confused about helping boyfriend back in UK

[sweetgujjigal]

salaams all
RELATING TO THIS PREVIOUS ARTICLE BELOW, I ONCE AGAIN ASK FOR YOUR HELP READ ON AND MY NEW POSET WILL START AFTER SALAAMS....

i really need help regarding this so if any1 can give me advice i will appreciate that.
i am in a situation where i am struggling to make a 100% decision about me and my boyfriend. i am 21 and he has just turned 24 in april.
i have been with him for a year, he is a really nyc person and down to earth,he told me earlier that his family live in uk, but this april he got caught by immigration because he has overstayed, and since then he told me that his family are backhome and didnt tell me that because he didnt wana lose me. He has been in detention centres from manchester to cambridgeshire and now at heathrow airport, i really want us to be together.

in court he told them about me and they wanted proof that me and him are real, but i was too scared at that point and didn't know what to do, they said he has 5/4 weeks left before they send him bak to bangladesh, i still have the option of getting married to him but he has to ask his legal advsor about that, but i would like to marry him in the future, i am scared to lose him, i have been doing istikhara last month and i didnt get any feelings, and i have been doin it again and have done it 6times from today and inshallah today will be the 7th day, but still i am confused and not really clear.

Also i don't want to tell my parents because they have the issue of getting married to a different race and culture to our own and i am gujarati,my sis wanted to marry a pakistani last year but my parents said no to this and strongly agreed she marrys in the same culture and race, and my parents tawk about their parents repsect but i dont see how marrying into a different culture and race would make a difference. i've seen people marry in different race and they're happy or not its like every married couple. i have acousin who has married to a pakistani boy even though her dad did not agree that time but they're ok with it now.
i want us to be together in future,ever since he been in detention centre he has been readin namaaz daily where as before it was mainly jumah and i feel everyday stronger that i want to be with him but confused at same time to what steps to take

can someone please give me some advice pleaseeee
thank you
salams


SALAM EVERYONE
i would like2 ask for help again,ever since my boyfriend has been deported back2 bangladesh,hes been asking when i am gna kum2 c him in bangladesh which at the same time we would sort sumfin out on paperwork so he can kum bak 2 the UK within few moths with the help of his frends also,i am 2 minded about this i want2 c him because i miss him, and sometimes get upset thinkin about him,i think back 2 the past tyms and the times he has lied to me and i keep thinkin he may keep lying to me again and again about little things, i get confused about helping him kum bak to the uk, i sometimes sit and wonder wat if i do get him over and this could mayb b a mistake,he says wen he kums bak he wil get a job n later call his parents n brother slowly and few years after then he will propose to my family withhe help of his family also,but i find it all too much,i sometimes dont think of him too much and i feel peace and quiet and as soon as he mentions about me goin2 c him its like i tremble inside and don't know what to say, i don't wana give false hopes and can't promise either2 c him, i only knew him for1 year,i have been keeping intouch by msn and txt,calling him,he also seemd frustrated and angry once and i asked him wats wrong, and he said his dad keeps asking when he's going back 2 the uk, as they dont know he has been deported. i sometimes feel its a bit like emotional blackmail as he does try and make me see the times he is upset, i do miss him alot but jus dont kno wat to do apart from ask for help in my duas, wat if i do get him over and nothing goes the way we want?i don't know
can anyone help me out with advice:( i feel torn apart and need someone2make me think straight about this
jazakhallahkhair x

[cat eyes]

sis i am a little confused, his family is living in u.k? but he cannot live in u.k? has he not got a british passport?

[zakirs]

Sis,

Your problem looks like a complex problem.If he is not giving you the respect and if he is troubling you in any minor sense then i think its not worth it.And does he have the financial stabilty etc to support you ? Did he do a job before ? you need to look at all these things.

Any way all the best with your life sis and may allah protect you and guide you.

:sl:

[cat eyes]

my advice to you is don't rush into anything. it might seem like hes really into you but at the same time he might only want to use you to get back into the united kingdom as he sounds to much desperate and a person will do anything when he's desperate! sister what is his deen like? dose he practise? fast? has he got a job? what is his behaviour like with you? you said that he lied. lying to his future wife is not good at all! it proves that he can't be trusted! especially if he is asking you to help him. its good you came on this forum btw.. just do istikharah and wait and see. Allah will help you inshallaah. i would not contact him for while. do not let him play with your emotions..and take advantage of you if you do not get any anser from the istikharah then keep on doing it as much as you can! be patient and just reduce the contact! trust on Allah! its better that you should just seek Allah's help. don't rush into anything.

