who yells a lot (I can't stand yelling), who isn't good-looking or at least average-looking.

i forgot to add: who gets angry fast, who starts hitting ppl, etc.

[Salahudeen]

I forgot to add

9. If she smoked cigarettes
10. If she smoked sheesha
11. If she knew more about bollywood than Islam (very much the case now days) :(
12. If she talked in a fake stuck up posh voice that wasn't her real voice

12 really anoys me there's this girl in my class and whenever she talks in her fake posh (stuck up voice) I get soo anoyed I don't know why I feel like hitting something out of anoyance :S lol it's jus so irritating comes across all arroganty

[KiWi]

:sl:

i wouldnt want a guy who...
~doesnt practice islam
~is rude to his parents/family (especially to his mother)
~is disloyal
~is a liar
~is a cheater
~is disrespectful
~uses violence to get his point across (I CANNOT STAND GUYS WHO ACT LIKE THEY ARE MACHO MAN!! :raging:)
~doesnt have beard (this doesnt apply if he's unable to grow it..there're actually brothers out there who wants to grow beard but cant)
~likes free mixing
~smokes
~drinks
~eats pork (yuk!! +o()

so basically the main one is not practicing islam
i think if he was a good practicing muslim...he wouldnt fall into the rest of the categories on the list
he'd know wats rite n wrong
n he would keep himself from haram

that's all for now :statisfie