Muslim women married to non-muslim male

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I will like to know why it's not acceptable for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim when a man can marry a Christian or Jew woman.

I have herd the reason how the children of a Muslim must follow the teachings of Islam and since kids are known by the father and are likely to follow the father's religion therefore women can't marry a non-muslim man. I don't feel that is a good enough reasoning because what if the man says he will allow his children to be Muslim and the mother can teach the kids about religion. Plus today kids are known just as much by the mother as they are by the father. Also what if someone doesn't even want to have kids and some women actually can't have children as it is, so what about that?
 
caller said:
salams sister the issue is not something for us to reason its from Allah and his messenger alysalam not wheater ppl like it or not.
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I feel that everything that god has ruled upon us has reasoning. The reason i have so much love and faith for my religion is because it makes a lot of sense and offers equality as oppose to other religions out there. God tells us in the quran to get educated and get as much education as possible, also prophet Muhammad(pbuh) has said countless times how important it is to be educated and with education comes logic and reasoning which makes us think why we have to do certain things the way we do. So we can question things to come to the reasoning of why certain rules were made rather than following them blindly.
 
ieshia said:
I will like to know why it's not acceptable for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim when a man can marry a Christian or Jew woman.
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Asslamu Alakium.

First a Muslim man marrying a Christian/Jew comes with great responsibility and burden. A Christian/Jew may not hold the same respect for our Prophet and for a Muslim man convincing a non-Muslim woman that Islam is the true religion is very difficult, stressful and clashes with your daily life. Islam governs everything on how you should live and non-Muslim may fail to relate to that.

A Muslim woman should know that Allah has really honoured her and made it easy for her by not allowing her to marry a non-Muslim man. According to the Qur'an, the husband is the head of the household and his wife should obey him. Allah does not put the Muslim woman in a position that a non-Muslim becomes her head in her own private life. Allah has spared her to suffer from being under the authority of a non-Muslim husband.



I have herd the reason how the children of a Muslim must follow the teachings of Islam and since kids are known by the father and are likely to follow the father's religion therefore women can't marry a non-muslim man. I don't feel that is a good enough reasoning because what if the man says he will allow his children to be Muslim and the mother can teach the kids about religion. Plus today kids are known just as much by the mother as they are by the father.
Click to expand...


In Islam both the husband and the wife should have the responsibility of teaching Islam to their children. There will be situations where religious beliefs will clash and all you’re simply doing is confusing the child.

Also what if someone doesn't even want to have kids and some women actually can't have children as it is, so what about that?
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Doesn't matter. Like I said previously Islam governs your life with or without kids. Situations will arise where the non-Muslim man will fail to relate Islamic principles that the Muslim wife believes in.

Hope this answers the question.
 
ieshia said:
I feel that everything that god has ruled upon us has reasoning. The reason i have so much love and faith for my religion is because it makes a lot of sense and offers equality as oppose to other religions out there. God tells us in the quran to get educated and get as much education as possible, also prophet Muhammad(pbuh) has said countless times how important it is to be educated and with education comes logic and reasoning which makes us think why we have to do certain things the way we do. So we can question things to come to the reasoning of why certain rules were made rather than following them blindly.
Click to expand...

good question but Allah knows best sister. in the hadiths its stated loads of things about the difference between man and woman. the man is a on a more higher degree than the woman so through the marriage the wife has to keep her head down sometimes if her husband wants a certain thing to be followed so the family most folllow because he is the supporter and the maintainer and the man was made a little bit more intelligent also, the reason sister it would be difficult for the woman to run the family the way she wants is because she is a bundle of emotions etc and she cannot make decisions sometimes and finally in the future she might stop caring that the kids are following there dads belief and it dose happen and it is happening now the sons are mostly drawn to the father as they get older its a common fact.

i have heard of even muslim men marrying christcians and jews etc and you will find also that if you watch there kids they are following the mother. the mother never converted to islam so its happens both ways also because i know of one family but they will be held to account for it sister because its wrong. you are meant to at least try and revert them
 
where do you live? in the us, if there was a divorce the children would go to the husband because the wife is muslim.
 
Guestfellow said:
Asslamu Alakium.