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[IbnAbdulHakim]

his an idiot for mixing with you before marriage - i would never want such a man for my own sister - especially illegal guys as they are reputed to be shady in that manner (believe me i know many)


assalamu alaikum

[Najm]

his an idiot for mixing with you before marriage - i would never want such a man for my own sister - especially illegal guys as they are reputed to be shady in that manner (believe me i know many)


assalamu alaikum

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Yes generally they are shady. But they act kool, until the passport becomes red!

FiAmaaniAllah

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
honesty: repent. let him go, move on. why does he need you to get to the UK hmm :exhausted as you said, he seems to be using your feelings for him against you. he got himself into this mess, why cant he get himself out. you need to be strong before you get hurt.

[touba]

Assalamou alaikoum sister,

First before all having a boyfriend is haram in the islam , He should be a fiance or husband but not a boyfriend .

Second if you want to bring him back to the united kingdom is easy you can marry him and after marriage he can back to his origin country and apply for a spouse visa and he can granted it if you have a job and good salary and pay slips and accomodation in your name and with his bad status as overstayer it will be difficult to obtain it and the best way is to forget about him and repent to Allah Subhanahou wa taala and look for a good muslim husband who can look after you.

Allah Subhanahou wa taala with you and with us sister hamdollah

[Salahudeen]

his an idiot for mixing with you before marriage - i would never want such a man for my own sister - especially illegal guys as they are reputed to be shady in that manner (believe me i know many)


assalamu alaikum

My thoughts exactly, haraam relationship=bad,

your making isikhara but have you both repented from this sin of having a haraam relationship of being boyfriend and girlfriend??

[Santoku]

Can't give you an Islamic answer, but, from a practical perspective he has deceived you, he is an illegal immigrant and you sound like a nice girl with good prospects and a british passport, cheese for a mouse.

I could go on, but to sum it up say goodbye and mean it. He is bad news

[sweetgujjigal]

jazakhallah everyone who has taken their time to reply, all your answers are making sense.
no sis his family is in bangladesh,i don't know why my feelings for him are strong only when i miss him, even though sometimes i think he is the one for me.other than that i start thinking negative about him,and i think i can have someone better,its all in allah (s.w.t) hands. i don't know how to end things with him.
When he got caught and was in detention centre in april he asked his frends for help and then asked me,and he was asking me to write a statement and that would help him stay, he would keep saying i dont have anything or anyone to stay for just u,if i didnt have u i would go back,i still had doubts this time. i turned to my friends and they said he got himself in the mess let him get out of it.
i think about my family and i start to think i dont want2 get in a big mess i have in the past and don't want ot keep running after someone by rushing into things. i have repented alot in my duas everyday, i don't think he has been doing.
i sometimes think its for the red passport, i metioned it once and he wasnt talking properly and got angry saying how can you say that. i don't know y sometimes i feel pressured with him wen he asks for something. like when he asks when am i coming to see him. and he says i got nothing to do here,i asked him why u havn't been txting for few days,i got no credit and said i can't keep asking money off my dad,that day he looked upset as he had the webcam on,and it seemd to me he wanted2 show how upset he was,as soon as i said inshallah i will come down after ramzan he was ok,he keeps askin when are you going to sort your ticket out, you need to book early.
he did have a job when he was in the uk, he worked in a restaurant.
i have thought how will he financially support me or will it be the other way round?he has told me he will get his friends to help but then again we will eventually be paying his friends one day and the bills etc etc and it seems too much in financial problem.
i just keep asking allah to show me a sign in my duas, and i will do istikhara namaaz again.

[sweetgujjigal]

i dont know why is stil think about him and miss him,yet again sometimes i think is he missin me more than me? how shud i end this jus block him from evrything and stop contact? i was thinkin to stop contact so i dont get deeper into this, i always seem to be running after someone:(

[Salahudeen]

YES!! do not go by yourself, the reason you think he's the 1 is cos there's no 1 else.

When your older and you have a nice hubby who you found and married in a halal way inshallah you'll look back and think

"what was the big deal, why was I so caught up on that guy"

Also I'm sorry to hear that your parents insist you have to marry another gujji guy this isn't right. Make dua and present them the evidence from Islam that shows it isn't allowed to prevent your daughter from marrying someone because of their race or ethnicity.

[Salahudeen]

Run after Allah and develop your relationship with him, I used to run after people till I realised people don't bring you happyness. Only when you obey your creator and worship him then you find true happyness.

