Muminah421's Poetry Thread

[Pen Marks]

:sl:

In the darkness
I’m lying
The darkness
Is closing in
I don’t know where I am
Don’t know what to do

But you came in
Pulled me towards your light
And I lay there
In your arms
As you held me tight

And I felt it
Your heart beat
Beating hard and fast
As if jumping out of your chest
You thought I wouldn’t last

But I did
Yes, I did

I saw you
I saw you in my dreams
you were there
But it’s not what it seems

You stabbed me
You pierced me
With your little dart
While the droplets
Of sadness
Drained out of my heart

And it emptied
So empty
Yes, it did
So empty

Then you showed me
The right way
The right way I should go
And you taught me
You taught me
The things that I should know

And you whispered
In my ear
Some very good things
Good things
That matter
That my soul still sings…

And thank you
Yes, thank you
Thank you oh so much
I’ll remember
Your warm words
And your gentle touch…

:w:

[Nájlá]

:sl:
You stabbed me
You pierced me
With your little dart
While the droplets
Of sadness
Drained out of my heart
:w:

jazakallah khair sis for sharing:)

[Pen Marks]

:bump:

[Pen Marks]

A Long Road

I walk on a road long and hard
I have a goal and a strong will
But will Allah give me strenghth and power
To be able to get across that hill?
*
I walk toward an end
An End that I do not see
But I'm not scared...why?
'Cause I know Allah's with me
*
I travel on remembering my Lord
And now I'm more stronger than i ever was before
I've submited my will and I'm happy content,
But forever I will be striving for more
*
I haven't gotten to the hard part yet
The road is still paved and smooth
The Dunya is a store-filled reststop
But I will not stop at Shaitan's booth

By: Me

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[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ wow its pretty cool mashAllah

[Yanal]

There is a Hadith where it says not to be special because "Narrated by AbuSalmah, the prophet (pbuh) said "That a believer is simple and generous but the profiligate is decitful and ignoable."

[*Yasmin*]

Ma shaa' Allah , meaningful:thumbs_up
baraka Allahu feke ukhte

[Pen Marks]

jazakallah khair

[chacha_jalebi]

aaa nice

[Zahida]

:sl: Thankyou for sharing that with us, it was very beautiful............:w::)

[Pen Marks]

aaa nice

:sl: Thankyou for sharing that with us, it was very beautiful............:w::)

thanks! :D

[Pen Marks]

:sl:

Comment and Critique plz

They say they want to speak
But they never listen or hear
They say they want to be unique
But they're just copycats, never sincere
They say that they're weak
But they never get stronger, are they too full of fear?
They say they want to think
But do they ever use their minds, do they ever adhere?

They stand, but they're dead with no growth
Not just the women, not just the men, but both
"Hold tight to the rope" they were told
But yet behold!
The rope dangles in front of their eyes
And still to lazy to grab the prize?
Some more ambitious are barely holding on
And if they tried harder, surely they would be drawn
High above where those lazy ones will never set their eyes
High above in the highest of paradise

I'm not sure what inspired it but yeh... :hmm: Let me know what yu think..

[Muhaba]

It's a good poem!

[Duhaa786M]

Masha-Allah sis! thats really great, do you always write such things?

[Beardo]

Masha'Alllah!!!

Minor correction: 3rd line, you said "the say", I believe you meant "they say"

[alcurad]

try to avoid too much rhyme, I know that sounds counter intuitive, but you can only express so much hen constrained with rhyming. another thing would be try to be more subtle, hide the meanings by adding more layers, that way you'll reach access a wider range of emotions, imagery.

good attempt though :), I disn't want to sound too negative but apparently failed =_= sorry, it's just that you can put words together, you do have a knack, just a little tweaking needed

~all the best.

[Tony]

The bones of ur poem are in excellent health, practice writting more and the flesh will follow

[Sarahd]

Very nice poem poem sister, you are a good writer!

[alcurad]

The bones of ur poem are in excellent health, practice writing more and the flesh will follow

you know I was thinking of that exaxt analogy just now :)

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i really like your message

its deep !



i just wish i knew the flow you had in your mind - every poet has his own reading right :)

[Pen Marks]

Masha'Alllah!!!

Minor correction: 3rd line, you said "the say", I believe you meant "they say"

yeh, I will fix it, thanks

try to avoid too much rhyme, I know that sounds counter intuitive, but you can only express so much hen constrained with rhyming. another thing would be try to be more subtle, hide the meanings by adding more layers, that way you'll reach access a wider range of emotions, imagery.

good attempt though :), I disn't want to sound too negative but apparently failed =_= sorry, it's just that you can put words together, you do have a knack, just a little tweaking needed

~all the best.

lesser rhyme? I think i focused on the rhyming part a little too much in this poem :hmm:

Jazakallah khair it wasn't negative, and I'll keep your suggestions in mind

The bones of ur poem are in excellent health, practice writting more and the flesh will follow

Lol :hiding: So how do I make it more fleshy?

Barakallah feekum for all the comments

[Tony]

^^^^ practice:D

[alcurad]

^a lot ^.

[Pen Marks]

Today I start a new page and my life begins
I am your servant, your slave
I engrave in my heart your beautiful name
And this month starts now with blessings from you
Nourish our souls and hep us stay true
As we look back at a year of sins
And at the life that we've spent
We ask you ya Allah to heal our every dent
We stand long hours into the night
Striving to get closer to that blinding light
To live another eleven months in full control
And we ask you again to nourish our soul

Is that any better? I don't think i can write a poem without any rhyme, alcurad :embarrass

[Tony]

Yes it is a good poem sister^^^

[alcurad]

ah, I was simply offering a suggestion :)

[Muhaba]

I like rhyming poems better than nonrhyming ones. Lovely poem!

[al Amaanah]

:salamext:

masha Allah nice poems, keep the good work up.

:w:

[Pen Marks]

Ya Abati - By Me

I remember when you held me high
And smiled when I would talk
And the sun smiled and so did the sky
And your hand held mine as we went out for our walk

You’re amazing
I’m in awe of all you’ve done
For you I’ll do anything
Father, my heart you have won

And as I walk by your side
They say, that’s his little girl
And my heart bursts in pride
Because I’m your little pearl

And Ya Abi Ya Abati
You taught me many things full of value
And Ya Abi Ya Abati
I know I’m in great debt to you

http://pen-marks.com/

[Snowflake]

Sweet and from the heart. MashaAllah :)

[Pen Marks]

Thanks :D

[al Amaanah]

:cry: jazaaki Allaho khair.

:w:

[Ansariyah]

So sweet *sniff*
May ALlah grant ur father & mine Jannah ameen.

[Na7lah]

Ameen ^
Its a really nice poem lil sis :shade:

[Pen Marks]

Arigato Oneesan :D

[Pen Marks]

I stand in my row
And wait for his go
And I go
And we go
We stand and we fall
and we all hear that call
but only some of us listen
only some of us hear

and we sit and we talk
of past sins and deeds
of places of people
of things we once knew
no more

And we hope and we pray
that this is the way
and kill the little voices in our heads
who say
that the path is hard and long
that the path is weak and wrong
that the path is weary and unsafe
that the path is old and unpaved
so we plug our ears
and we refuse to hear
that inner voice,
so loud and clear
and we say no
no

[cat eyes]

the first poem in the thread made me :'(

[Tony]

Nice poem sister, really like it