First a Muslim man marrying a Christian/Jew comes with great responsibility and burden. A Christian/Jew may not hold the same respect for our Prophet and for a Muslim man convincing a non-Muslim woman that Islam is the true religion is very difficult, stressful and clashes with your daily life. Islam governs everything on how you should live and non-Muslim may fail to relate to that.
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Yes but it goes both ways in this case. A Muslim man is still allowed to marry a non-Muslim, when both a male or female will both have to face the same responsibility of marrying a non-Muslim.

Guestfellow said:
A Muslim woman should know that Allah has really honoured her and made it easy for her by not allowing her to marry a non-Muslim man. According to the Qur'an, the husband is the head of the household and his wife should obey him. Allah does not put the Muslim woman in a position that a non-Muslim becomes her head in her own private life. Allah has spared her to suffer from being under the authority of a non-Muslim husband.
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That is the choice of the woman who wants to marry whom ever. I don't know very many men who boss women around like that but actually have respect for them. There are households where the woman makes all the decisions as well. If the man willingly says that there will be no harm done to you when it comes to practicing your religion then this shouldn't be a problem. A woman can also get that in writing on the "nikha-nama"




Guestfellow said:
In Islam both the husband and the wife should have the responsibility of teaching Islam to their children. There will be situations where religious beliefs will clash and all you’re simply doing is confusing the child.
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Yes i agree completely but there can be the same clash and confusion for the child if his/her mother is not a muslim as well. Also because the man might be working outside the home more and the mother will be spending more time with the kid can cause the children to be closer to their mother and listening to her teaching more.


Guestfellow said:
Doesn't matter. Like I said previously Islam governs your life with or without kids. Situations will arise where the non-Muslim man will fail to relate Islamic principles that the Muslim wife believes in.

Hope this answers the question.
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Same can be said about a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim woman.
 
convert said:
where do you live? in the us, if there was a divorce the children would go to the husband because the wife is muslim.
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WHAT!!!
No that is not true at all. There is a law here called the separation of church and state where no laws or decisions are made because of religion. The court here always favor the mother when it comes handling the children and the father must pay child support to the mother to take care of them. I also know of cases where the christian father did not get to have the children in the end.
 
n. According to the Qur'an, the husband is the head of the household and his wife should obey him. Allah does not put the Muslim woman in a position that a non-Muslim becomes her head in her own private life.
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:sl:

the above logic looks closest to me ,..say if the husband wished that not to fast on ramadan , then she has to a) follow her husband as islam says b)she has to follow her
religion

a and b contradict each other ,

so may be .. ?

:S
 
I think this is a moot point. Muslim men are permitted to marry "People of the Book" but I do not believe that in today's world there remains very few if any true "people of the book" as described in the Qur'an.

It seems that in terms of safety and to avoid error it is best if both Muslim Men and Women only marry Muslims.
 
ieshia said:
Yes but it goes both ways in this case. A Muslim man is still allowed to marry a non-Muslim, when both a male or female will both have to face the same responsibility of marrying a non-Muslim.
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Yes however the point I was making that a women responsibilities have been reduced. Why you put yourself in a situation where you have more responsibilities to handle?

However a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim should be avoided. I don't understand why people bother putting themselves in a situation where you’re faced with greater responsibilities.

That is the choice of the woman who wants to marry whom ever.
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Keep in mind be prepared for the consequences who you choose to marry.

I don't know very many men who boss women around like that but actually have respect for them.
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How do you know what goes on behind closed doors?

There are households where the woman makes all the decisions as well.
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Indeed.

If the man willingly says that there will be no harm done to you when it comes to practicing your religion then this shouldn't be a problem. A woman can also get that in writing on the "nikha-nama"
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What a man says does not mean he will put that into practice. Your rights are limited as well if you choose to marry a non-Muslim.

Yes i agree completely but there can be the same clash and confusion for the child if his/her mother is not a muslim as well. Also because the man might be working outside the home more and the mother will be spending more time with the kid can cause the children to be closer to their mother and listening to her teaching more.
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Well you cannot always guarantee that will work...of course same applies to a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim.

As an overview just simply avoid marrying a non-Muslim. Very risky.

convert said:
where do you live? in the us, if there was a divorce the children would go to the husband because the wife is muslim.
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???
 