Many people this is like the issue at the centre of their life "have to find some 1" to the point where their happyness depends on it, they start to become upset because they haven't found some 1.

but just focus on the religion and the hereafter and that will bring you happyness and you'll find some 1 too.

as the hadith goes "whoever makes his concern the dunya then he's constantly chasing after it and never satisfied and content"

"whoever makes his concern the afterlife then Allah suffices him in all his needs in this life and the afterlife"

[sweetgujjigal]

my sis tried that with parents it didnt work,but hers was a different story,we dont know the guys family at all,only what she's been hearing and if my sis did marry the guy we don't think she would be financially supported by him and the family.

[sweetgujjigal]

yes brother i have been reading more into islam as i didn't much before,even though i listen to taalims and talks i know what is right and wrong, i know i was in the wrong when i was with him, but still i don't know why i carried on, and i do find peace within myself when i pray or read books on islam

[sweetgujjigal]

my sister tried that with parents but hers is a different story,we dont know the family

[touba]

i dont know why is stil think about him and miss him,yet again sometimes i think is he missin me more than me? how shud i end this jus block him from evrything and stop contact? i was thinkin to stop contact so i dont get deeper into this, i always seem to be running after someone:(

Sister you will inshallah forget him easily with time and when you will meet your real muslim man this boy will be a joke for you .

[- IqRa -]

i dont know why is stil think about him and miss him,yet again sometimes i think is he missin me more than me? how shud i end this jus block him from evrything and stop contact? i was thinkin to stop contact so i dont get deeper into this, i always seem to be running after someone:(

Doesn't that tell you something about yourself? You NEED to change. You NEED to stop with the boyfriend business.

Its Ramadan. Read Qur'aan, get your Imaan higher than it ever had been before. Pray extra nawafil which will bring you closer to your Lord.

Repent from this boyfriend business,,

May Allaah forgive us and guide us all this Ramadhan, Ameen.

[touba]

Doesn't that tell you something about yourself? You NEED to change. You NEED to stop with the boyfriend business.

Its Ramadan. Read Qur'aan, get your Imaan higher than it ever had been before. Pray extra nawafil which will bring you closer to your Lord.

Repent from this boyfriend business,,

May Allaah forgive us and guide us all this Ramadhan, Ameen.

Ameen ya rabba alameen

[sweetgujjigal]

i didn't mean run after guys, i mean run after ppl, friends etc keeping in touch with them and they sometimes get back to you, i didn't mean after guys

[~*~Serene~*~]

Why is this a hard decision?

1. You are not sure if he is using you so he can stay in the UK by marrying you?

2. You already know that haviing boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is wrong?

3.Your parents will not support the marriage?

4. The guy as no job ? He has no money ? He even asking you to spend money to visit him? You think you might become the provider if the relationship continues?

ETC

ETC



:hmm:

[Snowflake]

and few years after then he will propose to my family withhe help of his family also

Oh sis... he is taking you for a fool. He just want to keep you believing he will marry you when everything is ok. It's the kind of excuse married men give their mistresses.. ' I will leave the wife when the kids are older blah blah' No sis, don't fall for it. No man who has self-respect and respects women would expect her to travel to see him - before marriage! Please stop being sweet in his case, because you sound so sweet and innocent. This man is taking advantage of you. Get rid of him.

,i don't know why my feelings for him are strong only when i miss him, even though sometimes i think he is the one for me.other than that i start thinking negative about him,

The shaytaan loves you being in a haram relationship so he makes you miss him. But your heart is true and thats why you feel negative about him and also more at peace when you don't hear from him. He sounds like trouble.

[Humbler_359]

salaams all
RELATING TO THIS PREVIOUS ARTICLE BELOW, I ONCE AGAIN ASK FOR YOUR HELP READ ON AND MY NEW POSET WILL START AFTER SALAAMS....

i really need help regarding this so if any1 can give me advice i will appreciate that.
i am in a situation where i am struggling to make a 100% decision about me and my boyfriend. i am 21 and he has just turned 24 in april.
i have been with him for a year, he is a really nyc person and down to earth,he told me earlier that his family live in uk, but this april he got caught by immigration because he has overstayed, and since then he told me that his family are backhome and didnt tell me that because he didnt wana lose me. He has been in detention centres from manchester to cambridgeshire and now at heathrow airport, i really want us to be together.

in court he told them about me and they wanted proof that me and him are real, but i was too scared at that point and didn't know what to do, they said he has 5/4 weeks left before they send him bak to bangladesh, i still have the option of getting married to him but he has to ask his legal advsor about that, but i would like to marry him in the future, i am scared to lose him, i have been doing istikhara last month and i didnt get any feelings, and i have been doin it again and have done it 6times from today and inshallah today will be the 7th day, but still i am confused and not really clear.

