View Full Version : Convert Love Dillemma. Need Knowledge!

08-16-2009, 12:41 AM
Salamoalaykum, I am a muslim convert. For the past 4 years alhamdullah, I have been learning Islam and struggling as a new muslim. Recently, alhamdullah, I am faced with a great thing. At work there is a muslim gentleman who I have become particularly found of, my modesty and shyness causes me to not even look at him more than what is necessary during work and to just as seldom speak to him. Yet, in these past weeks that I have known him, I have fallen deeply in love with him (well atleast that is how my heart feels), I found out he attends an Islamic university overseas and has memorized the entire quran. His manners are immaculate. I am completely intrigued by him and wish to pursue a relationship, however, it must be purely Islamic. I am afraid that my shyness and extreme modesty has made him think that I am uninterested in him. After we greet eachother I do all that is possible to avoid him because of I am so nervous around him. How can I send him the right message without it being 1) haram and 2) culturally wrong (he is egyptian) or 3) strange? And what type of interaction is permissible between him and me? To what extent, if any, are we allowed to engage in conversation?

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08-16-2009, 10:55 AM
If we're going to talk purely Islam then I believe the best thing is to send a male family member to talk with him because according to that you're not even allowed to stay alone in the same room you and him. But the thing is that you're interested in him, maybe he knows maybe not. Maybe he wants to wait and that's why he pretends like nothing or maybe he simply hasn't noticed at all. I would like to say "if you're brave you could talk a little more with him" and stuff like that, but I wouldn't do that really since of many reasons, shyness is one of these too. Anyway you've got to get to know if he's not already married and some other stuff. Maybe you like him but not the way he is? If he's interested of you after you've gotten to know it then you can meet with another person with you too and see what kind of person he is (outside of the Islamic good things he does, you have to see how he is as a person too). Maybe that's a thing which wouldn't make you work fine together as a couple. And are you both ready to marry if that would happen? Also with money and everything to not fall into fitna?
But I have a feeling that if he is that much practising Muslim as you tell (as if there's a grade of it but you know what I mean, I'm not categorizing) then he shouldn't find it weird either that you send someone else to talk with him and see his plans and thoughts.
Inshallah it will work fine :)

08-16-2009, 11:02 AM
Lol I just found out you've posted this on two places... Anyway, I wrote my answer here and am toootally alone about it.

Ummu Sufyaan
08-16-2009, 11:05 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam
couldn't you get someone to speak to him for you, maybe your brother, the local imam? all the best sis :)

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