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:wa:

zakirs said:
:sl:

..if the husband wished that not to fast on ramadan , then she has to

a) follow her husband as islam says b)she has to follow her
religion

a and b contradict each other ,

so may be .. ?

:S
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Fasting in Ramadan is a must for all adult , healthy Muslim men and women. No one needs permission from others to fast in Ramadan.

In the case of extra/ nafal fasting , wife needs to talk to husband . If her extra salat / fasting may cause problem in marital life and husband says no , then she must not fast .

And Allah knows Best.
 
:sl:

Interesting Question.

Sis, you're obviously looking at this question from a different perspective than most of us do, including muslim women here.

As I understand so far, this is how it is you are looking at the problem:

If the man can get a job, so can I. If the man can drive a car, so can I. If the man can do this and that...etc.

You need to look at it from real Islamic perspective that Allah swt has established for men and women. This is just an human and logical way of thinking established by non believers, others would say "westerns" which is true because that is where this concept emerged from.

Anyway, two people have stated very good reasons why a muslim women cannot marry a non-muslim guy. It is said in Al Qur'an and ahadith.

You can argue all you want, say whatever you want because in the end You are not married to the non-muslim man in the eyes of Allah swt and islamically. You are basically in a haraam relationship. By human laws, you are married, but islamically you are not. You should look at this question from a different perspective sis, that's the issue I see with you.

Next, you would ask "why can't a muslim women divorce her husband?". So please try to look at it from different point of view.

Heres a similar question as to yours:

However, I do not want to commit anything that is against Islam. Why is it okay for men to marry Christian women yet Muslim women are not allowed to marry Christian men? That is what my parents have told me. I don't know what to do. Can you please give me some assistance?

Answer:

The general rule of Islam is that Muslims should marry Muslims. A Muslim male or female should not marry a non-Muslim male or female. Allah Almighty says: “ Wed not idolatresses till they believe; for lo! a believing bondwoman is better than an idolatress though she please you; and give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters till they believe, for lo! a believing slave is better than an idolater though he please you. These invite unto the Fire, and Allah inviteth unto the Garden, and unto forgiveness by His grace, and expoundeth thus His revelations to mankind that haply they may remember.” (Al-Baqarah: 221)


The only exception is given to Muslim men who are allowed to marry the girls from among the People of the Book. Allah Almighty says: “This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and live with them in honor, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter.” (Al-Ma’dah: 5)


First of all, it is not an honor or a privilege to marry a non-Muslim. It is a burden and a big responsibility. It is better to abstain from such marriages. Muslim men who are living in non-Muslim countries in particular should not marry non-Muslim women. However, man being the head of his household is more capable to handle the needs and problems of his non-Muslim (Christian or Jewish) wife. Muslims believe that Moses and Jesus, peace and blessings be upon them all, were Prophets of Allah and so they give them full honor and respect.

Jews and Christians do not consider Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, as the Prophet of Allah. Thus they are unable to give the same respect and honor to him and to his followers. A Jewish or Christian woman with a Muslim husband will be in a much better position than a Muslim woman with a Jewish or a Christian husband. Even then, there are many non-Muslim women who married outside their faith say that they wish their religion too had forbidden them, because they know how difficult and hard it is to be the wife of a husband who has a different faith.

A Muslim woman should know that Allah has really honored her and made it easy for her by not allowing her to marry a non-Muslim man.

According to the Qur'an, the husband is the head of the household and his wife should obey him. Allah does not put the Muslim woman in a position that a non-Muslim becomes her head in her own private life. Allah has spared her to suffer from being under the authority of a non-Muslim husband.

Please abandon the idea of marrying a non-Muslim, unless he truly accepts Islam. If you marry a non-Muslim, this will be a major sin. You will be living in sin and your relationship with that non-Muslim will be illegitimate in the eyes of Allah. May Allah protect you from all sins, Amen.”

Answered by Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of North America.

Source: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503543072

That should be sufficient to answer your question. Many scholars and imaams have answered this already with same response.