Also i don't want to tell my parents because they have the issue of getting married to a different race and culture to our own and i am gujarati,my sis wanted to marry a pakistani last year but my parents said no to this and strongly agreed she marrys in the same culture and race, and my parents tawk about their parents repsect but i dont see how marrying into a different culture and race would make a difference. i've seen people marry in different race and they're happy or not its like every married couple. i have acousin who has married to a pakistani boy even though her dad did not agree that time but they're ok with it now.
i want us to be together in future,ever since he been in detention centre he has been readin namaaz daily where as before it was mainly jumah and i feel everyday stronger that i want to be with him but confused at same time to what steps to take

can someone please give me some advice pleaseeee
thank you
salams


SALAM EVERYONE
i would like2 ask for help again,ever since my boyfriend has been deported back2 bangladesh,hes been asking when i am gna kum2 c him in bangladesh which at the same time we would sort sumfin out on paperwork so he can kum bak 2 the UK within few moths with the help of his frends also,i am 2 minded about this i want2 c him because i miss him, and sometimes get upset thinkin about him,i think back 2 the past tyms and the times he has lied to me and i keep thinkin he may keep lying to me again and again about little things, i get confused about helping him kum bak to the uk, i sometimes sit and wonder wat if i do get him over and this could mayb b a mistake,he says wen he kums bak he wil get a job n later call his parents n brother slowly and few years after then he will propose to my family withhe help of his family also,but i find it all too much,i sometimes dont think of him too much and i feel peace and quiet and as soon as he mentions about me goin2 c him its like i tremble inside and don't know what to say, i don't wana give false hopes and can't promise either2 c him, i only knew him for1 year,i have been keeping intouch by msn and txt,calling him,he also seemd frustrated and angry once and i asked him wats wrong, and he said his dad keeps asking when he's going back 2 the uk, as they dont know he has been deported. i sometimes feel its a bit like emotional blackmail as he does try and make me see the times he is upset, i do miss him alot but jus dont kno wat to do apart from ask for help in my duas, wat if i do get him over and nothing goes the way we want?i don't know
can anyone help me out with advice:( i feel torn apart and need someone2make me think straight about this
jazakhallahkhair x

:sl: sister,

I could understand how people behave and talk, when I see your explanation. I could sense it that he is NOT right guy period. I don't want you to feel REGRET after you maybe married to him. Then you will feel realize that you made mistake and trap with him in many issues that will upset your whole family matters. I am telling you that future husband is better taking care of you than this nyc guy. Be strong and Be secure yourself for your best future Alhumdulillah.

Take my words. Don't rush anything, don't make mistake, and don't feel regret later. You have alot of ahead of your life. Hope you agreed.

:alright:

[zakirs]

:sl: sis

. No man who has self-respect and respects women would expect her to travel to see him - before marriage!

Completely agree with this.Sis i guess you need to rethink about that guy.

The shaytaan loves you being in a haram relationship so he makes you miss him

May allah save us all from the temptations of satan.Ameen

[touba]

:sl: sis


Completely agree with this.Sis i guess you need to rethink about that guy.



May allah save us all from the temptations of satan.Ameen

Ameen ya rabba alameen inshallah

[sweetgujjigal]

i am definetly goin to say something to him2day as i know his facebook account passoword and i just went on to check and oh my god! he has been betraying me:'(
asking other girls to get to know him:@ i am going to delete everything of him!
i did istikhara namaaz last nyt after taraweeh namaaz and then i went to slp, i was drreaming and it was unusual,i went to see him and there was a glass wall in between us, and he seemed angry that he cudn't come to my side, it was slightly weird my mum was there and she just was looking at us kind of cross and was saying something like we don't want him in the family and i cannot remember the rest...o well i know what i will do now, i have been repenting continuously for the sins in the past i hope allah SWT forgives me inshallah :( jazakhallah everyone who has helped me through this fake emotional rollercoaster relationship which would have never gone anywhere, jazakhallah for giving me the sense to maka a stop to all this i can't thank you all enough for this jazakhallah xxxx:):D

[Muhaba]

Lots of times when the men get the passport, they leave their wife, even if they have children. If that happens to you, you will have a big problem. Do you want to be divorced with children? This is something you need to think of well.

After doing istikhaara, if you still want to be with him, tell your parents. Let him talk to your parents and let them decide whether he is right for you or not. You don't have to tell them that you were in a relationship with him, just that you met him and he was deported, etc.

No matter what your parents decide, stop direct contact with him as that will only increase your feelings for him. You want to get married in a halal way and not be used and then left.

May Allah solve your problems and give you the best.

[- IqRa -]

and i just went on to check and oh my god! he has been betraying me

...

Oh sis... he is taking you for a fool. He just want to keep you believing he will marry you when everything is ok.

[Snowflake]

Hamdulillah, Allah saved you sis. Come closer to Allah instead. He will never let you down. There is no one you can rely on, like you can on Allah. Make Allah your everything. :cry:

[penartist]

salaam

wow! after reading your account i have nothing much to say apart from this:

Right now your in the the situation and therefore can not see clearly enough to make your decision. Ask yourself this, had it been a friend of yours in the same situation what would u advice her??

Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow and if u are emotionally attached then it will be more so. U want to believe that he will come over and marry u but if u REALLY believed all that then why would u seek the advice of others? Obviously there is some doubt in your mind about this guy and i find that instinct is the best lie detector device that we have within us...use it, follow it, if it flashes warning signs then treat it as a danger zone.

Avoid going abroad at any cost and limit contact with him until there is non. Your young yet, dont tangle yourself up in situations that are unneccessary and Inshallah if u are meant to be together then one day u will be but til that day sit tight and avoid him.

May Allah SWT guide us all on the right path. Ameen
Peace

[sweetgujjigal]

jazakhallah all for your replies, i will pray for you all in my duas inshallah x:)

[Thinker]

SALAM EVERYONE
i would like2 ask for help again,ever since my boyfriend has been deported back2 bangladesh,hes been asking when i am gna kum2 c him in bangladesh

You need to ask yourself - does this guy want you or does he want to use you to get him into the UK and a British Passport?

Before going to Bangladesh read this . . .

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle5340058.ece

[cat eyes]

i am definetly goin to say something to him2day as i know his facebook account passoword and i just went on to check and oh my god! he has been betraying me:'(
asking other girls to get to know him:@ i am going to delete everything of him!
i did istikhara namaaz last nyt after taraweeh namaaz and then i went to slp, i was drreaming and it was unusual,i went to see him and there was a glass wall in between us, and he seemed angry that he cudn't come to my side, it was slightly weird my mum was there and she just was looking at us kind of cross and was saying something like we don't want him in the family and i cannot remember the rest...o well i know what i will do now, i have been repenting continuously for the sins in the past i hope allah SWT forgives me inshallah :( jazakhallah everyone who has helped me through this fake emotional rollercoaster relationship which would have never gone anywhere, jazakhallah for giving me the sense to maka a stop to all this i can't thank you all enough for this jazakhallah xxxx:):D

Alhamdulilah sis Allah helped you there. you were wanting clear anser and you got it. it proves he never loved you because if he loved you and you were his only girl and thought of you as a future wife, he would not be checking out other girls on facebook thats for sure. you seem like a really sweet girl and innocent and he took advantage of you.

i believe he was definatley trying to use you to get back into the country there is no doubt about it. now he will look for his other victim who knows mabe on facebook. don't worry you are only young, right now you feel like he's the only guy and it will be like that for a while inshallaah you will get over him quick. sister i stoped chasing after people also because i never got anything back from them and even got hurt sometimes and now in Allah i only put my trust and i feel a whole lot happier and at peace

[sweetgujjigal]

i feel down sis

[sweetgujjigal]

m chatting with him at the moment onmsn and he said straight away that he is running a project with his friends which is a party, and they need as many people for that,i'm believing that,but still dont knw wat to do:( y am i a little confused now?

[sweetgujjigal]

am i over exaggerating?i don't know

[sweetgujjigal]

he told me about his past girls etc mayb i am over exagerating?

[mathematician]

Ok this is common among young people...........not knowing what they want.

What it is that you WANT? I don't think you know that yet. You see women
generally get much more emotionaly involved in a relationship than men and that can make you very confused. You probably got to a stage where you wanted this guy really bad and now you feel you are missing out on something big.

I will not say the guy is bad, because if you are following such a bad guy then to be honest there isn't much of a difference is it? Why would you even take a chance with someone like him? Yeah you got too emotionally involved, but that's the price one pays for getting into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

The decision is yours to make. I think the brothers and sisters did a great job to wake you up. But if even after that you still have doubts, then there is nothing more anyone can say.