:wa:
 
Amongst others, one of the husband's right in Islam is to be obeyed by his wife. If a husband is therefore non muslim, he may insist his children are brought up as non-muslims. He may also insist you enjoin partners in Allah (naudhu billah) if his own belief depends on it. To cut it short as I'm in a rush, this is the tip of the iceberg and if this were allowed you can imagine the harm it would bring to the muslim society. But, there is more wisdom then we can see and is it wiser if we avoid questioning the wisdom of Allah subhana wa ta'ala so that we may do not incur sin but increase ourselves in piety.
 
ieshia said:
I will like to know why it's not acceptable for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim when a man can marry a Christian or Jew woman.

I have herd the reason how the children of a Muslim must follow the teachings of Islam and since kids are known by the father and are likely to follow the father's religion therefore women can't marry a non-muslim man. I don't feel that is a good enough reasoning because what if the man says he will allow his children to be Muslim and the mother can teach the kids about religion. Plus today kids are known just as much by the mother as they are by the father. Also what if someone doesn't even want to have kids and some women actually can't have children as it is, so what about that?
Click to expand...
It's different for every family, you definitely have a point there. There is this quote/saying: "The man may be the head but the woman is the neck" - that's the case for many families I know. The woman has a way stronger impact on the kids, their lives and beliefs. So it really is different from family to family. They do state "generally the man is the head" but for a fact, that can't be said anymore.

I believe the Muslim communities are very aware of things and it is not encouraged to marry a non-Muslim, nowhere have I heard any scholar state otherwise.

It is a burden and it makes matters much more difficult than they would have to be. And you have to remember, whilst there are Christians and Jews who believe in a God, you might just marry an Atheist. Then you love somebody who possibly does not love God, that's a burden for a believer, isn't it.

And I quote uncle Woodrow, who made an important statement:

Woodrow said:
I think this is a moot point. Muslim men are permitted to marry "People of the Book" but I do not believe that in today's world there remains very few if any true "people of the book" as described in the Qur'an.

It seems that in terms of safety and to avoid error it is best if both Muslim Men and Women only marry Muslims.
Click to expand...

InshaAllah you find more insight and understanding for the situation.
 
ieshia said:
WHAT!!!
No that is not true at all. There is a law here called the separation of church and state where no laws or decisions are made because of religion. The court here always favor the mother when it comes handling the children and the father must pay child support to the mother to take care of them. I also know of cases where the christian father did not get to have the children in the end.
Click to expand...

in practice: yes. in reality... well... not so much when it comes to muslims
 
Alpha Dude said:
A muslim woman marrying a non-muslim man is strictly impermissible. If a muslim woman were to go ahead and marry a non-muslim, she'd be living in perpetual fornication. Don't lose sight of this fact when trying to deduce reasons why the law is what it is.


Pre-marital talk of what things will be like is an illusion. Circumstances change and people change with it. Don't blindly take the word of somebody when he says all will be fine and dandy, especially if there is a romantic interest in that person.
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couldn't have put it in to better words myself!

sister everybody say loads of things before marriage and then after its a whole different story because peoples thinking change.

and again Allah surely knows best
 
Guestfellow said:
Yes however the point I was making that a women responsibilities have been reduced. Why you put yourself in a situation where you have more responsibilities to handle?
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I just ask for equality. I would also be against women getting better treatment than men because i don't find that to be fair. Also i do understand that men and women are very different and have different roles which is proven by science it self but i still feel equality should be maintained when it comes to these social matters.


Guestfellow said:
However a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim should be avoided. I don't understand why people bother putting themselves in a situation where you’re faced with greater responsibilities.
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That is totally a personal choice. No one can speak for another person and say what is right for an adult. For some it might be easier to do one thing but for another it could be easier to go another way. We are no one to judge.






Guestfellow said:
What a man says does not mean he will put that into practice. Your rights are limited as well if you choose to marry a non-Muslim.
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Marriage is a contract, you can easily get what you want in writing as a promise that he will not stop his wife or kids from practicing her religion.


Guestfellow said:
Well you cannot always guarantee that will work...of course same applies to a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim.
Click to expand...

Just like the arguments made that the man might force his wife to listen to her and follow her religion. Well the man(even muslim) could be out working all day and his wife(Christian/Jew) could teach the kids what ever she wants and they will have a closer bond with their mother. Also Islam teaches us that your mother is above all and your father comes second. Now how can kids not listen to what their mother has to say or wants them to do because they must be obedient to her.
 
limitless said:
:sl:

Interesting Question.