[sweetgujjigal]

he keeps his rozas and reads tarabee namaz, i do want to be with him, but little things make me confused,wen he was in the uk he did tell me about his past and so did i, but i've been thinking more of his past n bringing that forward even though it didnt matter to me that time as people do make mistakes and i've made mistakes in the past too, i knew he was honest about his past,i dn't know if i am over exagerating now,he sed him,his brother and friends have been sponsored for this party n they need 1000 people,so he said hes been adding people and same with his bro and friends

[limitless]

he keeps his rozas and reads tarabee namaz, i do want to be with him, but little things make me confused,wen he was in the uk he did tell me about his past and so did i, but i've been thinking more of his past n bringing that forward even though it didnt matter to me that time as people do make mistakes and i've made mistakes in the past too, i knew he was honest about his past,i dn't know if i am over exagerating now,he sed him,his brother and friends have been sponsored for this party n they need 1000 people,so he said hes been adding people and same with his bro and friends

:sl:

Sis, you need to stop talking with him. The only reason you want to to be with him is simply because you've been with him for one year and are in constant talk with him. This is attachment. And Shai'taan is getting the best of you. Your heart feels guilty and regretful, yet you are still wanting to purse a marriage with him despite what he does. You said he lied to you before, he could be lying about this recruiting part.

I've read most replies and how you have been. You need to like other users said, get closer to Allah swt. Recite Qur'an, or Surah Yaseen. Pray more, and stop contacting him, close any form of communication with him. It is not good for you sis. You're torturing yourself. You are just emotionally attached to him, and how you let feelings get to you. This is why having a boyfriend - one of the few reasons - is haraam.

Can you comprehend the stress this will have on your mother? Don't get involved with this guy, he is no good for you. He is using you for that red passport. It happens, its common. You have a very good heart, good intention , use this month to make yourself closer to Allah swt. In time, you will be over him, insha'Allah. Don't give up and have faith in Allah swt, you'll get through it. It's tough, you will be hurt, feeling lonely, you will want to contact him, miss him a lot, beyond it. But you gotta resist to it, say no, just recite any surah you know or open Qur'an and read it. Do something to take your mind off him, anything *halal of course*.

If you do purse marrying this guy, you will ,as you said have financial problems, you will have a bad relationship with your family, especially the parents. He might find some other girl and marry her and leave you or not. His deen is weak, he is too materialistic, that is not how a muslim should be.

Please for your own sake, don't do anything with him. Cease all your communication with him at once. And resist to the temptation that shai'taan brings to you, that you need him, you love him, this is all lust and greed to him. Real love isn't selfish, its selfless, you put the other person first, you care for their safety and health. Someone once told me that and it makes sense.

The first step of accomplishing in your case is, stop talking. Its hard, its torment for you, but you have to do it. And pray to Allah swt, do islamic activities, recite surah, as i said before and Qur'an. You will be rewarded tremendously for reciting Qur'an in this beautiful month.

And Do not visit him at all! Do not. This is FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. Don't even think about it. He is not trustworthy guy, how can he ask a muslim woman to travel all the way to Bangaldesh, this is not safe for you, your digging your own grave. Please don't do it. You will find a loving and caring husband insha'Allah just make dua and repent for the sins in this month :). Just give yourself time to get over him.

I hope everything goes well for you sister, insha'Allah.

:wa:

[cat eyes]

sis i don't know what to say just be strong. shaytaan is pulling you in more deep... i guarantee you that you will get nothing from a haraam relationship. Allah swt will go far from you and shaytaan will get close and one day you will wake up feeling so much shame and asking yourself how did i let it get this far! i doubt he is a practising muslim..

think thats how hes sweetning you up that he prays etc and dose everything cos he knows thats what every girl wants to hear at the end of the day. illegals don't care about there religion ive seen it with my own eyes, they do so much haraam things, they have no care in the world! i even heard of one illegal he is a big con man and hes taking money from people left right and centre but its a long story i won't go in to it how hes doing it but they are clever im telling you. i wouldn't believe what hes telling you

sis i don't know if this guy is for real or not but i am just saying its better not to take the risk considering these people have bad reputations and bad past thats why they are the way they are so i would not take this risk thats all.

shatian wants to confuse you now thats what you are feeling. its shatian

[sweetgujjigal]

how do i stop tawking?i don't know how to,he will still send messages on facebook am not sure if you can block people from facebook. he will ask his 2 friends to ring me, i dont know yesterday when he said that to me about a party i was still angry about it at the fact he askin girls to get to know him, to this he replied i have to get to know them or else how are they going to come to the party, but i still felt he shudnt ov dun it this way, when i got off msn last nyt, i was feeling quite relieved and clear minded, and he kept coming to mind again and again even though i tried hard not to think about him. i come on msn today and he was on,hes askin why i dont talk,why i am still being like this with him and i did not tawk properly back either i just said i got to go now and logged out.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
sis we can advise and advise till the cows come home, but it is essential to realize that it wont benefit you until and unless YOU are ready to change. so make your utmost effort :thumbs_up

be strong and remember it is for your own good :)

besides, i thought Bengali's only marry bengalis anyways? so even if everything was smooth sailing, would it really make a difference?

[Rebel]

i am going to delete everything of him!

Well, what are you waiting for?

I don't mean to sound rude but it looks like you're not willing to do anything to get yourself out of this mess. And your last post proves it.

Besides, why are you shocked that he's getting to know other girls? Weren't you one of those girls once upon a time? You didn't seriously expect him to stay true to you?

[sweetgujjigal]

i have deleted and blocked him from from msn and facebook, mmmm taking a deep sigh of relief

[- IqRa -]

Make sure you stick to it inshaAllaah...

[Alphadude]

i think im going mad or your your saying he is you boyfriend and ur not married ? right and yet u pray and ask allah to make u togheter what da hell and u have ben 2gether for years common are u fooling ur self or making fun of islam or us one side u pray the next u commite the biggest sin.

can some 1 tell me if im wrong or this is wrong

[- IqRa -]

^ No you understood right.

[sweetgujjigal]

sis i don't know what to say just be strong. shaytaan is pulling you in more deep... i guarantee you that you will get nothing from a haraam relationship. Allah swt will go far from you and shaytaan will get close and one day you will wake up feeling so much shame and asking yourself how did i let it get this far! i doubt he is a practising muslim..

think thats how hes sweetning you up that he prays etc and dose everything cos he knows thats what every girl wants to hear at the end of the day. illegals don't care about there religion ive seen it with my own eyes, they do so much haraam things, they have no care in the world! i even heard of one illegal he is a big con man and hes taking money from people left right and centre but its a long story i won't go in to it how hes doing it but they are clever im telling you. i wouldn't believe what hes telling you

sis i don't know if this guy is for real or not but i am just saying its better not to take the risk considering these people have bad reputations and bad past thats why they are the way they are so i would not take this risk thats all.

shatian wants to confuse you now thats what you are feeling. its shatian

can u explain more here sis

[cat eyes]

salaam sis whats the story now. have you spoken to him?

what exactly did he ask those girls on facebook?

sister he is not a good example for you and i believe asking girls to go to his party says alot about him don't you think?

its better you should break it off now forever.. its hard to let go i know but i don't want you to get your heart broke and he has lied to you before.

don't take the chance. find a proper practising muslim who dose things the right way sister and inshallaah you will find peace in your heart

[Alphadude]

^ No you understood right.

thank bro T.I.A

why is every 1 helping this sister ? i mean she asked if she could trust or could be togheter with his boyfriend and all of u giving her advice instead of tellin her that we cant tell u what to do with your boyfreind isnt this haraam its crazy just tell her to stop seeying him unless they are married i think the advice every 1 is giving is more sin then she is comiting.

[mathematician]

thank bro T.I.A

why is every 1 helping this sister ? i mean she asked if she could trust or could be togheter with his boyfriend and all of u giving her advice instead of tellin her that we cant tell u what to do with your boyfreind isnt this haraam its crazy just tell her to stop seeying him unless they are married i think the advice every 1 is giving is more sin then she is comiting.

Well here is the thing. It is not recommended to play the "I am holier than thou" game when it comes to advicing somebody. Allah ta'ala warned us that other people may be better than us so we have to be humble. Yes, she is asking about boyfriend, but it's not really up to us to judge her. Let Allah ta'ala do it. Here we can try to get her to come to her senses and then maybe insha'Allah she will do the right thing.

Personally, when it comes to advicing someone I think it's immature to throw in their face the "haraam" word. We should try to help and not bully a brother or sister.

[sweetgujjigal]

jazakhallah for that mathematician!:D
why are people helping me???
brother khalid i only came on here for advice,i don't understand why you are being harsh,reading your reply didn't make me feel any better:'(

-should't muslim brothers and sisters help each other out?
-isn't that what ALLAH(swt)wants us all to do? to follow the right path?
-if no1 helped me out on this forum, what would i be doing right now? being blind in the things i do, carrying on carelessly??

yes i know i have sinned,i have repented,asked for all the borthers and sisters help aswel ALLAH(swt)'s help!