Sis, you're obviously looking at this question from a different perspective than most of us do, including muslim women here.

As I understand so far, this is how it is you are looking at the problem:

If the man can get a job, so can I. If the man can drive a car, so can I. If the man can do this and that...etc.

You need to look at it from real Islamic perspective that Allah swt has established for men and women. This is just an human and logical way of thinking established by non believers, others would say "westerns" which is true because that is where this concept emerged from.

Anyway, two people have stated very good reasons why a muslim women cannot marry a non-muslim guy. It is said in Al Qur'an and ahadith.

You can argue all you want, say whatever you want because in the end You are not married to the non-muslim man in the eyes of Allah swt and islamically. You are basically in a haraam relationship. By human laws, you are married, but islamically you are not. You should look at this question from a different perspective sis, that's the issue I see with you.

Next, you would ask "why can't a muslim women divorce her husband?". So please try to look at it from different point of view.

Heres a similar question as to yours:

However, I do not want to commit anything that is against Islam. Why is it okay for men to marry Christian women yet Muslim women are not allowed to marry Christian men? That is what my parents have told me. I don't know what to do. Can you please give me some assistance?

Answer:

The general rule of Islam is that Muslims should marry Muslims. A Muslim male or female should not marry a non-Muslim male or female. Allah Almighty says:

limitless said:
“ Wed not idolatresses till they believe; for lo! a believing bondwoman is better than an idolatress though she please you; and give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters till they believe, for lo! a believing slave is better than an idolater though he please you. These invite unto the Fire, and Allah inviteth unto the Garden, and unto forgiveness by His grace, and expoundeth thus His revelations to mankind that haply they may remember.” (Al-Baqarah: 221)
Click to expand...

That says don't marry idolatresses. Which means people who worship other than god. So that would mean Hindus, Buddhist, Atheist etc. Not people of the book because they are believers in God.

limitless said:
First of all, it is not an honor or a privilege to marry a non-Muslim. It is a burden and a big responsibility. It is better to abstain from such marriages. Muslim men who are living in non-Muslim countries in particular should not marry non-Muslim women. However, man being the head of his household is more capable to handle the needs and problems of his non-Muslim (Christian or Jewish) wife. Muslims believe that Moses and Jesus, peace and blessings be upon them all, were Prophets of Allah and so they give them full honor and respect.

Jews and Christians do not consider Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, as the Prophet of Allah. Thus they are unable to give the same respect and honor to him and to his followers. A Jewish or Christian woman with a Muslim husband will be in a much better position than a Muslim woman with a Jewish or a Christian husband. Even then, there are many non-Muslim women who married outside their faith say that they wish their religion too had forbidden them, because they know how difficult and hard it is to be the wife of a husband who has a different faith.
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Well if the non muslim husbad doesn't give the same respect to our prophet is the same as a non muslim wife not having the same respect for our prophet(pbuh)

limitless said:
A Muslim woman should know that Allah has really honored her and made it easy for her by not allowing her to marry a non-Muslim man.

According to the Qur'an, the husband is the head of the household and his wife should obey him. Allah does not put the Muslim woman in a position that a non-Muslim becomes her head in her own private life. Allah has spared her to suffer from being under the authority of a non-Muslim husband.
Click to expand...
How is this any different than having a Husband who's Muslim and does not treat his wife well. As long as she can practice her religion, there should be nothing else interfering. How is a Muslim man who beats his wife, doesn't hold a good job, drinks, smokes, and has no respect for his wife better than the Christian/Jew who has respect for his wife and allows her to practice her religion, takes care of all her desires financially and emotionally.

limitless said:
That should be sufficient to answer your question. Many scholars and imaams have answered this already with same response.

:wa:
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Also can you provide me with evidence from the quran where it states that a muslim woman must only marry a Muslim man. I will like to review that gain.
Thank you
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Alpha Dude said:
Pre-marital talk of what things will be like is an illusion. Circumstances change and people change with it. Don't blindly take the word of somebody when he says all will be fine and dandy, especially if there is a romantic interest in that person.
Click to expand...

I am sorry but i fail to understand how this claim is true at all. Meher is something that must be taken care of and it is something that is discussed before the couple is married. How is that an illusion?
 
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