-if you see someone or even hear of someone who needs help would u just ignore them for their actions etc or would you be kind hearted and give them your helping hand???
and if you read the threads properly i am not seeing him for quite a time u are wrong here

[sweetgujjigal]

i am deeply offended by u brother khalid

[Caller الداعي]

salams having pre martial relations is haram in islam it leads to bad consquences! sis if u r really searchin for the truth in an islamic point of view then u woudnt lead this realtionship otherwise coming into an islamic fourm and asking for help in something haram is totally out of order and those who help u will have to answer to Allah :
Allah says : help each other in good deeds and taqwa and dont hekp each other in sin and enmity!

[Rasema]

Assalamu Alikum

Why are woman so so .....

Someone has to be there to always protect them...

Sisi, ditch this guy and be harsh with him. Change your self from being sweet and kind into being harsh to guys. That way they realise that you're strong in your faith and serious.

[sweetgujjigal]

salaam sis whats the story now. have you spoken to him?

what exactly did he ask those girls on facebook?

sister he is not a good example for you and i believe asking girls to go to his party says alot about him don't you think?

its better you should break it off now forever.. its hard to let go i know but i don't want you to get your heart broke and he has lied to you before.

don't take the chance. find a proper practising muslim who dose things the right way sister and inshallaah you will find peace in your heart

sis i spent over half an hour writing u a message,and then i was logged off and the message was lost as i am not a full member cant send u private messages

[Alphadude]

jazakhallah for that mathematician!:D
why are people helping me???
brother khalid i only came on here for advice,i don't understand why you are being harsh,reading your reply didn't make me feel any better:'(

-should't muslim brothers and sisters help each other out?
-isn't that what ALLAH(swt)wants us all to do? to follow the right path?
-if no1 helped me out on this forum, what would i be doing right now? being blind in the things i do, carrying on carelessly??

yes i know i have sinned,i have repented,asked for all the borthers and sisters help aswel ALLAH(swt)'s help!

-if you see someone or even hear of someone who needs help would u just ignore them for their actions etc or would you be kind hearted and give them your helping hand???
and if you read the threads properly i am not seeing him for quite a time u are wrong here

sister im not being harsh im just telling the truth and what is right and not roght u came here here asking from us to help u and we will we didnt say we wont but we cant give u advice on a haram relationship.

i am deeply offended by u brother khalid

im sorry if i offended u sister but im doing whats right dont be offended

Well here is the thing. It is not recommended to play the "I am holier than thou" game when it comes to advicing somebody. Allah ta'ala warned us that other people may be better than us so we have to be humble. Yes, she is asking about boyfriend, but it's not really up to us to judge her. Let Allah ta'ala do it. Here we can try to get her to come to her senses and then maybe insha'Allah she will do the right thing.

Personally, when it comes to advicing someone I think it's immature to throw in their face the "haraam" word. We should try to help and not bully a brother or sister.

yes it not upto us to judge and we cant giv the advice on this matter can we?

salams having pre martial relations is haram in islam it leads to bad consquences! sis if u r really searchin for the truth in an islamic point of view then u woudnt lead this realtionship otherwise coming into an islamic fourm and asking for help in something haram is totally out of order and those who help u will have to answer to Allah :
Allah says : help each other in good deeds and taqwa and dont hekp each other in sin and enmity!

thank you brother caller right to the point thats what i mean not to offend the sister in anyway

[cat eyes]

sis i spent over half an hour writing u a message,and then i was logged off and the message was lost as i am not a full member cant send u private messages

poor sis:giggling: sorry that you got logged off..

yeah you have to send 50posts i think to be full member.

how are you? mabe we could exchange email and i can guide you further inshallaah. i hope your okay.

the others are only trying to help also sis. the brothers are not so sensitive to these issues as the sisters so forgive them:statisfie

[Alphadude]

poor sis:giggling: sorry that you got logged off..

yeah you have to send 50posts i think to be full member.

how are you? mabe we could exchange email and i can guide you further inshallaah. i hope your okay.

the others are only trying to help also sis. the brothers are not so sensitive to these issues as the sisters so forgive them:statisfie

lol brothers are sensitive iswell but some in this case maybe some are and some not:p

[sweetgujjigal]

tut:( i was upset, your forgiven since youve said that:)

[sweetgujjigal]

salaam true muslimmah,if you do get to read this... sorry i cannot reply back to your message leave me your email add n i will get back thanks :)